It hurts that I still don’t have that person who loves me and all of me. I don’t entirely mean romantically, I mean platonically as well. No one is willing to wake up at midnight to answer my silly questions because they know how much of a smile it puts on my face and warmth it spreads throughout my heart. No one is willing to ask why I always fall asleep in class but yet they always gawk and stare. No one is willing to be there for me when I cry and cry yet they always cock their heads and whisper to their friends asking them what’s wrong with me. No one is there when I need them most. No one is willing to put up with the true me. The me that’s too curious and always worries and cries like a baby and that rambles about stupid stuff like how long on average does it take sunflowers to grow. I always have to change myself somehow to fit into their mold but not my own. No one ever wonders about me or asks how I’m doing. No one questions why I get nervous sometimes in the middle of class or why I walk funny. They never ask why I always cry during the beginning of April. It’s like they all assume. They make up their own story that makes sense to them but god forbid they listened to the truth. People constantly assume they know your body and your soul and your desires but the second you tell them that they’re wrong, they get defensive as if they know better. People always try to convince me I’m something I’m not like that I’m not sick or I’m not sad or I’m not imperfect. But I am sick, and I am allowed to be sad, and I am most definitely imperfect. But they don’t take the time to realize all of that. They don’t bother getting to know me or making sure I’m okay. Making sure I eat enough or making sure that I am not feeling sick. Making sure that I feel validated and worthful and loved. I do that to everyone but not a single person does that to me. I hate it.
In childhood, words are weightless - I shout I hate you and it means nothing, the same can be said for I love you - but as an adult, those very words are used with greater care, they no longer slip out of the mouth with the same ease. I do is another example, a phrase that in childhood is only the stuff of playacting, a game between children, but then grows freighted with meaning.
One day you won’t be a swimmer anymore. You won’t have those long bus rides with your teammates. You won’t stare at the black line on the bottom of the pool for hours on end. You won’t pull your bone-aching body out of the water day in and day out. You won’t have that routine you do before every race. You won’t scream like hell for your teammates.
One day teammates will become distant acquaintances and swimming will become what used to be instead of what is. Eventually, the one thing you looked forward to will come to an end. The one thing you relied on to relieve your stress and allow you to escape from all your problems won’t be there anymore. One day you won’t be a swimmer, you will just have the memories of one.
So I beg of you, cherish these moments right here, right now. Live in it freely, embrace the pain, laugh with your teammates, love your coaches. Push yourself 110% and have no regrets. Make some damn good memories because one day, you’ll leave what you once loved and step into the bright, exciting, unknown future in search of a new love, and these memories will be all you have left from this crazy ass sport.
some thoughts bc i just realized i only have 2 more years :’)
This is heartbreaking and consuming and addictive. It’s terrifying and peaceful, crazy and serene. It’s a million things in one brief moment and it’s something I don’t understand and never want to live without.
Talvez não somos perfeitos, mas aqui, eu me sinto perfeita para este homem e ele para mim. Isso só parece como se talvez, por acidente, ou ilusão, ou algum milagre, ou por um planejamento divino, nós somos apenas … certo um para o outro. — Tycoon.
9 Times Taylor Swift Showed the World What It Means to Be Fierce
We’re constantly inspired by Swift, who emerged victorious in her sexual assault case Monday, vowing to donate to organizations to help other survivors of sexual assault, too
BY ALISON SCHWARTZ AND DIANA PEARL•
POSTED ON AUGUST 15, 2017
AT 5:37PM EDT
1) WHEN SHE COUNTERSUED HER ASSAILANT — FOR $1 — TO MAKE A STATEMENT ABOUT SEXUAL ASSAULT (AND WON!)
Backstage before one of her concerts in 2013, David Mueller, then a radio host, allegedly grabbed Swift’s behind during a meet-and-greet. Swift never sued Mueller or reported him to the police, but her security team did accuse him of the assault, which he claims led to him losing his job. He then sued Swift, saying that the allegations ruined his career. She countersued, arguing that he “intentionally reached under her skirt, and groped with his hand an intimate part of her body in an inappropriate manner, against her will, and without her permission.” Her suit was for just $1, as Swift said she didn’t want to “bankrupt this man.” After some fierce court testimony, Swift won the lawsuit, and though she received only the $1 she asked for, she promised to donate more of her own money to groups that aid victims of sexual assault. “I acknowledge the privilege that I benefit from in life, in society and in my ability to shoulder the enormous cost of defending myself in a trial like this,” she said in a statement after the trial’s conclusion. “My hope is to help those whose voices should also be heard. Therefore, I will be making donations in the near future to multiple organizations that help sexual assault victims defend themselves.”
2) WHEN SHE CHANGED APPLE’S MIND IN A SINGLE DAY WITH A SINGLE LETTER
“We don’t ask you for free iPhones. Please don’t ask us to provide you with our music for no compensation," Taylor Swift wrote in a lengthy essay explaining that she would hold back 1989 from Apple Music because its free trial period causes artists to lose three months of compensation. The letter led Apple to change its tune: Soon after her words went viral, Eddy Cue, senior vice president of internet software and services, and CEO Tim Cook called Swift directly to tell her that the company will pay artists after all.
3) WHEN SHE WENT UP AGAINST SPOTIFY
We all thought Swift would never, ever, ever get back together with Spotify after pulling her catalog in 2015 (and simultaneously igniting a debate about the streaming service). "I think there should be an inherent value placed on art,” she said. “I didn’t see that happening, perception-wise, when I put my music on Spotify.” She ended up changing her tune in June 2017, putting her catalog back on Spotify to celebrate 1989 selling 10 million albums worldwide.
4) WHEN SHE JUST DID NOT HAVE TIME FOR THAT FEUD THING
Her fans, her cats, her squad of equally impression girlfriends – those are all things Swift will gladly talk to you about. Just don’t ask her about her rumored feud with Katy Perry, the much-speculated inspiration for “Bad Blood." She told The Telegraph, "I’m not giving them anything to write about. I’m never going to talk about her in my interview. It’s not going to happen." Mic drop.
5) SPEAKING OF RUMORS: SHE HANDLES THEM LIKE A PRO
We just may never know if cat-cidental damage is covered by anyone’s insurance. Poking fun at reports she took some serious steps to protect her famous legs, she posted a photo on Instagram of a claw-related injury. "GREAT WORK MEREDITH," she wrote. "I WAS JUST TRYING TO LOVE YOU AND NOW YOU OWE ME 40 MILLION DOLLARS.”
6) WHEN SHE PUT THE PAPARAZZI IN THEIR PLACE
Nothing ruins a Hawaiian vacation with your girlfriends quite like … a bunch of strangers taking your picture with a long-lens camera. “We realize, ‘Okay, so they got pictures of us in our bikinis. Like, I don’t want them to make like $100,000 for stalking us," she recalled. "So we’re like, 'Get up on the bow of the boat. We’re taking better bikini shots, so they don’t make as much money on theirs.’”
7) WHEN SHE MADE AN IMPORTANT CASE FOR FEMINISM IN 2015
When a tabloid implied Swift made a pregnancy announcement – nope, she’s just that cool to her fans – the singer quickly elevated the conversation. “This misleading headline and your choice of words in labeling me are why we need feminism in 2015,” she wrote on Twitter.
8) WHEN SHE TURNED A JOKE INTO A DIALOGUE
When her dating track record became a punch line for hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler at the 2013 Golden Globes, Swift responded to the controversy with a Madeleine Albright quote she heard from Katie Couric: “There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.”
9) NOT TO MENTION EVERY OTHER TIME SHE’S STOOD UP FOR FEMALE ARTISTS AND WOMEN AROUND THE WORLD
“For a female to write about her feelings and then be portrayed as some clingy, insane, desperate girlfriend in need of making you marry her and have kids with her, I think that’s taking something that potentially should be celebrated – a woman writing about her feelings in a confessional way – that’s taking it and turning it and twisting it into something that is frankly a little sexist," she told Vanity Fair in 2013. Any questions?
❝ sometimes, yes, sometimes an aching sadness comes to me across the plain. i think of the girls in stories who are set IMPOSSIBLE TASKS: count every grain in the field, weave a net out of water. ALWAYS A GIRL. she’s bent over, counting grain. she doesn’t know why. it is her fate. she is the victim of a closed and shining logic. why does she never stand up? she says: ‘i have to save the world.’❞(art credit)