I was never in love with you;
I was in love with the idea of you.
The idea of you comforting me if I needed it, the thought of you wrapping your arms around me.
To have the memory of you calling me beautiful.
I loved you, but not for who you were…
so why is it that I still ache for you? m.k.j.
I don’t like to admit when I have feelings for someone, because every time I do something goes wrong, so if I ever tell you I like you just know. It took me a lot of thinking and courage to get it out.
God, I fucking miss you so much. It hits me randomly during the day. I’m with people who actually care about me, laughing, smiling, being happy and then out of nowhere it hits me that you left. You left and it didn’t even hurt you. Not talking to me isn’t even fucking hurting you, because I was just another girl to you. I was just another one of your fucking toys.
“Perfect is the only way to describe him. He isn’t nice, he’s so much more than that. He isn’t handsome, handsome doesn’t describe his boyish smile or his dreamy tall frame or his adoring black hair. He isn’t just a good listener, because I loved to hear him tell his own stories too. And he doesn’t just have a nice voice, that doesn’t describe his fruity laugh or the way he speaks when he talks about what he loves. I could go on forever, but when I think of perfect, my mind goes straight to him.”
yet because he’s truly not perfect, I love him even more… m.k.j.
There was once a boy who offered me the moon. You should see him then, he had this big orb glowing in his hands with little pockets of curve on its surface, and a boyish smile that could set the whole sky alight. I should have taken his offer, but I didn’t. For this boy is made of darkness, and all he has throughout his life is this little moon, a little light in the expanse of his darkness, and I love this boy too much to take away his one source of light and happiness.
Too late when I realize that by giving me his moon, he was really asking me to be his newfound light, his new source of happiness, and silly me had said no.