Maybe it killed you to see that I could smile without you, that I could laugh with someone who wasn’t you. Maybe you finally realized that I could breathe and live, and that I didn’t need you after all.
Because at some point I got tired of chasing, chasing someone who was never going to come around. I was a fool, going back and forth playing your stupid, little game. The difference between you and I though, I tried to get through to your heart - I cared, I loved, and you didn’t. You could’ve let me in, you should’ve let me in, you needed to let me in.
But you made a decision, and your decision wasn’t me.
“[George] had so much respect for John. And he always treated me with so much sweetness. I think he understood real love, deep love, more than the others. Professionally, I always remember how serious he was… how determined he was to make sure that I received the creative credit I deserved. George was a sweet man, who, despite reflections on him by others, was really the least complicated of the Beatles… at least to me.” - Astrid Kirchherr, When They Were Boys by Larry Kane [x]
“You’re gonna mistakes, you’re gonna make good friends and Mr. Feeny will probably teach you every grade you’re ever in. And maybe you’ll meet a woman as wonderful as Topanga, how’d you like that? And maybe you’ll make a friend like Shawn. But when you’re not a little boy anymore, when the world taught you how to be this man, you know, you’re still gonna make mistakes. But your family and your friends that you made along the way are gonna help you. Even thought it’ll seem like the world’s going out of it’s way to teach you these hard lessons, you’re gonna realize that it’s the same world that’s giving you your family and your friends, you know? And you’re gonna come to believe to believe that the world’s gonna protect you too. Boy Meets World. Now I get it.“
It’s such a simple word. How does a three letter word make you think of three thousand different things? His smile, his laugh, his voice. The tingles that are sent up your spine when he touches you. Your heart skipping a beat when he looks at you. Him, the boy who makes you happy, even when you don’t want to be.
I’m just scared you know? What if I fall in love with him and he leaves? What if he leaves just like the rest of them? I’m not ready for that, I don’t want that mess again. I just now picked up all my broken pieces; I really, really don’t want to do that again.
“Listen to me,” she said, staring intently into my eyes, as I stared back at her as mine were now filling with tears.
“So what he opened your ‘i miss you’ text that you sent drunk at 3 in the morning and he didn’t respond? So what he stopped giving you that shy smile that he always used to send your way when you walked by each other in the hallways? So what his fingers are now intertwined with the hand of a girl that isn’t you? He is the one with a problem.”
“He clearly fails to see how utterly iridescent and beautiful and magnificent you are. Honestly, I feel bad for him. He’s pretty damn stupid if he can’t recognize the pure light that is bursting from your soul.”
“And I’m not going to lie to you, you’re going to meet plenty of other stupid assholes in your lifetime- they’ll break your heart in more ways than one. The one thing you’ll need to remember though- always, always remember- tattoo it on your forehead if you have to, is this: his opinion does not define you. His inability to see and appreciate the fucking miracle of God that you are is not your fault. So stop putting the blame on you, and most importantly, stop letting the opinion of a boy who won’t matter in 6 months time effect how you see yourself. You are worth so much more than losing yourself over a boy who doesn’t care.”
“What matters is that you put your heart out on the line. Yeah, it was torn to pieces this time. But I absolutely promise you that one day, you’ll give your heart to somebody, and they won’t drop it. Instead, they’ll give theirs right back to you. And something so indescribably wonderful and magical will come out of it that this boy won’t even be a sliver of a thought in your mind. I promise.”