quotes about acceptance

People are always looking for someone who will love them, but that’s not the most important thing you could hope for. Find someone who isn’t afraid of you; someone who plays with your fire instead of running from it. Be with the person that walks in your darkness without searching for a light - they know there isn’t one. Accept nothing less than someone who embraces your evils and ugliness. The thing about this person is you won’t have to wonder if they love you or not. You’ll know when they look at you with amazement and curiosity, not fear.
I’m a paradox. I want to be happy, but I think of things that make me sad. I’m lazy, yet I’m ambitious. I don’t like myself, but I also love who I am. I say I don’t care, but I really do. I crave attention, but reject it when it comes my way. I’m a conflicted contradiction. If I can’t figure myself out, there’s no way anyone else has.
—  Unknown
It’s quite an undertaking to start loving somebody. You have to have energy, generosity, blindness. There is even a moment right at the start where you have to jump across an abyss: if you think about it you don’t do it.
—  Jean-Paul Sartre

We all have old versions of ourselves. Do you see yourself the same way as last year, last month, or even last week? I do not. I talk to people so easily these days, I stand where I once crumbled just at a touch last year. I do not cry when my father raises his voice like I did a few months ago. I compliment a girl I could not talk to last week. Constantly, we are changing, growing, fluctuating.

This is how I know we have many soulmates. Maybe you met yours when you were as young as eight or as old as seventy-eight. Either way, we have a soulmate of every version of ourselves. You loved an old version of me. You can keep her. I do not want that version of myself back ever again.

—  We are growing and changing constantly, we all have different versions of ourselves that different versions of people love.
We accept the love we think we deserve.
—  Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
You’re lonely,” they say,
but it doesn’t scare me
for it teaches me,
and maybe that’s the biggest win from these years:
I don’t need anyone else to distract me from myself anymore,
like I always thought I would…

I can finally stand myself,
and I never thought I would.
—  Charlotte Eriksson, You’re Doing Just Fine
You cry and you cry until you think you can’t cry anymore.
Then you cry some more.
—  The Normal Heart
It’s all fine to say, ‘Time will heal everything, this too shall pass away. People will forget’ - and things like that when you are not involved, but when you are there is no passage of time, people do not forget and you are in the middle of something that does not change.
—  Cannery Row - John Steinbeck

What You’ll Need:
- just you, exactly how you are
- a mirror
- your heart, no matter how broken or strong

Step #1: Apply all of your aesthetics. This includes those glasses you have avoided wearing, the smile that you resist to hide your braces, the kinkiness of your hair that you were told needed to be straightened, the beauty mark posed on your cheek, and so on. You tend to mask yourself around the company of others, but allow yourself to expose what you were demanded to hide.

Step #2: Get that heart of yours ready to encounter a person it may have developed an opposition for. Whatever state your heart may be in, prepare it for a flood of emotions that may either soften the hardness your heart has, seep through the cracks that remind you of your previous pain, or have a flood so vicious that the pieces to your shattered heart sink or resurface in the pool of diverse emotions. Prepare your heart to feel because when it comes to your self image, the heart always has a reaction.

Step #3: With heart in preparation, sit yourself in front of a mirror and look into your eyes. Not at the small indents your pores create, not at the freckles sporadically scattered throughout, not at your lips, not at your nose as if you can get away with avoiding your eyes, no. Look in your eyes, deep inside them. You want someone to compliment the breathtaking pools that waver slightly in the center of your eyes, yet you don’t even stare into them yourself. Do more than just a quick glance and don’t shy away either. Your eyes tell such a powerful story, a story that your mouth sometimes refuses to tell. Look deep at the pain so heavy in your eyes, reminding you of all of those nights where you swore your place on earth was based off of an accident. Look even deeper at the strength you claim you don’t have even when you continue to fill your lungs with air. Look even deeper at the cries of help your eyes have screamed many times before, yet no one noticed, which led you to having to answer the cry yourself. Those moments where you had to be there for yourself because that message your powerful eyes have announced was dismissed by the world around you. Look deeper at moments like those where your eyes celebrate the fact that you have not given up and with that, look at the victory you won everyday by continuing to wake up, providing yourself the opportunity to see the day where your story makes an inspirational mark on someone else’s motivation. Stare not at yourself, but at your eyes. May your heart feel every sentence those eyes of yours speak.

#Step 4: Be silent for as long as you’d like as you stare at your eyes in the mirror. Continue the moment where you and yourself meet once again. Just remember that, yes, those eyes are powerful, but remember that your tongue is, too. Receive the message of your eyes, but speak back to it, for your tongue holds the power of life and the power of death. Too many times have you spoken the most calamitous words that could soil your heart while you were looking in the mirror. Too many times have you called out every flaw and blamed them for poisoning your chance to be beautiful. Too many times have you interrupted every opportunity to encourage yourself by ripping out your hair and smashing your teeth because you were convinced that there was no future for you to encourage. Enough of that. Enough of all of it. That’s not why you have a tongue, so you can beat yourself up with its words. No, it’s there to bring life and healing and you say you’ve always wanted to hear those sweet words, but you’ve shut your mouth when it came time to say them. Enough of that. Make no room for words of discouragement, but make no room for silence, either. Respond back to your eyes in the most powerful way possible and finally, speak life. Speak to the pain that is hidden in the pools of your eyes and thank it for pushing you to gain strength. Speak to the strength in your eyes and tell it that there’s going to be more where that came from. Speak to the cries of help that still hope for rescue and answer it by stating your commitment to always be there for yourself, to be gentle with yourself and to answer your eyes’ cry with the reminder that a victory is going to come from this. Speak to the small party your eyes hold, celebrating that your history in the making will continue to make victories, just by your strength to wake up every morning. Don’t hold back. Respond to the story your eyes tell with words that will make great chapters in your book. Continue to speak words of encouragement and of life.

Step #5: Control your tongue for the next step. It’s so used to speaking words of hatred, but the training to speak life starts right now.

Step #6: Now, it’s time to speak to your reflection - to the glasses on your face, to the size of your nose, to the freckles scattered from your forehead to your chin, to the beauty mark on your cheek, to the braces on your teeth, all of it. For so long, you have been comfortable with your own mouth assailing your reflection, along with being comfortable with your heart turning away in disgust. It’s time to reverse the normalcy of that. The bondage of that normalcy has to be broken. After responding to your eyes, it’s time to speak to what many consider as flaws and apologize to them for wishing on their nonexistence because the despondency of wishing that parts of your body would be gone is intense. Look at the glasses hanging from your nose and thank the design and the lens for giving you better chances to see. Look at your nose, no matter the size, inhale deeply and exhale slowly and thank it for assisting your breathing and allowing you to smell the sweetness of the day. Look at your freckles and thank it for uniqueness, for there’s no other pattern that could imitate it exactly. Look at the beauty mark on your cheek and ponder on how true the meaning of it is. It’s a beautiful mark made just for you and it’s been waiting for your words to remind it of its beauty. Smile. Smile as wide as you possibly can and look at those beautiful set of teeth, decorated with braces or not, and thank it for its contagion, for when you smile, others can’t help but to show theirs, too. The uniqueness that originates from its presence is priceless. Why discourage something so beautiful?

Step #7: After you are finished with encouraging yourself in the mirror, after you have said all that you wanted to say and cried all the tears you wanted to cry, leave the mirror and compliment yourself without a reflection. Feeling beautiful is more than just an outward thing, but it must take place on the inside, too, which means it is a necessity to make the heart feel beautiful, as well. As the day goes on and if you find yourself laughing, let your heart know how beautiful it sounds, for it symbolizes the exemption of being yourself and enjoying a moment that could sweeten the day. As the day goes on and if you find yourself crying, let your heart know how strong it is. As the day goes on and if you make a mistake, let your heart know how perfectly normal it is to be human. As the day goes on and there is no mirror present, compliment your heart. Train not only your mouth to speak in invigoration, but train your heart to be invigorated as well. Train it to not only be kind to yourself, but also kind to those in your vicinity. Never stop at loving what’s on the outside, but it’s the makeover on the inside that exposes the beauty.

Repeat these steps as many times in the day as you’d like, but make sure you do this at least once a day. Repeat this not only when you feel discouraged, but even at your highest point, so the reminder that you are beautiful will never fan out. Repeat so it becomes a natural routine, that you won’t even second guess the opportunity to complete these steps. Always keep that heart of yours in training to be gentle with yourself and kind to others, for confidence is not a self thing, but beneficial to those around you as well.

The purpose of this isn’t to get a big head, but a big heart. Encouragement is so powerful and it’s so beautiful to encourage yourself. It’s a necessity to encourage others as well.

—  To Believe You Are Beautiful Tutorial