I loved you like I knew how to do nothing but that. You were all I had, and all I needed. You gave me the purpose to live, like you were the Sun. But I forgot that eventually, the Sun dies out and nothing but a vast darkness will follow
I have no idea what started our conversation or the ensuing madness which followed, but I do know that there was something about you that got so far under my skin that I’ve not been able to shake you from my thoughts even after all this time……
What if I can’t love you the way you deserve to be loved? Maybe that’s why we should go our separate ways and that this is a good thing, maybe that’s the silver lining.
You deserve someone who can give you more than you could ever know, more than this world could ever offer. You carry a very beautiful soul that should be cherished with every inch of love that exists, even if you don’t believe that.
I hope one day you regret everything and realize things weren’t so bad between us and maybe you realize I did my best for you every single day. However, when that day comes I’ll be gone, and we missed a perfectly good chance to find happiness together.
I can’t remember his face anymore, nor how his voice sounds. I used to wish for this, to forget, to not remember, and now that I finally can’t, I do not know what to make of it, or what to feel. I’m not happy nor sad. I just feel lost. A little bit confused. Like I’m grasping the last piece of memories I have with him but I just couldn’t bring it forth to my mind, and no matter how hard I think of him, or how long I take a look at a picture of him, when I close my eyes, I just… can’t. I can’t remember his face anymore.
cynthia go // I can’t remember his face anymore // excerpt from a book i’ll never write #29
Falling in love is a choice made on feeling. We choose to act on the butterflies and comfort someone gives us. We choose whether or not we want to be devoted to that one person - or whether or not we choose to hurt them. That’s why when I hear people making excuses about cheating, I feel almost compelled to remind them that they made a choice. The same choice they made based on feeling with their partner, they made with their affair. At the end of the day, either you do or you don’t. Either you continue to choose to be loyal or you don’t.
Its been a year now since you left and i guess I’m doing fine. I have days where i cant get you off my mind and i check up on you all day, then i have days where you only cross my mind once or twice. There are days where i feel everything and just wish you would come back, then there are days where i feel nothing for you and don’t think about you at all. It sucks cause deep down i know i really just want you to come back, but checking up on you, i know you’re happy alone and i probably don’t even cross your mind anymore. We text here and there but its only because i have stuff to give back to you. But now I have nothing left to give back, and we stopped talking completely .a year now and i still cant forget about you. A year now and you’re still all i think about, all i dream about, it sucks. I wish i can just erase everything, forget all the memories because they make me more sad than happy. I’m slowly forgetting about you, losing feelings, letting go… just a few more months and hopefully ill be ready to let you go and move on..