quote about moving on

I hope one day you regret everything and realize things weren’t so bad between us and maybe you realize I did my best for you every single day. However, when that day comes I’ll be gone, and we missed a perfectly good chance to find happiness together.

What if I can’t love you the way you deserve to be loved? Maybe that’s why we should go our separate ways and that this is a good thing, maybe that’s the silver lining.

You deserve someone who can give you more than you could ever know, more than this world could ever offer. You carry a very beautiful soul that should be cherished with every inch of love that exists, even if you don’t believe that.

And maybe I can’t do any of that.

Maybe it’s just not me.

—  c.f. // “I guess this time it was me”
I have no idea what started our conversation or the ensuing madness which followed, but I do know that there was something about you that got so far under my skin that I’ve not been able to shake you from my thoughts even after all this time……
I used to think that this was it. That my life was over without him in it. That I couldn’t be possibly any happier in the future than when I was with him. After he left me, it’s as if my world stopped spinning, and I became afraid of the future. I became afraid to think of the future, knowing fully that this time I have to imagine and rebuild it without him.

Yet, indeed, time heals everything. Days turned to months, and months turned to years, and I found that the world started spinning again, gradually, slowly, yet continuously and unfaltering. And I realized the world really did not stop for me. I’m the one who stopped. I’m the one who stopped moving, I’m the one who stopped caring, I’m the one who stopped trying to live. So with faith and hope for the future, I stood again. And here I am now, happy, complete, and contented with the life I built even without him.
—  cynthia go // A future without him

Its been a year now since you left and i guess I’m doing fine. I have days where i cant get you off my mind and i check up on you all day, then i have days where you only cross my mind once or twice. There are days where i feel everything and just wish you would come back, then there are days where i feel nothing for you and don’t think about you at all. It sucks cause deep down i know i really just want you to come back, but checking up on you, i know you’re happy alone and i probably don’t even cross your mind anymore. We text here and there but its only because i have stuff to give back to you. But now I have nothing left to give back, and we stopped talking completely .a year now and i still cant forget about you. A year now and you’re still all i think about, all i dream about, it sucks. I wish i can just erase everything, forget all the memories because they make me more sad than happy. I’m slowly forgetting about you, losing feelings, letting go… just a few more months and hopefully ill be ready to let you go and move on..

Can we stay here for a while,
Where you hold my hand,
And I hold my breath,
And I fight back tears as I hold back time
From separating us forever apart?
—  cynthia go // Can we stay here for a while?

It’s been said that we really only fall in love with three people in our lifetime.

Yet, it’s said that we need each of these loves for a different reason.

Often our first is when we are young, high school even. It’s the idealistic love; the one that seems like the fairytales we are all read as children.

It’s a love that looks right.

The second is supposed to be our hard love; the one that teaches us lessons about who we are and how we often want or need to be loved.

Sometimes it’s unhealthy, unbalanced or narcissistic even.

It’s the love that we wished was right.

And the third is the love we never see coming. The one that usually comes dressed as all wrong for us and that destroys any lingering ideals we clung to about what love is supposed to be.

It’s the love that just feels right.

Maybe we don’t all experience these loves in this lifetime; but perhaps that’s just because we aren’t ready to.

Possibly maybe we need a whole lifetime to learn or maybe if we’re lucky it only takes a few years.

And there may be those people who fall in love once and find it passionately lasts until their last breath.

Someone once told me they are the lucky ones; and perhaps they are.

But I kinda think that those who make it to their third love are really the lucky ones.

They are the ones who are tired of having to try and whose broken hearts lay beating in front of them wondering if there is just something inherently wrong with how they love.

But there’s not; it’s just a matter of if someone loves in the same way that they do or not.

And maybe there’s something special about our first love, and something heartbreakingly unique about our second…but there’s also just something about our third.

The one we never see coming.
The one that actually lasts.
The one that shows us why it never worked out before.

And it’s that possibility that makes trying again always worthwhile, because the truth is you never know when you’ll stumble into love.

in 50 years
  • Me: Gather around children, grandma has a story to tell you
  • Me: It was a Tuesday; October 27, 2015. F(x) released their best album. It was called... 4 Walls...
  • Grandchildren: This story again Grandma!?
  • Me: You exist because I exist and I'm alive because of them so sit down and shut up
  • Me: Okay so, it was October 27, 2015...
Falling in love is a choice made on feeling. We choose to act on the butterflies and comfort someone gives us. We choose whether or not we want to be devoted to that one person - or whether or not we choose to hurt them. That’s why when I hear people making excuses about cheating, I feel almost compelled to remind them that they made a choice. The same choice they made based on feeling with their partner, they made with their affair. At the end of the day, either you do or you don’t. Either you continue to choose to be loyal or you don’t.
—  Confessions of the Soul