quote about life

6

[…]Invest in Gotham. Treat its people like family, watch over them, and use this money to safeguard them from forces beyond their control. My deepest regret is I will not see you grow into the good man I know you will become. And finally, my son… I ask that you never abandon this city to fate. We have lived through dark days, and no doubt there are more to come. But it is the good and great men who stand up for Gotham when others turn and run… In death, I will love you forever.

We hung out yesterday. You scooted over to the middle seat so that you could be closer to me. I blushed. “Oh now you don’t wanna sit next to me?” You teased, smirking . You put your head in my lap as I played with your hair. Our hands interlocked at one point. I smiled and looked down at our hands as I leaned into your shoulder, resting my head. Your hand soon crept up to my thigh. Can you be mine already?
—  yesterday // 1:10pm

okay fine i’m up.

my life is basically a soap opera now and i’m pretty much going to just throw you all in the middle of it? and now that i’m actually ~back and can keep you all updated, uh, well, you probably don’t need cable anymore, ahaha.

so. last night. i met emily and daniel at waffle house after work. didn’t get home until 2:30. set up my new laptop when i got home and didn’t go to bed until 4:30. also haven’t been feeling well and have been taking benadryl every night to help me sleep. so took two benadryl and went to sleep. at 11:30 or something like that, woke up to someone baNGING on my front door. quickly put on pants and went to answer the door. it was dalton. with chinese food.

but let’s back up for a second here. i asked dalton on tuesday aND wednesday if he wanted to have lunch on saturday. he never answered me. i thought that meant no. my relationship with dalton is also super complicated. as in we were kind of dating. we went on a few dates. other stuff happened. we weren’t technically dating and yet he’s broken up with me three times. (my life is literally a mess ahahahaha) but now we’re friends? also emily is his ex. daniel is her brother. emily and i are friends now and we’re basically the same person.

if all of that made sense to you, you deserve a medal because i’m still wrapping my head around some of this.

so back to my morning. dalton took one look at me, went “were you asleep?” and laughed and i was like uH YEAH. BECAUSE YOU NEVER SAID YOU WERE ACTUALLY COMING. we were already in the middle of inglorious basterds so he came to finish that. but failed to mention he had to work at one. we still didn’t finish. and i was 90% asleep. so he literally came over for an hour, brought chinese food, watched half a movie and then went to work.

i am still not convinced that i didn’t dream the whole thing. this has been the world’s weirdest day. or life. or year. i don’t know anymore.

but i’m evidently up now. and online. so hi. apparently i’m here to catch up. or roleplay. or figure out how to use my new laptop. (how does windows 10 even work?!? i am so confused.)

also if you haven’t answered my secret santa post, you should totally do so. though kate and jenn are already givens and have no say in the matter, haha. but if anyone else wants to join, let me know. and katelyn, i’ll give you a rundown of how it works. i think i have an old post from a few years ago when we first started. i’ll see if i can find it.

so yes. welcome to my soap opera. maybe i should name it. give it its own tag. fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy life.

It’s not that I don’t love you it’s just that when I was three I watched my father violently sob while packing a blue duffle bag and when I asked him where he was going he croaked out ‘your mother doesn’t love me anymore’ the sun in his eyes set that night and I’ve yet to see it rise again.

It’s not that I don’t love you it’s just that when I was six my grandfather lost his sanity over my grandmother and left a voicemail on our home phone screaming for my mother to give him his guns back― he went away for a while and I’m not sure if he’s ever coming back.

It’s not that I don’t love you it’s just that when I was nine my third grade teacher found out her husband was unfaithful to her and she was so distraught that she had to leave work for a few months. When she came back her smile was tightly knit to her face, but I saw the tears that permanently stained her cheeks raw like a ripe pomegranate and the way her hands shook with uncertainty.

It’s not that I don’t love you it’s just that when I was thirteen my sister’s boyfriend told her he didn’t want to be with her anymore so she stopped eating dinner and starting painting her eyes black. I guess she decided that if she didn’t look like the girl who fell in love with him she wouldn’t feel like her either.

It’s not that I don’t love you it’s just that for ten years straight I watched my step father break my mothers spirit with his words and the only time he ever touched her was to leave dark velvet bruises upon her skin― she stayed with him because she said being financially stable is more important than being mentally stable. I guess the apple never does fall too far from the tree, does it mother?

It’s not that I don’t love you, It’s just that I do.

—  please understand that I’m afraid of loving you
You cry and you cry until you think you can’t cry anymore.
Then you cry some more.
—  The Normal Heart
I often imagine our world as a pottery wheel and people as clay. No matter how the world spins, it makes the soft people hard and the weak people delicate. It’s up to you whether you call that art.
— 

Pottery Wheel World (K.P.K)

“Life is funny isn’t it? Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, just when you finally begin to plan something, get excited about something, and feel like you know what direction you’re heading in, the paths change, the signs change, the wind blows the other way, north is suddenly south, and east is west, and you’re lost. It is so easy to lose your way, to lose direction.

Cuộc đời buồn cười thật đấy nhỉ? Ngay khi bạn nghĩ bạn đã thông suốt về mọi thứ, ngay khi bạn cuối cùng cũng đã bắt đầu lên kế hoạch cho việc gì đó, ham thích nó và cảm thấy như bạn biết mình đang đi về đâu, thì con đường đột ngột đổi hướng, các dấu hiệu thay đổi, cơn gió thổi đi chiều khác, phía Bắc bỗng dưng thành phía Nam, phía Đông thành phía Tây và bạn lạc lối. Thật dễ lạc đường, thật dễ mất phương hướng.”

● Love, Rosie - Cecelia Ahern

●  Facebook: Tu Es Mon Lilas