Underrated 4E-Original D&D Monsters!

While Dungeons and Dragons 4th Edition had many flaws when it came to integrating narrative and gameplay; on some pretty fundamental levels; one advantage of the system was that the simplified monster-creation allowed for a dickton of really interesting brand-new monsters to appear in a small space.

Sadly, due to both a lack of art for many of them and a fundamentally fluff-lite narrative approach for most of its run, almost nobody remembers them.

And that’s what we’re here to talk about today, with the name, a brief description, and the book they come from! So, in no particular order:

Banderhobbs- A horrible vore-frog that lives in the plane of Shadows. They take people away to work in their horrible shadow-mines until they turn into more Banderhobbs! [Monster Manual 3, tho they did come back in 5e’s Volo’s Guide]

Dreambreath Dracoliches- Dragon liches who root their immortality in the plane of Dreams and generally look like something that should be painted on the side of a van [Draconomicon: Chromatics]

Star Spawn- Horrible eldritch monster-avatars of the Stars, summoned by a giant planet that got fucked up by spending too long in the Cthulhu-dimension passing in front of them. They have stats so you can fight the giant planet. [Monster Manuals 2 & 3]

Filth Hags- A type of hag who always comes accompanied by a son she made out of poop. Yes I know they just give it as nonspecific “filth,” but we all know it’s poop [The Book of Vile Darkness. Yes there was a 4e version.]

Accipitridae- A centipede-thing made of grave-dirt and bone, part of a series of undead monsters created from grave-detritus known as Dethritus. There is also the Offalian who is a snake-thing made out of guts. [Open Grave]

Voracia- A giant starfish that eats fairies. Made as one of the edition’s Abominations; giant living weapons designed to fight in the war between the Gods and the jotun-like elemental Primordials. [The Plane Above]

Astral Renders- Another abomination, this giant silver/gold blob monster that doesn’t just eat flesh, but also the barriers between dimensions. To teleport.  [The Plane Above]

Bonewretch Skeletons- Literal dead-baby skeletons [Open Grave]

Orium Dragons- Metallic dragons obsessed with ancient civilizations, their history and lore, and with an obsession with bringing said ancient civilizations back. They breathe acid which turns into snake-vapor monsters. Which then stay around to keep attacking you. [Draconomicon: Metallic Dragons]

Apocalypse Spells- The remnants of apocalyptically deadly/powerful spells that have gained sentience, like shards of the chains of a trapped god or colorless fire from a massive war-ending spell [Monster Manual 3]

Larval Snipers/Larval Assassins/Larval Warmasters- Variants on the basic worm-that-walks monster including snipers made of wasps, assassins made of centipedes, and warlords made of beetles [Open Grave]

Chillfire Destroyers- 4e had this thing where they condensed the Elemental Planes into one big Elemental Chaos, and one of the byproducts of that was that all the elementals (at least at first) were combinations of elements. The Chillfire Destroyer; which is literally an elemental made of ice with fire inside; was one of the cooler; more iconic (In my eyes at least) manifestations of the idea. [Monster Manual 2]

Dragonscale Sloughs- Piles of dead skin and shed scales from dragons that’ve come to undead life. The dragon doesn’t even have to be dead for it to happen, as it mentions they tend to form naturally in the lairs of elder dragons [Open Grave]

Consumptive Swarm- A “demon” that’s actually a swarm of Slaad/chaos-frog larvae mutated into demons by the energy from shard of evil that formed The Abyss (Basically Chaotic Evil Hell). There’s also versions for Efreet and Djinn and a weird thing called a Writhing Crag supposedly made from Ropers and Xorn with a great design and the ability to embed you in stone. [The Plane Below]

Unrisen- People who came back very, very wrong after a Raise Dead spell. You know Pet Sematery? It’s basically Pet Sematery. [Open Grave]

Swarmtongue Worms- While the old gold-coin-mimicking Hoard Scarab came back, they also added another parasite for draconic hordes, grotesque stomachlike wormy-tongued parasites the size of a dwarf. They come in multi-headed versions called Swarmtongue Hydras and are implied to be either relatives of Carrion Crawlers or the result of what happens when the parasites feeding on a dead dragon’s body get bathed in energy from the Cthulhu dimension [Draconomicon: Chromatic]

Dragonclaw Swarms- An “advanced” version of the Crawling Claw enemy that is literally hundreds of severed dragon feet coming to attack you. D&D is silly sometimes [Open Grave]

Quom- Bald-headed two-faced people who were pretty chill until their goddess got exploded by the God/Primordial war. Now they’re searching for all the shards of their Goddess, which is a problem given how many of those have wormed their way into magic weapons or sometimes even people. [The PlaneAbove]

Flesh Cults- One of the coolest new ideas that got only one entry, they’re basically a cult not dedicated to immortality like most undead cults but rather to ˆephemerality, being in the here and the now and that everything ends eventually, with their rituals giving themselves regeneration that makes too much flesh, with it being described as a “perpetual cascade of flesh and organs,” which they then use as weapons and reanimate as temporary quickly-decaying undead servants. Because waste not want not I suppose [Open Grave]

Oubliviae- A new demon lord who looks bland at first, basically a pretty lady with an HR Geiger-armor-body, but her backstory is fascinating. Basically she is the lord of the end of all civilizations; with her layer made from a platonic “perfect” city that she ruined to turn into a reflection of the ruins of every civilization there ever was or will be; and she’s implied to come directly from the Shard of Evil at the heart of the Abyss rather than just being mutated Primordials/other creatures like the rest of the Demon Lords [Demonomicon]

Solkara- One of the few Primordials statted up that isn’t an Elder Elemental Evil with a new coat of paint, she’s suitably honked-up looking; given she’s a humanoid eel-monster with amongst other things three arms attached to two torsos connected at the shoulder and hips, which have two necks that connect to a singular four-eyestalked head. She’s stuck in an iceberg and really, really wants out. [The Plane Below]

This probably isn’t near all of them, so if I missed some, please tell me!

Man I ‘d love to see @bogleech do an article on some of these…

@3tznius5this​ Here’s a list of texts on the Armenian Genocide. It’s not what I study so these are just what I’ve read on my own, I’m sure I’m missing some important ones.

  • Suny, Ronald G. “They Can Live in the Desert but Nowhere Else”: A History of the Armenian Genocide. Princeton, N.J.: Princeton University Press, 2017.
  • Suny, Ronald G., Fatma Müge Göçek, and Norman M. Naimark, ed., A Question of Genocide: Armenians and Turks at the End of the Ottoman Empire. New York, N.Y.: Oxford University Press, 2011.
  • Dadrian, Vahakn N. The History of the Armenian Genocide: Ethnic Conflict from the Balkans to Anatolia to the Caucasus. Oxford, N.Y.:  Berghahn Books, 2003.
  • Kieser, Hans-Lukas, and Dominik J. Schaller, ed., Der Völkermord an den Armeniern und die Shoah. Zurich, Chronos Verglag: 2002. [It’s a German text, but even if you can’t read German, there are still several really great chapters in English, specifically comparative analysis between the Shoah and the Armenian Genocide.]
  • Akçam, Taner. The Young Turks’ Crime Against Humanity: The Armenian Genocide and Ethnic Cleansing in the Ottoman Empire. Princeton, N.J.: Princeton University Press, 2012.
  • Akçam, Taner. From Empire to Republic: Turkish Nationalism and the Armenian Genocide. London: Zed Books, 2004.
  • Kevorkian, Raymond. The Armenian Genocide: A Complete History. London: I.B. Tauris, 2011.

Our resident Hayastan expert @quoms probably has more?

Yo, whatever anon wrote in to defend tank club’s honor against my “self-righteousness”… yeah, okay, you’re on to something, looking back that “is hilarious” does sound pretty condescending. Maybe “is interesting” would be better but that’d still sound condescending in a “oh, look at ~this~” way. I think the way that people align around totalizing, universal ideologies in response to the specifics of early 20th century Eastern Europe really is interesting and important though.

Which is to say I didn’t want that to come off as rooting for a side and hooting the other, sorry. So what position do I want to come off with?

The “Wilsonian” solution to the “nationalities problem”, widely applied post-WWI - form states around ethnolinguistic blocs where they stand, even though it’s all just gradients, maybe cheat a bit because the result makes no economic, military, or geopolitical sense, then firmly remind everyone to be tolerant and war is illegal - was a clear failure.

And the Yalta approach, widely applied post-WWII - drawing lines in a way that made sense and comported with the relative strength of power players and then shifting homogenized populations to fit - well, it worked, didn’t it?

Not like that resolves anything.

Following WWI, Armenia formed along the “Yalta” model in a catastrophically traumatic process, I’m sympathetic to anyone who cares for Armenian people having an aversion to this.

Following WWI, Poland formed along the “Wilsonian” model with catastrophically traumatic results, I’m sympathetic to anyone who cares for Polish people having an aversion to this.

For people committed to socialism to come down on either side of this in alignment with those sympathies isn’t… wrong, but the way that shatters unity is pretty interesting. (And on occasion hilarious, when people talk at each other in the same voice of totalizing universalism.)

(And the dream of non-programmatic spirit of socialism that understands, aligns, and improves the people and land incidentally wherever they are now while rejecting the false promise of nationalism? Which I think is being deployed as a way to transcend all of this?

I’ve said in private message to quoms but I’ll repeat here since you’re curious - even assuming the can opener, reject all you want, but if the totalizing ideologies of great power blocs could still get experienced as various nationalisms, the chance that this wouldn’t strikes me as nil.  At best a wiping of the slate, a reset to day zero, a new Golden Age that will itself get invoked in future palingenetic promises and irredentist claims.)

Finally, if you’re telling me I’ve got some weird followers, God, I know. Try to be a good influence. If there’s anywhere I’ve got cause for self-righteousness it’s sure as fuck not maintaining the purest cordon sanitaire. You know this account only really got active under influence of the great witch Monetizeyourcat?


Edmond: “You pronounce it ’ Fantastic’. As in ’ You are fantastic’." 

Quom: ”Faaaahhnnnntttiiisss…hmm" 

Edmond: “ Are you listening? Quo-”


My OC Edmond with godlingofmischief ’s OC Quom.

Our bbs. Happy birthday you. <3 


Art is mine: Please do not re-post; reblogs are appreciated. Please do not use this image without my permission.


einayim  asked:

Sorry if someone (or like twenty different someones) has told you this already (or you already know), but the original audio post (and lyrics up to DankDropper) are by tumblr user whatwouldsaulalinslydo— the rest is by quoms

noted, the original audio post I think had no lyrics. major downside of the digital age is no liner notes. major upside obv is cannabis drone startups that you pay with bitcoin and are celebrated in song