quncy

My dear lgbt+ children, 

Here’s a list with some gender neutral names: 

Alex, Ari, Ash 

Andy, Ashley, Angel 

Brett, Billy, Blaine

Charlie, Caden, Cary

Chris, Clay, Corey

Drew, Daren, Dylan 

Emery, Ellery, Erin

Eddie, Eli, Erriot 

Frances, Frankie, Fabian 

Glen, Gray, Gavi 

Hayden, Hayley, Hunter 

Ira, Izzy, Indigo  

Jaime, Jean, Jesse

Jordan, Jules, Jael 

Kaden, Kel, Kim 

Kerry, Kyle. Kai 

Lake, Logan, Lee 

Max, Morgan, Mel 

Michelle, Mischa, Mica 

Noel, Nico, Nick(y) 

Ode, Oakl(ey), Onxy 

Oli, October, Ohio

Pat, Pax, Pepper 

Perry,  Parker, Percy

Quinn, Quncie, Quarry 

Rain, Rory, Ray 

Sage, Shane, Sky 

Sam, Sydney, Sasha 

Tay, Tyler, Taylor 

 Tony, Taye, Terry 

Umber, Unique, Utah

Vivian, Vale, Valentine 

Win, West, Wynne 

Xen, Xe, Xay 

Yael, Yoshie, Yule

Zen, Zuri, Zane 

(Know that different countries sometimes assign a different gender to one and the same name. For example, Michelle is a strongly female name in germany while it’s not considered feminine in others countries. It’s possible that some of those names are gendered in your country.) 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Mum 

4

Dying comedian Quncy Jones’ comedy special will air on HBO, with help from Ellen

Comedian Quincy Jones has terminal cancer. Thinking about what he wanted to do with his final days, he made his dream an HBO special. His Kickstarter funding page passed its goal 10 times over, with Ellen DeGeneres and Shutterfly contributing $25,000. On Tuesday, Ellen announced HBO will air the special — and even more funding is coming Jones’ way.

Halibel drunk texts


As requested by anon. :)


Hello and welcome (back) to Bleach Lists! Kicking off my return is a list about what sorts of texts Halibel would send if she were super drunk and had her phone.

[Need some more drunk texts? It’s a series!]


1. To Ichigo

u know what i love about u?

the way you rescue everyone


2. To Ichigo

even maybe former allies of aizen who are in quicny prison


3. To Ichigo

just wasting away.in quncy prison. alone


4. To Ichigo

you were in quincy prison once. well a ball. which somehow stopped you. so u know how it sucks


5. To Ichigo

WHAT DO YOU MEAN “WHO IS THIS”????


6. To Ichigo

wow just b/c we never spoke u think u don’t have to rescue me

rude. gonna rescue myself just to spite you


7. To Nelliel

do u ever think it’s werid that the #3 espada is always a woman

no other espada. just that one espada. the number 3 one


8. To Nelliel

it’s like aizen has a quota of one


9. To Nelliel

3 is the best number tho so we have that going for us


10. To Apacci, Mila Rose and Sung-Sun

you three. beautiful cinnomon rolls. too pure for this world


11. To Apacci, Mila Rose, and Sung-Sun

i hope u know that i would never happily sacrifice my beautiful cinnamen rolls


12. To Apacci, Mila Rose, and Sung-Sun

i hope you guys fight b/c you love each other


13. To Hiyori

do you fight with people b/c you love them? like the tiny silver haired captain i sensed that you liked him and so you yelled with the yelling of love


14. To Hiyori

plz don’t yell at me i am not looking for a relationship


15. To Hitsugaya

do YOU yell out of love?


16. To Hitsugaya

you say “out of anger” but what i hear is “out of love”


17. To Hitsugaya

i have very angry fracciones. i just need to be reassured that they secretly love each other and are not in fact filled with the frothing rage of hate all the time


18. To Hitsugaya

thank you. that is all i wanted to hear. i hope things go well with your pigtailed love


19. To Hitsugaya

and i thought we were bonding


20. To Nnoitra

you say you attacked nel b/c a woman was above you and that offended your brain

yet you leave me alone

i call shenanimgans 


21. To Nnoitra

shevmiamgins


22. To Nnoitra

shenanigamiwsoseawr


23. To Nnoitra

u know what i mean


24. To Gin

remember the time i hit you in the face with water? that was the best time


25. To Grimmjow

u know working for urahara is a lot like working for aizen yeah?

it’s maybe time to admit you love shinigami


26. To Grimmjow

like you put on a shirt for them? wow


27. To Grimmjow

i didn’t know you owned a shirt


28. To Barragan

it must have killed you. Being #2


29. To Barragan

When #3 is so much better


30. To Starrk

real talk tho you and i were aizen’s best employees

and then you died and aizen stabbed me

so like really he was just a bad boss


31. To Aizen

but why did you stab me tho


32. To Aizen

of all the ways to end my fight that makes the least sense


33. To Aizen

but i know u were bored

WELL I BET YOU’RE PRETTY BORED IN PRISON HUH


34. To Aizen

THEY LET YOU OUT????????????


35. To Aizen

i will not lie i am feeling sort of underappreciated here

Orihime drunk texts


As requested by anon. :)


Well, folks, this is a momentous list! It’s the last of my weekly series lists, which have been going on for, well, years. But now that I’m only writing a couple lists a week, series don’t work so well. So after this, I’ll just pull lists from my main list queue twice a week. I still have 38 lists to go, so it’ll still be some months before I can open up my ask box to requests again. Stay with me!

But for now, let’s imagine what sort of texts Orihime might send while drunk!


1. To Tatsuki

Tatsukichan I’m drunk! So I’m gonna go tell everybody all the things I actallyl want to say! 


2. To Tatsuki

is that a good idea tho?


3. To Tatsuki

ur so supportive!!!! <3


4. To Tatsuki

so 2 u: ur my best friend and ur really cool and u literally changed my life and ur pretty much the best perseon ever and i love u a lot


5. To Tatsuki

well yeh i also say that not drunk too but still


6. To Ishida

u infiltrated the quncy by dressing like them


7. To Ishida

that was totally my plan from soul society! remember when we dressed as shinigami which was my plan


8. To Ishida

my plan was so great you used it again! 


9. To Ishida

I’m awesome! ~***


10. To Matsumoto

u tackling me naked is still the most physical relationshp iv’e ever had am i broken


11. To Matsumoto

ur so sweet u always know what to say


12. To Ulquiorra

b/c u died there’s something i never got to say to u


13. To Ulquiorra

which is this: u and ishida should be sewing buddies!!!!!


14. To Ulquiorra

u and ishida could make such cute dresses for kuchikisan and shirts for sado and maybe go into business together making cute clothes for people (ur shop would be called Sewing Heart) and there would be a bakery on one side hwich would be mine and a vet for cute animals on the other side which would be sado’s and we’d all meet up for lunch weekly and we’d all be happy


15. To Chad

u’d open up a vet for tiny cute animals next to ishda and ulquiorra’s Sewing Heart right?


16. To Chad

why not?


17. To Chad

oh fair enough. a vet for ALL animals regardless of size


18. To Chad

u get me so well!


19. To Ichigo

i hope we never stop going on adventures together


20. To Ichigo

but maybe after this our adventures could be more ‘try all the donuts in that donut shop’ and less ‘keep almost dying’


21. To Ichigo

really?? you’d be up for donut adventures? okay let’s make that the plan!!!!


22. To Riruka

Riruka!!!! would you feel like i was cheating on u if i had donuts with some body else???


23. To Riruka

ur so nice i like that u pretended to yell so that i wouldn’t feel guilty


24. To Riruka

ur a realy nice pereson


25. To Nelliel

u know ur really smart and wise and i’m so glad ur back with us


26. To Grimmjow

i’m so glad ur our friend now


27. To Grimmjow

u sure like pretend yelling too! u and riruka should be friends


28. To Grimmjow

U AND RIRUKA SHOULD OPEN A DONUT / EYE SHADOW SHOP NEXT TO MY BAKERY THAT WOULD BE PERF


29. To Grimmjow

what?


30. To Rukia

kuchiki-san i have to confess something to u and i’m sorry it’s taken me so long but now i have to tell it to u bc of drunk


31. To Rukia

i confess that i am sometimes jealous of u


32. To Rukia

i’m really sorry plz don’t hate me


33. To Rukia

wait for real u are sometimes jealous of me too? why


34. To Rukia

that’s so sweet of u to say! i think UR awesome


35. To Rukia

drunk confessins are def the best

Top 10 people Urahara has pissed off


As requested by anon. :)


Urahara is a guy who gets things done. But not everybody is…happy about the way Urahara does things. So let’s just take a moment to consider the top 10 people that Urahara pisses off the most!


#10: Anyone who delivers

Urahara isn’t much of a tipper.

Urahara: Sorry! I’m unfamiliar with your human money. How much is a nickle again?

Delivery dude: Sir I’ve been delivering here for 8 months now….


#9: The patent office

Urahara is good at inventing. But the poor officials of Japan’s Patent Office do not look forward to his submissions…

Patent official #1: It’s that guy again.

Patent official #2: Oh no! Not blow-up “not-a-sex-doll” doll guy again!

Patent official #1: What do you think? Straight into the decontamination chamber?

Patent official #2: Sure. I’ll evacuate the building.

Patent official #2: Freakin’ Urahara Kisuke!


#8: Tessai

I’m just thinking that Urahara must be difficult to live with, sometimes.

Tessai: Um….Urahara? Why is our basement filled with chocolate pudding?

Urahara: Huh?

Urahara: Oh shit I left the chocolate pudding maker on!

Tessai:

Tessai: Happy place…happy place….


#7: Hiyori

Hard to tell how angry Hiyori actually is, because “pissed off” is sort of her base state. But she was pretty angry there for a while, at any rate!

Urahara: Yes, it took me a long time to win her over!

Hiyori: You didn’t win me over. It just got boring to punch you.

Shinji: …suddenly I have hope.


#6: The Quincy

All those yummy bankai, ruined by Urahara’s hollow pills.

Yhwach: S'ok. We expected that.

Cang Du: Um….speak for yourself. I was killed because of that!

Yhwach: Sucks to be you.


#5: Ikkaku

I mean….all I’m saying is that everybody who has a bankai got a hollow pill? That must have been so incredibly awkward for Ikkaku!

Squad 11 guys:

Ikkaku: Um….obviously I’m receiving this pill in my captain’s stead.

Yumichika: Obviously.


#4: Rukia

Rukia has had so many bad experiences with Urahara, from faulty merchandise to him trying to hide the hogyoku inside her body by turning her into a human without telling her. ….Actually, Rukia seems strangely not-pissed about all of that.

Rukia: I’m a forgiving woman.

Urahara: WHO FILLED MY HAT WITH CLAM CHOWDER?!

Rukia: ….most of the time.

 
#3: Kurotsuchi

It’s not entirely clear why Kurotsuchi hates Urahara. Is it because Urahara was his jailer for so long? Does he feel threatened by Urahara? Was Urahara just a really crappy captain? All we know is that when Ichigo compared Kurotsuchi to Urahara, Kurotsuchi seriously considered keeping Ichigo trapped in the garganta forever. Ichigo who was on the way to defeat Aizen, I mean.

Ichigo: Whoa. So you almost let the universe be destroyed because I compared you to Urahara?

Ichigo: That’s so intense!

Ichigo: Reminds me of Urahara!

Kurotsuchi:

Kurotsuchi: Don’t think I won’t poison you after this Quncy business is dealt with, Kurosaki.


#2: Aizen

No one else made Aizen scream his head off. Not to mention his not-so-subtle words, “URAHARA KISUKE, I DESPISE YOU!”

Urahara: But ‘despise’ in a good way, right?

Aizen: …there is no good way to despise somebody.

Urahara: Really? I thought maybe it was like how 'bad’ and 'wicked’ can be used to mean 'cool.’

Urahara: You know - “I DESPISE (*wink*) YOU!”

Aizen: THERE WAS NO WINKING

Urahara: Well excuse me for being an optimist.


#1: Soi Fon

Soi Fon is - and always be - Urahara’s #1 critic. Her anger is so much scarier than Aizen’s too. Because of course Aizen despises the guy who implanted a kido bomb in his body. Shouting was motivated there. But locking your nominal ally up in a kido box for a month? For something that happened 100 years ago? That’s some hardcore anger.

Soi Fon: It is not called the Punishment Squad because we forgive or forget.