Despite all, I find truly interesting just how much a trauma can change someone.
Up to when I was 8, I used to take inumerous selfies with all my toys. People had to beg me to stand still for more than a minute and I vaguely remember to be a loud, energetic and happy child. Just a few years ago, the resemblance I had to that past was close to none.
Don’t get me wrong though - I wouldn’t change anything even if I could, and I’m not the type of person who holds grudges against others. But it gets really bothersome when people who knew you from before come to you and ask “What happened?” in such an accusatory, sad tone.
Everyone goes through shit at some point. People change. Trauma fucks them up. But none of that makes them less valid and if anything, your question is likely to make them feel guilty for absolutely no reason at all. It’s not their fault. You can’t talk like they’re to blame, or say they should change for “a greater good” because to you they were “better” before, especially if such a long time has already passed.
Remember that, please.