UO: Liam needs to calm it with the quiff bc he's starting to channel SJP (I'm sorry I just can't get over how long his face is looking these days T_T, he's still wonderful tho) (also can I direct this to @mcqdj? Their recent posts have me thinking about this lol 😂)
Anon, I hate quiffs. On any of them. Haaaate them.
Let me tell you the story of Niam- let me tell you the story of versatile Niam, because I ship this pair as versatile. I generally gauge their relationships by Liam's hair. Because Liam's hair corresponds with stages of his life. So first: floppy muppet douchebag sk8r hair x-factor Liam: Niam wasn't sexual at this point, mainly just cuddles and Liam figuring out tactile affection and being protective of Niall who was protective of him in turn and ok I'm fine. Then, curly Liam, aka MY LIFE-
that was a time of confusion, shyness, and insecurity in Liam’s life- he was just getting the handle of things, he was inexperienced, so Niall topped exclusively;
Liam didn’t have the confidence to explore what he wanted, so he let Niall lead, and Niall was happy to just fuck him. Then came the dreaded bowlcut:
Liam started to loosen up (not just from Niall’s cock) and get more comfortable in his skin. He started to shyly and meekly explore himself in bed, and asked to top a couple of times; Niall of course was unsure- he had never bottomed, but was overjoyed that Liam wanted to try new things, as their love life was getting kind of boring. And as Liam’s hair grew longer and swoopier and more heart-throb-y,
he gained more confidence, and he became more casual in bed- Niam became more even as this time progressed, until the quiff- the actual honest to god boyband quiff:
Liam started to explore his latent dominant side, and started to top more and more, and Niall started loving bottoming more and more, so he didn’t think much of Liam’s newfound macho alpha male fucking machine thing. But then Liam shaved off his hair (no Peazer in this world so insert tragedy here) and Liam immediately reverted into his submissive shell again,
but Niall fucked and dommed him through it, until Liam started to gain his confidence again, in a similar process to earlier, where the longer time went on, and the longer his hair got, the more he wanted to top. Then fauxhawk Liam, who was just as if not more dominant than quiffy Liam.
He made Niall his bitch during the summer of 2013, and Niall went along for the ride, because Niall is super chill and just loves sex. He’s truly 50/50 versatile. And then on the last leg of tour, Liam started to calm down a bit and make the relationship more vers again, which Niall appreciated, until they went on break and he missed Niall and so many stalkers and controversies and Liam collapsed again,
so Niall fucked him through that too, until we’re where we are (get it?) now, with Liam being happy and giggly and loving life and these two studs just take turns annihilating each other, and they’re both perfectly happy fulfilling both roles. They’re not the couple that “shares the burden of bottoming for each other”. They truly enjoy it both ways. Niall may be more stable in his versatility (Liam fluctuates from alpha male top to size queen bottom boy like whoa) but it’s completely equal. They love it all. The end. Niam!!! <3
NONNIE THIS ABSOLUTELY /MADE/ MY MORNING I HOPE YOU DON’T MIND ME TAKING THE TIME TO ILLUSTRATE THE STAGES OF HAIR/BOTTOMING PREFERENCES ACCORDINGLY WITH THE PICS I INSERTED (LOL) IN YOUR TALE OF HAIR AND GREAT SEX AND NIAM, LSKDDSLJGSLKG THIS IS HILARIOUS AND WONDERFUL AND YOU ARE A RARE GEM :DDDDD NIAM!!!!