i guess in more positive news, domestic life w/ my gf is seriously my favorite thing right now….my heart soared while i was building a new coat rack while sitting on my couch and watchin tv….nest building is the Shit and i’m excited for her to get home

we still have soooo many things in boxes and THAT part of things makes me anxious but…there’s time. even abled folks don’t get moved in that quickly when they’re working so i shouldn’t beat myself up too much, since it hasn’t even been a month yet…

today’s been poopy shit doodoo butts bc i feel like ass (bad decisions spoon wise yesterday but! that’s what i get for hanging out w/ folks who don’t respect my limits and don’t want me carrying my mobility aids around them bc it’s “embarassing” !!!) and am also just like. Vaguely Sad and unable to do any work which makes the sad spiral into Sad and Useless

i was hoping on friday to do some self care shit but Nah, and then today i was too tired for self care Or work (i wish so badly abled ppl understood that like. some days i have to work up energy for 2 hours to go to my bathroom and brush my teeth, and sometimes even SHOWERING is impossible) 

but. at least ali gets home here shortly and we can eat together and maybe watch some anime or smth good. there’s always tomorrow, just wish the weekends weren’t so short and that work wasn’t so taxing lately. :C

just woke up from a stress dream about college stuff–essentially someone i’m not very close to asking me to go on some trip with them for research for their BFA with the PROMISE that there would be drama there with some other folks she knows, and that i wouldn’t be allowed to take my cane with me bc hiking??? and it would creep folks out??? 

do any fellow mobility aid users have stress dreams where like. you are either without that aid and struggling or being told you won’t be allowed to use it or is that me?

j4ckwynand  asked:

Re: cane usage--not yet! I mostly have internal stuff at present like I constantly feel like a fraud bc I don't Need it much of the time it's mostly preventive for getting slammed with fatigue later & I feel worried and guilty every time I pick it up off the floor so I can use both hands or carry it a few steps bc I lost my rhythm or god forbid switch sides. But I've been lucky enough not to get a bunch of actual external shit as yet.

since this got kind of long i’m putting it under a cut for folks who might not wanna hear Cane Stories lmao

Keep reading

so i love tuna in all forms, and they have those little build yr own tuna salad things at my work’s cafeteria. if it’s a bad pain day especially (tho it’s a common problem in general) my hands shake like a motherfucker and so while making the tuna salad and getting the tuna out of the lil envelope packet thingie my hands are just going Very nuts

basically any time i eat the things i feel like that scene in district 9 where wikus is shakily eating cat food. and that’s the whole point of this story