so like ur such a master when it comes to the build up in writing! as a person who tends to write the most exciting bits first(then struggles with writing the lulls & buildup inbetween) I had to take a pause to appreciate the moment when Anton tells jack that Pitch danced. Like that line was such a stark contrast to the pitch introduced to us, and thats what made it have such a successful & emotional impact, to even tend to the idea that this cranky bastard Pitch danced with the man he loved
and that he used to be sooo different than he is now, was painful. So
like, im probably totally overthinking this one line but it was amazing
and ur an excellent artist of words!
You’re definitely not overthinking things with Pitch, imho. His grief and his loss has been like…laid throughout this fic, and I think it will be more visible for some upon a reread. Even from the very very first chapter, where Pitch is disgusted with Jack for breaking ranks to try and help everyone (it jarringly reminded Pitch of Fyodor).
This Pitch is kind of a hollowed out version of who he used to be. And he comports himself so well, and with so much authority, that it’s easy for a lot of people (including Jack) to miss that. But people like Anton and Eva know, as does Seraphina (and definitely the Tsar). The Guardians also remember who Pitch *used* to be, and have all but given up on him. Except for North. North is always ready to welcome Pitch back.
I mean this is partly a kind of Beauty and the Beast story (with Pitch as the Beast, lol). Pitch needs to make a choice between living a life bleached of hope, and one that dares to allow hope in it again, even if that hurts. And that’s why we have Jack. :)
(Also, I can relate to writing the most exciting things first though, I used to do this all the time, and one of my biggest critiques from editors used to be ‘you reveal too much too soon’ lol. I can still do it! Partly because I almost want to get that stuff out of the way so I can focus on the emotional recovery, vs. holding the huge bits until the end, and the story becomes more about the mystery.)
(What I’d say to that though is you can definitely make stories work by putting the exciting bits first, because a) it opens up the road to more exciting bits in the future and b) the lulls and build-ups can be exciting too in a way, if you focus on character and stuff, I mean everyone writes differently for sure, but have faith in how you’re writing. <3 Like, your writing will evolve the more you do it, and I bet you’re revealing more after the exciting bits without even realising a lot of the time :D ).