queue under the mountain

I love and hate how the smallest things in real life become great fanfic AUs.
Like for the past 2 weeks, the university’s free wifi won’t connect to my phone. I’m complaining to someone, and I’m like, “I’ll just go to IT and yell until they fix it.”
And bam.
It hits me.
I mean, wouldn’t this make the most hilarious, amazing, cutest, dorkiest AU?
Yes, my shipper trash brain insists. Yes, of course it would.
Because Bilbo is beyond technologically inept, and he struts into the IT department, staring at his device and yelling abuses at it.
And there’s Thorin, all socially awkward and cursing the (already minuscule) amount of human interaction his new job requires. Just give him a hunk of metal and a room alone, and he’ll be good for hours.
But then in walks Bilbo, who is immediately alluring (especially with in spite of the steam of almost-foul language he’s currently expelling) and Thorin’s reduced to grunts and scowls as he slips on his glasses to take a look.
The problem is ridiculously simple - Bilbo just wants to connect to the wifi (a name which confuses Bilbo considerably), but Thorin finds himself proclaiming there’s a virus, and if Bilbo takes it anywhere else they’ll charge him a fortune, but it’s free here, so…
Thorin panics for a second when Bilbo begins asking questions, but Thorin just throws around some random, nonsensical computer software jargon, and Bilbo’s nose scrunches up in confusion, and oh Mahal, Thorin’s got it bad.

10

The silent farewell is, for me, even more beautiful than the kiss.
Ah, all the love and regret… *clutches heart and sobs forever*