Feel Free :3

1. Any scars? (Yeap, a lot)
2. Self harmed? (nah)
3. Crush? (A lot)
4. Kissed anyone? (Yes hihi)
5. Coke or Pepsi? (Coke)
6. Someone you hate? (My aunt)
7. Best Friends? (Macy, chesca, louis)
8. Have you ever done alcohol or drugs? (Just alcohol)
9. What’s you’re dream job? (To be an Architect)
10. Ever been in love? (Like every time)
11. Last time you cried? (yesterday when I was stranded in the rain)
12. Favorite color? (white)
13. Height? (5'4 and a half)
14. Birthday? (on febuary)
15. Eye color? (Dark brown)
16. Hair color? (Hazelnut brown)
17. What do you love? (I love Philosophy)
18. Obsession? (books, nerds wonka, funny shows, alcohol) 19. If you had one wish, what would it be? (I wanna have superpowers)
20. Do you love someone? (Yes, unfortunately)
21. Kiss or hug? (both)
22. Nicknames people call you? (Moya, diane)
23. Favorite song? (Don’t change - musiqsoulchild, You don’t know me)
24. Favorite band? (The XX)
25. Worst thing that has ever happened to you? (I fell asleep on classm and I woke up and I was the only one left there)
26. Best thing that has ever happened to you? (hmmn)
27. Something you would change about yourself? (Probably my feet)
28. Ever dated someone? (yes)
29. Worst mistake? (Not doing things I’ve always wanted to do)
30. Watch the movie or read the book? (yes)
31. Ever had a heartbreak? (everytime) 32. Favorite show? (The adventures of gumball, community, HIMYM, Glee)
33. Best day of your life? (SECRET)
34. Any talents? (a lot)
35. Do you wish you could ever start over? (always)
36. Any bad habits? (Hmmn)
37. Ever had a near death experience? (not quite)
38. Someone I can tell anything to? (my three closest friends)
39. Ever lost a loved one? (YES)
40. Do you believe in love? (SOMETIMES)
41. Someone you hate/Dislike? (HAHA)
42. Are you okay? (YES)
43. Relationship status? (SINGLE)

Reply to screamoutyournametothenight
Questions About Life #4

Why is it that we all care so much about what others think? I mean everyone says that they’re different and individual but if we’re searching for other’s approval so much… we aren’t really being different, only dependent. We’re being dependent on other’s approval and other’s satisfaction which doesn’t only make us unhappy but lowers our self esteem. I mean even me personally, I get so excited when I get one new follower on tumblr. My heart explodes. And the same thing happens with “friends” on facebook. Why are we all dependent on stranger’s approval? I mean I love every person that even glances at my tumblr. Not joking :).  Maybe I feel like you guys are the only ones that would ever listen to my thoughts, my feelings, how I really represent myself. But if we’re all able to express our thoughts and feelings on tumblr why don’t we just try it out in the real world? Oh yeah… REJECTION. Because on tumblr the most rejection we’ll get is a lost follower… or if you’re being creepy… blocked. But most of the time those people are strangers and you won’t have to ever see them again unless you know them from real life. In the real world, if you lose a friend you’ll see them at school or maybe even work everyday and everyone hates that feeling of seeing someone who rejected you. I guess my real question is: How do you stop that feeling of rejection and can it even be avoided?

Fate or Fiction - 1/28/2015, Wednesday

Do I deserved to be loved?  A long, long time ago, I once felt as if I didn’t deserved to be loved.  Why?  I lost my way; I did things that I knew weren’t of my own idea, but I still went along without questioning my own actions.  I despised what I had become and became fixated on my flaws.  This went on for several years until I stopped wallowing in my self-pity.  I don’t quite remember exactly what event had made me change my ways, but I suppose I had popped the bubble containing the very tiny, self-absorbed world in which I had enclosed myself.  Let’s just say that I became… ‘cultured’. :)

So all of that brings me to the topic of: Do I deserved to be loved?  I’m not too sure if I am deserving of love, but perhaps that is not the correct question to be asked.  Perhaps the questions I should be asking are: Am I ready to be loved?  Am I ready to love somebody?  Am I even capable of experiencing love (lol)?  These questions are as much of a mystery to me as the question of 'What is life after death?’.  

414 FB Friends

How do I talk to/respect 414 people?

I’ve been trying to shave it down to 400.

Because that’s a nice, even number.

And I tell everyone I’m a social misanthrope. So how am I not able to pare away these facebook friends? I don’t care about human beings in general. Only like…acquaintances and friends. And both require lots of upkeep. Especially acquaintances since they have to do most of the upkeep and I just sort of observe them at a distance.

I’m surprised at this. Maybe I’m not as much of a human-hater as I thought I was or something.



I started cleaning my room on Sunday. Taking things down, packing them away. There are only about two weeks left in the semester, and I will be moving out soon. I had this big collage of pictures on my wall. Ironically as I began to take the pictures down, I would stop and pause, take a second to remember the memory that each picture held. I took the pictures down in no particular order, there was no reasoning behind which pictures went first. I looked up and two pictures were left on my wall. In each picture I was with a friend, just me and him, ironically each was at a high school dance, one homecoming and one prom. You see these things are ironic because of a conversation I had with my best friend today, she had broken up with her boyfriend and I was trying to give some kind of useful advice. She asked me if I am still friends with one of the boys in the picture. I said yes, but then I thought about it, am I really? The two boys in the pictures are two of my best friends, one I used to up until Christmas be what you would call romantically involved with and the other, well i dont really know what we are, kind of in romantic limbo i guess. I know this seems like a rambling but to me it makes perfect sense. Those photos represented choices. I made a choice to let one of the boys in one of the photos go, and I am leaning toward the other, looking to see what will come of it. But after my conversation with my friend today, I dont know my head is jumbled. Those photos represented choices, but did I make the right one…

Questions About Life #3

Why is it that when I don’t understand a person, they think screaming will get their point across more? As if by them raising their voice I’ll hear them more clearly or completely agree with them? That’s not how it works: If I’m screamed at I’ll  block you out completely. Your words don’t mean anything anymore just your body language and tone of voice… I realize that sounds crazy: how sensitive I am but it’s true. If you want to get your point across to me directly to the point and quickly otherwise you’re a lost cause. I guess this is more of a me thing instead of a question about life huh? I guess all my simple truths are me things.