I get A LOT of questions about Iceland and what it’s like living here. So today I have decided to not answer any of the useful things I could tell you and just make a big shitpost about the Icelandic language. 🔆
Pika- Okay. So keep in mind that Pikachu in Pokémon quite commonly says pika. Like a lot. Pokémon is/was on TV here just like most other countries. Okay so, wanna know what píka means in Ielandic. Vagina. Not even kidding a little. ⚡️🐱
Bra- No, bra does not mean anything related to underwear of any kind. According to us, it’s the sound that ducks make 🦆
Hjúkrunarfræðingur- I know you’re probably thinking that this must mean something very smart and complicated. Nope. This unneccessarily long ass word just means nurse. Yep. 👩🏻⚕️
Strætóstoppistöð- another unneccasserily long word. Simply means “bus stop” 👐🏻
Leðurblökumaðurinn- In almost every country in the world Batman is just called Batman or something very similar. Yeah.. we didn’t get the note. Leðurblökumaðurinn it is. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Kind- it does not mean anything related to kindness or any other emotional expression. It means sheep. And according to us it does not tell you “baah” it says “me”. If it happens two times it makes “meme”. Isn’t that just wonderful? 🐑
Geirvarta- it means nipple. The weird thing is that it is made from two words “Geir” which is a pretty common male name here, and “varta” which means “wart”. Imagine if the word for nipple would be “JasonPimple”?! Poor Geir..
Not language related but: we have an app here where you bump your phones together to see if you are related before you have sex with someone. You may have heard this somewhere before but I am here to confirm that this is true. There are only 300.000 people in the entire country so accidental incest is very much a possibility. ⚠️
In Iceland we don’t have just one Santa, no,we have 13. And yes they bring you small gifts each of the thirteen days leading to christmas, but they also are known for stealing hot-dogs and candles, eating all your skyr (fancy yoghurt), slamming doors, and other not so bad but mildly annoying things. But their mom is a hideous troll lady that lives in the mountains and eats children. Yikes.. 🎄💀
We have at least two letters that no other country in the world uses: ð (capital Ð) and þ (capital Þ) and also other rare letters that are only used here and in other Scandinavian countries: ö (Ö) and æ (Æ).
To make the sounds of Ð and Þ put your tongue between your teeth and blow. Softly for ð and hard for Þ (should sound like Th in Thor/thing/thunder/etc)
Going to Iceland June 5th. I was hoping to do the Laugavegurinn trail; however, the road might not be open. If that is the case is it possible to do it anyway, and if so,how?
That is quite early for Laugavegurinn. Most hikers take the bus to Landmannalaugar, but the road usually only opens sometime in early to mid June. Even if you have the cash to hire a super jeep to get you there, the road might not only be impassable but closed off to prevent damage during the thaw period (muddy). If the road is open, be prepared for the first couple of days to be in snow.
You can however be sure that it is possible to get to the other end of the trail, Þórsmörk, in June. Þórsmörk by itself is a great hiking destination. You can do endless day hikes in the area and eventually cross the Fimmvörðuháls Col to Skógar.
I just had an idea. There's a thing where I'm from called bikers against child abuse, imagine Denmark being part of it and getting assigned to little toddler Icey and teenage norway. Imagine where this could go!
Bro it would be the death of nor can you imagine like
in a biker jacket?????
that boy is dead meat
not to mention what would happen when norway saw just how good denmark is with kids and how much he genuinely cares for iceland
then nor and den fall in love because i am trash (and we’re pretending that denmark is either a teenaged biker or a barely-eighteen biker or whatever) and they live happily ever after and denmark will forever be icey’s adopted big brother and he can teach him how to ride like a tricycle and omgggg imagine icey riding a trike next to den who has his big motorbike
IMAGINE DENMARK TAKING NORWAY ON A MOTORCYCLE RIDE HOLY FUCK THAT’S SO CUTE
His face was a fucking mess. Tristan could not believe he was fucking dumb enough to make that mistake.
“Stupid little gun, trying to make me blind exploding like that.” He mumbled, looking at the bruises at the mirror. He was still trying to figure out what happened. Did somebody mess with his gun to make a prank? “If this is Iceland’s doing, I gonna throw that little whore at an orphanage.” That brought another question. If Norway or Iceland or anyone in the world saw that and knew the story, he’d be the new laughing stock of the family. He could make up a lie. Like, someone threw a bomb at him. He was in a fight with an angry firefighter, or….
“Honey, you know that an orphanage will not take Ice anymore, right? I mean, he’s kind of an adult.” The swedish said with a melodic laugh, until he stopped and saw his husband’s face. “Oh my Goodness…”
It was not like Finland didn’t need some help with that situation, he just… hated looking like a weak little thing that needed protection. Also Bernard was not know for being able to keep secrets. But, at the same time, he just knew, by the expression of his face, that he’d do anything to help him. God, how he hated those adorable-stupid-looking puppy eyes.
“The gun exploded while I was testing. Pass me some medicine, would ya?” The short one rolled his eyes, being almost sqeezed to death.”
“OHMYLITTLECUTEHUSBANDI’LLTAKECAREOFYOU!!” The taller blond screamed.
“YOU COULD START BY NOT DOING THIS!!” Finland complained. They spent some time taking care of the injuries, without noticing who was there.
“Shoult we tell them that we were here the whole time?” Iceland asked.
“Nah, it will ruin their moment.” Denmark took another cigarrete.
“Should we tell them that Finland is smiling like a little lovebird?” Said Norway, matching his younger brother voice tone.