question stems

call it poetry –

the 150 patchwork characters above your instagram photos and below your profile picture; the 650 words you bled into your common app essay, baptized by midnight tears and shaky fingers on backlit keyboards; the 2 am text you sent your friend when she was sad, which read more like a love song than any top 50 hit; the scribbled words you placed among doodles and integrals on the back of your math test, the ones you almost hesitated to erase before you turned it in. 

call it art –  

that photo of your best friend laughing, even though it’s blurry and his left hand is out of frame; those pancakes, the ones the man at the other booth smirked at you for admiring before eating, laughing harshly before returning to his bitter coffee and significantly underappreciated waffles; the sunsets and sunrises that fill your photo stream, reminders that yesterday was beautiful and tomorrow might be too; the photo of yourself that you can’t decide if you quite like, but can’t delete either, your finger nervously hovering above it. post it. 

call it music –

the laughter of your friends from the other room that makes you smile, even though you missed the joke; the sound of your turn signal clicking, melting into the patter of raindrops on the windshield’s glass; the whistle of the summer wind outside of your old bedroom, the one that promised fairytales and twisters in sleepless childhood nights; the rhythm of your shoes in the empty hallway, reverberating with the sound of your arrival.

it is poetry.

it is art.

it is music. 

it is you.

"why don't you like frozen?"
  • what i mean: It's a film that, essentially suffers from an existential crisis throughout the entire two hours it runs. There's no world building whatsoever, leaving too many unanswered questions the audience in regards to the magic and lore of the land. It's inferred the trolls know everything there is to know about magic, but it does not explain how Elsa recieved her powers in the first place, leaving a pretty big unanswered question. Also, the decision to take a fantasy race usually isolated from magicks as the main sage magicians was an ...interesting choice, and would have worked out a bit better if the world was built up more. The plot is all over the place, with there being no clear antagonist until the final arc of the movie. Is the Duke of Weaselton supposed to be the antagonist? No, and he honestly doesn't even belong in the movie: in what way does this character move forward the plot? He doesn't, so why is he given such emphasis? Is Elsa supposed to be the antagonist? Through the film the audience is constantly being given conflicting views as to whether or not we are supposed to sympathsize with her or hate her, and we're never given our answer until the final arc of the movie, which is, ironically, when the real antagonist show his face: Hans. Since he is introduced as he antagonist in the final arc, it makes Hans' development as a villain feel rushed and unnatural. Such a sudden heel-face turn from charming benevolent prince to cold-blooded killer feels wrong, and considering there was no foreshadowing or dramatic irony leading up the reveal, it comes as a shock to even the most watchful moviegoers. Beyond the shock response, there is no reason for the audience to hate Hans, making him an ineffective villain all in all. The audience only hates him because he betrayed the trust that was willingly given in the first half of the film. Yes, he wants to usurp the throne and kill everyone off, but wouldn't that incentive be more effective if it were presented as such from the beginning of the movie? Give the viewers hints and clues that he is not what he seems, making the reveal of his plan much more suspenseful. Additionally, if it were addressed from the beginning, a large amount of the aimless plotless wandering that plagued most of the first three-quarters of the movie would be practically non-existant. In addition, the shock factor response wears off eventually; the impact of his betrayal means less and less to the audience each time they watch it. Part of the reason of the weakness and confusion in the beginning also stems from the fact that the movie is trying to juggle too many characters. Many named characters are completely unneeded and did not need to steal screentime (and by extension, valuble character development) from the main characters (Anna, Elsa, Kristoff, and I guess Hans). And the lack of character development is bad. Really bad. Anna doesn't feel like a real person, even by Disney standards. Elsa is a bit more believable, but her "development" is rushed and inferred instead of shown to the audience as it should be. Why was there such an emphasis on the parents in the beginning if they were only going to be killed off for plot fuel? And as an audience member, I did not feel any sadness for their death or for how Anna and Elsa were grieving. Having Elsa locked in her room for upmost of ten years was just...weird. There was absolutely nothing that justified it, making the isolation feel like a cheap way out for the writers to transition from childhood to adulthood. And beyond that, Arendelle is shown to be a peaceful kingdom, so it makes no sense that Anna would not be allowed to leave the castle and walk amongst the city. If magic exists in this world, why was Elsa locked away? Why was it a secret? All of these questions stem from weak worldbuilding that justifies very little of the events of the movie. There are so many unanswered questions that rise up from what happens inbetween childhood and adulthood. Is there a puppet monarch? Was magic seen as something negative or unknown? Why the trolls. Why the trolls. I'm sorry I just do not understand the trolls. The romantic subplot again ties into making the trolls feel even more forced and unneeded and the Hans reveal stale, I don't need to go into this. From a technically standpoint, the animation is subpar compared to its contempararies. Rise of the Guardians, a movie made a year before Frozen, had better ice effects. The particle effects and textures were nothing to write home about and the numerous clipping issues are clear evidence that the final product was rushed. The character design is the biggest complaint everyone has heard the most, but, Jesus Christ, oh my god it's bad. There's virtually no variation in character design. The facial structure of all the women are practically identical. Elsa, Anna, their mother, even Rapunzel all look 100% identical. Perhaps that wouldn't be such a problem if their body types were the same as well. There's no power of silouette in the film, something that is absolutely crucial to animated film, making Anna and Elsa blend together not only in the film, but in the industry itself. They do not stand out. They are blank and bland. The music is the only good thing, and that's only considering some songs. "Let it Go" and "First Time in Forever" are strong, powerhouse showtunes that actually move the plot forward, as songs in a musical should, but "Fixer-Upper" and "Love is an Open Door," while good, solid songs, do relatively nothing for the plot can could be omitted without sacrificing anything. "In Summer" is a total joke song that literally fades into nothing--I could not recall the tune if I tried, and "Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?" has a lot of potential but is, esentially, the same chorus repeated with little to no transition three times. It doesn't help that the song is also the most awkward contrived timeskip in the history of awkward contrived timeskips, again because it is never explained why Elsa is locked in her room at all. And the trolls and the--oh god. Please, all artists and writers, do NOT overlook the importance of worldbuilding. Even the dialogue is mediocre and does nothing to immerse the characters into the world around them. The resulting product is nothing but two hours of mediocrity masquerading as the best film of the decade in commercialization and ticket sales, but ultimately does nothing but leave a bad taste in the audience's mouth and will encourage Disney to continue making mediocre movies because they know they will sell and sell well.
  • what i say: because it's a bad movie
an everyday spring conversation

I wrote a little drabble about your Elsewhere University. I hope it does justice! (Warning: profanity).

“These poor kids are gonna be eaten alive.” Rhea flaps a hand towards the high schoolers touring campus, but her attention is focused on her packet of fruit snacks. She shakes it violently. “Dammit, I can’t get this peach unstuck.”

Ivo reaches over, plucking the gummy from the package. He pops it into his mouth. It’s a little stale, and he has to bite down hard to split it into pieces. “You’re a freshman, Rhee. You didn’t know shit when you showed up.”

Rhea brings a hand to her chest, mock-scandalized. “Wow, talking shit and stealing my fruit snacks! We’re not friends.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Ivo rolls his eyes. “You’re so melodramatic.”

“Maybe, but they really are gonna get fucked up.”

“Like you almost did? I saved your ass.” Ivo curves his lips into the lazy smirk he knows she hates. She grumbles something unintelligible, and he grins, showing off white teeth. He cups a hand to his ear. “What was that? I didn’t hear you.”

She shoves his shoulder roughly, blushing a little. “Don’t be an ass.”

Ivo throws his head back and laughs. The sun is bright. He almost can’t believe that it’s already time for the tours. If he didn’t have a semester’s worth of his organic chemistry notes laid out in front of him, he might think that the gentry were just fucking with their heads again. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

“You know, Mallory was fucking around with one of them a couple weeks ago.”

Ivo hums - not disinterested, but not fully focused. He highlights another line of text. “Was she?”

“Yeah, I heard it was real bad. You know how the damn linguistics students are.”

He lets out a soft snort. “True. Do you remember Glenn?”

Rhea throws her head back, cackling. “He fucking threw his iron rings out the window because he was horny! Like, come on. That’s some next level thirst.”

Ivo looks up from his notes, grinning. Rhea’s laugh is infectious. Despite how high maintenance watching a freshman is, that damn laugh caught him, and he was hooked. He taught her to make salt lines, to always wear iron, to buy soaps at the market down the street and to not ask what’s in them. Now she’s all grown up. Oddly, he feels rather like a parent watching their child leave the nest.

“May I sit?”

Ivo’s eyes snap up. It’s a boy, tall and willowy. He has frog eyes.

“Of course,” Ivo says, and Rhea scoots over to make space. Always be polite. The boy ignores the new space, though, and balances on the bench arm, just next to Ivo. He gives him a grin that seems to show an impossible number of teeth.

“Not to intrude on your conversation, but I rather liked Glenn,” the boy says, eyes glinting. “He was honest, and a treat while he lasted.”

“I thought he was kind of a dick,” Rhea says, flicking through sheets in her portfolio. She doesn’t seem to realize what she’s said. The gentry’s eyes narrow.

“What’s that?” he asks, significantly less pleasant. He points towards it with a long fingernail.

Rhea tugs out a sheet with sketches autumn trees on it. She doesn’t make eye contact when she passes it over Ivo to the boy. “It’s my portfolio.”

The boy brightens significantly. “Do you do people?” He inspects the drawing, holding it in different angles in the light.

“Yeah, I do.”

He turns to Rhea with a wide grin. “Will you do me?”

Without any hesitation, she pulls out a sheet of thick paper. “Do you want me to draw you in this form, or…?” She lets her question trail off. The boy’s grin grows.

“Could you do it like this?” He smiles for her, and for a sliver of a second he is incredibly inhuman, with long horns and wide eyes that are too far apart. Rhea doesn’t flinch. Instead, she summons an eraser and a set of colored pencils from practically nowhere and begins to sketch from memory. For a moment, there is peaceful silence, and Ivo highlights another phrase.

“So, who’re you?”

Ivo looks up. The question stems more from boredom than from real curiosity, but he can’t leave it unanswered. “I’m Eye.”

“I’m See. How funny!” The gentry laughs a laugh without humor. “I’ll tell you what mine’s short for if you tell me what yours is short for.”

It’s not as if it’s his real name, anyways. “I’m Ivo.”

This earns him a pleased smile. “I’m Catahecassa.”

“That’s a nice name.”

“Of course it is. I wouldn’t settle for one that wasn’t nice.”

Ivo suppresses a sigh. The fae are always so vain.

“Excited to terrorize the newbies?” Ivo asks, waving a hand at the tour group that is somehow still in the courtyard. At least four overexcited high schoolers have their hands raised.

“Hell yeah,” Catahecassa chuckles, stretching. His shoulders pop unnaturally in their sockets. “These idiots don’t even know to wear their socks inside out. It’s fun to watch them try to figure out what the fuck is happening. You know, one of them has already fallen into the time fold by the fountain. The damn swamp hag his having a free-for-all.”

“Which one?”

“The one who lives in the time fold. Duh. I hate that bitch. Her hair is a fucking wreck.”

Ah, yes. The one who lives in the time fold. Excuse Ivo for not knowing how to do fucking origami with the time-space continuum, and for not knowing every swamp hag. Goddamn.

“It can’t be as bad as that spirit who haunted the tap in the lab last year.”

Catahecassa lets out a disdainful snort. “Ugh, he was an idiot. ‘Wah, the chemistry students don’t like me!’ Newsflash, asshole. Nobody likes you.”

“He almost gave me an aneurysm when I was cleaning out flasks.”

This earns a snicker. “The only thing he was good for.” He gives Ivo an up and down, curling his lip. “Chemistry majors are scum.”

Before Ivo can say something stupid, Rhea reaches out. “I’m finished,” she says, her paper covered in colors.

Ivo can’t really see it before Catahecassa takes it, but it makes the gentry’s face truly light up. “I do look good with that kind of horns. I fucking knew it.” Without so much as a thank you, he stands and leaves, walking impossibly smoothly. Not even Heelys could make someone walk that smooth.

“Well,” Rhea says, turning to Ivo with a grin. “I’m glad he liked it.”


anonymous asked:

So I'm getting near the end of the duolingo tree and come across the sentence "Wie krijgt er jouw stem?". My question is, how come the "er" is there?. Do I need to put it in everytime? Thank you!


Thanks for sending me an ask :)

I really had to read into the use of “er”, because I can’t remember I’ve ever learned any rules for it. It’s somehow very obvious for a native Dutch speaker to know how to use it. The rules I’ve found online were extremely vague and unclear, but I’m going to try my very best to explain it properly ;)

First of all, there’re four ways in which you use “er”:

- locatief
- presentatief
- prepositioneel
- kwantitatief

So I’ll start by explaining locatief.
Locatief means you use “er” to refer to a location or place in a certain situation or context. In this case you can often replace “er” by “daar” (there) or “hier” (here). However, “er” is more neutral and less specific than “daar” or “hier”.


1. Hoe lang woont hij al in Londen? Hij woont er nu al dertig jaar.

Translation: How long has he lived in London? He has lived there for thirty years now.

🔹In this case “er” refers to London.

2. Kan ik de manager spreken? Nee, zij is er niet.

Translation: Can I speak to the manager? No, she isn’t here.

🔹In this sentence “er” refers to the location where the manager normally is.

Next I’ll explain presentatief.
Presentatief means you use “er” when the subject is non-specific or undefined. In some cases you can translate “er” with “there”.


1. Er staat een paard in the gang.

Translation: There is a horse in the hallway/ Some horse stands in the hallway.

🔹As you can see the horse itself doesn’t really matter. What matters is the horse being in the hallway. So you use “er” less specifically (it’s just some horse).

2. Wie krijgt er jouw stem?

Translation: Who will get your vote?

3. Komen (to come) er vanavond veel mensen?

Translation: Are there going to be a lot of people tonight?

🔹If the sentence starts with an interrogative pronoun (wie, wat, waar, wanneer, hoe, waarom) and the subject is non-specific or undefined you often use “er”. You also use “er” in many other questions. It is mandatory to use it when there’s no direct object in the sentence. In sentence 2 you don’t necessarily have to use “er”, because the verb “krijgt” says something about “jouw stem” (direct object). In sentence 3 you do have to use “er”, because there’s no direct object (the verb “komen” doesn’t say anything about a certain part of the sentence).

4. Er ligt daar iemand te slapen.

Translation: There’s someone sleeping over there.

🔹This one is very similar to example 1. It doesn’t matter who this someone is. What does matter is that he’s sleeping over there.

5. Er wordt beweerd dat koeien hun eigen melk drinken.

Translation: It is said that cows drink their own milk.

🔹In passive voice constructions, like this sentence, you can either use “er” or “het”(it).

Prepositioneel means you can combine “er” with a preposition. Common prepositions combined with “er” are: erin, ervoor, erachter, ernaar, erom, ervan, erop, etc.


1. Toen de kat het aanrecht zag, sprong hij erop.

Translation: The moment the cat saw the kitchen counter, he jumped on it.

🔹"Er" is used to refer to the kitchen counter and the meaning of “op” is on.

2. Ik had zin in het feest, maar ik kan er helaas niet bij zijn.

Translation: I was looking forward to the party, but unfortunately I can’t come.

🔹"Er" refers to the party and “bij” means to be at (in this specific phrase).

Kwantitatief refers to the use of “er” in sentences that indicate a certain amount/number of things/people.


1. Hoeveel kinderen hebben zij? Ze hebben er vijf.

Translation: How many children do they have? They have five.

🔹"Er" refers to the children.

2. Hoeveel cactussen heb jij? Ik heb er geen.

Translation: How many cactuses do you have? I have none.

🔹"Er" refers to the cactuses.

If you have any other questions feel free to ask them :)

Yahoo’s Day With the 7th Graders of Chaboya Middle School

By Andrew Schulte, Chief of Staff to the CEO, Yahoo

A few weeks ago, we received nearly two dozen handwritten letters from 7th grade students at Chaboya Middle School in San Jose, all addressed to Marissa Mayer. These incredibly thoughtful and inquisitive letters penned questions about leadership, STEM, being a female CEO, the future of tech and general advice on working for a company like Yahoo. These letters touched and inspired Marissa and the team here, so what better way to answer their questions than a field trip to Yahoo headquarters!

We kicked off the day with an assembly that included an engaging Q&A discussion with Marissa addressing all the students’ top questions. Afterwards, we took them on an all access behind-the-scenes tour of what it’s like to work in Silicon Valley, including what it takes to launch some of our latest mobile products.

The first stop on their tour was our User Experience (UX) Lab where students had a chance to learn first hand about the importance of user feedback in consumer product development. Students met our UX and product teams, and learned how real world testing is critical to innovating and improving on products.

Next up, was a tour of Yahoo Studios, where students got the inside scoop on production, and how we put together a lot of our original video content. A few students even showed great promise as future on-air talent!

Then it was off to the Accessibility Lab, where they learned about the importance of building products that serve all our users, regardless of their physical capabilities. The students had an opportunity for hands-on problem solving to help individuals with hearing or visual impairment, or limited mobility use of our products.

We finished off the tour with a stop by our Publisher Products team, which works on some of Yahoo’s most popular products, like Yahoo News, Yahoo Sports and Yahoo Finance. Here, they got an inside look at a day in the life of an engineer – from coding the personalized homepage stream, to the data and analytics team that helps us make data-driven decisions, to the release engineers that manage quality control for final publishing.

We had just as much fun as the students, and we’d like to send our deepest thanks to Chaboya Middle School, Mr. Joe Ennes, and the 7th grade class for bringing their best and brightest energy to Yahoo. We had an amazing time hosting you, and have tremendous optimism for the great things you’ll achieve in the future!

ok u know how tae’s grandmother’s best friend has a strawberry farm or something like that, right???
au where you’re his grandmother’s best friend’s granddaughter and he sees you again for the first time in years and is totally crushing on you when you both go strawberry picking at your grandmother’s farm

I am not perfect and you are not whole.
But together, broken pieces make a mosaic
Of chipped, scratched, shattered glass
Beautiful to look at, yet sharp to the touch.

I am fire and you are ice,
Melting away to some unknown oblivion.
Are you melting for me
Or because of me?
And do you even know the answers

I have so many questions, but I fear you are the same
And I have fears and doubts,
And none of them are real.
I am standing on a precipice,
Gazing down into the abyss
And I am alone.

Don’t worry, you didn’t loose me
But I lost myself, long ago.
You can’t find me
Your kisses can’t heal me,
I am sorry but your love is not a comfort.

Answers! I demand answers
Answers for the questions that stem from my soul
Who are you really
And what do you want from me
Why did you choose me, the best at being the worst?
And do you really care, are you genuine.

I am broken and you aren’t whole,
But only one of us seems terrified.

anonymous asked:

Is it an autistic trait to have trouble processing questions? Also I can't feel pain normally and tell if something hurts or not so I don't know if that's something either

Yes, and yes I think.
Difficulty processing questions can stem from both auditory processing issues as well as from a difficulty to undertand social cues as well as other people’s intentions.
And not being able to tell whether you’re in pain might be due to being under-sensitive?

callmeranka  asked:

"Carmen. I'm sorry if this is a personal question, but there is a bit of a stereotype in American cinema that American women are loose. Is that accurate?"

Carmen was more then a little surprised by the question.
She started to answer then sighed as she really thought about the question.
“All stereotypes stem from truth.”
She crossed one arm over her chest and brought her other hand to her forehead in annoyance. Not at her friend but at reality.
However, if you’re asking if I am? The answer is no.”

Thinking aloud about the gremlin and his outfit and moves

I think a big part of my knee-jerk issue, when I’m a proponent of not policing fashion and hating dress codes and putting the onus of not sexualizing children on adults and not teens wearing whatever the outfit in question is, etc etc stems from his lack of agency, since he’s a fictional character made by adults for an audience that is composed of children and teens and adults

On the other hand, looking again at how he’s skating, there’s also not necessarily a lot of sexiness (though I actually also struggle to see it in the Eros performance, soooo?) but just his typical anger and ferocity—done in a call back to Johnny’s performance. How much of sexiness is being read into it by a world that’s gotten used to seeing our media portray teens like that?

(I’m just trying to figure out why I want to chastise him about his outfit when I would otherwise support and understand a real kid wanting to wear it and wanting to flaunt themself)

Also jeez I wish I could animate like that or even just draw stills that pretty

anonymous asked:

Hi, this is a genuine question stemming from curiosity so I hope I don't offend you. But I don't understand how it is possible to use he/they pronouns, yet identify as a lesbian?

Phrasing your ask “as a genuine question” doesnt make it any less transphobic idk why you bitches think thats gonna make me answer you.

anonymous asked:

Could you please tell me how the boys would be in bed? Thank you!

WELL- now I was waiting for the bold questions to come back so why don’t we start off with a bang~! (Oh wow that was a pun, I should be ashamed.) Let’s just get onto the members so we can forget about that ahah~

Onew: Onew is a man who knows what he wants. Underneath those angelic smiles and clumsy persona I think you’ll find pure masculinity. A gentleman in the streets and a bad boy in the sheets? Pretty much sums up our dubu leader! You can be sure that while Onew sometimes needs a push to know what you want, he might not be one to INITIALLY take control, but once you’re both in that bedroom (or anywhere else for that matter) you’re going to be in for a long night. I have a feeling that Onew is the slow burning kind; he shows a constant stamina to keep you both going all night without getting too out of control that he’s worn out, lets say that you’ll be used to trying out many different positions during the first round and then many many more during the second~ lets not forget about foreplay! Because I think that Onew is somewhere in the middle of loving it and wanting to just get right down to it. One thing he probably does enjoy? Oral. And by gods you’ll be giving it to him if he’s in charge, best of luck with that!

Jonghyun: Ah, a question that scares the crap out of me because holy crap this boy. I’ve stated previously that I don’t think that sex is really the most important thing to Jonghyun in a relationship. It matters a lot yes, because he’s definitely someone who relies on physical and emotional intimacy, especially with the one he loves, but I don’t think sex would be as often as many people would anticipate, maybe once a week? Maybe a little longer than that, or less– it depends on the mood I guess! But suffice to say that when you are in bed with him, things get heated fast, but while I believe Jonghyun might have a SLIGHT penchant for pain (through teasing mainly), I think that’ll show mostly in his love of foreplay. Like with anyone, one can’t just label another’s sex life as “this this and this” and that is where the difficulty of answering this question stems from. Because on one hand I can say yes, Jonghyun is a bit of a sex fiend with who knows how many kinks and will have you on the closest flat surface but on the other, there’s a larger part of me who thinks he’s a languidly slow lover who takes his time to show his feelings through touch, a selfless lover who looks after his partner first. His songs are a good indication really, the focus he has on the smallest things show how intimate he can be, his focus on hands, on simple massages and everyday caresses that some people take for granted. There’s a happy medium between the two, and he threads it easily.

Key: I will preach this until the cows come home, but I think that sex to Kibum is extremely important, it’s special to him and like all things that mean something to us, they’re better in small doses. Hence I think that while sex mightn’t be every night or even every week, the times you do get a little naughtier with Key, you can be sure that he’s going to be making up for however long you’ve both had to be celibate for! Now, let me make it clear that I said sex itself would be less frequent, but that doesn’t mean other bold things couldn’t be happening in the meantime. Key is definitely someone who exudes a sort of sexuality that can make even the most innocent of things (like eating a donut >.>) dirty. So beware in your daily life! You might find yourselves in certain situations while cooking or sitting together on the sofa that leads to some foreplay but of course, Key being the controlled being he is, would find it better to leave you needy for him, so that when he finally does take you, it’s going to be when you’re about to snap from the frustration. How he is in bed specifically, well—- I can safely tell you that I think you’ll be in for toys, maybe some handcuffs and definitely a blindfold because hey, we all saw those props he chose (granted the metal collar was definitely owned by Jonghyun) but the whip was definitely his! Do we need to go into the lapdance he gave that fan too? Yep, Key isn’t afraid to experiment and I know the girl he’s with will probably be equally as open minded.

Minho: How does one even begin to describe Choi Minho in bed? The man has sex rolling off him with the amount of testosterone he shows. A pure, red blooded male, you won’t be questioning whether he wants it or not because he’ll have you dropping what you’re doing whether its by simply grabbing you and pushing you against the closest wall or going about it in a more sly way by making you weak to him through kisses, nuzzles and nibbles. The man is gifted that’s for sure but don’t think he doesn’t get insecure too! He might worry occasionally, if you’re okay, if he’s hurting you or if you’re tired in which case you just need to… /show/ him you’re fine for him to let it go and give you a night that’ll leave you not being able to walk straight. I don’t see Minho being too much into foreplay, given his impatience but you can be sure he’ll take good care of you; instead, I see him enjoying sex in different locations rather than foreplay to give the same amount of excitement but with a twist. A car, the shower, who knows, the world is literally your bedroom!  Go enjoy it~!

Taemin: Would anyone believe me if I said I thought Tae might be the kinkiest out of the entire group? Ahah, I was reading back over some answers and one I remember most was rating them on their kinkiness I believe; Taemin being last but with the potential to climb and in the last two years my god has he climbed! I feel getting him into the bedroom might be the biggest challenge given his shyness but that stage presence is still a part of him, so once those doors close you can be sure that the shy maknae is gone and you’re in for a looooong night with this dancer~ For all his youth, I think that just makes him more curious about different things so I think someone who is open to trying new things and letting him know what she likes would be perfect. Speaking of youth, I’m pretty sure Tae still isn’t out of that “awkwardly horny at random moments” phase and if his partner is around well, you might end up against SM’s dance studio wall of mirrors trying to keep it down lest the security guard comes a’knocking~ and do I even need to mention that he’d make a game out of it? My gosh, he’d try make you moan, scream or just make any sort of noise that might alert someone just for the thrill of it. You can get back at him later of course, but while he’s in charge, he’s going to play you like a piano because after all, what was it they said about pianists hands?

anonymous asked:

hey just a question stemming from curiosity but how do you feel abt blacks? love ur blog xoxo ❤❤

They’re immoral and I wish they would realize anglo saxons are superior to them

“As an INTP, why do you drift off so much? What is it really like? Is it really that hard to pay attention? Is the world really that boring to you? It comes off as rude and arrogant sometimes; you’re in the outside world, interact with it! It’s not that bad! You hurt people’s feelings when you drift away, it’s like you don’t care about them or you think they’re wastes of time. No one is worthless!”

Imagine it’s the future (probably the near future if you pay any attention to technology news) and you’re an architect. What you need to do is design and build floor plans for a home. You’re in a room with projectors and you attach these little devices on your fingers. Then, you close your hands touching all ten of your fingers together before opening them wide. As you spread your fingers, a giant holographic, interactive array immediately sprouts in the middle of the room from the projectors. It’s the floor plan you’ve been designing. You can see the doorway, chairs, tables, walls, carpet.. all in fine color and detail. With a swipe of your fingers you can take a virtual first-person tour or you can zoom out to have a bird’s eye-view. You can tap and drag and flip and click and touch and flick, the room literally changing at your finger tips. Move that table here, get rid of that wall, resize that window. All at your command.

Great visual examples of this is in the Iron Man movies with Robert Downey Jr. Any time Tony Stark is hard at work in any of his workshops around the country and interacting with JARVIS, he uses something similar to what I’ve just described. Or in the 2003 movie Paycheck when Ben Affleck’s character reverse-engineers a competitor’s product. Or like in Minority Report with Tom Cruise when he’s interacting with the images of the future crimes that have yet to take place.

A more interactive example is like when you build your homes in The Sims video games. Or in Minecraft, especially with the in-depth mods, of designing and redesigning your different hideouts and safe rooms and bases, your intricate system of railways and redstone circuits.

Imagine this too: In Groundhogs Day with Bill Murray, or let’s say the more recent movie Edge of Tomorrow with Tom Cruise, anytime Cruise’s character dies, he wakes up to the beginning of his day and starts over fresh. He fails an obstacle, dies, wakes up, goes back to that obstacle, remembers how it kills him, and then easily bypasses it. In this way, he is allowed to adapt to battle conditions. He talks to someone, they don’t respond the way he needs them to, he dies, wakes up, tries again with a different approach. Through some personalized time machine made only available to you, you get to experience something similar! Today you have a job interview! You walk in, do terribly, you don’t get the job. Start over! You walk in, almost get the job but said one wrong thing and don’t quite nail it. Start over! You walk in, ace the job interview, and the job is yours.

These are what it’s like for an INTP when we ‘drift off’ or 'aren’t paying attention’ or 'are inside our own head.’ I call it daydreaming. Maybe other types do this as well, but it’s a notorious INTP trait. You have to realize though, that my examples are rudimentary because it barely explains only a couple of facets of our (or at least my) daydreams. It could be about a topic or subject that interests us, pouring over the facts we know about it, how we can learn more, or how we improve upon what we already know. It can be about an event that grabbed us that we’re playing over and over, reliving something amazing or understanding how everything went wrong. It could be about a lesson we’ve learned, found valuable, and how to apply it in our every day lives. It could be a question we have and all the questions that stem from the possible answers we can conceive from the original question, and all the questions that stem from the sub-questions, ad infinitum. It could be about someone we want to talk to and all the conversations we can conceive having with them, and all the answers they could possibly have from the good to the bad.. It could be anything that compels a person to ponder. Except, while other types ponder, we take that to the next level and enter a different reality altogether, a personal reality as impenetrable as we allow it to be.

Sometimes this reality is fragile: we can hear you and see you; we can exit when you’re getting frustrated or something important is happening (like driving or being shot at). Other times, this reality is all-encompassing. The external world is like being outside on a sunny day, and the INTP personal reality is coming inside your home and shutting your door; you can’t feel the warmth of the sun, you can’t feel the hot wind against you, and the neighbor mowing his lawn becomes a distant whir barely a whisper in the distance.. The outside world doesn’t exist anymore, and you can work comfortably and quietly in peace. No social requirements to give you a sunburn, no annoying small talk or emotions to breathe pervasively into your eyes and ears, noises and sights barely a whisper of sensation in the background…..

a person appears in your home. Someone you want to have a conversation with.
“Do you want to go out to dinner tonight?”
“I have that thing tonight, you know that.”
*duh, okay start over*
“Do you want to go to dinner tomorrow?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Come on, it’ll be fun, where do you live?”
“I’m not telling you where I live”
*that’s a little forward, start over*
“Are you free sometime this week?”

(you get the idea)

Or maybe you ARE an architect and the first scenario at the beginning of this post is what applies to you. Or perhaps you’re bored and building a spaceship. Maybe you’re challenging yourself to a long division problem in your head, maybe you were stuck in a video game and you’re replaying it to figure out what you may have missed, or you’re practicing chess strategies, or maybe you’re an artist and going over how to draw a particular body part or shape.

It’s a free space environment where everything is possible and nothing is absurd, full of resources to build what you need, quiet so you can solve that puzzle and answer those questions, omnipotence so you can simulate a situation as you understand it, comfort so you can calm down after an emotional event.. It’s your closet and it is as close to infinity as anyone will ever achieve in size, in depth, and in power.

This is why when you snap an INTP out of their trance, you can get an angry response back. It’s happened enough times to us that we generally just shove our irritation down instead, but how do you feel when someone slams their balled fist against the door of your bed room or the front door of your home as hard as they can, pounding incessantly to get your attention, to urgently open the door as quickly as possible? And then when you open that door, “Yes?” as your calm, rational reply, and your intruder responds with “LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE SALAD I HAD. IT WAS ONLY OKAY, I GOT IT AT…”

How would that make you feel?

Well, we think *Did you really just pull me out of my room or my home for this? Out of my infinity? Out of my personal space? My comfort? For your salad? Hey, fuck you buddy.* or some variation thereof.

The thing is, when someone hurts your feelings because they express disinterest at your salad story, it doesn’t mean your salad story is actually uninteresting. Maybe it is to that person (like for me; your salad story sucks), but other people might value it. And just like us and your garbage salad story, our personalities and the ways that mostly anyone else will ever feel isn’t actually always exactly as you perceive them. You say we’re being arrogant and rude for how we treated your story, we think you’re arrogant and rude for believing your salad was more important than the redesigning of Castle Gaillard for the Hundred Years’ War so the French couldn’t reclaim it in the year fourteen-somethingsomething. Just like we don’t care about your shitty story, you don’t care about our private mind closet (or you wouldn’t have pounded on the door). Was anyone really being rude? Or are we both just biased as to what we think is important?

Am I saying leave us alone? Not always, but sometimes.. Yeah do that. INTPs will always think they’re the most rational. We always think we’re right. So, you might get that INTP who is unapologetic for snapping at you, or who fusses because they want you to leave them alone, because they don’t think they’re being unreasonable or ridiculous. We do sometimes need people to make us realize that how we feel isn’t the *right* way, it’s just one way. As much as some of us (not all of us) hate to admit it, we do need people, and so those that stick around through our bullshit.. or even better, adore our bullshit.. we really do appreciate it, and even if sometimes we think you’re crazy for liking us, we really do know on some level that we need it. Everyone does. Don’t subject yourself to or put up with outright, inappropriate cruelty or meanness.. but do try not to take our perceived coldness and our seeming rudeness personally. We really are worthy, valuable, loyal-to-a-flaw friends, spouses, and companions, and we really do need the patience. Even when it seems we don’t always give patience back, we have plenty of other things to give.

Thank you.

P.S. (Looooooong P.S. about myself, skip this if you aren’t interested in personal rants about myself):
I don’t know if everything I said goes for all INTPs, or if it’s more of an “NT” thing altogether. So if something I said doesn’t apply to you and you’re an INTP, or something (or all of what) I said ALSO applies to you and you’re not an INTP, then accept my apology. Or don’t accept it, I really don’t care.

My daydreams do get intensely all-encompassing and blanket my consciousness to the point that it takes deliberate snapping or shaking me (gently) or one other thing (Ill explain in a sec) to get my attention. Usually though, they’re semi-intentional. “Semi” meaning that while I can definitely make the conscious effort to focus on something and drift away into a daydream, sometimes it’s completely automatic when my subconscious has determined I can’t learn something (or learn something necessary or interesting) from what is being said, and instead it pulls me into a daydream where I can maybe do something or teach myself something I deem more useful.

I also don’t intentionally make them weak or intense. I haven’t experimented or anything like that, but I THINK it depends on how much sensory disturbance I’m getting beforehand. If it’s already really loud and bright, I am not going to be able to go too deep. However, if it’s quiet and not-so-bright, while I will intentionally focus on my whatever-it-is, I’ll unintentionally drift so far deep into my head I might as well be asleep (I’m not asleep, of course, but my reaction to visual and aural stimuli is that of someone taking a nap).

The one other thing I mentioned a moment ago that will pull me out of a daydream is hearing my name. Some of you who follow me know my real name, I’d be grateful if you didn’t reveal it. If you’re nosey (knowsy?) and find it through Google, I’d also appreciate if you didn’t reveal it, but I understand this is the internet where good deeds generally cannot be requested. Still, I’m crossing my fingers and holding my breath. Deadly Question is a pseudonym I’m trying to separate from my name; I am not famous or important, I just have a job and a future career, and those things do not enjoy personal opinions being available on social media, so I’m trying to be responsible. Anyway. I do not enjoy pretending I am better or more capable than other people in any way (okay, maybe pretending, but I am not delusional about it), but I appear to be fine-tuned in recognizing my name when no other words or noises are intelligible, whether in a daydream or not. No matter how far or deep inside of a daydream I will ever be in, I will always hear my name. Even if I don’t respond immediately, you were heard. It’s the knock that can be heard around the world and while I might not answer the door, it is a guarantee that I heard it.

Yesterday morning, I was in a light daydream. I drove home, parked, fished my keys out of my pocket.. and that’s the last thing I remember before I fell much deeper. When I snapped back to reality I was holding my key against the keyhole of my front door, just standing there. Twenty-seven minutes had passed since I looked at the clock in my truck and then my watch after I popped back in. The sun blinded me as it rose pass the trees, or I think I’d have stood there longer. I’m not a stranger to my daydreams, but I realized how weird it might seem to a neighbor if they had been watching me (they weren’t), and that’s part of what inspired me to write this passage.

The other parts were questions I’d received in the past, questions and other posts I’ve read here on Tumblr, questions I personally received here on Tumblr, and verbal fights I’ve had most of which had initially made me feel really guilty about who I am (but don’t worry, those are in the past and worked out already). I do get that my daydreaming can come off as inconsiderate to you, but expecting me to care about the things I don’t actually care about also comes off as inconsiderate to me. I pride myself on having integrity, and me pretending to like someone I don’t, or pretend I care about the things that they say when I don’t, makes me hate myself, with very, very minor exception. I am not so immature that I won’t appeal to others when it’s morally right (according to my own beliefs), or when I want to get along with someone who is important to me or important to someone I find important myself. But otherwise, accept me for who I am and I will damn sure accept you for everything that you are, and you can take that to the bank, son.

Oh my God it’s really the end of the post. Rejoice,

Multiple choice tests involve a question (stem) and 2 or more options for answers. People get stuck on multiple choices once they over think the question or try to justify answers to themselves. However, sticking to a format for answering multiple choice tests can improve marks and reduce stress. 

Read the directions

  • Are there questions with more than one correct option?
  • Is there a penalty for guessing?
  • How much time is allowed?

Preview the test

  • Scan the test and answer the easiest questions first
  • Mark questions that will require more thought
  • Read through the test a second time and answer more difficult questions

Answering options

  • Cover the options, read the stem, and try to answer without looking
  • Select the option that most closely matches your answer
  • Treat each option as a true-false question, and choose the “most true”

Answering Difficult Questions

  • Eliminate options you know to be incorrect
  • Give each option of a question the “true-false test:”
  • Question options that grammatically don’t fit with the stem
  • Question options that are totally unfamiliar to you


  • Always guess rather than leaving blank spaces when there is no penalty
  • Use hints from questions you’ve already done
  • Change your first answers when you are sure of the correction.
  • Remember that you are looking for the best answer, not only a correct one, and not one which must be true all of the time, in all cases, and without exception.

♠ ♠ ♠

oh my dear, thank you so much. even though i think my writing is lacking a little bit lately. but it will get better, i think. so here is your scenario. i really hope you will like it and i am sorry that i made you wait for so long.

- nabi ♡

♠ ♠ ♠

Remember me - Kai Scenario (feat. Taemin)

♠ ♠ ♠

“So? Tell me! How is everything working?”, I asked quietly after I observed the room. No one else was with us. Excited I stepped from one foot to the other and played with my own fingers in front of my mouth. There had to be something new, there had to be something he could tell me. It has been a while since I saw him for the last time. Maybe four weeks? Even five? I lost track of it as my boyfriend’s schedule got busier and I decided to follow him around like a lost puppy.
He didn’t say anything, didn’t respond and only looked at me, his eyes kinda restless. Oh my, something went wrong, right? He made a mistake and ruined everything, right? I raised my eyebrows and lowered my hands, poking the tip of my index finger right into the space between his rips.

Taemin squeaked and draw back, rubbing the place where he still could feel my fingernail. “Oow.” He sighed and shook his head, signalising me that nothing seemed to work out well. His eyes were telling me everything and I stepped closer, I only needed to whisper now. Too big was the chance that someone would interrupt us, would enter the room with a big performance and even bigger eyes. Then usually… I wasn’t allowed to be in that building, not this late. But it was my only chance to meet him today, before he would start to promote overseas once again.
“You didn’t do it, right?”, I added another question and stemmed my hands into my waist waiting for him to shake his head. One. Two. Three. It only took him four seconds to respond to me this time. I groaned frustrated and stomped one of my feet to the ground. “Aaah why? Why didn’t you do anything? This was your chance, the biggest you ever had!”

Taemin scratched the back of his neck and lowered his gaze, observing his dancing shoes, the toes of his left foot almost touching those of his right. He hid his hands in the pockets of his pants and sighed quietly while I began to pout. Why the hell was he so shy? It screwed up everyhting for himself. I hit his upper arm, causing him to stumble back for another time, again rubbing his aching spot.
“Because I couldn’t… She was always with her other members, and I didn’t want to do it when they were all listening.”
Rolling my eyes I snorted playfully. “But we practiced this for so many times. You grab her hand…” I placed my fingers around Taemin’s wrist. “… and then you pull her after you…” I pulled at his arm and forced him to come closer. It was nothing unusual for us to be this close. We were even closer before. “… and when the both of you are alone…” I placed both of my hands on his cheeks, almost squeezing his whole face until he was looking like a fish, too big for a tiny aquarium. “… and then you tell her what you want to tell her…” Taemin gulped loudly and nodded, big eyes creating a now funny grimace. “… aaaand then. PAAM! You will kiss her, without warning. You got that?”

He nodded once again and I softly smacked his cheeks before letting go of him, pushing him slighty away with my hands pressed against his shoulders. “I mean, you know her even longer than you know me. And I am sure she likes you, too. You just need to make the first step. Okay, try it!”
“What?”, Taemin’s voice was higher than usual and he looked at me with disbelief in his eyes. “Now? She is with all the others and…”
“You idiot”, I interrupted him and pushed him again. “With me!”

“WHAT?”, Taemin almost shouted, jumping away a little bit, bringing more distance in between our bodies. I rolled my eyes. “Hey, you pervert! I didn’t say you should really kiss me. Just act like you’re about to do it. Like I used to practice with you before I confessed to Jongin. I can’t believe…”
“Okay, okay!”, it was his turn to interrupt me now while lifting his hands in a defending manner. “But don’t you dare to tell anyone about this. Ever!”
I nodded while rolling my eyes, hoping that no one would enter the practice room we were in right at that moment. “And don’t tell Jongin!”, Taemin added, raising the index finger of his right hand. I groaned. “I won’t!”

“Okay.” He shook his hands and exhaled some air just to wipe his now sweaty hands against the fabric of his pants. Taemin placed his hand around my wrist, signalising me that he was about to pull me after him. His eyes were restless and I bet I already was able to hear the loud beating of his heart. “Yubi!”, he used the name of the girl he liked and swallowed hard. “There is something I want to ask… No, I need to tell you!” I played along and nodded insecure, looking at my best friend and my boyfriend’s best friend with wide opened eyes.
“Then I drag her with me, right?”
I nodded once again, sighing impatiently.

Taemin took a deep breath and scratched the back of his head, deciding which words he would use as next. And then he looked up at me, met my eyes with a sudden rush of confidence while he tightened the grip around my wrist. “Okay, you know I will be in Japan soon, right?”
“And I will stay there for a little while. You know that as well, right?”
“Yes!” In my imagination I told him to hurry up. He should say what he wanted to say as soon as possible, without telling long fairytales.
“And I know that you’re busy as well. But if you have the time… If you can make some time… I really want you to go with me!”, he said with shaky voice, his hand that was still holding my wrist was shivering as well. Again he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Do you think… I mean, do you want to go with me?”

I knew Yubi, and I knew she was also madly in love with him, even though she never said something like this before. It was the way she was looking at Taemin, the way she got quiet whenever he was in the same room, the way her cheeks were blushing as soon as their eyes met - And he was too stupid to recognize, to see those signs because he always looked away way too fast, being too shy by himself. So I answered his question how Yubi would do it, because she was only waiting for Taemin to say those words. I decided to smile and to act all happy about his request. “I… Yes… I would love that!”
Taemin was so immersed in that crappy play that he also began to smile, relieved that she… that I said yes. And then he placed his hands against my cheeks and stepped closer. His breath was already brushing the skin of my face and I knew that it wouldn’t take him any longer to stop his acting. But the both of us froze completely in the next second, not able to move for even a little bit.

“HEY! What do you think you’re doing right now?”
His voice was fierce, angry and even though he was standing behind my back and I couldn’t see him I knew that he wasn’t laughing, smiling about the childish game Taemin and me were playing. I bit my lower lip and signalised Taemin to let go of me, almost staring him into the ground beneath our feet. He widened his eyes, the happening only slowly crawling into his mind. And then… Suddenly he pulled his hands away and looked like he had stolen something really important from Jongin. The heat in the room got higher, more intense, with every second that passed by and I couldn’t decide if it was right to turn around and to face him right at that moment. I wanted to take a black pen and to draw a black hole, just like the characters in the cartoons did and then I wanted to disappear, to somewhere no one would be able to find me.
Taemin looked at something behind my back and I guess he already met the frightening gaze of my boyfriend because all of his life left his body at once - He was getting paler and paler with every blink of an eye and a shaky breath left his mouth.

I decided to take a short glimpse at the mirror, already knowing that I would see Jongin there. And all he did was to stare holes into the back of my head, his hands clenched into tight fists, his chest lifting and lowering in a unsteady rhythym. I wasn’t able to look away anymore. It seemed like a unknown power was forcing me to look at Jongin, holding my own breath now. I could explain it to him, right? He would understand it and then begin to laugh about it, right? Neither me nor Taemin ever answered Jongin’s question. And so the atmosphere in the room got tense, filled with silence.

Jongin slowly moved his head until he was looking right at Taemin, shooting him death glares, but still using all of his self control in order not to yell at him or something like this. I tried to gulp down the heavy lump in my throat and lowered my head, ashamed of myself.
“Go!”, I heard his low voice, its sound was so dangerous that I began to hope he may was talking to me. But of course he wasn’t. He told Taemin to leave the room. There was never a situation like this before, I’ve never seen Jongin being mad or angry. I lifted my head for just a little bit, just until I was able to see his reflection in the mirror out of the corners of my eyes.
“Go!”, Jongin repeated his own demand, his voice even deeper now and I closed my eyes, just for a second. As I opened them Taemin met my eyes, shooting a apologizing gaze into my direction before he began to move. I wanted to hold him back, to grab his wrist and to force him to stay. He could also explain why the situation seemed the way it was. But I knew it wouldn’t make any sense.
As Taemin passed by Jongin I felt hot tears, beginning to fill my eyes. I chewed on my bottom lip as their eyes met. Taemin getting smaller in just the blink of an eye. Jongin seemed to hover over him like a beast about to kill its prey. “We will talk later!”, Jongin growled and my heart skipped a beat when Taemin left the room, left me alone with that dangerous beast.

My heart began to beat faster until it seemed like it already had reached my throat, making it almost impossible for me to breathe properly. The door of the practice room got closed quietly and then there was nothing else than silence. A unbearable silence wrapped Jongin and me in a uncomfortable situation. Even more uncomfortable than it was before.
I heard quiet footsteps and again closed my eyes, ready to resign myself to my fate, ready to get eaten alive. I forced my teeth not to chatter and began to shiver instead. We never were fighting before - So how was I supposed to know what would happen next? I felt sick all of a sudden, about to throw up in the next second, my stomach turned itself the other way round.

Almost one year. We were together, in a relationship, for almost one year and today was the day we would fight for the first time. Maybe this was just a dream, a not so beautiful nightmare. I mumbled quiet words even I couldn’t hear, begging myself to wake up. But nothing like this ever happened. I wasn’t dreaming. I began to wonder how much of this scenario Jongin witnessed. Well, it was enough to get mad at the both of us, Taemin and me.
“Were you… What was that?”, Jongin asked, whispering, trying to stay as calm as possible. But I could feel it, how his anger was about to boil up. I couldn’t help but to only whimper quietly, not able to answer his question. Why couldn’t I just tell him? This was so easy to explain. But still I was afraid. Not afraid of Jongin, I was afraid to make it even worse.

“___… Answer me!”
Again I held my breath, not knowing what I should do. But he didn’t even let me think about it any further. Jongin grabbed my left wrist and forcefully turned me around until I was facing him, without looking up at him. My head was still lowered as it almost bumped into his chest and I hardly bit my lower lip. Only a little more and it would begin to bleed. “Look at me!”, Jongin demanded but before I even had the chance to do it myself he placed one of his hands right under my chin, forcing me to lift my head. Surprised I grabbed some of the fabric of his shirt, feeling it between my fingers right above his stomach.
“I…”, I began to speak but stopped right away, strangely not used to my own voice. I cleared my throat as our eyes met for the first time today and I wished I could turn back the hands of time.

Everyone was well aware about the close friendship I shared with Taemin. And everyone thought he would ask me out before Jongin did. Everyone thought we were the perfect match, causing Jongin to feel insecure. But still he was all I ever wanted, all I ever wished for. It really must have been a hit through his heart to see us acting weird like this. I licked my dry lips.
“While getting so close to my best friend… Did you ever thought about me? Did you remembered me for even a simple second?”, Jongin asked and caused me to whimper for another time.
“It isn’t…”
“Then what was it? Because it really looked like the both of you were about to kiss…”
Even though he seemed to be angry, irritated, there was another expression lingering in his eyes. He was hurt and he was jealous. He always was whenever I was alone with Taemin. And then Jongin let go of me, lowered his hand that was still resting under my chin just to place it over my hands that were still holding onto his shirt. He pulled at me hands, signalising me to let go of it, of him. I felt weak. I didn’t want to let go of him, never again. My breath got stucked in my throat as he stepped away, only a little bit, but enough to let me feel the sudden coldness, the lost of his closeness.
“You could have told me… The moment I asked you out for the first time…”

I began to shake my head and opened my mouth. But strangely I couldn’t manage to say something, anything. “How did you want me to find out? When you already were in Japan with him? Did you want to tell me then? That you would be with him?” A smile was playing with the corners of his mouth, sarcastically as he shook his head as well, breaking the eye-contact. “Did you plan to even remember me then? Or did you want me to run after you and to find out by myself?”
I blinked for several times - Why was this so hard? Why was it so hard to say anything, to explain everything to him? I knew it wasn’t like this. But why wasn’t I able to say it? Instead I only tried to get a hold of his hand, wanted to feel the warmth of his fingers while I intertwined them with my own. But Jongin was way faster than me, pulled his arm away before I even had the chance to stretch mine out fully. “No!”

My heart broke. It only took him one second to break my heart, just like I did before. How could things even end up like this? When did my voice decide to run away? When did my courage decide to hide somewhere, at a place I didn’t know?
“How could you even… I mean…”, his voice broke, but he began to laugh the second after, hysterically. A first tear escaped my eyes and all the others began to blurr my sight. “Did you really think you could decide that on your own? That you could make plans for my future as well? Without even talking to me?”, Jongin slowly raised his voice with every word that left his mouth. And I? I sniffed quietly.
“This is my future as well! Who do you think you are to decide how my life should look like? Am I not allowed to tell you my opinion? Am I not allowed to try to convince you? To tell you why you should stay with me?”

“Jongin, I…”
“What?”, he now yelled at me, causing me to jump slightly, stumble away a little bit. My legs were about to grow weak, my body was ready to collapse when he would decide to go. To go like this. I clenched my hands into tight fists and straightened my back. I never wanted to make him feel like this. He was everything I had, everything I treasured the most. But before I even could open my mouth he raised both of his hands, signalising me to stop whatever I wanted to do.
“You know what? Forget it! I should have listened to the others when they said that someday… You would end up with him!”

Jongin turned around, about to storm out of the practice room. Leaving me dumbfounded. Almost. I took a step into his direction, stumbling forwards and finally my hand found its way to his wrist, holding him back. He tried to pull his arm away once again, but I just tightened my grip with every movement he made. “Let go!”, Jongin yelled, trying it for another time while turning around to have better control over his actions.
“No! I…”
“Let go of me! Now!”, his voice got even louder. Again I was afraid. But I couldn’t let him go like this. Not before I was able to explain everything. My fingers were forming a tight ring around his wrist, almost turning it white. “I said, let go of me!”, Jongin pressed out through his clenched teeth and used all of his strength to break free. But still I didn’t let him. I felt dizzy all of a sudden - As he tried to get rid of me. As he tried to pull his arm away. He used too much of his strength. And I could see little stars in front of my inner eyes as I bumped into his upper body, my head painfully colliding with his chest. Jongin held his breath and I could feel his eyes lingering on my shivering body as I hissed quietly. Was he hurt as well? I let go of his wrist and shook my head, trying to chase that feeling away, waiting for my body to hit the ground. But it never happened. Instead my mouth opened itself and without me even knowing I began to speak - “Yubi!” I forced myself to look up at him and met his questioning eyes, confusion lingering in them.

“What?”, Jongin blinked as he tried to read my face, my expression or even my mind. I don’t know. Whatever. He was still there. Maybe willing to listen to me now.
“Yubi”, I repeated and waited for my mind to act properly again. “Taemin. He likes Yubi!”
Jongin rubbed his chest, rubbed the place where my head caused the air in his lungs to leave his body apruptly. “So what?”, he asked unknowingly, waiting for me to answer his question.
“Believe me. Or don’t”, I said in between my heavy breaths, trying to stay calm now. Tears weren’t useful now. “Taemin likes Yubi. And I only like you. I just…” I closed my eyes for a second, wished for some support. I never felt like this before, so weak, so fragile, so about to collapse. “I just wanted to help him a little bit… And I really wish you did see everything, then you would know that I just…” Would it always be like this? Would I always end up like this when we had an argument?

“I just acted like I am Yubi like Taemin acted as Jongin before I told him about my feelings…” What was I even talking about? And then I began to sob, to cry like a little child, getting a hiccup because I wasn’t breathing properly. I pressed one of my hands against my chest before I began to slightly hit against hit, trying to chase that pain away that was lingering beneath. Out of the corners of my eyes I could see Jongin, searching for them, while I continued to hurt myself slightly, even more with every hit against my chest.
“___, what are you talking about?” And there it was! It was back! The soft tone of his voice, the tone I fell for, the tone that managed to lull me only by listening to it for a few seconds. I felt something warm resting on my cheeks. His hands.
I looked up, finally regaining my awareness. I took a deep breath, admiring his beautiful features. The only picture I wanted to look at for the rest of my life. “I…” Again I closed my eyes for a second, taking another deep breath before I met his eyes. “Taemin didn’t know how to tell Yubi that he likes her. And I know that she likes him too. And he is too shy to do anything. And then I tried to help him a little bit while acting like Yubi. Because we did this in the past, as I was unable to tell you about my feelings. And he helped me, acting like he was you and then we played a little bit, acted like I was confessing to you…” I stopped talking. Did that even make sense? But seemingly it did.

Jongin wrapped his arms around my upper body, causing me to shiver even more when he pulled me closer. His scent crawled into my nose, my senses, my veins just like his warmth did. I hid my face at the region of his neck, wrapping my arms around his waist. There it was, my support, the support I longed for. “You’re really stupid, you know that?”, Jongin chuckled quietly, only tightening his grip around me, pressing his cheek against mine. “Just like I am”, he added as he slowly began to pull away, almost causing me to whimper. One of his hands found its way back to my cheek where he softly brushed the skin with his thumb, wiping the tears away.
Jongin lowered his head until he was at the same eye-leven than me, a breathtaking smile decorating his beautiful face. “But don’t do this again, ever. Okay?”
I nodded and closed my eyes, feeling the life again filling my body as his lips hovered over mine~~