querti

List of rules/things the Guardians are not allowed to do. (additions encouraged)
  • 1. Jack Frost causing school snowdays is not a "peaceful protest against the establishment" no matter how much he argues this.
  • 2. Just because it's called "The Pole" is not an excuse to introduce strippers
  • 3. Tooth is not allowed to interrogate new dentists and dispose of the ones she deems unworthy.
  • 4. Bunny is not allowed to continue insisting this is the final passage of dental school.
  • 5. No one may ask Sandy if he "also causes wet dreams"
  • 6. Jack Frost is not allowed to replace the entire candy contents of the Warren with cookies because Doodle has declared them "the food of the gods"
  • 7. We will not be celebrating every single one of any Guardian's hundredth/thousandth-something birthdays.
  • 8. Ombric's name isn't "Mom"
  • 9. The Man in the Moon should not be addressed as "Dad"
  • 10. Mother Nature is not the Guardians' "wicked stepmother"
  • 11. Jackson is not allowed to lurk in the Pole's rafters and high crevices spying on people, unless it's beneficial to everyone to do so.
  • 12. The elves are not allowed to be naked in the workshop. Ever.
  • 13. North and Bunny may not get drunk together under the excuse of "inter-holiday peace."
  • 14. Sandy is not allowed to try loop-the-loops with the Dream Ship over human cities.
  • 15. Not every one of Katherine's visits at the Pole constitute as "day off for story-time." Regardless of whether Jack lays out floor mattresses and pillows.
  • 16. Missions should not be preceded by eggnog or Russian vodka shots
  • 17. Missions should not be followed by eggnog or Russian vodka shots
  • 18. There should be no shots of any kind during missions
  • 19. Collecting children's teeth does not count as "violating bodily autonomy"
  • 20. Pitch's lair is not home to the "Legion of Doom"
  • 21. Shaking or bending Nightlight will not make him glow brighter
  • 22. And hearing a crack is most definitely bad
  • 23. Babytooth is not allowed to lead the fairies in rebellious schemes
  • 24. There will be no gangster fairies
  • 25. There will be no ninja fairies
  • 26. There will be no moshpit fairies
  • 27. Jack is not allowed to argue that shoes are "the clothing accessory of satan"
  • 28. North may not attend Magical-Beings science conventions without a chaperone.
  • 29. The Djinni he built does not count as a chaperone.
  • 30. The fact that the moon is a ship does not mean messages from Manny should be responded to with the phrase "Aye Captain"
  • 31. Sandy, Bunny, or Nightlight escorting someone somewhere does not count as "alien abduction"
  • 32. Tooth's glare is not in fact fatal, and Bunny is not allowed to continue insisting that it is.
  • 33. No one may use Mr Querty as a paperweight.
  • 34. Despite how much Jack may argue this, rabbits are not "terrible people"
  • 35. Katherine's giant goose will not lay golden eggs. Feeding her large amounts of yellow foods shows nothing but a complete misunderstanding of biology.
  • 36. if it makes Bunny giggle for more than 30 seconds, it isn't allowed
  • 37. if it gives North a suspicious smile, it's probably illegal
  • 38. The Guardians do not need matching costumes
  • 39. Ombric is not allowed to yell "you shall not pass" and block entrances or pathways
  • 40. Mother Nature is not responsible for whatever pain anyone feels once a month, and is not to be contacted over such matters.
  • 41. Bunny is only allowed to blow up a maximum of five things per day.
  • 42. Bunny and North are not allowed to have contests over who can make the biggest "boom" at the pole. Especially if it involves egg grenades and christmas crackers.
  • 43. Jack is not allowed to join in and make the biggest "boom" with his Frost lightning.
  • 44. Pitch's Nightmares were not "demon My Little Pony mascots"
  • 45. Jack Frost is not allowed to show Nightlight modern technology and call it "earthling magic"
  • 46. The yetis do not need to be shaved, preened, or styled, and any poodle-like meddling with their fur will result in corner time immediately.
  • 47. "Because the moon told me so" is not a legitimate excuse.
  • 48. Jack's kangaroo jokes do not constitute as "anti-pooka racism"
  • 49. Bunny may not argue this simply because he is too tired to come up with an actual comeback.
  • 50. No one may tie thousands of dental floss strings together and call it Toothiana's "Lasso of Tooth"
  • 51. Pitch Black is not a combination of Marvel's Loki and Lord Voldemort
  • 52. Mother Nature causing natural disasters does not count as Pitch's version of "take your kid to work day"
  • 53. The Nightmare Galleon was not the Death Star.
  • 54. Bunny saying "trust me, I'm the healer," does not assure that he 100% knows what he's doing.
  • 55. Comparing sizes of tooth-bags is now banned until further notice.
  • 56. Jack is not allowed to drive the sleigh alone, and definitely not a space ship, despite any delusions of this he has, from a supposed "past life."
  • 57. And Jamie Bennet isn't Bunny's son.
  • 58. No one, Guardian or civilian, may try inhaling Sanderson's dreamsand. The results are not as tranquil as one would believe.
  • 59. North may not send Bunny and Nightlight on missions and call it "The Adventures of Man-Rabbit and Glowstick Boy"
  • 60. Jack Frost may not fly into space and put an eyepatch on the moon.