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SET

A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK HE’S EVIL

THAT HE WAS THE EGYPTIAN SATAN

NO HE WASN’T

IF YOU WANT THE CLOSEST EQUIVALENT TO THAT, LOOK TO THE AP-P, WHICH IS SCARIER THAN ANY SATAN. THAT THING WILL FUCK YOU UP. IT WANTS TO UNCREATE EVERYTHING SO THERE IS NOTHING

LUCKY FOR US, SET HAS GOT OUR BACKS

SET IS THE GOD OF CONTROLLED AND NECESSARY CHAOS

LIKE A STORM IS NECESSARY TO RE-BALANCE NATURE AND SHIT

IT’S FUCKING SCARY NOW

BUT IT MAKES SURE THINGS WORK LATER

LIKE A NATURAL FUCKING FOREST FIRE

FUCKING SCARY, PEEPS

REMEMBER WHEN I SAID SET HAD OUR BACKS?

EVERY DAY THE FUCKING AP-P TRIES TO EAT RA’S SUN BARGE

AND LIKE ALL THESE GODS GOTTA FUCKING FIGHT THAT THING

CAUSE OTHERWISE NOTHING WOULD EXIST ANYMORE

SO FINALLY

AT SUNRISE

SET FUCKING SLAYS THE DAMNED THING

EVERY. FUCKING. MORNING.

YEAH, BRO’S GOT OUR BACKS

AND AS A RESULT EVERY FUCKING DAY IS THE END OF THE WORLD

AND EVERY FUCKING MORNING THE WORLD RESTARDS

ANCIENT EGYPTIANS WERE FUCKING WEIRD

BUT PEOPLE THINK SET IS EVIL CAUSE HE TOOK THE BLAME FOR HIS BROTHER DYING

SOME PEOPLE SAY HE FUCKING DID IT

SOME PEOPLE SAY HE JUST TOOK THE BLAME

BUT THE POINT WAS HIS BROTHER WESIR HAD TO DIE OR ELSE THERE WOULD BE NO AFTERLIFE

IT WAS FOR THE GOOD OF EVERYONE, YO

AND THEN HE CHALLENGES HERU-SA-ASET FOR THE THRONE WESIR LEFT BEHIND((THERE’S MORE THAN ONE HERU, YO! THERE’S LIKE 50))

THAT’S A STORY FOR ANOTHER TIME I’LL FUCKING TELL YOU

BUT THEY FOUGHT FOR 80 FUCKING YEARS

AND SETS LOSING IS WHAT CAUSED HIM TO BE RA’S PROTECTOR EVERY FUCKING MORNING

HE’S A DAMNED FINE GUY

ALWAYS SAVING OUR UNGRATEFUL ASSES FROM UNCREATION

EVERY. FUCKING. MORNING.

YOU ROCK, MAN

-Mal

SEKHMET-HETHERT

SEKHMET-HETHERT IS TWO GODDESSES IN ONE

SHE IS HET-HERT

THE COW GODDESS WHO IS KIND AND LOVING AND GENTLE AND LIKE MUSIC AND PARTIES AND KIDS

SHE IS SEKHMET

THE LIONESS GODDESS WHO IS ANGRY AND LIKES BLOOD AND BEER AND FUCKING YOUR SHIT UP

IT’S LIKE FLIPPING A DAMNED COIN

CAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW IF YOU’RE GONNA GET HEADS OR TAILS.

HET-HERT IS KNOWN BY HER GREEK NAME, HATHOR.

BUT SHE AIN’T GREEK. SHE’S KEMETIC.

SEKHMET IS JUST KNOWN AS SEKHMET. SHE’S SCARY. DON’T FUCK WITH HER. SERIOUSLY DON’T.

THERE’S PEOPLE THAT THINK SEKHMET IS A MENSTRUAL GODDESS.

SHE IS NOT. STOP THAT SHIT. THAT’S NOT HISTORICALLY ACCURATE.

IT’S GREAT IF THAT’S YOUR UPG, BUT THAT HAS NO BEARING IN HISTORY.

I SHOULD KNOW.

SHE GOT MAD AT ME FOR IT.

DON’T PISS HER OFF.

THERE IS NO MAIDEN MOTHER CRONE SHIT FOR THESE TWO. THEY ARE TWO SIDES OF THE SAME GODDESS.

WHEN RA GETS MAD AT PEOPLE HE SENDS HET-HERT GO GO KILL THEM ALL.

SHE TURNS INTO SEKHMET.

OFFER HET-HERT HAPPY THINGS.

OFFER SEKHMET MEAT AND BEER.

-Mal