queer role model

Over here just trying to make the best of this masculine body of mine.

It is interesting to live here in the south during a time where much of the world, especially the younger generations, are transitioning away from the idea that gender is a binary. Slowly, I believe the society here in my home town will recognize individuality as something that can be expressed beyond our biological obstacles. Take myself for example…

-Elliott Alexzander

Image from:
Raymond Stephanson, The Eighteenth Century,  Vol. 38, No. 2 (SUMMER 1997), pp.151-170

Stephanson’s ‘Epicoene Friendship’ paradigm provides some context for romantic male friendships in the eighteenth century, and at face-value it fits the Hamilton/Laurens relationship startlingly well, but it should be noted that these conventions were out-dated by the 1770s by the shifting standards of masculinity, so the fact that Hamilton and Laurens were still adhering to a similar model either means they were overly-affectionate dorks trying to act like the old-school millennial bros that came before them, or they were just really gay and pretty bad at hiding it.

#GiveElsaAGirlfriend because maybe I would not have been filled with shame and self-hate for the first 15 years of my life, if I had a positive queer role model in mainstream media growing up. When children are taught they are not normal for being themselves you’re giving them a ticket to loneliness, heartache, and self hatred. Kids need to feel loved and accepted. Period. Don’t project your personal hate on others.

Imagine Sam Jones, nineties teen.

No, seriously, Sam Jones, openly queer, unfeminine, outspoken environmentalist, sjw – in highschool in the nineties. Sam Jones picking fights with school bullies, being the girl no one would share a locker room with, being isolated, starved for queer role models, living in the aftermath of Thatcherite Britain. Sam Jones the teenaged survivor, exhausted at how damn hard it was to be out in the nineties, to be feminist, to be the annoying chick who never shut up about the ozone layer.

Now imagine Sam Jones meets a strange alien, queer, beautiful, more passionately invested in justice and equality than she even knows how to be, saver of worlds, discoverer of new and strange and wonderful places and people. And that strange and beautiful alien says “come away with me. come and see the universe, we’ll save people and right wrongs together, you can see a future where you don’t have to hide, or fight, just to exist.”

How on Earth could she not fall in love?

when i came out as a lesbian at 18, my mom cried. among a lot of other things, she said i couldn’t be gay because that life wouldn’t end in happiness. and i believed her.

i believed her because there weren’t happy endings for queer women on tv or in movies. i didn’t have any real-life queer role models. 

then there was lexa. lexa gave me hope. i put so much of myself into lexa and i loved her so much. lexa made me feel that just maybe, i could get a happy ending.

it’s been 62 days and i’m still grieving. i will never be over commander lexa.