queer international

Being female-assigned, female-presenting nonbinary on International Women’s Day just highlights how much our language fails people with liminal identities.

There aren’t easy words to describe people whose identities are tied together by our external experiences. We’ve got acronyms– FAAB or AFAB– to describe our physiology, but that feels blank and statistical, and assuming external experience is associated only with physiology is flawed and gender-essentialist in its own way. “Woman” and “female” both belong to people who share an internal identity I don’t share. Female-presenting centers the absence of identity, makes me feel as if the only way to describe myself is as an empty facade. Femme is inaccurate; femme is a word that belongs to a different type of identity that I don’t inhabit.

Self-describing “as a woman” not only erases my own nonbinary identity, but also does a great discredit to transgender women by suggesting that “woman” is a descriptor tied to physiology or external experience rather than identity or expression. 

What we don’t have is a word that ties together all of us who share an external experience based on how we are perceived because of our gender assignment and/or perceived presentation. That’s not womanhood, not for all of us, and it’s not the only kind of womanhood. Womanhood, our understanding of womanhood, needs to belong both to women who were never seen for who they were because they were assigned female and women who were never seen for who they were because they were assigned male. 

I share a kinship based on experience with both cis women and trans women, and some things I share more with cis women, and other things I share more with trans women, and some things I share with both and other things I share with neither. But we have no language that lets me relate simply and accurately, because my internal identity isn’t theirs, and we have words to describe internal identity, but none to describe experiencing the same things as a group without truly being part of that group– none that feel right, none that feel inclusive rather than sidelining ourselves by definition.  And it makes it hard to claim and relate experiences, even in places where I feel welcome, without feeling in some way deceitful or erased. 

I want a word to describe internal identity, another to describe physiology, another to describe external experience, because all of those are valid things to identify with and to talk about in regard to their commonalities, but it needs to be very clear in our language that they’re all different things, and that they’re not mutually inclusive in the way our society still generally implies they must be. 

So, anyway. I’m feeling very much on the outside looking in, feeling strong solidarity but no way to express it with the words I’ve got access to. But thanks to all the women out there and all the people our world defines as women for being yourselves and for doing the work you do. 

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Happy international lefthanders day! While this may not seem relevant, here are some fun facts for you:

  • Gay men have a 34% greater chance of being left-handed than straight men
  • Lesbians have a 91% greater chance of being left-handed than straight women
  • Asexual people are 2.4 times more likely to be left-handed than allosexual people
  • Non-cis people assigned male at birth are more than twice as likely to be left-handed than cis men

(Wikipedia provides a long list of studies on this, including the ones that provided these statistics)

If you are queer and left-handed you are in the company of historical figures like Leonardo Da Vinci, Alexander the Great, and David Bowie, as well as all four of your lovely podcast hosts. Unfortunately our brief research turned up no historical queer, left-handed women, so tell us if you know of any, and have a wonderful international lefthanders day!

starsandchocolate  asked:

I recently figured out I'm nonbinary. Actually I just identify as queer both sexually and genderwise ( It's the word I like the best and it's not problematic where I'm from). Anyway, I'm afab and I present in a very feminine way and feel no need to change that. I would prefer they/them but I'm fine with she/her so for me it outweighs the trouble of transitioning socially and coming out to some people. Often I feel like I'm the only one and my identity isn't valid. Are there others like me?

I was immediately drawn to your ask because I really want to address queer “being problematic”.

A history of our community terms, aka “Everybody who came out before you has taken the rocks and bottles and made them into shields and windchimes.”.
Many of our terms are actually reclaimed slurs; queer has been targeted and smeared from within the community because it is one of the most inclusive terms we have.
Queer has a solid history of being used as an inclusive, reclaimed label - in particular for qtpoc.
Gay is also a reclaimed, non-inclusive term that’s forced upon the rest of us because it can be used to sideline non-cis-white-gay folk.

Queer is not a problematic term. It is our term. Saying otherwise disrespects our history. Queer is one of the most inclusive terms we have. If someone is personally uncomfortable with the term, that is fair and they should do what they need to in order to stay safe and comfortable. But nobody has the right to dictate that we abandon the term queer. Be proud of identifying as queer! It’s a loaded term with a proud history. “We’re here, we’re queer, get over it!” Never feel like you need to defend yourself to us because you identify as queer. That is 100% your right. I also identify as queer. Queer is the community and space where I have been accepted without question. It is the label that feels the most right. Don’t let people take that away from you. <3

Sorry that was so long - let me get to your actual question!

Short answer: YES!!! 

Every single one of us deals with these self-doubts of not being valid or not being valid enough. Every. Single. One of us. That’s what cisheteronormativity does to us. Tells us we aren’t real, aren’t valid, aren’t acceptable - are only pretending. Those thoughts, as common and normal as they are? They are not true! It doesn’t matter if you are the most stereotypically feminine person, if you present feminine, and you are afab - if you identify as nonbinary, then you’re nonbinary! You are valid! There is no bar of “queer enough” that you have to reach to be valid. You are valid.

~ Mod Sock

My favourite argument against bi!Dean is ‘BUT DEAN SAID HE WAS STRAIGHT’, because I just get to laugh a knowing little laugh & think to myself ‘Yeah, so did I. even believed it at the time, too

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  1. Jewish Latina/Korean bi trans girl Janice x lesbian African American cis girl Tamika 

  2. aro ace Jamaican cis woman FOW x biro bisexual Navajo cis woman Josie

  3. queer Morroccan Muslim cis woman Dana x queer Indian genderfluid Vithya

  4. lesbian Peruvian cis woman Hannah Guiterrez x panro pansexual Cuban agender woman Lucy Guiterrez

  5. panro pansexual Latino cis guy Paolo x biro gay Chinese cis guy Leland

Okay wow I was gonna catch up with POC Night Vale Week today but I spent all my time on the Queer Day…

Some people, I hear: The Lego Batman movie made Batman and Joker unnecessarily gay!!

Me: ……  *just watched a cannon fight between them in their old age in the tunnel of love at a carnival where the joker says “i love you” unabashedly and makes a whole ton of getting old/can’t get it up/finish me off puns as they fight to the death*

Me: …. Yeah…. unnecessarily….

anonymous asked:

One day out of the entire year for women, and you choose to focus on drag queens? Our tomboy ancestors are shaking their heads at you.

Yes, I very much will stand up and applaud for amazing QPOC queens, drag culture, and the history of New York’s rich ball scene. But I was also talking about drag legends such as Venus Xtravaganza, who identified as a woman and had to face the prospect of harassment every day if she didn’t “pass”. It’s crucial to remember that this is an experience of womanhood to some.

And every day is a day to celebrate women. Truly. I don’t see today as THE one day to narrow all my pride in womanhood to one absolute thing. That counters the very concept of intersectionality I believe in.

It baffles me that you can’t see that the liberty of being a tomboy, butch woman, androgynous woman (and more) is tied to the history of cross-dressing and drag. I am not here to make up an exclusive club of some sort. This is a space for queer and trans lives.