Sitting on the train on my way home, I did what any other Millennial would be doing…I was scrolling up and down through all of my social media pages. I already knew today was the Met Gala (thanks to SnapChat reporting live on nearly every event from soccer to the Grammy’s). However, I was not prepared for what I was about to see on my Instagram feed. Within 49 seconds of posting the photo, she had over 18,000 likes and countless comments. That’s right, Queen B has slain the world yet again in another flawless ensemble. I’m sure Blue Ivy is very proud of her mommy, watching from what I like to picture her babysitter’s arms.
“Look at my mommy, she’s more beautiful and famous than you’ll ever be!” said Blue Ivy in my head, while her babysitter shrugs, sitting on a couch made of gold in what I assume would be Blue Ivy’s private home.
Anyway, there she was all over my Instagram feed; in less than an hour, multiple photos of a nearly nude Beyonce were making me wish I went for the sushi roll without the rice with dinner. I can’t understand how I can truly love and hate one person all at the same time; which brings me to my next, and constant question: is Beyonce even real?
Consider the facts, this woman seems to
1. Get better with age
2. Be respected more than any world leader, politician, or idk like other super important people
3. Never have given birth to a baby - according to the laws of gravity, her body could not look this way if she did.
4. Never ever get caught slippin
How can someone as perfect as this exist when I can’t even seem to get the chipped nail polish off my nails? I know she probably has a team of experts that literally make her into what she is every day, but STILL. If I could do that, I would too.
On that note I’m gonna go watch the “Crazy In Love” music video for the billionth time…I may or may not have memorized the strut and dance
How does that phrase go… “be yourself unless you can be Beyonce, then always be Beyonce?”