qubool hai

Guide to Every Indian Drama Ever

1. A humble heroine with big dreams

.. and a filthy rich hero with an attitude problem

2. Heroine has a strange disorder where she keeps falling on the hero

3. Magically transport to a forest, where the couple plays a game of Survivor

4. Right when it heats up, introduce the “vamp” (aka hero’s superslutty girlfriend)

5. Couple has huge misunderstandings, which could be resolved with a 5 minute convo

6. In a strange turn of events, hero force-marries heroine 

7. There must be an absurdly long drawn-out wait until the consummation

9. Throw in an an evil mom/grandma/ex/random twat to separate them

9. When the couple finally gets down to bizness … bam! heroine becomes pregnant the very next day

10. Actor becomes popular and gets the hell outta the show

11. Director tries to pass off a random guy as the hero

12. Show dies a slow, but swift death

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Stay tuned for next week’s newsletter, with the following amazing features: 

  • Using Your Love Interest’s Sibling As a Bargaining Chip to Ensure Matrimony (Because No One Will Marry Our Damaged Asses The Normal Way) by Arnav Singh Raizada (guest contributor: Shivaay Singh Oberoi)
  • Tehzeeb and Tameez: An Introduction to Moral Pontification by Asad Ahmed Khan
  • How to Do a Complete 180 Personality-Wise by Omkara Singh Oberoi

  • I’m Not As Bad As These Other Guys (and Thus I Died Without Getting The Girl): A Warning Tale by Aahil Raza Ibrahim 

  • The Idiot’s Guide to Arson by Advay Singh Raizada

  • Fitness Tips and Fat-Free Recipes from Rudra Singh Oberoi! 

  • I’m a Werewolf/Vampire/Lord-Even-Knows-What and I Still Found Love! by one of those randos from QH Season 40 (who the fuck knows their names? not me.)
  • Healthy Coping Mechanisms Post Breakup by Shivaay Singh Oberoi

  • Discussion Topic for the Week: “Tum Jaisi Ladkiyaan…” - Why are these middle class girls so annoyingly irresistible? 

  • Meet Up Location for the Month: The Dargah. (Aloo Puri for Lunch after!)

  • Special Deal on pools that are too shallow to swim in! (Up to 30% off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Tellywood
  • Lead Couple: "Oh nothing can separate us now, our love is too strong."
  • Villain-Type 1: I will separate them. I hate them together for some reason.
  • Villain-Type 2: I am pregnant with your child because we had sex the night I drugged you.
  • Villain-Type 3: Kidnaps one person of the lead couple or instigates them against each other.
  • Lead Couple: misunderstanding
  • Lead Couple: cry forever
  • Male Lead: Becomes a total asshole
  • Female Lead: Cries but doesn't do anything about her predicament.
  • CVs: sad songs
  • CVs: flashbacks
  • CVs: oh look they are getting back together
  • CVs: NOT
  • Villain: "I have succeeded."
  • Lead Couple: after months they use their brain and realize that they have been played.
  • Villain: fails but promises to avenge their death/failure.
  • Lead Couple: "No one can separate us now"
  • CVs: One romantic scene before we screw shit up again.
  • Fandom: "Here we go again."

anonymous asked:

Read your comparison of Khushi and Gauri, and I loved every word you wrote. Such a brilliant comparison! So, I want to ask you a difficult question now. I think you've seen Qubool Hai right? If you had to point out similarities between Zoya and Gauri, what would they be? I know, both of them are as different as night and day, but just for fun if you had to attempt it, what are the similarities between them? I know, probably there is none, but I love reading your views.

Hi anon! 

Aaaaah, thanks so much! These kinda answers take a fair bit of time and brain racking, and it’s always nice to get appreciation! :) 

Off the top of my head, here the similarities between Zoya and Gauri. I’m sure there are more, but it’s been a really long time since I’ve watched QH, and I’m forgetting a lot of specific events in Zoya’s life. 

  • Quite similar personalities actually; both are ✨✨✨Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice.✨✨✨ 
  • Bhagodi Dulhans unite! 👰🏽👰🏽👰🏽🏃🏽🏃🏽🏃🏽
  • Relentlessly cheerful and kind, despite their traumatic childhoods. 💖💖💖
  • Will not stand for your BS patriarchal and misogynistic character assassination based on faulty comprehension skillz, and will fully rip you a new one if you try. 😤😤😤
  • Are adopted, and have been raised pretty affectionately, but both still have an intense craving for the love and feeling of belonging, which they ultimately find with the male leads’ families. 😔😔😔
  • Quirky little manic pixies, who drive the people around them to amusement and the male lead to teeth-gnashing frustration. 🙃🙃🙃
  • Have saasumaas who love them and are always advocating for them against grumpy son. Sibling(s) of male lead instantly love her and adopt them as honorary sister. 😘😘😘
  • Overenthu chirraiyyas who like to get all up in everyone’s business out of sheer curiosity. 👀👀👀
  • Wickedly clever, and get outta pickles (that they got themselves in, honestly) with increasingly creative schemes. 😎😎😎
  • Experts in verbally destroying people with the sweetest, angelic smiles on their faces. 😇😇😇
  • Both ruled by their stomachs. 🍕🍕🍕 
  • Endless patience and forgiveness with their bullheaded male leads, who have almost gotten them murdered thanks to their BS. Just too damn good for these idiots, really. They should leave their undeserving asses already. 😒😒😒

storytime: for whoever the fuck cares

you guys I’m watching Qubool Hai s1 and on episode 93 there’s this scene where Zoya and Asad eat bhaang wale pakore and they get stranded (Zoya does it on purpose) AND THEY’RE LIKE FIGHTING BUT THEYRE ALSO LAUGHING AT THE SAME TIME IM FCKIFNDNDNDK DYINGGG THEYRE SO CUTE. ZOYAS SOOO CUTE SHE LITERALLY SAID THAT SHE CAN KILL ANYONE WITH HER DIMPLE HOW FUCKING CUTE WHAT KINDA SELF LOVE GOALSSSS I LOVEEE HER.

AND THEN.

And then. andddd….. thennnnn??!!!……they freaking play “Bol Na Halke Halke” WHICH IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SONGS LIKE EVER OKAY I WAS LISTENING TO IT THE OTHER DAY AND MY HEART STOPPED WHEN I HEARD IT OHMYGOD I LEGIT HAD TO PAUSE FOR A MINUTE AND ZOYA WAS IN A SAREE AND ASAD WAS IN A BLACK KURTA AND IT WAS RAININGGGGG. I honestly felt like I was watching a fanfiction come to life. It got awkward/cheesy with the lip-syncing later but OMGGGGG my heart has still not recovered ohmygosh no one understands my love for that song. IT WAS SOOO CHEESY BUT SO CUTE. AND THEN THEY BOTH FRICKING CONFESSSSSS WHILE DRUNKKK BITCJJHHHH MY HEART I THINK IVE FOUND MY NEW SHIP YALLS (a trashy ship nonetheless) AND I WANTED TO SHARE IT WITH SOMEONE MAN IM JUST SO FULL WITH THE FEELS OK BYE