Summary: During a routine visit to the local bakery, you stumble upon an intriguing business card and figure, what the hell. The business arrangement becomes…mutually beneficial. Y’all know where this is going.
“We must never forget, every time we sit on a horse, what an extraordinary privilege it is: to be able to unite one’s body with that of another sentient being, one that is stronger, faster and more agile by far than we are, and at the same time, brave, generous, and uncommonly forgiving.” - William Steinkraus
43. “Are you drunk?” Paperhat :3. I love your writing too. You're just amazing!!
“Are you drunk?”
Dementia stepped into Dr. Flug’s private quarters cautiously. She eyed the empty bottles of cheap beer scattered across the floor, and then her friend, who sat slumped over at his desk. Slowly, she picked her way over to him, and laid a hand on his shoulder
“Flug are you-” Suddenly, Flug snapped to attention, nearly falling backwards out of his chair, and staring at Dementia through fogged up goggles. He stammered out,
“Wha? What are you… oh…” He reached up under his crinkled bag and rubbed at his eyes. “HEy, DementiA!”
“Ah jeez, Flug, how much did you drink?” Dementia asked. The doctor held his hand in front of his face and tried to count on his fingers.
“Uhh… one, two…. Three??? Four. Maybe 5?” he muttered. Then Flug lurched in his chair and stood up to face Dementia. “ ‘M not sure!”
Taking another look, Dementia noticed their were were only 3 beers that were actually empty on the floor; she sighed internally in relief.
“All right, how ‘bout you sit down and we can have a lil’ chat,” she said. Then she guided her friend back into his seat, and hoisted herself onto his desk. “Why’d you feel like drinking?”
Flug slammed him face down onto the desk with a loud THUNK, and groaned. His next ‘words’ sounded as if someone had managed to say a keyboard smash out loud, which caused Dementia even more concern.
“FLuuuuuuuggggg, what’s happening in that super smart noggin?” The doctor shifted so he could look the girl in the eye.
“Toooooo, many feeeeeelings, Dem,” Flug slurred.
“What KINDA feelings?”
“Heart stuff, like, bang bang in my chest and uhhhhhhhh, ya know?” Dementia was trying so hard not to laugh, but the way Flug was looking at her like he’d just revealed some big secret made her double over with laughter.
“You have a crush on someone!! Oh my gosh are you serious!? That’s why you’re drinking!!??” Even with his bag on, Dementia could tell that Flug was blushing, as the skin disappearing under the bag’s fringe was turning pink.
“I-its not f-funny DEM!” Flug shouted and folded his arms tightly across his chest like a pouty child. “I *hic* don’t want to feeeeeel things about him.”
“HIM!!!??? HIM!!!!!” Dementia jumped off the desk and began to bounce in front of Flug on tip-toe. Flug made that keyboard smash sound again, then promptly fell out of his chair and began to roll across the floor in no particular direction, just to get away from Dementia. She followed close behind. “Unless you’ve been getting out of the house Flug, which I KNOW you haven’t, there is ONE him in this house and-”
“StttoooooOOOOPP,” Flug groaned and slapped his hand up at Dementia’s face, then curled into tighter ball on the floor.
“I can’t believe this!”
“I’m gonna kill yah… and then ‘M gonna drown myself with drink.”
“No you’re not, silly! You and I are gonna swap stories about Blackhat now, and both reminisce over our mutual love for him! Although…” Dementia laid down and next to Flug and rested her chin on his shoulder. “Your ‘love’ is probably more genuine than mine, come to think of it. You’ve worked with him longer, know him better than any of us, and honestly sometimes I think I like him just cause he’s the only person around worth liking!” Flug glared at Dementia over his shoulder.
“I find that offensive, “ he huffed. Dementia made a gagging noise and then pushed him away from herself.
“That wasn’t meant to say you’re not worth liking, ya dolt. Just that you’re more like a brother to me or something,” she said. “Or like, you’re my best friend, and it would be weird to like you.”
“Yeah, whatever, Dem….” For a moment, Flug fell silent, as if he had snapped out of his slightly drunken stupor and become very much aware of what was happening all around him.
“What do you mean by all that though?” he asked quietly.
“Well, I guess I mean what you’d probably have a chance with Blackhat. I mean, I see the way that he looks at you after filming, when you’ve gotten hurt in some way? He seems worried, and he always tells 5.0.5 to check on you. A few times, I’ve even caught him checking in on you’re while you sleep, or carrying you to your room if you crash in the lab. He’s gentle in those moments, and I never see him like that anywhere else, or with anyone else.” Dementia crawled over Flug’s prone body to curl up facing him.
“You see, he acts really tough, but I’ve seen him with genuine fear in his eye over losing you. That one time you got kidnapped and held for ransom, he acted cool and collected when giving 5.0.5 and I instructions, but I saw him tearing apart everything in his room afterwards in rage. He… he almost killed me when he learned that I had failed to protect you…but you see, I know he cares for me too, ‘cause he didn’t. And later, when we got you back, he patted me on the back and said ‘you’re forgiven, but don’t let that happen again.” Dementia rolled onto her back, so he didn’t have to see the way that Flug was staring at her through his goggles.
“Now, you may say that Black hat just cares about you because you make him money, but… I don’t think that’s it, Flug. We’re his family in a way, and he won’t ever admit that, but we know it’s true. “ Dementia giggled. “I’m his annoying little sister, 5.0.5 the overly affectionate pet, and you? You mean the most to him, you’re… what he wishes was his love.”
The room fell silent.
As Flug’s gaze bored into the side of her head, Dementia grew increasingly uncomfortable, until she shot up to her feet and shouted,
“Well you know, I’m probably actually a lesbian for all I know!”
That got Flug laughing.
“Hey don’t laugh at me, mister! I have seen, like one girl, and she was hella hot okay! I saw her outside and was just like ‘wowie! Look at that artwork strolling down the street! Hey! It’s not FUNNY!” Flug was wheezing with laughter, sitting up and holding his sides trying to breathe.
“Holy Shit, DEm! I’m gonna die!” he gasped. Then that moment of awe striking clarity ended, and Flug became slurred with his drunkenness again.
Struggling to his feet, Flug began to stumble towards the door, but Dementia caught him, asking,
“Where do you think you’re going?”
“I’m gonna go get Blackhat to confess his love for me!” Flug slurred. Now any good friend would have sat their friend down and told them to sleep off the drink so they didn’t do something they’d regret in the morning. Dementia, was not a good friend.
“Holy shit, I gotta see this go down! Let me get my phone!”
The next morning
“Hey, it Dementia, here to bring you the aftermath of Flug’s Drunken Shenanigans! Let’s see what’s behind door number 1!”
“GET OUT DEMENTIA!!”
“OH MY GOSH YOU GUYs-”
“IF YOU ARE ABOUT TO IMPLY WHAT I THINK YOU’RE GOING TO IMPLY YOU’RE WRONG!”
“Wha? What’s going on? Dementia?”
“Flug! Flug what happened!!! You’ll tell me the truth!!”
“What? Nothing happened Dementia, we just feel asleep.”
“YEAH, SO GET OUT NOW!”
“You guys are boring! You just cuddled and-”
“THERE WAS NO CUDDLING!!”
“YOU GET OUT TOO FLUG!”
“But sir I-”
“I WAS JUST MAKING SURE YOU DIDN’t KILL YOURSELF WHILE YOU WERE DRUNK!”
“Then why did you hold on so tightly and start purring like a-”
“OUT! OUT! OUT!”
“Sooooo, that went better then expected,” Dementia hummed. Staring Flug down as they both stood outside Blackhat quarters, where he had just slammed the door in their faces, she grinned mischievously and winked. “So what did happen, in there, Flug?”
“I don’t kiss and tell, Dementia.” Flug stated firmly.
“So you DID kiss him!!” Flug began to stammer and blush.
“NO! I didn’t say that!!
“It was implied! I’m gonna go shout this from the rooftops!”
“No you’re not!”
“Am too!” Dementia took off running down the hall.
“Get back here!” And with that, Flug sprinted off after her.
Meanwhile, in his quarters, Black hat sat at his desk with his head in his hands. Damn his cute scientist, and damn that annoying Dementia, he thought. They were going to be the end of him.
I hope this is to your liking? I was laughing for a good portion for writing this, and so thank you for this wonderful request! Anyone and everyone feel free to send me more writing prompts!