To be fair, from the pov of verisimilitude, Peter not knowing which non-departmental government body was responsible for which thing is totally on point. Because really, most people do not know or care.

Even within the sector, there’s quite a bit of confusion. The Environment Agency consistently gets referred to as the Environmental Agency. Natural England still gets called by its old name, English Nature. Defra itself is often referred to as MAFF, which it hasn’t been since 2002. And nobody really knows what CEH or Cefas do. Unless Peter had worked in Wildlife crime, or done joint ops with the EA (or one of the marine enforcement agencies), he’d probably not really know what any of them did. I don’t know if standard cop training includes stuff on the Wildlife and Countryside Act (if so, he might have seen, like, a powerpoint on the various agencies), but conceivably not.

It’s funny, because I’m pretty sure each of them has a higher-level-objective to be “seen and recognised” for their work. Mwahahahaha!

Confession (Yugyeom)

Request: Can I request for a yugyeom scenario where he and i are on a show together and the mc asked him how he fell for me? Both of us are singers and can I be two years younger than him? Fluff and comedy please and thank you

Length: 724 words

Genre: Fluff

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Prior to the 20th Century we were one of the least ethnically mixed people on the planet. The Romans fought us and indeed ruled us for a while, they did not change our DNA. And as for the ludicrous Bonnie Greer’s matronly fantasy about Rastafarian Romans cavorting with Celtic maidens, that remains the same historically unsubstantiated crap it was when it bubbled out of her disingenuous Quango appointee gob on Question Time.

A small number of our nobility mated with the Normans after 1066; we the ordinary people didn’t. Another small number of our nobility mated with the relatively small number of Huguenot nobility who we gave refuge to in the sixteenth century; we the ordinary people didn’t. Some of our nobility may be mutts, which is probably why so few of them give a damn about the country. However, the ordinary British people did not mix sexually with other races to any genetically significant degree until after the Empire Windrush incursion of 1948.

The native Americans include any number of tribes; the Apache, Cheyenne, Cherokee, Blackfoot, Navajo, Crow, Shawnee, Pawnee, Shoshone and Sioux to name but a few but nobody suggests they are anything other than a genetically distinct indigenous people. Kenya has some 40 tribes including the Kikuyu, the Luhya, the Luo (Obama’s tribe) Kamba, Samburu Kisii, Masai Meru and the Kalenjin. However, you would be met with screams of “racist” if you claimed there were no native Kenyans. We originate from three tribes and yet we are called mongrels, can you not see the lie?

—  Bloody Liars

It’s all good stuff, but my favourite part is “her disingenuous Quango appointee gob”.