Meanwhile, in my Chicago home, this article crossed my desk one morning at work… This is some quality reporting right here! And kudos to the anonymous bloke who set it out for me.
The Simpsons aired its landmark 600th episode and 27th “Treehouse of Horror” installment on Sunday. Now while we love Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie, the reason we keep returning to Springfield nearly three decades later has as much to do with the town’s other residents as it does the residents of 724 Evergreen Terrace. Two of USA TODAY’s biggest Simpsons fans, Brett Molina and Jayme Deerwester, make their cases for the series’ most valuable supporting character.
JAYME DEERWESTER: TEAM BOO-URNS
When it comes to Simpsons supporting characters ans especially the show’s villains, I have to hand the Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence to none other than… Charles Montgomery Burns, Homer’s boss at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. Smithers, release my talking points!
He’s a Funnier Version of a Political Candidate. In the 1990 episode “Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish,” Springfield’s richest man (and resident Citizen Kane stand-in) seeks to “embiggen” his dominion and do away with environmental regulations – by running for governor. When a PR stunt dinner goes sideways and dooms his chances of winning he laments, “This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one going to jail. That’s democracy for you.” Sound like anyone you know?
He’s Adorably Out of Touch. Practically every line out of the old man’s mouth is a history lesson for the whippersnappers. Only back in our day we didn’t have Wikipedia to look them up. No, we had to go down to the basement and haul out the encyclopedia. Like the time he goes to the post office and tells the clerk: “I’d like to send this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 autogryo?”
Without Him, We Wouldn’t Have Waylon Smithers. The relationship between Mr. Burns and his long-suffering executive assistant was the original study in workplace Stockholm syndrome. An animated Devil Wears Prada, if you will. Smithers got the Ramones to play at his boss’ birthday party and identified Homer Simpson for him more times than we can count. He even grew a spine once in a while which resulted in at least one resignation and, at long last, his coming out as a gay man last season.
He’s a Dog Lover. He keeps his hounds well-exercised by releasing them on every person who shows up at his gate. Sometimes, when he’s feeling generous, he releases therapy hounds. He even sings catchy ditties about dogs. No, wait, See My Vest was actually about skinning puppies for their coats. Bad example. Moving on…
He’s True to Himself. On rare occasion, Mr. Burns dusts off what little conscience he has and experiments with becoming a better human being. He bribed Homer to tutor him on being likable. When he went broke, he agreed to give up his evil was in exchange for Lisa’s help in regaining his fortune. He even tried to find love with Marge’s mom and Gloria, the ex-girlfriend of Snake, the Kwik-E-Mart robber. But ultimately he realized he was denying his true nature as illustrated in this conversation:
Homer: “To be loved, you have to be nice to people. Every day. But to be hated, you don’t have to do squat.
Mr. Burns: “You know, perhaps you’re right. I got so swept up with the notion of being loved (that) I completely forgot who I am. I’m a selfish old crank. And that fits me like a Speedo.
You know what? If a selfish old crank is good enough for Smithers, then he’s good enough for me, too. [Jayme Deerwester]
Choromatsu with the new hoodie design. He still wears the shirt inside his hoodie, but with a mid-size-sleeves-hoodie, the rest of the shirt’s sleeves should be visible? Or does he wear short sleeves shirt all this time?
This pretty much sums up Charlie’s long holiday weekend…staring down the bees in the nepeta, watching the Mets lose (several times 😡), splashing in his pool and spending quality time with Mr Chicken. Taking pictures of him doing these things pretty much sums up my weekend…plus wine! 🍷Happy 4th all 🎉🎉🎉
Is anybody else getting tired of this guy? You know who else is?
The man, the myth, the legend! I’m not digging this Eddie guy’s style so I did a little backdooring (it’s a word get over it) of my own. Time for some quality updates!
First and foremost, Mr. Eduade Despard, you’re sort of a dick. Secondly I heard you got knocked out by the same IT guy that is too afraid to sit under candles in the Great Hall. That’s sad dude. No wonder you had to take over this blog to feel like a tough guy again….
Well surprise buddy, this time you’re being beaten by a 6th year student using the internet browser on a Nintendo 3DS. I have a laptop, but I used my handheld instead just to rub in the fact that I can. Your move jerk.
Drawn and animated on my phone. And I know that Rumple uses many different wheels (and also that this isn’t an accurate representation of spinning), but it was certainly fun animation practice! Click on them to see each caption…