quaker factory

anonymous asked:

I found a piece of granola in my ass.... How did it get there?

While visiting las vegas last summer you decided to go to the quaker oats factory. You realized how much you love granola and remembered how there was a chapel in your hotel. You wanted to marry granola but you had no pockets to take the granola back to the hotel. So when no one looking you left the quaker oats tour group and  shoved as much granola into every hole in your body as humanly possible. When you went back to the hotel that evening you emptied your holes of the granola and married it, but you didn’t realize the granola was a boy. You got over your homophobic ways and decided to let the granola fuck you in the ass. You don’t remember this because you were granola drunk.

co-writer: donnythewolf