about the molestation travesty at Miramonte Elementary, but quite honestly I hate the thought of this shit going through my mind.
I’m sorry to the kids that were effected by these demons. I’m sorry, and I hope that you get the counselling you need. I’m sorry that your school district is a piece of shit. I’m sorry that your favorite teachers are being moved.
I’m sorry that none of this would’ve happened were it near a white neighborhood, or a richer neighborhood. I’m sorry that the adults failed you. I’m sorry for the things you will have to deal with, and I’m sorry that this is going to effect you for the rest of your life.
I’m thinking of you, and I’m sorry. You’re not alone.
I looked up images to post about this sin, and all I could find was rainbow flags and famous people. Since I love Tom Ford so much, this will have to do.
Pride is tricky. I think because for the most part it represents this high worth of self and being vain and shit. I don’t think this is what I’m thinking about though in context of this particular sin in the series.
Pride can be a lot of other things, besides your appearance. It can be this ‘holier than thou’ persona, or rationalization that makes you feel superior and everyone else below or beneath you. I think I feel like that a lot of times. Especially in my family and among the people who call themselves my friends. I don't necessarily feel narcissistic or above them, but in certain ideals and thoughts, I do feel that way. I’m going to keep this relatively short, mainly because this is more of a personal nugget of truth.
I want to change that thought, or at least open myself to the rest of the worlds thinking, that doesn’t have to resort to arguing over email/internet or over any other stupid thing IRL. Every time I make a bold statement, and justify my thinking and conclusion I often feel this bout of guilt – very later on though. Never initially. It’s a funny thing, pride. While people are proud to never beg, a lot of them are too proud to admit when they’ve been shitty people or condescending. There’s a fine line between realizing that thought, and just arguing for the sake of it or rejecting possibilities.
Pride is more than just a physical illness, its a disease that should never be acknowledged as its own entity… it’s counter productive to the whole 'being a good human being’ thing.
I guess it only makes sense that there are times where I want to shoot myself in the face. A huge pet peeve of mine revolves around the one thing I love and hate the most. The Internet. At work, though, I have to teach people in 2012 how to use the internet.
The thing that annoys me the most and literally makes me seeth at the thought of.. is that I’m computer savvy. If people have the internet, I assume that they can use it for the most part, right? I mean, am I wrong to think that most people already know what LOL means? They do right? I’ve heard those stories. About the silly Mom that LMFAO’s and Tweet’s her most random soccer-mom thoughts.
The one thing I think that sucks about my daily aspect is the part of my job that has to take in calls from customers or clients that don’t know how to use the website. Now, unfortunately I don’t just specialize in one part of the art process when it comes to work. I’m a social networking manager, and I’m also in the customer service department, mainly because like I mentioned in my last post – The Jewish family I work for thinks its better to bunch up a bunch of responsibilities in order to underpay and under value my expertise. I’ve hated customer service for a long time now, especially since I have a degree and don’t need to be helping idiots find out how to Google or email a picture.
This is the part of the Wrath sin. I get rage thinking about people who don’t know how to use the internet. THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ON THE INTERNET. WHY DEAR GOD ARE YOU CALLING TO ASK ME IF YOU HAVE AN ACCOUNT. WHY DO I NEED TO STOP WHAT I’M DOING, TO HELP YOU LOCATE THE ‘HELP’ BUTTON ON THE WEBSITE? It’s marked in red… it says HELP. Flashing.
I think its more-so my impatience for stupidity that just makes me angry. I know that common knowledge isn’t common, but damn dude. Really though? Like these people are idiots. Fucking, idiots actually. The worst part is when you attempt to be helpful and I can’t help but giggle when I get stupid ass fucking questions, they get angry. I’m sorry, I’m not 65 trying to use the internet. One time I got a lady asking “WHY DON’T YOU GUYS MAKE IT EASY LIKE FACEBOOK MAKES THE INTERNET EASY?" Well Señora Dip Shit, that’s because we’re not Facebook. Can you believe people still don’t know what the fuck PayPal is? Like are you for realz right now? Stop. My head hurts just thinking about it. On top of a day where I’m kinda stressed out a lil bit, it doesn’t help one bit. I want the weekend to be here already so I can stop stressing the fuck out and just sleep.
I think at the end of the day patience really is virtue. I’ve learned to control a lot of huge outbursts from customers, and I usually just take it as a grain of salt. Today was a perfect example of that, not only because these people were legally retarded but they also spoke in Spanish. I love being Latino and shit, I’m all about it.. but it was just a little too much at once. And I don’t know if you’ve ever spoken to anyone in spanish but latino sarcasm is worse than regular old sarcasm. It’s always frowned upon in this culture as being disrespectful, and after a while… speaking to customers that don’t know how to type or press buttons.. or better yet FOLLOW DIRECTION is insulting and disrespectful to the very core of my education. The sense of entitlement bothers me, but the pit of my stomach disagrees. So at the end of everything I’m at odds with what I know is morally wrong - and what I feel. I don’t want to be a dick, but stupid people get me beyond angry. I feel bad afterwards, followed by a greedy thought of "Fuck I hope my boss doesn’t find out..” resulting in a “Fuck this!” and a quick forgetful Pandora track change. I wonder how normal is it to disdain so much based on so little? I have no idea, but I don’t think I’ll ever find out. There are far too many people in the world to test that theory out.
So basically, I paid over $30,000 just to hear people that can’t log into a simple account? Really though.
The amount of sex that tumblr has on it is unfair. I can’t even get a taco when I want it, how is sex any different. If I do it won’t be any fun, it’ll be a chore and I’ll hate it and associate everything bad to it.
Is it so much to ask for dudes to be good at sex in general, as in, this should be a requirement when you graduate college or something. Excel at pleasing your partner.
No matter what anyone says, your friends aren’t who they say they are. They’re ghosts and shells of memories you shared and stored in your mind, because that’s how you choose to remember people. Feeling so disconnected from the people who swore their loyalty isn’t as bad or negative as you would think. It’s liberating, actually.
Why care about those, who refuse your loyalty. Fuck it, I’m better off disconnecting and moving on. I’m loyal to myself, because at the end of the day I won’t let myself down. Live, and let live.