pyramid beer

For A Long Time Looking at Stars

Pairing: Shane x Farmer
Genre: romance, hurt/comfort, slow burn, angst
Rating: explicit 
Warnings: suicide, self-harm, alcoholism
Summary: Taking place in a realistic Stardew Valley universe (no magic), this is a long, serious fic about falling in love while dealing with the ups and downs of mental illness. 

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CHAPTER 1

It was the last one of the night – Shane Daniels was out of money.

He tilted his head back, draining the lukewarm dregs from the bottom of his glass. It clanged loudly when dropped to the sticky wood table and he glanced around to see if the noise had startled anyone – to his surprise the saloon was alive with chatter and laughter, as distant to Shane as he was to it.

Though it was spring in the valley the nights were still long and chill, and while he’d felt suffocated in the warm stuffy bar, the outside air bit with unexpected teeth. Tugging his hood higher around his neck he shoved his hands in his pockets and slouched away from the muffled laughter.

Those three beers at Gus’s hadn’t been nearly enough.

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Gasolina

Pairing: Regulus Black x Lily Evans; background James Potter x Sirius Black

AU: Modern, non-magical, Tinder AU

Word Count: 2,331

Written For: @reghoulus + @takeupserpents [#regulily gospel crew]


Lily starts dating James Potter in early September.

It lasts three weeks.

She gently breaks up with him after he rearranges his entire class schedule—changing his proposed majorfrom Criminal Justice to Discrete Mathematics in the process—so that he can ‘spend more time with Sirius’.

James seems genuinely upset by the news.

“Is this about Sirius?” he bleats, slouching into the truly ridiculous depths of his burgundy leather couch. “Because the cuddling—it’s, like, super fucking no homo, okay, there are hand checks and a bro code and the bro code clearly states that morning wood is, like, subconscious, right, you can’t blame us for—”

Abruptly, he cuts himself off, squinting at a platinum Crate & Barrel candlestick like it might tell him exactly what was wrong with literally everything he’d just said.

Lily sighs.

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Health Benefits of Beer

I’ve been wanting to write about the health benefits of beer for a while, well, because there are many of them!  Also, I find lots of people coming up and joking about how unhealthy beer is and the mythical “beer belly” - when we’re actually referring to alcohol and how unhealthy copious amounts of it can be harmful.  Moral of the story - don’t hate on beer.

Vitiman B-apalooza

Probably the healthiest part of beer is the amount and types of Vitamin B it provides, especially in traditional English “real ales”, microbrews, and (of course) homebrews.

Yeast supply beer with nearly the entire range of B-complex vitamins.  In fact, one 12-oz can of beer contains 12.6% of a person’s daily B-6 vitamin intake! We see a higher presence of B-vitamins in unfiltered beers and homebrews where the Vitiman B is not filtered out.  When unfiltered, this vitamin actually helps combat the side-effects of alcohol, most notably hangovers.  Thanks, yeasties!

So, why isn’t beer the king of Vitamin B?  Well, alcohol kind of negates this as it lessens the body’s ability to absorb vitamins and minerals.  In theory, non-alcoholic beers are really the super-drink in this scenario where alcohol doesn’t impede on our vitamin absorption.

Fiber

Our grain provides quite a few nutrients as well.  Most notably, it provides a large amount of fiber!  In fact, a liter of beer contains 20% to 60% of our daily recommended intake of fiber!  Holy crap.  Derived from the barley cell walls, fiber helps aid in digestion, helps control blood-cholesterol levels and blood-sugar levels which, helps combat heart disease and type 2 diabetes. Hell yea fiber!

Other Good Stuff

Aside from being packed with great vitamins and fiber, beer is rich in other healthy elements.  Obviously, beer is rich in carbohydrates, which is why drinking beer post-run is great for replenishing those carbs and sugars.  Potassium makes a small appearance in beer as well as large levels of Niacin which maintain healthy bones and higher bone densities.

Another interesting element of beer is the amount of flavonoids found in it.  Flavonoids act as antioxidants, similar to the ones found in superfoods and green tea.  In fact, beer (especially lagers) contain higher concentrations of these antioxidants than green tea.  Seriously.  

So, again, why isn’t beer on the food pyramid?? Alcohol. 

The Beer Belly and other Bad Guys

Alcohol basically negates all things healthy in beer and is the actual culprit for the mythical “beer belly”.

Typically, those consuming enough beer on a regular basis to create a beer belly lead an inactive lifestyle with poor nutritional intake.  This alone is enough to give anyone a gut.  But, alcohol also aids in this process.  When consuming alcohol, you are lowering your inhibitions and typically eating high-sodium or unhealthy options when the alcohol-induced hunger comes on.

Another part of the beer belly theory has to do with our fat storage.  Alcohol not only lessens the body’s ability to absorb vitamins and minerals, it also lessens our ability to burn stored fat.  So, any fat you got in your pouch already is staying there because alcohol wants it to - not beer!

All in all, we should make it a point of calling it an “alcohol belly” because that is what gives us the plump.  Sorry, booze.

Natris Fanfic: Beer Pong

A Chris Evans (& Natris) one-shot

written by @mumbles411

Summary: The two Evans brothers go head to head in a dirty game of beer pong, their significant others make things more interesting.

Note: A big thank you to Amy for writing this! I feel like I kinda demanded her to because when we were discussing it, she was coming up with the hilarious plot AND I JUST HAD TO READ IT. Thanks for writing this amazing, hilarious piece, doll. Appreciated greatly. Cherished forever. :) And a big thank you to YOU, the person reading this. Enjoy! :)

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Natalia found herself talking to Scott’s new boyfriend Joe, and really seemed to like him.  Joe was meeting all of Scott’s friends tonight, because Chris and Scott decided that there was no better time to have a party at the Casa de Evans in Sudbury.  Chris’s mom had everyone over for dinner, including Carly and her husband.  Chris and Scott decided to call a few friends to see who was in the area, and before they knew it, a full fledged party was on their hands.  Natalia seriously wondered how they stayed so close with the majority of their childhood friends.

Joe and Natalia wandered in the direction of the ping pong table where Chris and Scott were setting up cups in the familiar pyramid style.

“Beer pong?”  Nat looked up at Chris who gave her a nod.

“Yup.  It’s not a real party without this favorite.”

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berry

“Got your bucket Hank?”

Standing next to him in the field a small distance from the Shack, Stan’s nephew gave him a massive gap toothed grin.

“Yes Grunkle Stan.”

“And what are you gonna pick?”

“Elderberries….can we eat them?”

“Um, didn’t exactly plan on eating them. And what else are you going to look for?”

“The snipe!”

Hank paused.

“Grunkle Stan, what does a snipe look like again?”

Stan waggled his hands even as he settled into the folding garden chair he had brought with him on this trip.

“It’s kind of green and scaly and furry and brown and it has legs and look kid, you’ll know it when you see it.”

“Okay Grunkle Stan!” Hank ran off into the field, and Stan settled in for a nice afternoon in the sun with some back issues of Fully Clothed Women.

Some would perhaps say that it wasn’t nice or good to both fool a six year old into a wild goose chase. Or use said six year old to gather berries you were going to use to make moonshine in the basement.

On the other hand, as much as he loved his nieces and nephews, it was hard being over sixty and constantly having to deal with three rambunctious small children.

Also unlike his sisters, Hank was a little gullible, so Stan could play the best tricks on him. Acacia….Acacia was a little too like him (worryingly so at times) to pull that shit on her.

Willow he hadn’t even bothered since last year when she looked at him, pupils blown, and let Stan know that “You turn brown when you lie Grunkle Stan.”

Hank on the other hand, believed everything that came out of Stan’s mouth, and while he tried not to betray that trust too much, sometimes he couldn’t help but fuck with the kid.

Like today, when it was just him and Hank. Mabel and the girls were safely out doing girl things like their nails or monster hunting with Mabel, and Henry and Dipper were occupied with fixing the truck yet again.  

Besides, it wasn’t going to hurt the kid to keep an extra eye out for critters in the field.

“Grunkle Stan?!” Hank cried out from by the fence.

“What Hank?”

“Will a snipe eat me?”

“No Hank, snipes just bite you until you swell up and explode,” Stan cried back, and returned to reading his magazine.

He never thought in a million years that he would actually be raising kids.

Well, helping to raise them, but considering they all lived in the same house, it was pretty much the same thing.

Point was, he had spent the past thirty years before Mabel and Dipper had come into his life making beer can pyramids in the living room, clipping his toenails at the kitchen table, and occasionally breaking half the bones in someone’s body and sending them to the hospital for a year.

He had never had to change a diaper (let alone a truck load of diapers), or stayed up half the night with a sick toddler, or got into the ‘why’ loop with a kindergartener.

Never held tiny hands in his own, and guided them through their first steps.

Never had small faces look up at him with complete and utter trust in their eyes.

Stan looked up from his magazine, to see a bright curly red head popping in and out of the elderberry bushes.

“Doing okay kid?”

“Half my bucket’s full!”

“Keep looking Hank, I need a whole bucket for liqu-stuff,”

“Okay!” Hank disappeared into the bushes again.

Stan looked back down to his magazine but didn’t really see the words, lost in his own thoughts.

He never thought he would be a grandfather.

Well. Technically a great-great grand uncle, but Mark was only around occasionally and in California to boot, if he ever saw Arnold on his property he would get his shotgun out and Stanley….

Stanley was long gone.

It terrified him, the trust that not just the kids, but Mabel and Henry and Dipper had in him.

He didn’t deserve their trust, their love, Stan knew that like he knew the back of his hands.

And Dipper and Mabel thought finding his box of fakes was bad. Hah! If they had any idea of even a fourth of what he had done in his life the-

“GRUNKLE STAN!”

His head shot up to see Hank running for him at full speed, being chased by something large with lots of legs and green and brown and scaly and furry and -

No.

No fucking way.

“I found the snipe!” Hank cried as he launched himself into Stan’s arms.

“Yeah, I can see Hank,” Stan grunted under the weight of his nephew as he turned and ran for the car.

“He’s gaining on us!” Hank cried and Stan’s heart constricted, not just from the effort of running and carrying a six year old boy who was already over four feet tall, but at the fear he heard in Hank’s voice.

“Are we going to get eaten?” Hank asked as Stan got to the car and unceremoniously chucked him in the back seat.

Stan reached under the driver’s seat to get the shotgun he kept there.

“Not today Hank, not today.”

Hank grinned at Stan.

“You’re the coolest, Grunkle Stan,” Hank said, and then buckled his seat belt like they had taught him to.

Well.

Fuck.

Since he had to live up to that, Stan turned to the approaching snipe and yelled “Not today you weird leg monster thing!”

He had said better one liners before, but the nice thing about six year olds was that they were easy to impress.

anonymous asked:

JUST IMAGINE ALL THE BOGANS SITTING OUT THE FRONT IN PLASTIC CHAIRS WITH TINS OF VB SAYING 'FUCK' EVERY 20 SECONDS FOR NO REASON AS THEY TRY AND BUILD THE BIGGEST BEER CAN PYRAMID.

Fenny: “fuckin ‘el Ando ya fucking mong ya knocked the can”

Ando: “aw fuck off ya fucking goose ya shit”

Hawkey: “oi shut the fuck up wud’ja I’m trying to watch the footy”