couldn’t believe how lucky you had been! Only six people had been
selected in the whole country and you got to be one of them! An
interstellar alliance had recently made contact with Earth and offered
six lucky people - randomly drawn, of course - the chance for a year
long cruise through the galaxy.
You were greeted on the ship and
led to a cozy room with soft carpet and cushy chairs to sit in. You had
been the first to arrive, but the other winners had quickly followed. As
the six of you - three men and three women - sat and chatted excitedly
amongst yourselves, you couldn’t believe how swanky this ship was.
Especially given it had been designed by other species. Soon, a
human-looking man in a suit greeted you all.
chirped, with an enormous grin on his face. “We’re beginning takeoff as I
speak, but you shouldn’t feel any turbulence. And don’t worry, this
ship is the safest the alliance has to offer. And, of course, you will
all be well taken care of during your stay on this ship with your new
“Mates?!” all six of you cried.
“Why, of course,” he stated, as if it were obvious. “Didn’t anyone tell you?”
“Well, it’s only for a year, right?” one of the other women offered hopefully.
not,” your host retorted, sounding almost offended. “All of the species
you’ve been paired with mate for life. As I understand it, you humans
are monogamous, are you not?”
“Sometimes,” one of the men snorted with a smirk.
Another man appeared confused. “But how could we mate with different species? Obviously there will be no offspring.”
host rolled his eyes. “You humans are so behind, technologically. We
are more than capable of making all of you compatible with your new
“Aren’t you human?” you asked.
“No,” he replied
patiently. “I’m a shape-shifter. And you’re all very lucky none of you
are going to be impregnated by my species. Our females are pregnant for
five years,” he informed them with a smirk. “Obviously all of you will
carry your young for different lengths of time, though. Two of you will
be assigned to each species, but even if you have the same species,
there will be variance in the lengths of time you each carry the young.”
“Each?!” the three men cried.
“We’re not getting pregnant, right?” a small, pale man asked.
most certainly are,” the shape-shifter corrected. He received a ping on
a device and a large smile split onto his face. “Okay, each of your
mates is prepped in a room for all of you, so after your physical, you
can go straight to them.”
You were then ushered off into an
examination room as you were thoroughly examined - particularly in your
child-bearing abilities. Just when you thought all the poking and
prodding was over, you were given multiple injections all over from your
neck to your uterus. At first you didn’t feel anything but after a few
moments you began to feel…strange.
“Don’t worry, honey,” the
nurse - who was a reptilian species - told you in an attempt to be
comforting. “Molzon hormones tend to make you feel a little funny, but
you’re just fine.”
As she lead you to where your ‘mate’ awaited, you asked her, “What’s a Molzon?”
they’re amphibious,” she drawled. “If I’ve read my human folklore
correctly, then they’re kind of like your mermaids. Except: instead of a
fish tail, they have tentacles as their lower half. You seem like a
sweet girl, so I’m sure you and him will get along just fine.”
stared expectantly at you as you stood outside the door. Feeling as
though you were going to throw up from a combination of nervousness and
Molzon hormones, you opened the door.
Inside, you saw him and he
was close to what the nurse had described. He was a sort of octopus
merman with blue-green skin that was shifting color slightly. However,
unlike the mermen conjured in your imagination, he a little thick around
the middle. It almost looked a little like a beer belly. He noticed you
come in and his eyes grew wide as he blushed. “Oh, hi!” His voice
cracked nervously. “I thought you might want to have some dinner, first.
That’s what humans do, right?”
He appeared unsure as to whether
or not what he’d done was appropriate, so you nodded silently as he lead
you to a candlelit table - like something you’d see at a fancy
You knew you were staring, but you couldn’t really
help it. After all, he was an alien species. He appeared to have very
little difficulty walking above water with his tentacles and because his
tentacles were so long, he was about seven feet tall.
went surprisingly well, given the circumstances and Zeri, that was his
name, was actually a total sweetheart. He enjoyed puzzles and playing
musical instruments, and reading. The nerdy Molzon would have been
exactly your type…had he been human.
“This isn’t fair to you,” he
stuttered after dinner. “I know a female of my species would be much
better suited-” But he cut himself off with a slight groan before
stuttering out, “Did they give you the hormones, already?”
“Yeah,” you squeaked back.
began massaging his belly and whimpering. “I’m so sorry,” he cried,
before gently pulling you into an adjoining room that had a large,
marine pool. He gently removed your clothes and eased you into the pool,
before doubling over and moaning in pain, clutching his belly again.
Then, as he lowered himself into the pool, he began panting and moaning a
little as he tried to explain. “The pheromones…ghhnnng…they make
me….hoo hoo hoo….I can’t stop….gaaah!” he gave a sharp cry, continuing
to rub his belly, which appeared to be…clenching? “I have to mate.”
he let out a monumental groan before pulling you to the middle of the
pool, careful to keep your head above water. You felt something begin to
prod around your vagina before unceremoniously entering. You gave a
pained cry, causing Zeri to flinch, but he didn’t stop and you felt the
appendage slide far up into you, past your cervix, and enter your
You were trembling from the pain and Zeri continued to
stutter out apologies as his eyes watered from the great deal of pain he
was obviously in, too. His tentacles held you in place as his human
arms wrapped around his middle and he let out something between a groan
and a grunt. “Hnnngggg.” His face slackened a little in relief as you
saw a large object come out of his body, slowly begin traveling up the
appendage he had inserted inside you before it, too, began prodding at
“Zeri,” you cried in a panic.
“I’m so sorry.”
object forced its way into your vagina, eliciting a scream of pain from
you as it traveled slowly up to deposit itself in your uterus. The
result was a slightly distended belly, while Zeri’s belly looked
He moaned again, grunting and crying as another came out of him to force its way into you again.
This process continued for the better part of two hours and you were now HUGE - filled with eight of the damn things.
is…the last…one,” Zeri huffed, having difficulty breathing from all the
effort exerted on his part. He continued uttering apologies as he began
to expel the final egg. But this one took a lot longer than the others.
“Ggghhh,” he grunted after twenty minutes, before giving out a
startling cry as the egg left his body.
As you saw it traveling
towards you, you found out why he’d had so much difficulty. The eggs,
which had all been about the size of an elephant bird egg, paled in
comparison to this one, which was almost twice as big as the others.
“No, no, no, no, no,” you bawled, as it inched closer. “Please, no,” you
sobbed as it began to make contact with your already sore pussy. But of
course, it went in, anyway. You thought for sure you would be ripped in
half and die as the ninth one was shoved in, but it made it into your
uterus, just as the others did.
“One final part,” he promised.
liquid began to pump out of his appendage and fill you. Your belly,
once misshapen due to the lumpy eggs, began to smooth out and expand
even further. You gasped and wheezed through the next few minutes as you
were pumped with the fluid.
Then, it was finally over. Zeri, as
sweaty as he was, and as much as he panted, helped you out of the water,
though his tentacles were far from steady. It was difficult for you to
stay upright since you felt as though you’d gained over 100 pounds since
entering the water and, looking at your girth, that was definitely
possible. You couldn’t wrap your arms entirely around your belly and
there was about five or six inches between your fingertips when you
tried. “I’m sure your exhausted,” he huffed, trying to keep both of you
upright. “I’ll take you to your room.”
Your room was luxurious to say the least. You wanted to shower, but decided against it and just collapsed onto the bed, naked.
arrange for some clothes to be brought for you tomorrow that should
fit.” He had the biggest look of guilt you’d ever seen. “I’m so sorry,”
he cried again, before leaving you alone.
You covered yourself
with blankets, painfully aware of your newly distended belly. It was
impossible to get comfortable with how angry the stretched skin felt and
the extra weight, but you tried to sleep nonetheless. As Zeri had
suspected, you were indeed exhausted.
The final thought that popped into your head as you drifted off was: how long will I be like this?
Here are some puzzles and challenges that rely on music made for those special bards in your campaign!
The Gibbering Obelisk
A small obelisk with many mouths sings a dissonant tone. When a musician finds the right note, they can make the dissonant sound into a harmonious chord and solve the puzzle. Have the bard make a Performance check to see how good their ears are for this. You could have the dissonant note change each time it is harmonized, and solve the puzzle on the third successful check, and reset on a failed check.
Definitely Not Zelda
In a very Lost Woods scenario, the players are travelling through identical rooms and have become lost in a looping illusion; only able to escape by traversing the correct sequence of doorways. The players hear a short lick from a doorway, but they are not sure which one, as it came and went so quickly. The bard can mimic the musical phrase with a successful Performance check or by acting it out. When the phrase is successfully mimicked, the lick will play again. Hopefully this time the PCs were listening! By going back and forth with the unseen musician, the players can follow it out of the trap.
A prop puzzle in which players each have a one-note instrument (whistle, chime, drum, horn, etc.) that plays a different note, perhaps with a number attached to it. Signify this in the dungeon with instruments mounted on pedestals or something (so it requires more than one person to solve the puzzle). Searching the room or decoding a message reveals the correct order to play the notes in. The bard can read the music properly and leads the players (out-of-game) in the performance by pointing or calling out each note in turn as the other players respond by playing their note. This is easier said than done, as my family has tried this a few times using the toys from themed Christmas crackers
Walk this Way
A tiled room has different letters on each tile, each no higher than G, hinting that they are musical notes. A looping song is being sung from a Magic Mouth or a ghost somewhere in the room, with a distinct pause to indicate the start and end of the tune. The tiles must be stepped on in the correct order to cross the room safely and unlock the door. If a tile is stepped on incorrectly or out of order it will produce a painful electric shock for the person stepping on it. The bard can figure out the starting note and can make Performance checks to get hints on how many steps higher or lower the next note in the sequence is. The key is to estimate the next note based on the previous note. I would stay away from sharps and flats, here; the simpler the better.
Play for Us
There are a four stone doors in an echoing chamber. Each door has a relief of a human upon it, each with a different expression. One is angry, one is solemn, one is happy, and one appears scared or surprised. A short poem (perhaps found earlier, or maybe simply in the room) hints that you must sing or play a song appropriate for the audience; “four friends came to hear four songs” or something like that. The bard must improvise a song (you can have the actual player do so, or just have them make a Performance check) that evokes the emotion shown by a door. When this is done, it will open the door with the bust that enjoys the song the most. Perhaps the busts animate when the players sing or play.
A riddle requires the players to sing or play a “traditional” elven/dwarven/gnomish/folk song in the campaign universe. The bard must make a History check to remember such a song from their travels. Alternatively, the players could return to an appropriate town to seek out the answer if the bard fails this check. Regardless, the bard is able to perform the song and solve the puzzle.
Sorry to the lovely anon who sent this who I lost the request for. I remember reading it and specifically wanting to write it too!
You had a sudden craving to bake and baking took priority over time. Even if it was just after 4am. Especially if it was just after 4am. Charles lay asleep in the bed beside you, his head rested delicately on the pillow and his eyes closed. You slipped out of bed, careful not to wake him and tiptoed down to the kitchen.
After five minutes of painfully silent baking, you decided to put music on. So you did, dancing along as you stirred the bowl of sugar and other ingredients.
Charles woke with a headache, so decided to go and get water. He was too tired to notice the bed was empty and groggily stumbled down to the kitchen. As he neared, he heard music. Puzzled, and slightly more awake, he recognised it as your favourite song. He entered the kitchen, but stopped in the doorway, a smile appearing on his lips. He chuckled quietly, watching as your gentle swaying turned into energetic dancing as you whisked something in a bowl. He leaned against the doorframe, biting his lip to keep from alerting you to his presence with his laughter.
A figure came to stand beside him. Erik’s face showed a completely confused, face as he watched you, dancing and baking at 5 in the morning.
Charles grinned, motioning for Erik to not say anything too loud.
“What the heck is she doing? It’s 5am!” Erik hissed, glancing at you to make sure you hadn’t heard.
Smiling as he watched you, Charles whispered under his breath “I believe she’s dancing and baking.”
“Her music woke me up.” Erik grumbled.
Charles laughed, quietly and at that moment, you turned around, spinning with the bowl. Your hair flipped over your shoulder as you stopped abrubtly to face them and your mouth dropped open slightly.
Erik waved a hand in greeting, “Morning. Sort of.”
You quickly put the bowl on the counter before you dropped it.
“How long have you been there?” You asked.
“Since your music woke me up.” Erik grumbled, using the metal spoon to press the ‘off’ button on the stereo. With that, he left to go back to bed, merely grunting at your apology.
Charles was in a fit of laughter, so he pulled you into a hug, resting his head on top of yours.
“You’re adorable.” He mumbled, rubbing your back gently.
It was your turn to laugh.
“No, really. 5am baking? I love you.” Charles said, pulling away.
You pressed your lips to his, feeling his smile. It was good to see him smile.
“What are you baking?”
“Chocolate chip cookies.” You grinned.
“Brilliant. Can I help?”
“Of course.” You took his hand, leading him over to the counter and turning on the music again, just a bit quieter than before.
And together, yourself and Charles danced and did 5am baking.
When Kirby first meets Adeleine she has been possessed by Dark Matter and forced to fight Kirby by using her paintbrush to create enemies. Once she is defeated, she agrees to accompany Kirby on his journey. She will appear occasionally to give him items and help solve puzzles. This music is also used in the ability select screen of Kirby Fighters.