putting me last

First of all, thank you all for 600 followers! I honestly appreciate y’all so much, being on tumblr these last couple of months in particular has really helped me through some tough times. Y’all should be proud of the kind, beautiful human beings you are. Now that’s out the way, some of my favourite blogs:

Some cuties I talk to often:

@vintagesam // @stanfordsammy​ // @bela-talbot​ // @sheriffjodes​ // @michonneswife​ // @pastelsastiel

#-m

@1800callsam / @acesammy / @aliciabanes / @always-keep-writing@angelicmeg / @brothersandpain@celestialhalos / @cheerfulsammy@deantulip / @edgyboyking / @enochiansam / @envydean@fawnjensen  @freckly-sunshine / @glowingdean / @holydarkhallelujah / @holyhael  @hopesam / @impxla / @joharvelle / @lafitte / @lovelybenny / @lovelyspn @muffincastiel 

p-x

@patchworksam​ / @piningbrothers​ / @precioussammy​ / @pretttypadalecki@radiant-sam​ / @rebelrowena​  / @rowenasbabe​  / @royalrowena@saintedsam​ / @samsheaven​ / @samtulip​ / @saviordean​ / @softboysam@stanfordwincest​ / @stardustsam​ / @sugarpadalecki​ / @sweetpadalecki@teamfrwill​ / @tequilasdean​ / @willingwinchester​ / @winchestiers@withhisbrother​ / @womenofsupernatural​ / @xwingmen​ 

I totally 100% recommend all of these lovely lovely people go check their blogs out!! I hope you all have a lovely day ^-^

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anonymous asked:

(TW: abuse/csa/homophobia) Hey Sopheriel. How are you doing? I have a question about abusers. Do you think abusers can change for the better? I ask because I live with someone who has emotionally (amongst other things...) abused me for about 15+ years now, since I was 5 years old. She's gotten better since last year but now I'm very confused as to how to deal with her now. She ain't doing anything bad; she's just trying to get close to me. She's never been an affectionate (contdg

(2)person. She would push me off of her when I would try to hug her when I was around 7 years old, and when she WAS affectionate, it was creepy because it was like night and day. Shes insulted me and put me down and just last year we had an argument and she lied on me to my mom. I am an incredibly honest person and my mom and I were shocked. She’s homophobic and thinks that me being molested as a child isn’t as bad as me being queer (I don’t identify as gay, and that’s for personal (contd) (3)reasons; I don’t see it as a slur for personal reasons). She’s said and done some mean stuff to me, including turning me against my mom when I was a little kid and manipulating me. “Forgive.” I hear that word often, but I don’t think I can do it…I’m trying to meet her halfway, but in the back of my mind I’m always thinking, “What if she changed again?” You give her an inch and she takes a yard. She’s been “nice” before and when I gave her a chance, she turned back to her old self. (Contd) (4)She doesn’t accept me being queer & she said just last night that me and a guy would have made a nice couple. Idk what to do. I’m literally giving you a watered down version of her behavior from my childhood to now. My mom said she’s trying & to be nice to her, but I feel like survivors have to do all of the work while abusers just sit back & get pity. Am I being mean? Should I just give in & be nice to her? I just can’t seem to trust her. Thank you very much. Sorry for the long message. =(”

No need to apologize for the long message, this is important stuff! And I’d be happy to share my own thoughts on this, since I’ve dealt with a lot of this too. 

I do think abusers can change, since I think humans are incredibly adaptive and intelligent and have so much potential for greatness. But, I don’t think abusive behavior is changed overnight. I think it takes consistent effort and work to break old behavioral patters and rewrite newer and healthier ones. Just like how many of us have to spend a lot of time changes behaviors we don’t want to continue about ourselves–abuse is like this, but often more deeply engrained. 

I don’t think it’s necessary, nor fair, to give an abuser forgiveness right up front. It’s on them to understand that trust, kindness, and openness from you must be earned and that you’re never obligated to give it. You don’t even have to keep her in your life if you didn’t want to. You have every right to walk away and cut ties completely, even while she may be changing for the better. 

But, many of us do want to see things change for the better so we choose to stick around. Since it sounds like this is probably what you’re going to experience, here’s my advice. 

First, set clear boundaries. Say up front that you were hurt for a long time, that you don’t trust her, and that you’re going to need time. If you have particular boundaries to set (i.e. I’m not comfortable with my identity being criticized) you can share those too. That way, it’s on her to respect those boundaries. Not respecting them is unhealthy and, at worst, manipulation and/or abuse. Also, setting boundaries (and sticking to them) will ensure that she can’t take a yard when you gave an inch. Your boundaries will say “nope, you can only have an inch!”

(This video talks a lot about boundaries and not feeling guilty about your needs!)

Unfortunately, some people do see boundaries as harsh or mean. But they’re totally not! They’re the key ingredient to all healthy relationships and, although sometimes they’re hard to bring up or respect, they are so so important. And there’s nothing mean about them. You have every right to say “I’m not comfortable with this/don’t do this” and have that be that. It’s not mean to set these boundaries. 

That being said, it doesn’t mean you won’t be criticized for them. But, as you face this situation, stand in your own truth. Know that it’s not on you to give in and be nice and forgive. Your role is to protect yourself, walk cautiously around this and, if you want, give her a chance to change. But you don’t owe her anything. She hurt you and your safety and wellbeing comes first. That’s not a toxic or mean thing at all, that’s basic survival. 

Help me fundraise for a service dog? I only need another $376 to reach the halfway mark! <3

(CHESTER BENNINGTON//a light has gone out)

Are these rope-knots strong enough
To send me to my
Forever sleep?

Or are these pills enough
To put me to my
Last oblivion?

No, how deep do I have to cut?
To bleed it all out and drive myself to my
Darkest destination?

The options are plenty,
But the reasons not to do it
Are never plenty,
Or is it?

The rope is already hanging
On the ceiling since a week ago
Haunting me as I cry myself to sleep
I try to count all the blessings I’ve got
But I cannot move past 3 fingers
And in the end,
I think I always know what I’d choose.

The answers to why I should do it
Are always plenty
But the answer to why I shouldn’t do it
Are not as plenty
So I think I’ve made up my mind.

I put a chair under the rope.
And I thought,
Who cares if one more light goes out?
There are millions stars out there.
Yes, this is it.
I don’t need to feel numb anymore.
No more sorrow.
I smile.
Ah, one step closer,
And I’ll belong somewhere,
I truly belong.

Good goodbye.

Look, the Emo Kylo Ren meme was fun and relevant for a while, but now that we have seen Luke Skywalker

- hang out with Kylo Ren for like a decade
- run away to the middle of nowhere to brood and search for meaning
- slowly and dramatically remove his hood
- look at a laser sword with more emotion than I have ever looked at anyone
- dump all his newfound religious angst onto an unsuspecting freshman
- be the third Skywalker man in a row to attempt to end the Jedi
- announce his intention to do so while mysteriously silhouetted in a shadowed doorway
- give us an honest to god Kubrick stare with his face bathed in This-Isn’t-Your-Dad’s-Star-Wars Red
- possibly live in a tree??

I think it’s pretty clear there’s a New Emo in town and I fully expect us as a fandom to give him the tough love memeing all Skywalker men deserve

10

for centuries our families fought together,
against their common enemy. 
despite their differences. together. 
we need to do the same if we’re gonna survive. 
because the enemy is real.

mini messengers.

5

in which I edit beautiful black sails caps (part III)

“Until all that remains of any of it are stories bearing only a passing resemblance to the world the rest of us lived in.”

It seriously blows my mind how much quality content the Hannibal fandom is still putting out damn near two years removed from the last airing of the show on NBC. I saw that post about the fandom apparently ~disappearing and that could not be further from the truth???? And the content this fandom produces is some serious high quality, gourmet shit. The art blows my mind. The fic blows my mind. The AUs and the humor and the depth of analysis all blow my mind. The people. The amazing, wonderful, darling people. You all blow my mind with how wonderful you are every single day.

Basically I love you guys more than I can ever express let’s all be friends forever. <3

Originally posted by existingcharactersdiehorribly

anonymous asked:

top 5 haikyuu asses? #babygotback

Top 5 best asses in haikyuu???

Look at that booty. Show me the booty. Gimme the booty. I want the booty. Back up tha booty. I need tha booty. I like the booty. Oh, what a booty!

1. Bokuto. I HAVE DIED EVERY DAY WAITING FOR THE MOMENT I COULD USE THIS GIF!!! I mean, this is not just me being blinded by love, this actually the best haikyuu booty @whoever did this animation: THANK YOU  

Originally posted by bokutoisbae

2. Kuroo. I’M BRINGING SAXY BACK NYAA!  

Originally posted by manganimae

3. Oikawa. Again, I feel like thanking the animators for this. (Iwa-chan got booty too tho)  

4. Daichi. #confirmed by Suga

Originally posted by xmaymaychan33x

5. Yaku. Our favorite kitty libero put the ass in sass 

Originally posted by 2700lagostas

- Bonus: our favorite russian lion got A+ booty too and with this it’s safe to say that Nekoma wins the “Team with the best asses” award and if you think about it it’s such a Nekoma thing to do they don’t have the very best™ but still together they could steal the prize away from the team that’s on the top (look at me managing to say something serious here at the very end). 

Originally posted by iizumis

- Bonus #2: Makki must have a pretty fine piece of ass too apparently 

Originally posted by tobsana

I’M SORRY….OR AM I???

Thank you for your messages!

Ask me my top 5 things!

4

Founded by Salazar Slytherin, the house is traditionally home to students who exhibit such traits as cunning, resourcefulness, and ambition. Its emblematic animal is a snake and its colours are green and silver.

Happy Birthday Drea!! Part 6