putting food up

it’s so weird hearing americans talk about Target© as some kind of semi-religious holy space of reasonably priced goods and services, bc in it’s short, fever-dream existence up here in the frozen north it was… Not Good. 

in my experience with the three (3) i went to in the surrounding area it was. uh. you know when you step into a place and there’s nothing immediately noticeably wrong but you can just Feel that this is a Bad Space? like the kind of space where if you catch a glimpse of your mother walking down an aisle and turning a corner you know it’s a demonic trick and if you follow her it’ll lead you down a path to a dark space you can’t return from?

or you go in with your friend who’s right next to you but you get a text from them saying “hey i’m in the shoe aisle, you should come here” and you know it’s a trap from the devil? like other things:

  • only half of the dim, washed out, often flickering fluorescent lights were lit at any given time, usually only every-other set, leaving these valleys of darkness that made entire aisles inaccessible for fear of shadow people latching on to your soul like a dark passenger. 
  • entire sections were just Empty. empty shelves with no product, never any employees filling them up, no boxes waiting to be unpacked, no signs saying what should be there.
  • no employees at all actually? wandering around the store even though the parking lots were full and you walked in with a group of 20 or so felt so lonely. you could walk the whole place and it was dead silent and the only other “people” around always were several aisles away with their back turned, unmoving. there was always only one cashier and there was never anyone in her line.
  • there was never any music on or announcements played? another place that does this are all the dollar trees in my area and it gives me anxiety. i feel like i’m being hunted, like i have to hold my breath and listen for the footsteps of beasts in other aisles. 
  • the fitting rooms had a strange, dark energy to them. it felt like if you ever used them, whatever universe you closed the door on would not be the same one you stepped out into when you were done. the washrooms also contained this same dark energy.
  • passing the employees-only doors felt like wandering too close to a bears den. the glass windows never showed anything going on back there, no racks of product, no employees milling around. it was just pitch black, complete darkness. a hungry void.
  • leaving a target was the same disorienting feeling as leaving a dark theatre and exiting into the light. sound and colour and feeling rush back in. you feel like you can breathe again. a weight is lifted from your shoulders. you can’t remember any of the time you spent inside the target.

it is my sincere belief that the targets in canada never existed. the storefronts were put up, yes, but the stores themselves were vast empty caverns filled with dark dreams and sinister interlopers attracted to the malignant leftover energies from zellers. passing through the automatic doors was meant to teleport us to the nearest american location, but something went wrong and we entered an unnatural zone halfway between the upside down and whatever it was that happened in the langoliers. 

i believe the balls outside target are carefully crafted and powerfully attuned magical artifacts that keep up the illusion known as Target©, but were incorrectly spaced in canada due to a mixup between the metric and imperial systems of measurement, and that is why the brief twilight zone episode that was canadian target collapsed virtually overnight.

mini messengers.

Another Silly Sportarobbie Headcanon

Robbie Rotten only uses affectionate names for Sportacus for two reasons
1.  When he is being privately affectionate.
2.  When he is absolutely 100% done with Sportacus.

For example:
*Sportacus is in the middle of making food and is being 200% more extra™ about it than he really ought to be*
Robbie: “Sportacus?”
Sportacus: “Yes Robbie?”
Robbie: “Light of my life?  Bringer of my joy?  Apple Strudel of my Eye?”
Sportacus: “Yes…?”
Robbie: “- the reason I get up in the morning and what beckons me to bed every eve…”
Sportacus: “… Um… Robbie?  You only say things like that when you are either really happy or very frustrated…”
Robbie: “Take a wild guess.”
Sportacus: “… Oh.  Sorry Robbie! :}D”

Things the Citadel DLC doesn’t let you do so now I have to headcanon it instead:

So you can buy all this furniture for the apartment (ignoring the fact that all my furniture is buggy as hell so every time I come back to the apartment it’s like Glyph decided to redecorate while I was out). But you know what they don’t let you buy?

A second fridge.

They probably didn’t think of it because they’re not as nerdy as I am. But now I have to headcanon that eventually Shepard buys a second fridge for the apartment.

A blue one.

And she puts a red stripe on the one already in the apartment.

And all Shepard’s food goes into the striped one.

And the coloured coding is super important and she has them on opposite sides of the kitchen facing each other so it’s nearly impossible to get confused which on is which. Because that’s very important and having a turian bae means you gotta bring some effort from your side as well and he should have his own fridge in Shepard’s apartment.

small flame.

anonymous asked:

Can you please do tom taking care of you when you're on your period? I love you

Tom Holland taking care of you while you’re on your period would include

  • Literal mass hysteria
  • poor boy wouldn’t know what to do but he’d want to help
  • well I mean he wouldn’t be clueless like he’d know what happening but he’d have it in his head that all the stereotypes would happen and you’d be really cranky and crying and craving chocolate 
  • he’d defiantly be the type of guy who’d go to the store to get pad/tampons if you were out without any shame
  • he wouldn’t know which ones to get so he gets one of each 
  • he’d remember which ones you used for the next time tho
  • him googling ‘‘can you bleed out from your period…asking for a friend’‘
  • will want to hold you every time you got cramps
  • ‘‘I can get you a hot water bottle babe,wait what about medicine?can you take medicine for it?’‘
  • will get you chocolate because he heard that’s what girls crave while their on their period
  • will refill your hot water bottle every hour on the hour
  • a lot of you reassuring him that your fine
  • will snuggle you a lot
  • ‘‘how long do these things last’‘
  • will handle any mood swings like a champ™
  • will call mom for advice but won’t admit to it 
  • if you bleed through your pants and ur super embarrassed he’d just help you clean up without a worry in the world
  • will rub ur tummy and ur back whenever ur cramps strike
  • will have a movie night in with you with lots of junk food 
  • he’ll put up your tossing and turning at night 
  • he’d honestly just be really kind and understanding and amazing what a sweet boy 

OBLIGATORY 666 FOLLOW FOREVER // BIAS LIST.

when i made my first blog last year, i never  ( in a million years ) would’ve guessed i’d ever accumulate this number of followers. ever. with my on and off activity, n’ mass shitposting, i’m surprised i ever even surpassed 100. way more important than numbers, though, are the people who i’ve met & interacted with here, and who have inspired me – or encouraged me to stick around, when i wasn’t feeling it.  ™

i’ve said it countless times – & i’ll say it when i’m on my deathbed : i love cloud strife. he was the first muse i wanted to pick up, but i decided against it because he was already such a popular character and muse. finally making this blog back in october of 2016 wasn’t a mistake. despite being painfully awkward, i’ve met a ton of people ; some i speak to regularly, and others  ( – my bad  not so much. 

all the same  ( gross i appreciate everyone sticking around. ffvii has been a part of my life quite literally since the year i was born, and having some means of conveying how much it (& cloud ) means to me is pretty therapeutic, n’ relaxing. i won’t ramble much more, anyhow. i’m not gonna tag most everyone in the list below, obviously, but i’ll make some mentions. the usual stuff, right ?  cloud voice: let’s mosey.

Keep reading

Dinner Reservations (Trimberly Writings)

So we all know that Kimberly Hart can’t cook to save her life. She basically burns everything she touches or it’s just flat out terrible. It’s essentially indisputable fact. But picture, if you will:

It’s a few weeks after Rita. Kim and Trini have been hanging out a lot (donut dates, study dates, sleepless sleepovers) and Trini’s started to develop a major crush on the pink ranger. Said girl is a little clueless and far too affectionate with her new best friend (RIP Trini).

Kim invites Trini over one night because her parents are away on vacation or something and she had felt spontaneous and decided to cook something. Trini pops over and watches Kim flit about the kitchen with hearts in her eyes. Kim is being her usual flirtatious and cheeky self and Trini’s surprisingly matching her stride for stride, successfully flirting back and teasing the other girl. Kim spoons some sauce and feeds it to Trini.

And poor Trini’s too focused on the way Kim’s biting her lip and how close she is, she doesn’t hesitate to take a bite. And almost immediately chokes.

It’s absolutely disgusting.

First instinct is to find the nearest trash and burn the leftovers, but Kim’s watching her with the most hopeful look in her eyes and an almost shy smile and Trini just can’t. So she smiles around a mouthful of mush and swallows hard. It’s almost worth it just to see Kim smile like that at her and she doesn’t turn down every subsequent bite just to keep Kim smiling.

By the time she finally makes it home she’d eaten half of Kim’s mystery meal and she has to spend the night in the bathroom. (Almost worth it)

A few days later Kim invites Trini over for dinner with Kim’s whole family, whom she’s met a few times before since the Harts are a tightly knit family and absolutely love Trini (for reasons she has yet to understand). During dinner one of Kim’s older brother Ravi brings up Kim’s terrible cooking. Kim says she made food the other night and Trini ate it just fine. Everyone stops and watches as Trini’s face goes beat red and jaws drop.

“Whoa. True love really does exist.” -Kala (Kim’s older sister). Ravi starts slow clapping and Ted Hart tells Trini she’s got incredible endurance. Trini spends the rest of the dinner staring at her plate and avoiding Kim’s eye.

Later when Kim drags Trini out her window (because doors? what doors?) and they’re out at one of Kim’s spots in the mountains, she asks Trini why she ate the food if it was that bad. Trini stumbles a little but finally says that she didn’t want to hurt Kim’s feelings and admits she liked the way Kim smiled at her.

Trini’s ready for the ground to swallow her whole and never show her face ever again. What she’s not ready for is the sound of Kim laughing, hearty and wholesome, and she laughs until tears trek down her cheeks and she can’t breathe. Trini’s face is hot and she huffs, a little annoyed that Kim’s laughing at her, but Kim shakes her head and grabs Trini’s burning cheeks and pulls her close so.

“I can’t believe you put up with food poisoning just because you like me. I think I’m obligated to marry you now.”

Trini’s shook. Kim laughs and kisses her. They spend the rest of the night making out under the stars.

Bonus:

  • Trini tries to teach Kim how to cook
  • they somehow melt a metal pot and the stove explodes
  • Trini makes authentic enchiladas for the Harts
    • Ravi: “Kimmy, please marry this girl.”
    • Kim *smirking*: “Probably.”
    • No one’s surprised (And Maddy wins the bet on when Kim would come out/admit she was dating Trini)
BTS when they come home to a moaning girlfriend

Seokjin

Seokjin came home really late that day, already expecting you to be in bed when he started getting ready for it. What he didn’t expect to hear means from the bedroom.
He got to the bedroom really confused, he knew you weren’t cheating on you cause a) you didn’t have it in you and yoiu guys had an honesty police in place, plus you knew he would be home around this time, and you weren’t stupid enough to cheat on him when you kne whe were almost there!
When he opened the door, what he was meet with was a lot less sexy than expected, instead it was you lying in foster position hold you stomach in pain.

Originally posted by yoongiski

“oh god are you okay?”
“No my menstrual pains are trying to kill me.”

Yoongi

Let’s be real here. This boy does not know how to stop working we all know this. So when he does come home he basically zombie Yoongi and if he hears anything it really doesn’t register until like 5 mins after he heard it. So as he is walking through the door he absently notes that a loud moan echos through house and recognizes it as your voice. But it wasn’t until he almost reaches the bedroom door it actually processes in his brain. He stops where he is standing and listens through the door and sure enough he hears you moaning again. With his trademark smirk on his face he opens the door to find you… doing squats? What the hell? The confusion was clear on his face as he watched you moving up and down and giving a pitiful sound resembling a moan but was more pitiful than sexy. This was clearly not what he was expecting.

Originally posted by imonaworldtour


“Uh babe. Why the hell are you doing squats… and why does it sound like it hurts?!”

Hoseok

He had been out grocery shopping when he came home arms full of bags. He was humming out Mamma Mia by K.A.R.A and totally did not hear you. He was mid dance/putting up the food in cabinet and the refrigerator when he finally heard it.  A moan. We all know our Hobi as the happy sunshine mood maker of the group but there are times when he is not his confident self. Normally this when he feels like he didn’t do his best on a dance rehearsal or if he feels like he has let the group down somehow. Or when it comes to you. He loves you so much and you are so perfect and amazing that he genuinely worries that someone who actually deserves you will come and sweep you off your feet. So with a heavy heart he walks down the hall to your shared bedroom. He can hear more moans coming quicker and louder. With any warning he opened the door prepared for the worst… Which is not what he saw. In stead you were cross legged on the bed fully dressed typing away at your computer while your phone was playing a porno. What the fuck? Turns out you were writing a sex scene in your book and you needed to see some visuals to get the scene write. 

Originally posted by notjhope

“Well this is not what was I was expecting…”

Namjoon

So we all know that Namjoon is a slight pervert, when he came over to visit you much earlier than planned and heard your moans from your bedroom his mind would instantly go to ‘time to get frisky!’ thinking that you were having some fun without him, he had it all planned out in his head!
He would be really sauve about it, with a cheeky smile and witty and sexy comment blow you away, but instead when he opened the door witty comment on his lips what he saw was very different, you half behind your bed trying to push it out, which was a lost battle cause you had needed 3 friends to even get it on the right spot!

Originally posted by nnochu

“What are you doing?!”
“My hair tie fell behind the bed and it is the only one I have left!”

Jimin

Like Hoseok, Jimin has his low days. He has struggled with his self image for most of the time you knew him. He has been working on keeping the toxic thoughts pushed down and with your help he has been successful. Yet there are days when he just is not having a good day. Today was one of those day. So as he walked home from the gym he knew that all he needed was to be in your arms so you can tell him how amazing he is. Unlike Hoseok however he has complete and utter faith in your relationship just by the sheer amount of things you two had gone through. So when he walks in through the door and dropping his gym bag in the entry and he hears the moan? Well his mind goes straight to in appropriate thoughts. He toes off his shoes and nearly runs to the bedroom when he suddenly realizes that… you were not home. He listens again and recognizes the moaning. With a angry jerk he throws the door open so hard it bounces a little. There is Taehyung and his girlfriend having sex. On his and yours bed. 

Originally posted by saintminyoongi

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME KIM TAEHYUNG?!”

Ignore the smile in the gif if you can it was more of the wide “I am going to kill you” eyes that I was going for…

Taehyung

Visions of you in lacy undergarments filled his mind when he walked through the door after voice practice. He had been thinking about you all day and it didn’t help that you told you had a surprise for him when he got home. He was especially worked up and at the very moment you walked into the hallway and heard you moan he hand to physically restrain himself from running into the bedroom and pouncing on you. But you deserved to be wined and dined and wined and dined you will get. He was already planning out the rest of the evening in his head (after a couple of rounds of sex of course) but as entered in the bedroom the predatory smile on his face fell instantly. Why you ask? Because when he walked in he saw you on the floor gripping your ankle and let out another moan that sounded painful. Now that he thinks about it the moans he heard before were  not your normal “happy” sounds. He sigh and kneels beside you carefully feeling along your ankle. He should of known you were going to hurt yourself somehow. You are a walking accident especially in the 3 inch stiletto heels you were wearing with the lacy teddy nightgown. At least you two were on the same brain path before you nearly broke an ankle.

Originally posted by toughchim

“How many times are going to nearly snap your neck before you realize that these damn heels are not worth it, Jagi.” 

Jungkook

Jungkook wanted to surprise you since you didn’t even know he was back in Korea! He was so looking forward to it, but when he got into your apartment he heard your moans he couldn’t stop himself from grinning!
He would never think that you were cheating on him, masturbation was a normal and healthy thing to do even if you were in a relationship, he stood outside of your day just listening for a second, feeling how his pants were getting tighter with the thought of what was going on behind the door.
He was thinking over all the things you could be doing, were you using a toy? Would you moan out his name, but then your moans turned a lot more painful and he got worried at his more or less broke open the door, to see you on your toes trying to reaching your spare ps4 controller you were keeping in a box above your bed. Awww… Here he was getting ready for smexxy time.

Originally posted by grape-joon

“I feel cock blocked.”
“What? Jungkook what are you doing home!? Why do you look so sad?”


Authors note:

This was a combined effort from both of us! Hope you enjoyed!

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