put it in the fruit bowl

Batfam as Tweets and Tumblr Shitposts™
  • Dick: Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
  • Steph: That was deep
  • Tim: Philosophy is wondering if that means ketchup is a smoothie
  • Steph: That was deeper
  • Jason: Common sense is knowing that ketchup isn't a damn smoothie YOU NASTY!
  • -------
  • Tim: What if trees cried because we started eating their fruit because their fruit is basically their babies. So every time we eat an apple or something, we're eating a tree baby
  • Damian: *Slowly backs away from the fruit bowl looking stricken*
  • Bruce: *Not looking up from his newspaper* we're eating their ovaries actually
  • --------
  • Jason: That feeling you get when you're angry
  • Dick: Anger
  • --------
  • Steph: Boys are so lucky to have boners to tell them when they're horny because girls are just like damn am I horny or am I hungry or am I bored I don't know I don't have a dick
  • --------
  • Jason: If I cut off my foot and like swing it at your head am I kicking or hitting you?
  • Tim: You'll most likely mentally scar me more than anything else
  • ---------
  • Dick: Carpe diem seize the day. Carpe noctem seize the night. Carpe natem seize the ass.
  • ---------
  • Jason: 80% exhaustion 10% sarcasm 20% don't care
  • Tim: That's 110%
  • Jason: 20% of me doesn't care
  • Tim: Should've seen that coming
  • ----------
  • Bruce: *Mary Poppins voice* okay children time to go
  • [Fifteen minutes later]
  • Bruce: *Batman voice* I said let's go
  • -----------
  • Alfred: Who ate all the cookies?
  • Dick: Ninjas
  • Alfred: I didn't see them
  • Dick: No one ever does
  • -----------
  • Bruce: *Calls up pizza place*
  • Bruce: WHY WOULD YOU CUT MY PIZZA SO UNEVEN? IF YOU ARE TRYING TO TEAR MY FAMILY APART IT'S WORKING
How to stay Positive 🐝

1. Be yourself. Live authentically. To quote Dr. Suess, “There is no one alive that is you’er than you.” Don’t try to be someone you’re not to impress people. You will always be happiest when you are being your true self.

2. Contribute to the world in any way that you can. Maybe for you that’s picking up garbage on your way home from work, or giving money to a homeless person on the street, but you will become a more positive person if you are giving back.

3. Be grateful. Acknowledge how fortunate you are and be thankful that you have simple things like heating, food, and shelter. If you are grateful you will always be able to think more positively.

4. Be optimistic. So maybe you missed your 10:30 showing of Beauty And The Beast, are there later showings? Can you plan a rain check? Wouldn’t coffee be nice instead?

5. Surround yourself with positive people. Odds are, if you spend your time with negative people you’ll become more negative. When we are around positive people we become more positive ourselves.

6. Don’t be discouraged. You will never fail until you stop trying!

7. Be a realist. Everyone has their bad days, everyone. Lest,  I remind you that Walt Disney, J.K. Rowling, and Steven Spielberg, were all rejected before they ever succeeded.

8. Be like Elsa and let it go. Okay so Elsa may not have been the most positive person at first, but by the end of the movie she learned to make a positive out of what was once a negative situation! Don’t hold on to anger, fear, or hurt. Keep moving forward and forgive others and yourself.

9. Help someone else. It’s so easy to make someone’s entire day. Compliment someone’s new clothes or hair cut, hold doors open for people, smile at strangers and share inspirational quotes with friends. You will feel so much happier and positive if you make someone else feel that way.

10. Kick fear to the curb. Stop letting “what if’s” control your life. Be brave and trying something new, or do something that might scare you. Doing something is always better than doing nothing; you might just surprise yourself!

11. Stop and smell the roses. Appreciate everything around you: sights, smells, music. When we don’t take time to breathe we become stressed.

12. Put down those chips. Junk food might make you feel good for a moment but it will only make you feel unhappy down the road. Swap a milkshake for a smoothie, Soda for a glass of water or a cup of green tea, ice cream for a fruit bowl and so on. We can actually eat a lot more raw foods than processed foods without gaining weight or feeling bloated.

13. Get out there. Make plans! Stop scrolling through instagram and snap stories feeling bad about yourself because it’s a Friday night and you’re at home. It’s always nice to stay in every now and then but it’s also enjoyable to get out into the world and socialize.

14. Get your beauty sleep. 7 hours minimum to function and 8 ideally. It’s impossible to be positive when you’re cranky from not getting enough z’s.

15. Exercise. Find the exercise for you. Maybe it’s swimming, hiking, cycling, yoga, dance, or basketball. Working out will make you feel powerful, happy, and accomplished.

16. Don’t compare yourself to others. Other people’s beauty does not take away from your own. Yes, Sarah from math class has a really nice smile…but have you seen yours? Wow.

17. Accept yourself.  Change what you can change and love what you can’t.

18. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Take yourself out of the situation. Is this really a big deal? Will it affect you tomorrow? What about next week? Next month?

19. Be empathetic. Your friend just cancelled your plans for the evening because he is feeling too anxious. What can you say to show him that you’re accepting of his situation? Can you offer up an alternative plan? People want to spend time with people who are kind and accepting of them.

20. Accept that life isn’t linear. There are always going to be ups and downs and that is absolutely normal! You just have to ride the wave  instead of letting yourself drown.

study snacks for cramming and all-nighters

first of all, the important thing here is that you actually eat. your body is being deprived of rest, and it’s going to need more fuel than usual to keep going. as tempting as it is to eat an entire party sized bag of m&ms in one study session, you’re going to need protein so that your brain and body can function properly

nuts: one of the easiest options out there. plenty of protein, good for you, and effortless to eat. grab a big bowl of them and keep it next to you while studying so you can grab a handful every few minutes

berries or sliced fruit: look, just eating fruits and veggies will make you feel healthy and put together. they have tons of nutrients and taste great. just be careful to not stain your notes with juice!

raw veggies: if you want to go for maximum healthiness, try chopping up a red pepper or cucumber, or getting a bowl of baby carrots or cherry tomatoes. they’re crunchy, satisfying, and taste surprisingly good

eggs: you can make them a thousand different ways, and it takes less than ten minutes to cook and eat them. great source of protein and perfect to scarf down during a study break

if you want something less healthy that still has some nutritional value

peanut butter and nutella: my go-to when i’m in need of something substantial to eat but i just want chocolate. mix about 1/3 of a jar of peanut butter and 1/3 of a jar of nutella in a bowl until they’re evenly blended, and eat the mixture by the spoonful (maybe add in strawberries if you’re feeling healthy)

hot chocolate: hey, at least the milk has a bit of protein in it. needing more protein is a totally valid reason to drink seven cups in one night, but please brush your teeth afterwards

milk and cookies: again, milk. and solid food. be careful to not get drops of milk on your papers! (black tea with milk and sugar is great with cookies too)

and realistically, sometimes you just need to eat crap

ice cream: just dump an entire pint into a bowl, bring it into your room, and eat the whole thing. it’ll make you marginally happier about doing homework

ice cream bars: like ice cream, but they make you feel a little bit more like you’ve got your shit together. same goes for popsicles, and you can buy a ton of them for pretty cheap

hard candies and lollipops: justified by the fact that you’re not looking away from your work every few seconds to get another bite, and sour flavors can keep you awake and feeling lively

chips and salsa: if you’re going to be up all night studying, you might as well make it feel like a bit of a party. bonus points if you make your own fresh salsa

microwave popcorn: heaven on earth, to be honest. it is incredibly salty though, so definitely be sure to have a glass of water or two on hand

have fun snacking, and be careful to not get food all over your notes!!

What if He Freaks? (B. Barnes x Reader)

Word Count: 2386

Warnings: smut, daddy kink.

A/N: I didn’t read this over, please point out any mistakes.

Steve had ushered you, Natasha and Wanda up to your room, telling you to “bond” and “relax” he was literally like the scolding parent. You all agreed that it would be nice to have a girls night and as most sleepovers go, you ended up drunk talking about your love lives and your impossible crushes.

Wanda was going on about Vis and how certain things would work, while you and Natasha were talking about Steve and Bucky, the dynamic duo.

“So, Natasha, if could sleep with either Steve or Bucky, who would you pick?” Natasha had to think, but she ended up picking Steve as you thought she would. Both your heads turned to Wanda, who blushed profusely.

“I’m spoken for.” She said, her light accent slipping towards the end of her sentence. Natasha wasn’t fazed, but you were momentarily shocked.

“I knew you and Vision had suppressed feelings, but you’re together now?!” She laughed and nodded and you smacked her arm.

“Tell me sooner next time, yeah?”

“What about you Y/N?” You had to think.

“Steve.” You answered after much thought.
“I feel like he’d be better. Bucky has been through… too much, he’d be … nervous.” You finished.

There was a pause and then Nat spoke up.
“I feel like Bucky has a Daddy kink.”

You nearly spit out your drink at the thought.

“Now, I really wanna call him Daddy, but what if he freaks out.” You said, recovering.

Both Wanda and Nat were laughing at the idea of the Winter Soldier freaking out over a silly nickname, but it was a serious concern. What if you called him Daddy as a joke and he got mad.

Why should you care? You decided you would do it.

“Alright alright, Y/N, truth or dare?” Wanda asked. You smirked, feeling brave.

“Dare.” The two girl exchanged looks and you knew you’d made a bad decision

“I dare you to ask Steve out.” You sighed in relief.

“Oh that’s not so bad.”

“With Bucky there, and you have to be flirty about it.”

“Well that’s a little bit worse, but I’ll do it.” They both watched you expectantly.
“N-not right now! Guys it’s two am!” You scolded. It was time to sleep, you’d all be nursing light hangovers in the morning, or afternoon, depending on when you woke.

None of you had hangovers as bad as you’d expected, except Wanda, who woke suddenly and rushed to the bathroom. After Wanda cleaned up and took some Advil she looked at you with pleading eyes.

“You should ask Steve out to dinner tonight, it’s Saturday and neither of you have any plans.” You agreed seeing as it was the only way to get the girls to leave you alone.

Your little trio took the lift down to the kitchen and you immediately spotted Steve and Bucky talking. You plastered a flirtatious smile on your face and walked over to the two soldiers.

“Hey Steve, can I talk to you for a moment?”
Both boys glanced at you for a moment before Steve answered.

“Of course Y/N. What’s up?”

“Are you free tonight, I was hoping you’d accompany me to dinner?” The intimidating super soldier was momentarily flustered.

“Y-you mean like a date?” Your smile brightened.

“Yeah, like a date.” He nodded.

“I’d love to. Uhm, I’ll come pick you up at 6?”

“That’s perfect.” You turned to the girls who were pretending not to listen. You sat at the table and they both pryed you for details. You answered all of their questions until eventually, they left you alone. You took the stairs this time, taking your time going back to your room. It was almost six and you needed at LEAST 15 minutes to get ready for your date. You didn’t bother showering, you had done that this morning, but you did put on makeup. You threw on the dress Nat had laid out for you and admired the finished product. You looked stunning.

Steve was on time, as you’d expected. What you didn’t expect was for him to be the perfect gentleman, he even brought you flowers. He held the door to your car after insisting that he drive because he already picked a restaurant.

When you arrived, Steve ran around the car to let you out, against your protests. He even linked your arm with his.

“For someone with no experience with girls, you’re surprisingly good at this.” His face flushed red and he thanked you, obviously pleased that you approved.

The date went smoothly, since you were already friends you discussed missions (wow what a great date topic) and your lives. You honestly had a great time and you were pretty sure Steve did too.
Since you didn’t have an apartment for him to drop you at, he walked you to the door to your room. You both stopped and turned to look at each other.
“I had a great time tonight Y/N, thank you for taking me out.”

“Oh, it’s no problem, I had fun too.”
He looked down at you and stepped forward, taking your hip and pulling youa bit closer, he leaned down and captured your lips in a soft kiss. You kissed back a bit harder, telling him it was okay. When you realized what was happening, you pushed him away.
“I’m sorry Steve, I-I can’t. I have to go.” You hung your head and retreated into your room. You stripped from your dress and put on shorts and a sweater.
You couldn’t sleep, you were tossing and turning, but you felt really bad. You tossed your blankets off and walked to your desk, taking parchment and a pen. You couldn’t just leave Steve hanging, so you wrote him a note.
Hey Steve, I had a great time last night and that kiss was great, but I don’t like you as anything more than a friend. I’m sorry that I lead you on like that and I hope we can stay friends.
From Y/N

You walked the hall, following the familiar path to Steve’s room. You slipped the paper under his door and made your way downstairs, maybe some tea would help you sleep.

You were relieved that no one was in the kitchen, otherwise you’d have to explain what had happened on your date. You grabbed a tea bag out of the box on the counter and put some water in the kettle. As high tech as Tony’s kitchen was, you preferred to do things the old fashioned way.
You were fiddling with the tea bag and almost jumped out of your skin when you looked up. Bucky was standing in the door frame. You cocked your eyebrow at him.

“What are you doing up?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” He said quietly. You moved out of his way so he could grab an apple from the fruit bowl behind you.

“How was your date?” He questioned, eyeing you out of the corner of his eye.

“I don’t know, I had a great time, but I don’t think I like Steve like that. I think I have feelings for someone else” Bucky halted his actions.

“But you kissed him?” Your face flushed red.

“You saw?” His jaw clenched.

“Yeah. You don’t like Steve because you have feelings for someone else, who would that be?” Your eyes widened a fraction and you flushed red, stuttering to find an answer. You couldn’t outright say it was him, that’d be too embarrassing. So instead you stuttered to find and answer.

Bucky smirked and you flushed even harder because it was evident that he knew.

“Oh c'mon, it’s just me, doll, nothing to be nervous about.” He took a step closer and your heart stopped.

“You can tell me.” He said, stepping closer and placing a hand on your waist. You back into the counter, your face was the color of flame and you couldn’t find the words to speak.

The kettle broke into a whistle and the air rushed back to you, you ducked out of Bucky’s constricting grasp and spun to grab your cup. You had your back turned to him, pouring the boiling water over the tea bag, you couldn’t believe how much you were shaking and you nearly dropped the cup when Bucky’s hand was placed over yours to help steady you. You placed the pot back on the stove and leaned on the counter, facing the man with the metal arm.

The smirk he gave you spoke volumes and you tried to smile back.

“I’ll just be going then, back to bed.” He said, turning on his heel. You debated whether or not to call after him, you wanted company, especially if it was his.
“Wait.” You called at his retreating figure.
“Stay.” You said, barely suppressing a whimper.

“Now that’s what I wanted to hear.” He said, his voice deep and gravely. He turned back around and walked towards you, he took the mug gently from your hand, placing it on the table a few feet away.

“Hey! I was drinking that!” I scolded.

“You’re not anymore.” He stated with finality. The dominance in his voice had the heat pooling between your legs and you knew you were done for.

He positioned himself between your legs and brought his hand to your waist, pulling you flush against him. You gasped at the sudden contact, almost loosing your footing. He brought his other hand up to steady you and slowly leaned down. He stopped when his lips brushed yours, asking for permission. You leaned up into him, giving him all the permission he needed. The second your lips touched he trailed his hands down your back until they were resting on the backs of your legs. A sign for you to jump. You did as he asked and he hoisted you up, hooking your legs around his hips. A soft moan escaped your lips when he attached his lips to the sensitive spot on your neck.

“We can’t do this here, sugar, let’s take this to my room.” He suggested. Words failed you, so you nodded, detatching yourself from him and taking his hand instead.

You abandoned your tea and walked hand in hand with Bucky down the corridor in complete silence, you didn’t need words. He was rubbing comforting circles over your knuckles.

He opened his door gently, making sure not to wake the whole tower. You smirked to yourself and slamed the door behind you, pushing him up against the door and capturing his lips with his own.

He gasped at your sudden dominance, grabbing your hips and pulling you flush against him.

He slid his hand up under your sweater and you raised your arms for him. He threw it across the room and then followed it with his own shirt.

He only let you marvel at his body for a moment before he brought himself back to you, picking you up. He carried you to the bed and dropped you, taking a step back to admire you.

“You look so good laying there for me, doll. Take your shorts off.”

You did as you were told, stripping yourself of the constricting garment. He watched your every movement with lust-filled eyes. He dropped his pants in one fluid movement, stepping out of them.
Your eyes dropped to the massive bulge in his pants and you heard him laugh. He straddled your hips, trailing kisses from your neck down.  You tangled your fingers in his hair and pulled his face back you yours, kissing him passionately.

One hand dropped from his hair to his boxers as you palmed him through the fabric, he groaned and you could feel him twitching beneath your touch.

“Fuck doll, you gotta stop” you did as you were told, instead, pulling down his boxers and wrapping your small hand around his cock. He inhaled sharply, tensing under your touch. He pulled your hand away and for a moment you were discouraged.

He laid a chaste kiss on your cheek and whispered in your ear.

“You first.” The bed shifted as he got off, kneeling next to the end. He adjusted you so that your legs were around his neck.

“I like this view.” He added and you blushed at the comment, choosing not to answer. He placed a kiss on your clothed core, causing you to buck your hips upwards. He laughed and removed your panties, placing another kiss, but this time he held your hips in place. He licked his way from your entrance to your clit, nibbling on the bundle of nerves.

His eyes never once left your face, when you moaned his name he stopped, you groaned at the loss of contact and opened your eyes. Bucky had a stern look on his face.
“What’d wrong Buck?’ You questioned.

“That’s not my name tonight. You call me ‘Daddy’, understand?” The combination of his deep voice and the dominance had you shell shocked.

“Y-yes Daddy.” You ignored the embarrassment of him obviously overhearing you and instead enjoyed his praise. He went to work on your chest, massaging your hardened nipples with both hands.

“Do you like that doll?”

“Yes, Daddy, please, more.” You begged.

“Oh don’t worry, I’m not done yet.”

He lined himself up with your entrance and slid himself into you. You gasped, adjusting to his size. He paused a moment, letting you adjust before he pulled out, slamming back into you not a second later. He transitioned between soft and hard, looking for your g spot, when he hit it you moaned his name, loudly.

“Tell Daddy how much you love to feel him slamming into you”

“I love it Daddy, please, harder."  He groaned and slammed into you at an alarming rate, both of you were chasing your high. The sound of your moans and the slapping of skin resonated through the empty room. The bubble that had been building in your stomach popped and you bucked your hips upward, screaming Bucky’s name. Not long after you felt the warmth if his seed on your stomach and his body collapsing next to you. You both sat, catching your breath.

Bucky spoke up in the silence.

"Let’s get you cleaned up, baby girl.”

“Yes, Daddy.”

Tags:

@magellan-88

dumb shit that’s happened 2 me working as a cleaner for rich ppl vol. 1

i was booked to clean this house on one of the alleys that comes off oxford street and it was a three bedroom 4 bathroom apartment in one of those renovated 18th century town houses (so easily like £3-4 million) and when i got there the owner was like “could you focus on the kitchen the most bc we have flies for some reason!! i don’t know how they got here we never open windows” anyway so this dude leaves and i go to the kitchen and they have this giant bowl of fruits and vegetables on the table that are fully rotten. like the lemons are bright blue, the onions are literally just husks and they have easily been festering there for like a month and they’re covered in flies. so im like wtf…? throw them out, clean the bowl, spray and wipe down the table and open the windows to let in some air cos the whole place smells like rotten food. a few hours later im done w the whole house and the dude comes back and he’s like “oh my god where’s the bowl from the dinner table???” and im like “…..u mean the rotten food you had out in the middle of ur house….i threw them out that’s why you had flies it isn’t a good idea to leave fruit or veg out for longer than 2-3 days tops, especially at this time of year.” and this dude FLIPS HIS LID like “those were from FRANCE they were ORGANIC we were going to put the onions into our DINNER how could you THROW THEM OUT without consulting me.” this man, who lives in a £3 million apartment and is presumably wildly successful in some thing that pays very well didn’t understand the concept of fruit and vegetables being organic matter that rot and decompose and attract insects. he called my manager and everything he was so mad at me for throwing that shit out. white people never cease to amaze me, got them rotten turnips out front and centre on the dinner table as home decor smh. this is why y’all nearly got wiped out by the plague. honestly

pda || b.b

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: a view of Bucky and his struggle with PDA.

Warnings: fluffy fluff !!

Word Count: 1.3k

A/N: thank you to whoever requested this and y’all i uploaded this in front of people yikes yikes


Bucky had never been big on public display’s of affection, preferring to keep himself to himself. Not only that, but he never got a chance to see why people around him seemed to constantly rub their PDA in his face as he jogged in central park or grabbed a coffee from his coffee shop down the street. 

That was, until he met you. 

Keep reading

Sleeping pills and knockout drops “hidden” beneath a mattress.

Muddy shoes “hidden” on top of an ironing board.

Suction cups “hidden” in a random hallway fruit bowl.

…ok, so… as implausible as it is for the gang to always find the random clues like this, I have a bigger question:

What would happen if the bad guys just put their incriminating evidence away somewhere logical?

Like, imagine if the gang started in on a mystery, but the bad guy tidied up and put his stuff in just a big ol’ locked chest.

“Jinkies! Oh well, gang. Guess now we’ll never be able to solve this mystery by accidentally walking into the exact clues we need in random locations.”

Anti-climactic? Maybe. Teaches kids a good lesson about tidying up? Definitely.
Late Night Snacks and Underwear - 1

Fandom: Marvel’s Avengers

Summary:  Y/N and Peter run into each other late one night.

Words: 1,000 on the dot

Paring/Characters: PeterParkerxStark!Reader, Mentions of the other avengers

Warning: Mentions of partial nudity? Awkward Peetie?

Author’s Note: So, I have a lot more written for this one, but I’ve never written Peter before so I wasn’t sure if anyone would be interested. Let me know I guess and I can keep this one going for a little.


Originally posted by peterparkerimagine

“Toothbrush!” You exclaimed to yourself and immediately clamped a hand over your mouth. You almost slipped on the wood floor in your fuzzy socks as you hushed your packing revelation. Everyone else was asleep and you’d never hear the end of it if you woke them up, especially with the early morning coming.

Keep reading

  • Godric: Guys, where should we put the kitchens?
  • Rowena: How about a little ridd-
  • Godric: Godamn it Rowena, the children are not answering riddles to get into a kitchen
  • Salazar: How about a nice simple door?
  • Helga: No, it'll be behind a painting of a fruit bowl
  • Rowena: Okay, fair enough but how-
  • Helga: You have to tickle the pear to get in
  • Godric: Tickle the pear...?
  • Helga: Yes
  • Salazar: Helga, in the nicest possible way, how high are you?
  • Helga: No Salazar, it's 'Hi, how are you'
  • Salazar: Oh Merlin
the legacy of b. knight

“It’s Ford’s first meal at the Haus, so everyone be on your best behaviors, alright?” Bitty bustled around the kitchen, a bowl of biscuit dough tucked under one arm as he gave the gravy on the stove a stir. Though it wasn’t an official Team Brunch, Bitty was pulling out all the stops for Ford: biscuits and gravy, fruit salad, hash browns, Canadian and normal bacon, as much coffee as could be brewed at one time… 

“We’re always on our best behavior,” Holster said with a yawn. He and Ransom were slumped together at the counter, lethargically slicing fruit at Bitty’s command. 

“Yeah, Bits, we’re upstanding gentlemen,” Ransom said, grabbing Holster’s hand before he sliced his own finger. Holster gave him a sheepish grin and reluctantly put his glasses on.  

Keep reading

Artisan Good: Jelly

Description: Gooey.
Game ingredients: Any fruit (1)
Difficulty: Medium, 1 day. Makes about 7 jars of jelly (250mL each)

This recipe is specifically for apple or crabapple jelly. If you want to use a different fruit, just about every box of pectin has an instruction sheet inside that will provide the accurate amount of sugar needed. The overall premise is basically the same with any fruit, though.

-16 medium apples or 56 crabapples
-½ teaspoon butter or margarine
-7 cups of sugar
-1 package of pectin

You will need a jellybag/cheesecloth and jars with rings and lids. Although, my grandmother sends us home with blackberry jelly in washed out salsa jars, so it’s not entirely necessary to have canning jars if you know what you’re doing.

I used crabapples for this recipe. I doubled it and worked with half at a time (don’t try to do it all at once if you’re doubling up; it’s kind of an exact science). Start off by cutting the apples into quarters. You can skip this step with crabapples. Throw the fruit into a large pot and fill it with water til it’s about half-way up the apples. Boil over high heat, and then bring down to a simmer. Put the lid on and let it sit for about half an hour, or til the fruit is soft. 

Mash the fruit down with a potato masher. Don’t worry about missing large chunks, just try to mash down as much as possible. Let it simmer another 5 minutes or so. 

Place the jellybag/cheesecloth in a large bowl. Carefully scoop the mashed fruit into the bag, but try not to get any in the bowl; that’ll be collecting the jelly juice. Once the bag is full, tie it tightly to a broomhandle and suspend it over the bowl. Let it sit overnight. 

With a measuring cup, spoon the juice from the bowl into a large pot, counting the number of cups of juice going in. You should have roughly 5 cups (1250mL).

Before proceeding, wash your jars, rings, and lids. Place the jars and rings in the sink and fill with very hot water, enough to fully cover the jars. Take the lids and place them in a saucepan with plenty of water on the stove. Alternate the lids between face-up and face-down, this will make them much easier to grab. Heat the water over medium heat, but don’t let it boil. 

Add the butter and pectin to the jelly juice, and heat over high heat. Stir constantly. Once the juice reaches a hard boil that can’t be stirred back down, add the sugar all at once. It’s a good idea to measure it out in a bowl beforehand. 

Stir the sugar until it dissolves, and let it come back up to a hard boil. Stir constantly while it boils for 1 full minute. Once done, turn off the stove and let it sit for about a minute while the foam rises to the surface. Skim off the foam with a knife or spoon to remove it. 

Take a jar from the sink and shake off the excess water. Place a funnel in the jar and scoop the jelly in. Do not fill the jar completely full, always leave a bit of room at the top (I usually fill to the middle thread). Wipe down the rim of the jar with a clean, damp cloth to remove any jelly. Take a lid from the saucepan (you can use a butter knife to help grab them if the water is too hot to touch) and place it on the jar. Take a ring from the sink and tightly secure it into place.

It’s important for everything to be quite hot while putting the jelly into the jars. As the jelly cools, it will create a vacuum and suck down the lid, which seals it. The lid will make a pop! sound as it does so. 

Serve on toast, pancakes, waffles, or use in baking as you please. 

-SVR

7

Keeping cool can be tricky when you’re coated in thick insulating feathers, help your feathered friends cool down with some of these activities!

  • Allow access to a shallow dish of cold water (most heat escapes from their feet and beak, getting their feathers wet can trap heat let them walk around in cool water to help cool down)
  • Put perches or cushions in the freezer to cool them
  • Feed them some homemade sugar-free fruit popsicles 
  • Put ice cubs in water bowls, frequently check if they’re thirsty by placing them on to the dish
  • Tie an ice pack to the wall of the cage, place something chewable between the bars and the ice pack so the bird can’t chew the ice pack.  The ice pack will cool the bars and air around them. 
  • Offer frozen berries
  • Provide water-rich foods such as fruits or lettuces to ensure they’re getting enough fluids
  • Make cold fruit juices (no added sugars)
  • Supply daily bathing opportunities
  • Have a fan blowing out the mesh-covered window to draw hot air out, keep inside doors open to allow for more air circulation
  • Close the blinds if there’s direct sunlight

Also read up on the signs of heat stroke and immediate care response! Take care and keep cool!

Easy customizable spell for all purposes

Originally posted by blackgirlbruja

this spell is very simple and customizable to fit pretty much any purpose, wether you wish to get rid of bad energy, or need some good luck and money to come your way!

what you’ll need;

-a cleaning sponge, in whatever colour matches your intent

-a sigil for whatever you wish to attract

-fruit colouring

-bowl of lukewarm water

-*herbs corresponding to your intent

—————————————————————–

1.cut a hole in your sponge, not all the way trough so that you can stuff ya sigil in it without it falling trough in the other side.

2.*put different herbs inside the sponge to suit what you wish to achieve

3.put your sigil in the sponge and drip the food colouring in the water

4.when you feel the sigil/ sponge have soaked enough, take it up, dry the sigil and have it with you wherever you go.
or you can dispose of it, if you’ve used it to soak up all the negative energy in your room/ house/ wherever

Mission Bad Boy - 13

Plot: What if you could win 100,000 Won by giving someone a makeover? But here’s the catch – you have 6 months to turn a nerdy, anti-social male into the school’s biggest heartthrob.

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x Reader

Genre: Angst, Highschool au!

Warnings: verbal abuse, physical abuse, smut warnings - semi-public sex(?)

Notes: Its not over yet, don’t get excited. Gif isn’t mine, credit goes to the owner. Nominate me for the aching hearts award, and yeah~ shout at me once you done. 4.6k Words

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It hadn’t taken much time for you to realise that you had exchanged places with Kim Namjoon. Although you had it much worse. After that incident in the garden, it had gotten worse. Now you couldn’t even find refuge in the library. The demons were everywhere.

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callmejocey  asked:

I'm having guests visit and stay in my apartment for the first time! They'll be here in 4 days. What can I do to prepare? It's really important to me that my guests see how well my boyfriend and I are doing now that we're living together and I want to make a good impression!

Guest Tips

1. Start by deep cleaning your apartment. Vacuum, mop, wipe dust off the back of the TV. Clean the things you don’t normally clean in your regular cleaning routine. I recommend spreading this cleaning out in the few days before they arrive.

2. Comb the apartment for things that you are not 100% okay with your guests seeing. I’m talking dildos, sexy panties, bongs, etc. Store these out of sight in a closet for the duration of their stay.

3. Stock up on snacks. I recommend fresh fruit, cheese and crackers, chips and salsa. If you have a microwave, buy some microwave snacks like mini pizzas or taquitoes. I know these aren’t the healthiest snacks in the world, but sometimes a warm snack does the trick.

4. Similarly, get all your take-out menus in one organized stack. Because you do not want to be cooking three meals a day for these people.

5. Stock up on guest bathroom supplies. One would hope that people coming to spend a week at your place would bring things as simple as toothbrushes, but sometimes they forget. Here’s a list of bathroom supplies for your guest:

- Toothbrushes and toothpaste (get travel sized)
- Shampoo and conditioner (again, travel sized)
- Towels that are only for your guests (just wash some of your towels and fold them and tell your guests that they’re for them to use)
- Soap (travel sized)
- Q-tips (people NEVER bring q-tips! Put a little pack of them out in plain sight in the bathroom)

6. Make sure you’re fully stocked household essentials wise. Here are some examples:

- Toilet paper
- Paper towels
- First Aid kit
- Trash bags
- Napkins (paper or otherwise)
- Plates (paper or otherwise)
- Silverware
- Milk
- Coffee
- Toast

7. Get a bowl of fresh fruit and put it on your coffee table or dining room table. I recommend citrus, because it lasts longer. A bowl of citrus on a table makes you look like more of an “Adult”. Science side of Tumblr please explain.

8. Create a guest space for your guests before they arrive. Wash any sheets and blankets, wipe any bedside tables down, and if you’re feeling fancy buy some flowers to put in a vase by where they’ll be sleeping.

9. Buy some things that will cover up a bad scent quickly. Like Febreeze or incense or scent candles. Just in case!

10. And finally, come up with a list of places to take your guests. Hiking trails, nice restaurants, shopping malls, cinemas, etc. Please don’t try to entertain them 100% of the time, let them do their thing occasionally. But have at least one outing planned a day.

Good luck!

Draco Malfoy and the Erratic Blender

After the incident with the toaster Draco was still wary of unknown kitchen appliances; wariness, however, hadn’t turned him away from learning and he had by now mastered most of the contraptions in their kitchen.

For one, he could now make the most perfect toasted bread. He also knew how to use the stove (easy enough as long as he thought about it in the line of: fire, cauldron, ingredient). He even perfected the use of the microwave. Well almost. He had not yet perfected his reaction to the obnoxiously loud ping!  that made him jump every single bloody time his back was turned. Ok, it sometimes made him spill his tea on his shirt too, but that wasn’t the point.

Today, unfortunately, was the day Draco Malfoy decided to use the blender. Harry never used it, because ‘only babies need their food in liquid form Malfoy’, but Draco watched Hermione use it once and it didn’t look too complicated, besides, the smoothie she had made with it was surprisingly tasty.

Draco prepared the fruit first; a banana, blueberries, strawberries… hmm that should do, right? He cut the fruit to manageable pieces, put it in the blender bowl, added some water, mounted the bowl onto the blender, plugged it in and–

Where was the lid?

Did one even need the lid? That surely wasn’t an essential part of the blender, right? Even cauldrons didn’t have lids and it’s not like smoothies exploded, he reasoned.

Draco apprehensively lifted his finger towards the ‘ON’ button. Here goes, he though when pressing firmly on it. A sudden roar came from the blender, then, before he could even react, he saw the contents surge upwards, upwards and out. Oh, shit. He saw a piece of banana flying towards his face when his eyes closed instinctively and he felt the sticky gooey pieces of fruit hit his face, his chest, his hair.

The lid, apparently, was a crucial part of the blender.

Draco’s eyes slowly opened, his nostrils flared and without even performing a cleaning charm on himself, he strode out of the kitchen and went to collect their owl sleeping quietly in his cage. Bloody fucking Potter and his bloody fucking kitchen shit, he will send him the worst fucking Howler he had ever received in his entire life and he will make damn sure he gets it right in the middle of the Auror offices.

                                                     ———–

Harry glanced at Bimbo, the kind but stupid looking owl that he and Draco had saved (from a pigeon attack) about a year ago. He was carrying an ominous red envelope that was already smoking at the edges. Uh-oh, Harry though. What had he done now? He swiftly took the envelope from Bimbo’s beak, rushed out of his cubicle and started sprinting towards the toilet. The whole department will not be privy to his embarrassment again.

Half way down the hall, the envelope exploded and the voice of an enraged and - what was even worse – extremely offended Draco Malfoy filled the Auror Department. ‘’YOU FUCKING WANKER! MY FACE IS COVERED IN STICKY GOO! IT’S IN MY FUCKING HAIR, POTTER. IN MY GORGEOUS FUCKING HAIR!’’ The voice roared and echoed around the level two. ‘’AND IT’S ALREADY BEGINNING TO DRY. IT’S CAKED TO MY FACE POTTER AND NEITHER YOU NOR YOUR SPITTING, EJACULATING TOY WILL EVER BE FORGIVEN.’’

Harry stood in the middle of the hallway, eyes wide, cheeks flaming, with the whole department’s worth of eyes staring at him. ‘’It’s not –‘’ he mumbled. ‘’It’s not what you think it is,’’ he whispered to no use as the whole department was consumed by mounting laughter.

___________________________________________________________

Draco and the Offending Toaster is here

Self care tips

I know there are like a million of these, but here are some that came to my head

-PUT ON THAT SPF!!!
- start using eye cream as soon as you can
- pat your eye cream, don’t rub
-moisturize ur face even if your super oily, use a gel or water based one
-don’t over exfoliate! you will dry ur skin out and make it irritated
- essential oils are great non toxic cleaning supplies and perfumes
- be careful with bath bombs, make sure it isn’t irritating your private
- sleep naked, let your private parts breathe
- don’t wash your vagina with scented soaps or body washes, it cleans itself. use some warm water if you want
- coconut oil is great for hair mask and moisturizing the skin, be careful with it on the face bc if can clog pores
- buy a wet brush!! you can get them at any drugstore and its great for hair that gets tangled easily
- honey, sugar and essential oil as a body scrub (test patch on your hand first)
- Mario badescu skincare is amazing and pretty affordable…they have products for every skin type
-Mario Badescu Drying Lotion- spot treatment
- do a lip scrub (lush makes great ones or make a homemade one) and then put some lip balm on
- as everyone says, drink lots of water! (for me, it makes me full so I don’t over eat and I drink from a big bottle so I can drink more)
- quick and easy salmon and chicken! (season with olive oil, lemon juice, garlic powder, paprika, pepper and sea salt…I also put Chardonnay sometimes to help with the flavor and then cook)
- going dairy free can help your skin (learned from Nazanin Kavari) and stomach problems
(learned from my own experience)
-make a smoothie bowl for breakfast (I mix frozen fruit, a little ice and vanilla almond milk, tastes like strawberry ice cream!)
- dark chocolate isn’t too bad for you, have a piece if you have a sweet tooth
- bad cramps? exercising is the best way to relive them actually, try to go for a walk
- bad cramps still? heating pad and tea
- breakouts on the chin happen when your cycle comes, don’t freak out- it happens to everyone
- dry shampoo is a life saver! washing your hair can dry it out but if you have oily roots, dry shampoo can help it not look greasy
- my fav cruelty free makeup and skincare:
NYX
Wet and Wild
ELF
Too Faced
Tarte
Bare Minerals
Yes To
Mario Badescu
Lush
It Cosmetics
- download a relaxation app
- stop saying sorry all the time, it’s okay
- cut anyone out of ur life who isn’t supportive of the things you do
- check up on ur friends
- have your own spa day with your friends (face masks, smoothies, pedis and manis)
- sleep in some days and other days wake up before anyone else does
- don’t let any boys or girls take advantage of you
- leave if you don’t have a good feeling about something, always trust your gut
- spend 20 min a day doing something for yourself, take a bath or a face mask

Newcomers Pt5

Pt5


“Please take them, they are trashing my ships!” Polt begged Admiral Ilom

“I have my own Humans here, I can’t handle more you deal with your own problems. Besides they liberated Remer why do you want to get rid of them?”

“Because they have a holiday every week or some kind of celebration and they keep changing the decorations, besides they eat EVERYTHING!!! Our own food supplies have dwindled and we have requested twice the normal food shipments but still they keep eating!!!”

“Well eat their food then, I’m sure they will share”

“Have you eaten their food?” Polt asked putting his winged arms on his hips, a stance he mimicked form the Humans.  

“…I see your point, but the answer is still no, you’ll just have to find a way of dealing with them” Ilom cut the link and Polt started pulling out his feathers in frustration but was distracted by a knock on the door.

There was a male Human in a small white dress and wearing a large horse mask standing there.

“Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me lots of sweets to eat!!” he said holding a bag.

Polt stared at him and the bag in confusion and the Human sighed.

“Just give me some food or I egg your door”

Polt was horrified having come a race that lays eggs he quickly ran inside and grabbed some fruit from his bowl and put it in the bag.

“Fruit? Seriously, dick move” he said moving on and Polt saw that the entire corridor had been redecorated with odd symbols and all the Humans were walking around in strange attire. Normally he would scold them for not wearing their uniform but then he saw Clerk coming his way…or he thought it was.

He was wearing a large yellow wig and a short dress that glittered and his chest had two cone shapes pointing out.

“Captain Clerk?”

“No, I’m Madonna and I’m a virgin” he said with a straight face leaving Polt to just get back in his office and lock the door.



The planet Owep'nop was the capital of the Alliance and all their affairs, they were also technically the government of all the member races although they could not influence local matters of the different races. It was lead by a council that had one representative of each member race, the Human had no representative as they were the newest member and the others were still in two minds if they even wanted them there. The decision to allow them to act as soldiers was not a popular one but since their work on Remer some were seeing their potential.

Consul Jetya was an Elong and the elected leader of the Alliance was scrolling through the millions of reports he had to go through not really reading them, he often just handed them out among the council and let them do it while spent the day with his wife’s. His feathers had started to go black and fall out but his even though his body was ageing his mind had not started to go yet.

“Mr President!” his co Consul Kelp and also a Elong came ruining in clearly excited about something.

“If it’s another relief request add it to the list”

“No sir, Remer has been liberated”

Jetya shot him a look “What? That world was supposed to have been left to slow the Gal who ordered it be liberated?”

“Um….it was Admiral Polt’s fleet”

“Well , then the Benemar in his fleet are the be decorated for it, it’s not everyday we get a victory against the Gal”

“It wasn’t the Benemar sir”

“Huh?

“It was the Humans, Admiral Polt attacked the Gal upon the wishes of the Human soldiers under his command”

“Wait, the Humans asked to go into battle?”

“Yes and they won, the Benemar were on planet but had no significant impact on the battle” he said handing the Consul the pad.

Jetya read through it at the number so casualties.

“This can’t be right” Jetya said.

“I checked them, three times” Kelp replied showing he was dead serious.

“There were only a hundred thousands Human soldiers against millions of Gal and their casualty rate was less than 5%”

“And some of those were just injuries, they only suffered 2% fatal casualties”

Jetya stared at him “No, this can’t be right I refuse to believe this”

“Sir I can assure you, these reports are accurate and we are getting similar reports from the others fleets”

Jetya stared at him and did not blink as if his mind had simply shut down, it was a while before he spoke again.

“Get me all the information on Human anatomy you can find and anyone, not a Human who knows their inner workings to be here NOW!”

An hour later a Kelp returned with a Seran, a race of complete energy that existed as a sort of mist, their single solid part of their body was their huge eye that seemed to look in every direction at once.

“Consul this is…”

“My name is Aopdfjgokjfsdvnhklvsgnkuvnhaloikhjmgfuioafhpikshjsrlkjbnsjghwtre……but you can call me Tim”

“Tim?”

“It’s what the Humans call me and I have come to like it”

“Okay….Tim tell me all you know about these Humans and their bodies, their strength and their weaknesses”

A holographic display appeared  in the centre of the room of a Human male and female performing various actions and movements.

“They don’t look like much” Kelp said.

“Indeed, I have only met a Human a few times and the reports we have on their capabilities do not seem to show in their anatomy” Jetya said.

“You may think so but to underestimate them would be your downfall” Tim replied “Have you heard of Vewlop?”

“No” both replied.

“It is because they invaded the Humans homeworld some centuries ago, they were undergoing one of their migrations and believed the Human could not put up a fight, they were wrong and the Vewlop are now extinct”

“Is this why your race pushed us to make contact?”

“I cannot speak for the my kind as a whole”

“That’s not a no” Kep said.

“So go on tell me what these Humans are like”

“As you see their outer appearance shows no special features but they perfectly efficient, every part of their body has it’s purpose, they only need two arms and legs and eyes. Their sense of balance is second to none”

“Annnd?”

“It is what is inside where they are truly fascinating”

The holographic display showed the Humans organs and bones.

“They have twice the muscle mass than the Benemar who were considered the strongest physically in the Alliance, until now. They can heal any wound at an astonishing rate, their bones are thicker and their eyesight twice that of even your race”

Kelp and Jetya looked at one another.

“There is also their chemicals within their bodies, should a threat appear their blood vessels flood with this chemical call ‘adrenaline’ which gives them extra strength and stamina so much so they can go days without rest in battle. Their brain power works 43% faster than even my race, by the time many would have only just noticed a threat they have seen it, analysed it’s threat level and began taking action against it. Their own stomachs are filled with chemicals to break down food that we can’t even identify them, they keep melting our beakers”

“So what about their weaknesses?” Jetya asked.

Tim floated there and the others were terrified he was going to say they had none.

“Well, they do have some but not many, they are immune to nearly all of the viral infections that plague the other races and most known munitions would not guarantee a kill as they have been known to continue to fight even after loosing an arm or leg. A sure way to kill them is to destroy or decapitate the head”

“What is the breeding rate of these things” Kelp asked.

“Their females can fall pregnant once every nine of their months, sometimes they birth more than one at a time”

“How long is that in standard Alliance time?”

“0.52 of a cycle”

“No wonder there are so many of them, before we know it we are going to be overrun by these things!” Kelp shouted.

“We have to find a way to contain them, you said they don’t get along with the Benemar?” Jetya asked.

“That’s an understatement” Kelp replied.

“Contact the Benemar high Chiefs, I need to speak to them, I don;t want us to defeat the Gal only to replace them with something worse”


Back on Bento Prime, the drums of war were sounding as they began to muster their forces.

Midnight Circus pt. 2

Originally posted by jeonilys

☾pairing: Jungkook ♡→  reader
☾genre: Angst. Fluff. Mature content. badboysummerfling au
☾summary: “You’re ten times hotter this summer, you know that?”

| 1 | 2 | coming soon


It was a delightful morning, you underestimated the amount of peace there was at a camping ground when night fell. You were fully rested and ready for the day. Everyone hadn’t left the cabins yet but those of you who did went to the recreational center for breakfast. You piled the roasted potatoes on your plate and walked back to the table with Nayeon, Jin, Namjoon and Jennie, everyone else was asleep so you guys left them alone. The whether was nice, breakfast was delicious, Jungkook wasn’t here, it was close to perfect.

“After breakfast I planned some stuff for all us.” Jennie brought the mug to her lips and sipped the bitter sweet coffee. “We can get cleaned up then we’ll hike up to the springs and eat lunch there, we can swim for a little while too.” When Jennie looked up to see Beah and Naeun we’re coming to the table and you braced yourself, you knew who wasn’t far behind them. Low and behold, Jimin, Tae and Jungkook walked in and you sighed—he glanced at you before grabbing a plate for breakfast, his hair was so fluffy and too soft to be his own, you wondered why the worst people have the prettiest features.

“Good morning,” Jimin came to sit next to Namjoon and across from Beah, with a bowl of fruit. Taehyung came to sit next to Beah, putting the seat beside you up for grabs. 

“Did you guys sleep well?” Jennie was really just indirectly asking Jimin. 

“Yeah, I kept hearing a weird sound though like a cat or something…” Tae mumbled and Nayeon nodded in agreement.

“I heard that too,” She gasped, “oh my God, are there wildcats out here?”

You giggled as Jennie tried to convince everyone that there has only ever been one wildcat sighting, most of them weren’t convinced. When Taehyung brought up the subject of the ‘thing’ in the tree outside of his window, you couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous he was.

“There was not!” Jimin playfully slapped his arm. “You shouldn’t have eaten those snacks, you were just seeing things.” 

Jungkook actually chuckled—he, of course, had to sit right next to you. His plate was piled uo like most of the guys but his plates always looked huge. You ate your potatoes, sipped your juice and got up to take your empty plate—you wanted to get away from him before you two started at it again. You grimaced at having to go back to that table, you could practically feel Jungkook looking at you—his eyes as unapologetic as ever when you looked back at him. Feeling your pink pajama shorts lift slightly prompted you to quickly tug them down. You kept your cool and walked to the fruit bar, making a nice bowl of pineapples before taking your seat beside him. It was ridiculous how he kept eyeing you like you didn’t notice him staring, he scrap his fork against his teeth and just glare at you.

You ate about three pieces until you saw his greasy fingers stroll into your view, attempting to take one of your pineapples, you smacked his hand, moving your chair farther from him—he is a literal child. He doesn’t understand the concept of enemies, he acts like your annoying friend one second and he’s pissing you off the next. He giggled, trying to grab it again just to annoy you.

“Stop.” You glared at him—looking down at your pineapples, they didn’t even look all that appetizing anymore. 

He had the nerve to scoff, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Why do you have to get worked up over pointless shit like pineapples?” He grabbed the same pineapple he was gonna eat originally and popped it in his mouth. “It’s fucking fruit. You need to learn how to share.”

“It’s my fruit, and I think you’re forgetting that we’re not on good terms.” You crossed your arms—you’ve never glared at anyone with such animosity. “And I don’t share with heathens like you…”

“Me? A heathen?” He feigned a look of shock. “You nag about everything, no wonder you never get any-” If he would’ve finished that sentence you would’ve strangled him.

“Are you two seriously fighting over a bowl of pineapples?” Namjoon called you two out causing the whole table to stare at the both of you. Of course you both started defending yourselves, your words clashing together like children trying to prove their points in a feud.

“Hey! We don’t want to hear about your pineapples guys,” Jennie spoke up, “let’s go get ready for the springs.” At that everyone agreed and got up, leaving their plates and continuing their conversations. As you were storming back to the cabin Naeun came to walk beside you, just skipping along like there was no tomorrow. You thought she was more excited to go swimming and you could understand why—swimming with all of those good looking guys was pretty exciting but you didn’t even think of that. You are going to have a good time, he wasn’t about to get the best of you, not now.

You washed up, put on light make up and slid on a pair of jean shorts over your bathing suit. When you tied your hair in a ponytail you got a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, Beah and Jennie were getting ready in the mirror as well. 

“You look cute Y/N,” Jennie looked back at your somewhat uncharacteristically revealing get up, “I don’t think Jeon will be able to argue with you in that, honestly you guys would be cute if you could stay in a room without killing each other.” She giggled, the way you grimaced in disgust was priceless.

“You’re kidding?” You wanted to vomit—that thought never even crossed your mind, “No, we wouldn’t, ugh, don’t even think of that. All I see Jungkook as is a means to ruin my life. And FYI he’ll lust after anything with boobs so it doesn’t matter what any of us wear, he undresses people with his eyes…” They all laughed but it was true, and you were determined not to let him touch any of your friends. 

“I wouldn’t mind that entirely.” Naeun walked in, she wore a black one piece with large openings on the sides to show quite a bit of skin. “He’s one of the hottest guys in school, and you get to fight with him.” She snickered.

“First of all, that’s gross. Second of all, he’s not ugly, that’s all I have to say about his looks.” Everyone was in there swimsuits, had their bags with shoes, extra clothes and some snacks. When the five of you walked out the boys were already waiting for you guys outside of their cabin.

Jin stretched. “So how long is the hike?” 

Jennie pulled out a can of bug spray and offered some to everyone before spraying her legs and arms. “Like 15 to 20  minutes, it’s not that long. Since I’m leading the hike, I’ll do it like my aunt does it. Everyone can grab a buddy to walk with so we don’t get separated!” She cut her eyes to you before smirking, she was doing this on purpose. 

You had your eye on Jimin but Nayeon beat you to it, your next option was Jin but Jennie purposely walked with him since they were the oldest. Namjoon walked with Beah, Tae walked with Naeun. When you looked around you saw everyone had a partner and followed Jennie into the woods, and of course you were at the end of the line—with him.

“Jen!” You shouted from the back running up beside her, “Can I-”

“You and Jungkook are partners, you can’t third wheel with me now go back.” She shooed you away, you’ve never felt more betrayed in your life. They all walked by, talking and smiling as Jungkook was walking towards you, an innocent look on his face.

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Fun Tips for Cooking with your Toddler! 

-Get your toddler in on the action by giving her a really high stool to stand on. Sure, she usually has the coordination of a hyena on roller skates, but this will probably be fine.

-Position her within arm’s reach of open shelving packed with expensive serving wear - just in case she does slip and needs something to grab onto!

-Place a bowl of brightly-colored fruit nearby so your toddler can sneak one bite out of each piece and then put it back when you’re not looking.

-Make sure your toddler is wearing clothes appropriate for the kitchen, like a fancy white dress! Then you can transition directly into, “14 Hours of Laundry with your Toddler.”