put a towel down or something

Baking Session

I’m sooo sorry guys I accidentaly deleted the prompt for this one please forgive meee.

This is a Nanbaka fanfic. The manga/anime and all the characters doesn’t belong to me.

Summary: Uno is baking cookies for his cellmates. Jyugo who’s bored comes over and tries stealing a cookie and also manages to but Uno isn’t one who let others steal from him without having to feel the consequences.
Warning: This fanfic contains lots of fluff and tickling.

Word count: 1540


It was the 23. of December one day before Christmas and Uno had decided that he wanted to bake something for his friends and cellmates since it was the first Christmas they would all spent together.

“Ahh~ they will love these <3” hummed Uno happily, putting the mixing bowl down on the counter before rubbing his hands clean with a towel and grabbed a rolling pin. He then started to evenly roll the dough out that he just had finished making and reached for one of the cookie cutters but then hesitated in midway.

“Hmm… Which one should I use?” asked the pink-blond haired man himself, his eyes switching from one cutter to the next before he grabbed a star-shaped one and placed it on the dough, pressing the metal into it and placed the little star on an iron sheet.

Uno went on with cutting out all kind and shapes of Christmas themed cookies; angels, stars, Christmas trees, hearts, gingerbread men, bells and a lot more, all the while humming Christmas songs that he had heard in the time before he was sent to prison.

After cutting a dozen of cookies he put the iron sheet in the oven and started with heating chocolate gloss, made sugar icing and even fetched different kind of food coloring, put them on the counter and started mixing them.

After twenty minutes the alarm of the oven went on and Uno took the now baked cookies out, waiting a few minutes till they weren’t that hot anymore and stared decorating them.

He had almost finished his little baking session, only a few cookies still needed to be decorated when he heard steps behind him.

“Are you baking something?”

Uno grinned at the well-known voice.

“Yo Jyugo,” greeted the blue-eyed prisoner his cellmate who had stepped closer and curiously looked over his friends shoulder.

“So you made cookies huh?”

“They look good right?” asked Uno and beamed proudly of his work at the raven who was still eyeing the cookies in front of him.

“Hmm.” hummed Jyugo in agreement while leaning his chin on the taller mans shoulder.

“How did you even get in here?” asked the teen while looking longingly at the colorful decorated cookies in front of him.

They really did look good…

“A few won rounds there and a few contacts here you know?” answered Uno with a smirk and Jyugo only rolled his eyes with a small grin on his face.

Uno really had his own methods to do things.

He then reached his hand out for a little Christmas tree but before he could take it his hand got slapped away.

“Uh-uh, these are for later and I’m still not done with the rest,” chided Uno when Jyugo threw a glare at him.

“Only one,” tried Jyugo but Uno didn’t let him. With a well-directed poke to the side and an as a warning raised eyebrow he managed to keep the prison-breaker genius away from the cookies.

Jyugo huffed but then gave up and sat down on a counter and watched Uno conscientiously decorating the last biscuits. Uno started humming again and it only needed a few moments till he was completely engrossed into his work. This didn’t remain unseen by Jyugo who had waited for this chance and quietly made his way over to the already decorated cookies. He threw one glance back at his cellmate who was bending over the counter, the tip of his tongue peeking out between his lips in concentration while working.

Jyugo then looked back at the delicious looking biscuits and snatched a little angle from the plate and stuffed it quickly into his mouth.

The cookie just tasted as good as it was looking and Jyugo smiled while chewing happily.


The raven nearly chocked on the cookie when he heard his name being used with that kind of voice.

“What are you doing?”

“Nompthing!” said the teen and tried to chew faster but there was already a hand grabbing his shoulder and spinning him around.

“Ohh so this is nothing?” asked Uno and poked with his pointer finger against Jyugos stuffed cheek.

Jyugo quickly swallowed the rest of the cookie before he started speaking.

“Yes nothing and if you would excuse me now…” tried the teen to talk himself out but the hand on his shoulder kept him from going anywhere and a single glance in Unos face told him that this wasn’t over yet.

“You my friend,” said Uno while stepping closer and poking Jyugo in the stomach, “are”-poke- “a big,” -poke- “fat,” -poke- ” liar!” -poke poke poke.

Jyugo couldn’t help twitching at every poke and tried swatting Unos finger away but the later was faster and stepped even closer till he had his cellmate trapped between him and the counter and poked him without stopping once making the other teen giggle helplessly.

“Huuuh, so now you’re even laughing at me? You really want me to do this right?” asked Uno with a wicked grin on his face before he went in for a full-blown tickle attack and starting tickling his friend for real now.

“Ahh! Nohoho Unohoho!” whined Jyugo and tried to catch the others hands but Uno just went on with tormenting the smaller boy.

“Sorry Jyugo but you just should have listened to me. You really bought this on yourself” said Uno not sounding sorry at all and the big grin on his face growing even wider when Jyugos laugh changed into hiccupy laughter when Uno found the spot on his sides just about his hips that took all the strength from the colorful eyed boy who’s legs had giving up under him and make him sink to the ground.

Uno only grinned even wider and knelled down next to his friend who was now sitting with his back leaned against the counter, completely weakened by laughing so much which the older naturally used to tickle him even more, getting all his tickle spots.

“You really want to make me angry don’t you?” teased Uno and laughed when a shriek followed by hysterical giggles kept coming from Jyugo when the pink-blond haired man squeezed his sides a few more times.

Jyugo even laughed as much that he felt to the side, now lying on the ground of the kitchen and tried to use the chance in a pathetic attempt to escape out of the clutches of his evil friend but Uno wasn’t done with him yet.

“Ah ah aaah, you’re not going anywhere.” said Uno and grabbed Jyugos legs, pulling him back.

“Nohohohohoho U-Unooo. NyaahahahAHAHAHAH Goahahad stahahahap!” shrieked the now hysterical laughing teen when the older man squeezed the fully exposed backside of his thighs and Jyugo desperately tried robbing away because it just tickled so damn bad it was maddening but Uno had other plans.

When the smaller teen actually managed to kick his legs strong enough to shake his friend of and bring some distance between him and his cellmate who had just turned into some kind of revengeful tickle monster, Jyugo sighed in relief when the tingling feeling on his skin that had made him laugh like an idiot but he had cheered too early.

“Jyugooo~ you can’t escape from meee~.” sing sung the gambler with a teasing and playfully threatening sounding voice and grabbed Jyugos ankle pulling the teen back again who was giggling already before the other was even touching him and started pleading.

“Uhnohoh hehehe pleahahseee.” whined the black-red haired teen but Uno only smirked before he sat down on the Jyugos lower back, carefully not to hurt his friend but strong enough to keep him in place and promptly started digging his fingers in the skinny rib-cage under him, fingers running up and down and sometimes giving Jyugos armpits a brief tickle which made the later shot his arms down, trying to block the tickles but in the end only trapping the evil fingers and making it worse.

“Noo! Stohohop Unohoh ahaha I cahahan’t plehehease!” pleaded the poor boy, shrieking with laughter and tears of mirth gathering in the corner of his eyes as he tried to wriggle out of Unos hold but to no use.

Uno who could feel how the struggling and trashing slowly decreased and Jyugo was only laying there under him, shaking with silent laughter and completely giving up by now decided that he had to end this soon.

“You’re sorry for taking that cookie?” asked Uno while slowing the tickling down and changed to only poking the other teens ribs and sides making Jyugo giggle and twitch but letting him catch his breath.

“Yehehehs Ihihih- I’m sooohohory!”

“I hope it has at least payed of for you.” laughed the blue-eyed man before he got of from the others back and stood up.

“Come on Jyugo.” said Uno and stretchered his hand out to help the other teen up.

Jyugo only sighed, tired out from laughing so much but then took the hand and let himself be pulled up by his friend.

“It was delicious.” mumbled the dark haired teen with a faint blush but then smiled as Uno laughed while laying an arm around his hand and pulled him closer to ruffle his hair.

First few days with no scales has gone really well, all things considered. I haven’t broken into the Director’s office to weigh myself and it’s only when I’m at home that I even think about it. People think I’m being daft by hiding them, but they don’t get it.

Similarly, I nearly punched a colleague on Friday. She said I was ‘dieting’. I corrected her and advised her that what I’m doing is, in fact, a change in lifestyle. She scoffed at me and said ‘yeah, and I’m a natural blonde’ (she’s a redhead naturally). It really hurt my feelings, especially coming from her. She knows what I went through as a kid and how it still affects me 13 years on. 


I’ve decided that I’m not going to let her wind me up and win. Normally if someone put me down like that, I’d throw the towel in and go eat some cake or something. But I’m not going to let a little bitch like her get to me, not anymore. That’s how it all started all those years ago and I don’t want to be put in that position ever again. If anything, I’m more determined to prove her wrong.

God, people are vile sometimes.

A Simple Beginning Ritual

So I’ve seen this pop up a couple of times in the tags and on Ask a Kemetic so I thought I’d chuck in my own 2 cents. Now this is KO influenced a bit, but hey, there are rituals in “kemetic” beginners books that read like the zombie of Gerald Gardner wrote em so who says influence is all bad? So here we go, super beginners and casual, no worries the Noof has got you.

What You’ll Need

- a flat surface. A bed is flat enough just not like an exercise ball or something. Floor is ok just maybe give it a good clean first or put down a cloth (yes a nice clean towel works)

-A light source. Candle, LED candle, even a flashlight if that’s what you’ve got

-Some good smelling stuff. Incense,oil warmer, those meltly wax cubes, or have your light source do double duty and have it be scented like a scented candle. A spritz of perfume even is ok.

- Water. If you can get nice purified kind that’s aces, but if tap is what you got go with that.

- Offerings. This can be bread, some of your pizza, gems, just something you want to give to  (the) Netjer that is from your heart. You can even make a votive offering by drawing the thing you want to offer, from bread to an iphone, if you can draw it or print it out and it’s from your heart then it’s a go. 

- An icon of the specific Netjer you are trying to say hi too. You can draw this, write out their name in hieroglyphs. If you just want to do a “Hey all ya’ll “ you can just use the sign for God/Netjer 

(From “conceptions of god in ancient egypt by Erik Hornung) you can use this lil fellow too:

We aren’t going to worry about stuff like Natron quite yet, so just go wash up as best you can and put on some clean clothes. If you are bleeding from a wound, clean that and redress it with fresh dressings. Menstrual taboo stuff I live up to each person. If you feel up to it ok go ahead, if you wanna wait it out ok. Unless you join an organized temple like KO it’s between you and your gods. 

So you’re all cleaned up and have set up your stuff so it looks nice to you, so have a seat if you want.You could do this all standing, or even laying down if you are bed bound, just don’t get so comfy you fall asleep. Take a second to count your breaths, center yourself. This can be hard, you might be nervous, or giddy or any other number of things.Just try and be as calm as you can get in that moment. Take your time. 

Turn on/light your light source and say 

“ Hail to you Netjer! Shining ones! Lover’s of Ma’at and haters of isfet!

I (your name goes here) call out to you, pure of heart and true of voice!

Please come and guide me so I may have a good life, doing ma’at, loving you and pass into the west.”

You can add on to this if you want. 

Pick up your water and hold it up a bit, presenting it to your icon and say;

“ I offer this water to you so you may be cooled and your love flow into me”

Put that down and pick up your good smelling thing/spritz it/waft it round and say:

“Oh Netjer! May this scent please and harold your coming into my life! May you give me life and breath!”

Take up your offerings and say 

“May this offering of -blank- please and sustain you as you sustain me”

You can use this time to make personal prayers, read from a book, meditate, do some divination it’s up to you. When you feel that you’re done, turn off/snuff out your light source, thank Netjer for being with you and generally clean up.

Trouble Shooting:

1: I want to work with a specific god.

In that case, do a little bit of research first, find out what they like in terms of offerings, for example Amun loves Myrrh, so you might want to offer some of that as a chunk or incense. You generally can’t go wrong with bread and water though. Then in the spoken portions where it says “Netjer” just insert the specific deity’s name.  

2: I didn’t feel anything! It was boring!

That happens. It is perfectly normal and ok. Not every ritual is going to be a magical mystery tour of spiritual elation. Sometimes you are going to be bored and feel silly sitting there talking to a picture. It’s part of this path just as much as visions and ka embraces. You can repeat this ritual again the next day if you want to, you can wait and look for signs, dreams, divination’s or go try another ritual by someone else or make up your own. Sometimes the netjer are busy and so you might get the proverbial “answering machine”. Don’t get to down on yourself. It happens. Keep at it. You can also shoot me an ask or message.

3: That was too casual and just what? Nothing like the ancients! Iphone votive offerings?! LED candles? Non-canon prayers!? What is this crap!?

Sorry there friend. This is what I did pre-KO and it got me a good response, Netjer hasn’t struck me dead yet so it seems to be ok. If you don’t like it, you’re free to not do it, go find one you like or make up your own one. *shrug emoji*

Emma (John Laurens x Reader)


So this is my first time uploading onto Tumblr so adventure, am I right! Haha sorry. Anyway, it was just a little something I wrote that was originally supposed to be TJeff but became this. Probably because I love Laurens, idk. Anyway, enjoy and if you want to send a request, feel free.

Ship: John Lauren x Reader

Warnings: None except fluff I guess

It had been a peaceful day. Your boyfriend John was a work and your daughter Emma had spent most of the day in preschool. Even now, Emma was playing in her room quietly with her stuffed animals while you finished cleaning the kitchen.

“Mommy, mommy, mommy!”

Maybe she wasn’t being so quiet. You put down the towel you had been using to dry the dishes and kneeled down to her eye level. “What’s up, buttercup?”

Emma giggled at the phrase, a smile taking home on her freckled face. “When will daddy be home?”

You glanced at the clock that hung next to the fridge and couldn’t help but smile yourself. “About 30 minutes. Why?”

“Can I draw daddy a picture?” The 4 year old asked sweetly, as though you could possibly say no to such an innocent request.

“Of course!” You ruffled her (H/C) hair. “Come on, I’ll get you paper and some colour pencils.”

Emma cheered, running back to her room with you following, first stopping in your office to pick up supplies. You set them down on Emma’s desk. “All set?” You chuckled as Emma nodded excited. “Okie dokie, artichokie. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.” Emma nodded again as you left to the kitchen with a quick smile.

While she had been a bit of a surprise, Emma has been one of the biggest joys in your lives. You had been dating John for about a year and a half when you were expecting and when you told John, he was frightened and confused and nervous but overall, he was excited. He had fussed and pampered you and even proposed.

However, you said no. You knew he loved you and would love this baby more than anything. At that point, though, you felt like he was doing it out of obligation and had to decline. He understood, even if he was a bit disappointed. Then Emma was born.

You couldn’t help but think back to what John’s face was like when they first handed her to him. It was like he had been handed the world. And essentially, he had. He doted on her whenever he could, making sure she always knew just how much she was loved. And boy did she know it.

You sighed and sat at your kitchen table with a cup of tea, taking in a deep breath. Peace once again.

“(Y/N)! Emma!”

Or not.

“In here, John!” You shouted. John walked in and smiled. “Hey, have you seen the paper towels?”

“Yeah.” He reached into the pantry and pulled a roll out from the back. “Here you go.” Handing you the roll, he pressed a quick kiss to your lips. “I love being your hero.”

“Hero?” You scoffed, standing up and placing the roll on its holder. “More like the villain that put it up there.”

John smirked, placing his hands on your hips. “Don’t you love villains though?”

“Oh my, you’re right!” You said, faking a tiny gasp and wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him in for a kiss.

“Daddy! You’re home!” Emma shouted, running in.

“Emma!” John pulled away to pick the young girl up, drawing tiny giggles from her. “How was your day today, sweetheart?”

“Really good! I got to play tag at school and got a gold star for colouring in the lines!”

John gasped. “No way! I can’t even colour in the lines! I’m so proud of you!”

“Oh, I drew you a picture, daddy! Want to see?” Nodding, John put her down, allowing her to bolt to her room.

“Need a drink?” You asked when you noticed just how worn out he looked.

He chuckled and nodded. “Yeah, that’d be good.” You stood up and went to the fridge, grabbing a beer and the opener. You sat next to them and handed it off. “Thanks. Have you seen the picture yet?” Chuckling, you shook your head as Emma ran back.

“Here you go!” She shouted, handing him the paper with 3 people drawn in only a way a young child could. You automatically recognised the small person with freckles and (H/C) hair as your daughter, making the other 2 you and John.

John grinned widely. “This is amazing, Emma!”

“You like it?” A shy little smile crossed her face and John enveloped her in a hug.

“I love it.” He pulled away and pressed a quick kiss to her forehead before turning to you. “What do you think, mommy? Its great, right?”

You smiled and nodded. “It’s amazing. I absolutely love it Emma. Maybe you can even show your little baby brother or sister how to draw like that.”

John looked up in shock. “You’re-”

“Yeah.” You smiled, hoping he’d be just as excited as he was when you told him about Emma.

He stood up slowly, picking up Emma and setting her in his lap when he sat down set to you. “Marry me.”

You smile, leaning forward and giving him a quick kiss.



Originally posted by darlingcap

Pairing: Johnxreader
Word count: 1,177
Warnings: smut

Standing there, in the middle of your living room, you were shaking. An hour ago, you had a normal life. A normal job. And yet, there you were. Covered in blood, some of it your own. Some of it your saviors, but most of it of the creature that had attacked you. You had been in the process of folding laundry when you heard glass shatter. Confused, you put the towel down and grabbed the phone. There had been reports of kids throwing rocks through windows lately, so you were sure it was just that. However, you couldn’t be too safe. People were crazy, it seemed.

You walked into your room to see your window laying on the floor, into more pieces than you wanted to imagine. The green curtains moved in the gentle breeze. Something told you to run. So you did. You turned and went as fast as you could to the living room. Half way through, you felt yourself being tackled from behind. Your head just grazed the coffee table on the way down. Whoever broke in was beyond strong. Your cheek was being pressed into the carpet as they pushed down on your back.

Keep reading

This Must Be My Dream

I personify the ‘adolescent on a phone’

Speaking like I’m bigger than my body

I personify that lack of freedom in your life

And I’m sure she’ll be gone in a second

Let me tell you ‘bout this girl

I thought she’d rearrange my world

Takes a particular type of girl

To put my heart under arrest

So why is this beating on my chest?


This must be my dream

Wide awake before I found you

This must be my dream

I can’t wait for you boy

Wake me from my dream

What does all our love amount to?

This must be my dream

We can’t make love when you fly around me baby

Pipe down, you’re no lover

It’s failing ‘cause you want it to

Well, I thought it was love but I guess I must be dreaming

About feeling something instead of you

“What did I tell you about this girl?”

The one to rearrange your world?

You got excited and now you find out

That your ‘girl’ won’t even get you undressed or care about your beating chest




Three words.

Veggetti and Meatballs. Carbless, chicken pesto meatballs to be precise.

One of those meals that tastes so good it feels almost like you’re cheating…but you’re totally not! 

Just grab two large zucchinis, spiralize those bad boys, put some salt on them & pop them in the oven at 200 for 30 min on top of some paper towels (the zucchini has enough water in them to prevent the towels from catching fire don’t worry!) 

Cook up some meatballs, without fillers or sugars. They’re surprisingly simple to find. 

Saute the zoodles in a fabulous sauce made of butter, parmesan, red pepper, garlic, and onion powder.

Mix em all up


Cause you’re not!


Veggetti & Meatballs with Butter Sauce: 

Calories- About 500

Carbs- About 6 net carbs 

Spaghetti & Meatballs with Marinara:

Calories- About 970

Carbs- About 121 net carbs

Insecure Tease- Ashton Smut

Master List

“Yes yes I’ll be there in 15 minutes” you told your best friend as she fretted about what to wear on a date. 

“Can you get here any quicker?” She begged. “Please please please”

“I’ll be there as quick as I can” you lied, knowing you were going to take longer to dress because you wanted to check out your new underwear. 

“Ok” she sighed. 

“You’re a big girl now Y/F/N” you told her as you found your underwear in your drawer. “I’m sure you ca-”

“Get over here and help me!” She pestered. 

“Ok ok goodbye” you put the phone down. You threw your phone onto the bed and then dropped your towel to put your underwear on and look in the mirror before Ashton made any movement to leave the kitchen. 

“Do you want breakfast babe?” Ashton shouted up the stairs as you smelt something being fried. 

“No ta, Y/F/N wants me to nip over” you yelled back before looking in the mirror. You felt great in your new matching set. Your bra pushed your boobs up and in making them look fab and the bottom of your knickers sat half way up your bum. You felt fabulous in your underwear showing your curves Ashton always claimed were sexy. Your knotty hair fell to just below your shoulders and your make up was already done, making you smile. You had a great feeling you hadn’t had in a long time. Your skin was glowing and radiating happiness from your holiday with Ashton a couple of weeks back. 

“Y/N what did you say you were d- oh you look nice” Ashton grinned from the doorway with a sandwich in his hand as he looked at you. Normally you’d jump back, a little embarrassed as Ashton would reassure you you looked beautiful. This time you stood proud and smirked back. 

“Like it do you?” You asked with a twinkle in your eye, feeling sexier than ever before. Ashton took a step closer to you. “Get that egg sandwich away from me Irwin, you’re not coming anywhere near me like that”

“That is no way to treat your biggest fan” he whined as he finished the food. He took another few steps towards you and wrapped his arms around your body from behind. You relaxed when you felt the heat from his body, making you grin again as you realised what a long way you’d come from how insecure you were a few years back. “You look gorgeous” he whispered into your ear as one of his arms rested on top of your boobs and the other squeezed your bum. 

“Ashton” you giggled. He kissed your cheek before moving to kiss your neck causing a moan to break free from your lips. “I really need to go. You weren’t meant to see me like this” you giggled again. 

“Too late for that beautiful” he claimed before nuzzling on your ear. 

“Ashton” you whined to try and get out of his grip. As you moved you felt his hard on against your bum. It made you stop and realise the effect you have on him. It’d happen many times before in your relationship over the past year but you still couldn’t believe it. 

“You feel that too?” His breath was harsh on your skin. “That’s how you make me feel Y/N. Don’t pretend you didn’t expect me to come upstairs to find you, you were hoping for this to happen weren’t you?”

“No!” You managed to fight him. “I really have to go! I promised Y/F/N! I won’t be long!”

“What are you even going for?” Ashton sat on the bed as he watched you dress into your favourite white denim skirt and a purple mesh tank top. 

“She’s not big enough to choose an outfit for herself to go on this effin’ date” you told him as you found your Converse in your wardrobe. You put them on your feet as Ashton watched your every move. 

“With Michael again?” Ashton asked. You nodded. “She doesn’t need to worry. She is all he talks about”

“I’m not telling her that” you found your denim jacket and bag. “You shouldn’t have told me. That’s going against the bro code, some friend you are”

“How the hell would you know what the bro code is?” Ash asked. You didn’t reply. “Y/N you have to at least suck my dick before you leave” you looked at Ashton in his joggers, still hard as a rock. You just giggled and left the room. “Y/N” Ashton chased after you as you stopped at the hallway mirror to apply your dark lipstick. 

“I’ll be back in like half an hour, an hour tops” you told him before kissing him and then teased him by kissing his neck and collar bone, leaving a lipstick print you knew he’d like. 

“Y/N!” Ashton whined. You ignored him and carried on out of the house and to your car. 


You arrived home an hour and twenty minutes after you’d left it. Ashton was at the front door as soon as you opened it. 

“You are in so much trouble Y/N” Ashton took your hand and yanked you upstairs. 

“Ash chill out” you rolled your eyes as you reached your bedroom. 

“Don’t tell me to chill out!” He pushed you onto the bed. “You tease me and leave me hard as anything and then come home almost an hour later than you said you would” You so hadn’t done any of those things on purpose. 

“Did I?” Your eyes widen as you play along. 

“Y/N don’t you fucking dare” Ashton had already pulled your socks and shoes off. “Let me tell you what’s gonna happen” he pulled your skirt off and pulled you to sit up so he could rip your denim jacket off of you. You let him pull your t-shirt over your head so you were left in your gorgeous underwear. Ashton didn’t speak for a few seconds as he took the image of you lying on the bed for him with your hair sprawled around you. He got a grip eventually. “You’re going to suck my cock like a good girl and you’re not going to make any noise whilst you do it and then you’re not going to whimper or moan or pull at my hair whilst I tease you like you did me. Ok? Got it?”

“Y- yeah” you stutter as you look at his angry face. His eyes were full of lust but the vein on his neck was throbbing and you could see a faint like of sweat from his forehead. He stripped himself off and then sat on the bed. You got on your hands and knees to turn yourself on the bed before you put your head down to his lap. You began to lick his tip.

“Y/N are you asking for a spanking today or what?” Ashton smacked your bum as you teased him. “Take me all the way in your dirty mouth”

It was rare Ashton ever told you what to do but right now you were loving every second of it as he pushed his hand to force your head down lower. He heard (and felt) you gag around him and took his firm grip off of your head and attempted to run his hand through your knotted hair. “Sorry baby sorry” he whispered but you ignored him and carried on. “Fuck fuck fuck Y/N, baby you are so good at this. This is what you should have done this morning” Ashton kept moaning and grunting up until the physical point of no return. “Y/N I’m gonna… Get off” he pushed you off of him. 

“Ashton isn’t that the p-”

“I told you not to talk” he spat as he laid you down again. He kissed you for a few minutes before he began kissing down your neck, your collar bone, the tops of your boobs, over your bra, down to your belly button to reach the top of your knickers. You had butterflies in your stomach and your heart beat increased. Ashton took the elastic band to your panties in between his lips. He locked eye contact with you as he let it snap back to your skin. You flinched. Ashton rubbed his fingers over the red mark, pulling your panties down a little to kiss it. He carried on pulling them down until they were all the way off, leaving you exposed in only your bra. “You’re dripping for me” he ran a finger between your folds, making you suck in air through gritted teeth. You suddenly felt his tongue on you, you weren’t looking. You were too busy focussing on not letting out any sounds. Ashton sucked on your clit, causing you to grip the bed sheets unlike normal when you pull on his hair. Another forbidden action. He moaned against you, you felt the vibrations before he plunged two fingers into your wet centre. When Ashton ate you out, it was all or nothing. 

“Fuck fuck fuck” you whispered under your breath as you stared up at the ceiling with the feel of Ashton’s scruff between your thighs and his tongue pushing in and out of you. 

“Was that a noise Y/N?” He pulled his head up to look at you. You glared back and shook your head slowly. “I think it was” he stood up and looked at you. You groaned in frustration about no longer having his touch on you. “Now we both heard that” he laughed. You just glared at him again, he knew how annoyed you were. “Are you frustrated Y/N?” Ashton hovered above you, holding his weight in his arms either side of you on the bed. He lifted an arm to line himself up with your entrance. “I asked you a question” you rolled your eyes. You couldn’t win by talking and you couldn’t win by not talking. “Don’t roll your eyes at me either” he thrusted far into you. You both moaned in sync at the feeling of being so close together. Ashton’s pace stayed slow and steady, frustrating you again. You lifted your hand up and bought his head closer to you so you could kiss him. You bucked your hips to get him to speed up, he didn’t turn you down. Ashton’s hips were jolting up and down faster than you would have believed as he sucked on your neck. He’d given up not letting you make a noise. Your moans and whimpers turned him on, encouraging him. Before you knew it, you were on the brink of your orgasm. 

“I’m gon-”

“Don’t” Ashton demanded. You clenched around him and without being able to stop it, started to come with him still inside of you. You tried so hard to keep your moans and movements to a minimum so Ashton wouldn’t let on. “Y/N you’re coming aren’t you?” He didn’t know whether to laugh. You but your lip and closed your eyes as Ashton’s thrusts slowed down as he came inside you. He made sure you knew what he was doing with his panting and grunting. Once he was done, he slipped out of you and watched your combined juices drip down your thighs and onto the bed. He immediately put his head down between your legs again without saying anything. 

“Ashton what are y-” you were cut off by his tongue inside of you before he pulled it out and sucked on your clit. His tongue swam up and down between your folds before plunging it into you again, making you scream. You couldn’t resist pulling his messy, damp hair. “Ashton keep going” you begged. He was in no mood to stop. You screamed as a second wave of euphoria washed over you and your eyes were squeezed shut. “Ash baby” you panted once you’d finished your orgasm. He still wasn’t stopping. The feeling was so overwhelming. “Is this your idea of punish- argh!” You screamed as he nibbled twice on you clit. In a strange way, it turned you on and made you buck your hips up. “I can’t!” You yelled. “Ashton!”

“Y/N I am staying right here until you find that third orgasm and don’t even attempt to fake it” Ashton growled at you before putting his face back into your hot and exhausted core. You couldn’t complain. You could think of a lot worse punishment than Ashton Irwin pushing you to your third orgasm, that’s for sure. 

“Fuck Ashton!” You screamed again and pulled at his hair. Two of his fingers were thrusting in and out of you, fast and occasionally curling whilst his tongue was writing something into your pink clit. He just hummed back, pushing you over the edge. You couldn’t control your moans as your eyes were shut again and your legs attempted to clench around Ashton as your hips jolted repeatedly. Ashton licked up and down your slit a few more times before laying down beside you as you got your breath back. 

“I should have taken your bra off to see them bounce up and down as I rammed into you” Ashton commented as his fingers traced the sides of your bra. 

“You’re such a romantic” you replied sarcastically making him laugh. He pulled you over to cuddle with him. 

“I didn’t hurt you did I?” He asked. 

“No” you shook your head. 

“Even when I hit the back of yo-”

“No” you insisted as your head rested against his chest. 

“Good we’ll be doing that again very shortly then” he laughed as he ran his hand through his scraggy hair, his other arm wrapped around your shoulders. “I love you” he whispered before kissing your forehead. You smiled, your insides spilling over with happiness and butterflies. 

“I love you too” you grinned at him. He squeezed your shoulder to show his acknowledgement before you sat up a bit to kiss his cheek and then his lips. Ashton attached both of his hands to the side of your neck. “Is all my make up ruined now? I thought we could go and crash Michael and Y/F/N’s lunch date?”

“You’re not going anywhere” Ashton laughed as he wrapped his arms around you lovingly again as you laid on top of him with one of your legs between his. “Ever” he added in a whisper. You shook your head. 

“No” you agreed with him. 

Stay (John Laurens x reader)

//tell me if I fucked something up thanks, bergers\
Prompt: “stay” “always”
Triggers: sexual innuendos and fluFF AW 

“John?” You called as you let yourself into his apartment. “Babe, where are you?”

When you didn’t hear a response you make yourself at home and make some english muffins.

A mishap with the peanut butter and a shriek later John comes in with nothing hut a towel on. Damn.

“Should I ask why you have a towel on?” You say glancing him up and down.

“Only if you wanna see what’s under it” he winks.

“Wow. Thats..wow” you joke.

“Im gonna put clothes on. I just wanted to see who was here.” He kisses you ok the cheek and walks to his room.

When he comes back he is wearing some sweatpants and a tee shirt you got him a couple of years ago that says (something).

“You still wear that?” You laugh and tug on his shirt.

“Hell yeah I do! You got it for me!” He says giving you a quick peck on the lips. You beam up at him.

“You wanna watch Netflix?” You suggest. “No Netflix and chill sorry.”

“What do you wanna watch?” He asks

“Mean Girls?”

“That’s so totally fetch!” He mocks Gretchen and flips his hair.

“Oh my god, Gretchen, stop trying to make ‘fetch’ happen!” You mock back.

You go to put netflix on while he gets comfortable on the couch. When you go to sit down you see that he is taking up the entire thing.

“You gonna move?” You ask.

“Nope” he responds popping the end. You get what he was getting at so you go to lay down next to him as he puts his arms around your torso. You snuggle in closer.

About 30 minutes into the movie you feel yourself start to drift to sleep.

31 minutes in you are asleep.


You wake up at the end of the movie and hear soft snoring from behind you. You start to get up from your spot when John hold you in your place.

“Stay” he says.

“Always” you say.

You and campcounseler!calum would be extremely competitive, always joining in when you’re groups would play against each other. You had convinced the kids and yourself that you hated him and they were determined to crush their team in any and every game. You sat at the dock by the lake watching your kids swim after suffering a loss against Calum’s team in soccer (because, Duh). Your kids started laughing at something behind you, but as soon as you turned around you were pushed into the water. Standing on the dock above you was a smirking calum, holding in his laughter. You looked down to realize your white tank top was quickly becoming see through. “Oh shit” calum muttered noticing the same thing, he quickly helped you out and wrapped a towel around you. Knowing this wouldn’t help the fact that your pink bra was now on full display calum quickly took of his own shirt and handed it to you. As you put on the baggy t-shirt you couldn’t help but stare at Calum’s toned body. He noticed, and getting a bit cockier he smirked “you know I wouldn’t mind seeing that bra another time, when we aren’t surrounded by 7 year-olds”

For txhohood ’s blurb night

"Please, No Sex In the Kitchen"

Pairing: Pietro X Reader

Requested: No

Summary: Pietro steals your freshly made cookies which leads to friendly {;)} banter in the kitchen

(Y/N)= your name
(Y/E/C)= your eye color
(Y/H/C)= your hair color


There he was. Pietro Maximoff. He walking past the kitchen. I was about to say something to him when the oven’s timer beeped. I groaned inwardly. I hastily opened the door and pulled the tray out using an oven mitt. I set it down on the counter and cleaned a bit while I waited for them to cool.

After a couple of minutes I checked on the sweet treat and they were at the perfect temperature. They weren’t too hot but they weren’t at room temperature yet. I put two on a paper towel and sat down at the table. Just as I was about to take a bite, there was a silver blur and my hand was empty.

“You know (Y/N), you make some great cookies”

My eyes darted to the other side of the counter where I heard the heavily accented voice. I giggled a bit.

“You couldn’t get your own?”
I responded in a light tone.

“Yours looked the best”
He licked some of the remaining crumbs and chocolate chip from his thumb.
“And I was right”

“Well thank you. Want me to show you how I made them?”
I offered.

I considered Pietro a friend. Him and his sister Wanda were the new guys. They haven’t interacted too much with the rest of us. Wanda still blames herself for the whole Ultron thing and Pietro doesn’t want to leave his twin’s side. They train with Nat and Clint, working on their agility and accuracy. They sort of shut down when anybody else goes into the training room with them.

“I’d love that”
He grinned and jumped up from his seated position.

“Okay! The first thing you do is heat the oven to 350°”
I told him gesturing to the oven.

He turned the dials and looked back at me for approval. I nodded my head. I told him what the rest of the ingredients were and he pulled them from various cabinets.

“Then just put two cups of flour in the dry mix and two eggs in the other bowl!”
I clapped my hands together.

He was carefully scraping the excess flour off the top of the measuring spoon in severe concentration. His eyes were squinty and his lips were downturned in the slightest frown. Those pink lips that look so soft. I sighed a little when he looked up.

“Like this, yes?”

I nodded shaking off my fantasies of kissing those wonderful lips of his. He dumped it into the bowl and started on another cup. I absentmindedly watched him while he evened it out. Once he was finished he looked at me.

“You can dump it in now Pietro”
I grinned

“I know”
He simply nodded.

I furrowed my eyebrows giving him a look of confusion. He smirked in return. In a split second he was on the other side of the kitchen and I had flour all over me. I gasped. No he did not.

I looked at him angrily. He was giggling but stopped when he saw my face. He cautiously walked towards me. I backed up so my back was directly in front of the counter. I felt around blindly for what I was looking for. When my hands wrapped around the little ball I mentally cheered.

“I’m sorry (Y/N) I was trying to mess around”
He had his hands in front of him in a surrender position.

Once he was only a few inches in front of me I brought my hand around and smashed the egg on his head.

“Oh it’s on”

He grabbed an egg from the carton and was darting around the room. I grabbed the bag of flour ready for anything. I saw a flash of blue out of the corner of my eye. I turned to my left expecting to see him there. I heard a creak and froze. I slowly turned around. Right when I saw his silver hair there was a cold sticky substance dripping down my (Y/H/C) hair.

I reacted quickly throwing flour in his general direction. He appeared right behind me again.

“What? You didn’t see that coming?”
He laughed.

I jumped on his back before he could run away and dumped the entire bag of flour on his head. He gasped and I got down from his back with a triumphant grin.

“You didn’t see that coming?”
I asked in a terrible mock accent.

He chuckled and walked closer to me. He moved a strand of my hair-that was covered in egg and flour no doubt- from my face and tucked it behind my ear. I had to look up at him due to him being several inches taller than me. My (Y/E/C) eyes staring into his icey blue ones.

I tried not to think about what his lips would feel like against mine. I tried not to think about how soft they would be, fitting perfectly with mine. He glanced down at my lips and started leaning in. He hesitated and I met him halfway.

Our lips connected and immediately his hands were in my hair. He pulled it from around my face and held it gently. My hands made their way to hold his cheeks. He pulled away and rested his forehead on mine. Before either one of us could say anything the door swung open.

I looked past Pietro and saw Tony. Great. All he’s going to do is tease us. He looked at our position and then our clothes and the rest of the kitchen. I followed his eyes. Damn, we really did make a mess didn’t we?

Pietro had turned around and was watching him intently. Tony opened his mouth to say something but shut it. He opened it again,

“Please just don’t have sex in the kitchen, we have to eat here”
He shook his head slightly and walked out.

I looked back up at Pietro.

“We are a mess”
I said through my giggles.

He nodded his head.

“I need to shower, then I’ll help you clean this all up okay?”
I started walking out of the kitchen.

He nodded again still standing there.

“You coming Speedy?”
I asked.

He looked up.
“A-am I coming?”

“Yeah, let’s go!”
I exclaimed.

He looked confused but had a hopeful glint in his eye.

I shrugged as I sauntered out the kitchen door.
“I don’t know”
I called walking down the hallway. I heard footsteps and grinned. This will be fun.

Cleaning an enclosure with a leopard gecko in it is like making the bed with help from cats.

Remember that post I made a long time ago about stupid shit customers put in our trash bins?

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This happened today, March 28th, 2015. I go to change the customer restroom trash a bit early, because it got very slow in the mid-afternoon. Usually, all that’s in the garbage is paper towels and the occasional wrapper. This time, when I tipped the bin upside-down into the larger trash we have in the back, I heard a *thump* and felt something much heavier than paper bumping around. So I fish out this (very pristine-looking) coin purse that was stuck BEHIND the bags. “Hm,” says I, “how odd. Perhaps there is money or an ID inside that someone may come looking for.”


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My bewildered eyes meet this glitter glue-decorated crack pipe, which, I must reiterate, had ever-so-stealthily [/sarcasm] been hidden under the bin liners (and not in the actual trash).  Also, that lighter is a designer Bic that says “YEP” on it.  Clearly, someone meant to come back for this.  But how did nobody figure that anyone else would find it?  I ended up stepping on it so no weirdos would go dumpster diving in our garbage to try and find/use it.  And then I proceeded to sanitize my hands twice over, despite not actually touching any of the contents of the coin purse.  CRACK IS WHACK, KIDS.  BE NICE TO YOUR BARISTAS, AND DON’T DO DRUGS IN OUR RESTROOMS.

Easy, no cost way to strain tofu! (No more wasting paper towels)

1. Get a flat plate that’s deep enough to hold some water
2. Place tofu pack face down on plate
3. Put tofu on top of tofu pack
4. Put something heavy on top to squish out the water
5. Leave it like that for 30 minutes - 1 hour (I usually forget about it and leave it for longer)

Straining your tofu helps it absorb flavor better (:

After a workout Adrian liked to take a cold shower that turned into a hot one. The change in temp was something he loved. So he stripped down and put a towel around his waist as he walked into the shower area. He found one and stepped in, closing the curtain. He took off his towel and put it on the hook before turning around to turn the cold water on. Hearing the curtain move he turned, “Occupied.”

ellenshepard  asked:

Ellen gasped as she found herself blinded by a bright flash of light. When she opened her eyes again, she found herself standing in a large, very well decorated room. She looked around, unable to find anything familiar about the place. "Hello? Is there anyone here?"

The dogs started barking, and soon Mina stepped out of the kitchen, via sitting room, dish towel slung over her shoulder. “Hello, yes, someone is here,” she said, her soft, southern accented voice barely carrying.

She looked down at the Giant Black Schnauzer at her side. “Anubis, you be nice to our guest.” He nodded, but stayed at Mina’s side.

“Come on back to the kitchen, I just put something in the oven.” She smiled, and motioned for the guest to follow her back through the sitting room. “My name is Carmina, but everyone just calls me Mina. What do you prefer to be called?”

Two Brunettes and a Redhead || Luke, Avery & Mina

Luke had sent Mina a message earlier in the day to make sure she was still up for the threesome with him and Avery. Now he was in the shower after a long training session during the day. He washed himself thoroughly, wanting to be nice and clean before he got dirty again with the two women.

Stepping out of the shower, dried himself then wrapped a towel around his middle and went looking for Avery. “Hey, you feeling ok about this?” he asked her once he found her, putting his arms around her body, and squeezing slightly.

Luke was quite excited for Mina to join them that night. He wanted to watch them both together. “Think I should wear a robe or something?” he asked Avery, glancing down at the towel still wrapped around his middle. “Or would you rather I just walk around naked for the rest of the night?”

Luke smirked at Avery, and grabbed her ass. He kissed her passionately for a moment, tongue toying with hers before he pulled away and rested his forehead on hers. “I love you baby” he murmured. “But you have no idea how badly I want to watch you fuck a girl whilst my cock is in your perfect ass.” He gave her a spank.


After finding out that while she was in the shower her suitcase went missing, Mikey was left to sit on the bathroom floor in her room, with the door closed and nothing but a towel on. Basically refusing to step out of there with no clothes. She was relieved when Ryan replied her text and was willing to come help her and get her something to wear, just so she could finally step out of the bathroom. She cursed herself for the unintentional smile that played on her lips as she read Ryan’s texts, putting her phone down beside her as she waited for the girl to come.

Niall Horan Imagine - Hot Neighbour Plus a Fire

[Niall - Hot Neighbour plus a fire]


“Shit Shit Shit”

You rush about your kitchen looking for something, anything that could help you put out the fire coming from your oven. You were never the best cook, but for this to happen was a bit unexpected.

“Do I have a fire extinguisher? No. Water? Nope, can sometimes feed it. A towel! I can use a towel!” You babble to yourself.

You grab the nearest towel and quickly start to pat down the fire. It starts to work and you can feel yourself relaxing a bit knowing its going out. Unfortunately for you the last few flickering flames made your towel go alight as well, causing you to scream and throw it on the ground.

“That does not happen in the movies”

Not knowing what else to do you run out your flats door and start to bang on your neighbours. The neighbour who you have never met before too.

“Help! There’s a fire, please I need help”

Rather fast the door is flung open and for a few minutes your stunned by who’s there. Hot hot hot, and you aren’t talking about the fire. You do not remember him being your neighbour even if you’d never seen him. Although, you did just moved in a few weeks ago.

Why where you here again? Oh fuck yeah, fire, there is a fire in your kitchen.

“You said there was a fire?” His eyebrow goes up and you take a second to control your hormones.

“Yes. I was trying to cook lasagne and long story short - I can’t cook for shit”

He looks down and swears.

“Okay you go call the fire brigade and I’ll pull the alarm and get everyone out.” He says before quietly mumbling “This is all I need right now”

Assuming you weren’t meant to hear that you just nod and start to fumble with your pockets to get you phone out.

You didn’t know it would cause him this much trouble. It’s not your fault…well, actually it is but he doesn’t need to talk like its the end of the world.

You call 999 and after giving the address of the building you have a peek in your flat. Your eyes widen at the flames engulfing your kitchen. Well damm.

“Hey! Get out! The hell are you doing?”

A hand comes out and grabs your arm yanking you away from your door. You already know who it is by his voice and try to ignore the shivers going through you to concentrate on him.

“Are you stupid! You don’t go towards the fire!” He shouts

“I-I’m sorry” you stutter.

His eyes soften and his grip on your arm loosens.

“No, sorry. It’s just you could get hurt” he looks away before mumbling under his breath “You’re a lot of work you know”

You huff and turn away, making sure to rip your arm from his.

“Where are you going?” He calls after you.

“Outside. Away from the fire, but you’re welcomed to stay if you want”

Before you know it he’s ran up beside you and walks down the stairs with you. You try to ignore him and also make sure you don’t trip while going down the stairs. You need to hurry, don’t need to be turning into ash anytime soon.

You can hear the fire engines far off and you breathe a sigh of relief. Now all you have to do of find a place to stay. Easy enough right?

“Took them long enough” you mutter bitterly.

“Well at least they’re here”

Is he always this glass half full?

Finally you reach the bottom and together you both walk out of the building, and follow everyone’s gaze to your window.

“Yeesh, that was one lasagne” he teases.

“Oh ha ha ha”

He turns towards you and puts his hand out for you to shake, whilst taking it you introduces himself.

“Niall Horan, nice to meet you”

“Yeah I know who you are. Y/N Y/L/N, and I wish it was on better circumstances”

He laughs, and you find yourself thinking that you’d like to hear it more often. Especially if he hit that twinkle in his eye.

As soon as you’re about to ask him to hang out a police man walks up to you, asking if he could talk to you. Just to get the details correct he had said.

You nodded a bit disappointed that your conversation with Niall had o be cut short, but he was your neighbour anyway. Maybe you could ask him for a cup of sugar one day.

You turn to walk away and as you make your first couple steps you hear him call out your name. You see him jogging towards you and you have to admit but he looks hot while doing it. You could imagine it happening in slow motion.

“Do you need something?” You ask him teasingly.

“Well I know that you won’t be able to live in your flat for a while so you’ll have to move in with someone. And I’m guessing that it isn’t here. So here’s my number. If you ever want to catch a cup of coffee, give me a ring”

You nearly coo at the blush arising in his cheeks and restrain yourself from squeezing his cheeks.

“I’ll think about it”

You smile at him and yet a smile in return. When you thought he was going to turn away he surprised you by leaning forward and giving you a kiss on the cheek. Making you turn bright red.

“I’ll be waiting for that call” he says huskily.

And then he walked away, and you could just make out the grin stretching across his face while you try not to faint.


I know this one is very strange and the worst writing I’ve ever done. But the idea couldn’t leave my head until I’d wrote it. So if you can make sense of anything of the garbage enjoy!

shizuos replied to your post: the only thing i love more than domest…

FREAKING OUT IZAYA IS THE BEST sulking izaya pouting izaya and confused shizuo with his favorite pudding

like honestly, something completely ordinary sets izaya off one day, something like taxes or budgeting their groceries or rental insurance, and shizuo’s so ???? IZAYA CALM DOWN