pushing oneself

Chiron

The little asteroid in your chart that represents healing. Take note Chiron is hard to draw up, some sites and charts don’t always pick it up. The one I like to use is through astrotheme.com. Chiron can talk about healing from “past lives” and other times it is considered where you are naturally wounded in life. I am going to concentrate on the “wounds” in life and issues one might have to overcome, as well as how one can heal. 

Aries Chiron: The wound is in the ego. They may have low self-esteem, shy away from conflict and individualism. Healing comes from concentrating on the self. Finding assertiveness and confidence. Once healing starts they can push others into action, encourages confidence, challenges others identity.

Taurus Chiron: Wound in security. Might feel uprooted and unstable throughout life. Insecure in their own strength. Healing is all about finding inner security. They help others by being strong and stable for them.

Gemini Chiron: All about wounds in communication. Finds it hard to express themselves, connect, and can never seem to find the right words. Can easily be misunderstood, prefers to observe and worries their intellect will be judged. Healing comes from expressing themselves, they must find their voice and not fear wounding words or misunderstandings. Helps others speak their mind and find their voice.

Cancer Chiron: Wound is emotional, especially with facing abandonment, coldness, or unhealthy attachment in life. Associated with having stress directly linked to the body, an unhealthy mind/heart will produce physical sickness. Healing comes from finding their inner mother, learn self-nurturing, compassion, healing, and protection. Healing comes from learning healthy detachment. Helps to nurture and protect others. Encourages others.

Leo Chiron: Struggles with self-expression, wound is in the ego, can lack confidence and empowerment. Associated with head vs. heart issues. Healing comes by finding outlets and tools of empowerment, must develop their confidence. Then they can help empower others.

Virgo Chiron: Associated with pushing oneself too hard, nervous energy, anxiety, harsh self-criticism, easily used by others. Healing comes from self-acceptance, helping others on their own terms, and by learning tolerance. Has the ability to serve others in a meaningful way and shows others balance between judgment and tolerance.

Libra Chiron: Wound is centered on self love and loving others. Gives into self-hate, losing identity, selfishness, jealousy, insecurity. Is prone to giving in, being manipulated, and abused for the sake of a relationship or approval from another. Healing comes through self-love, putting their needs first, learning what others need. Teaches others how to love.

Scorpio Chiron: Has a huge association with trauma-driven wounds. Their dark side takes over subconsciously. Fear of the world and themselves. Associated with sexual abuse. Has a connection with past life trauma. Associated with family spread or community trauma. Healing comes from accepting the past and facing their dark side. Helps others to face their inner darkness and trauma. Could help a community overcome their darkness. 

Sagittarius Chiron: Wound is in their belief system and mind. Might be discouraged or suppressed by a belief system. Loses their morals. Could be closed-minded, associated with corrupt morals, might have hatred towards a belief system.  Healing comes from learning a new perspective. By exploring their own and others beliefs. Helps to open others’ minds.

Capricorn Chiron: Wound has to do with authority and quiet suffering. Struggles with authority figures, finds it hard to gain their own authority. Might be apathetic or cold to others but more cold to themselves, too much control in their life, struggles with power.  Healing comes by finding their inner authority and/or learning to sympathize with others and themselves. Shows others how to take charge of their destiny, shows a different way to sympathize with others.

Aquarius Chiron: Wound is based on not being accepted into society. Easily feels outcasted, rejected, alienated, maybe even a scapegoat. Healing comes by accepting their individualism, learns to feed their needs first before society. Helps others essentially say forget society. Pushes individualism.

Pisces Chiron: Wound is spiritual. Lose their own imagination/creativity, finds it hard to set firm beliefs, inner conflict with beliefs. Heals by integrating their beliefs into their daily life. Helps others to accept and learn their own divine system.

anonymous asked:

Do you still draw fanart for Hamilton?

MY HOPE IS TO STILL DRAW FANART FOR HAMILTON FOREVER I AM NOT GONE FROM IT NOR WILL IT EVER LEAVE MY HEART but unfortunately my heart has also discovered other things it loves because my heart is a fickle, two-timing, cheating scumbag who never learns so please allow patience while my heart figures its shit out and sifts through 5 different current loves and also a full time job that’s kicking my heart’s ass. 

This is a long way to say yes, I absolutely still have planned fanart for Ham (among other things)!! But also ALSO I’m having a difficult time doing art in general right now so when I get the spare second to draw, I gotta do my heart’s bidding at that exact moment and seize on that energy. Sometimes lately that hasn’t been Hamilton, even though my love for it burns fiercely. I beg patience and forgiveness!!

So brain sads have got me in selective mutism mode.

I can talk to you about your stuff though there has been a lot of discarding replies/reblogs! Sorry!, I can somewhat talk about the world but “me” posts never even get as far as typed up and discarded, not even dog or doll posts (I have no idea why).

This has happened before and usually goes with stuttering, slurring, panic and trouble finding words.

Yes technically this is a “me” post to say why I havn’t done “me” posts.

Brains, maaaan!

Keep reading

The more I’m reading about traditional witchcraft, the more I’m coming to the conclusion that No. Not everyone is a witch. And it’s really not fair to sit there and say everyone is.

Look I’m all for equality and everyone practicing their spirituality how it suits them best. I’m not here to police someone else belief system. There would be no point in it. People are entitled to believe what they want and how they want and really there’s nothing I can do about it one way or the other.

Yet somehow, I do find it irksome. I’ve been through wicca and paganism and druidry. All of them have their own value and I can see how different people would be attracted to these sects and want to practice. I have nothing negative to impart. But even in all these paths, there was a period of learning. A desire to gain greater wisdom and push oneself forward along the path.

Why is it nobody thinks that being a witch requires the same level of study and application before you can own the title? Would you just give someone a degree because they showed up and said they wanted one?

To be honest, I’m not a witch either. Not yet at any rate. I’m working towards that end and yes, it is work. Actual work. It requires study and dedication and applying what you know. It requires risking a great deal in order to move along the path of self discovery and wisdom until you meet your dark self and conquer your own worst fears.

So tell me. What makes you a witch?

I always forget how important the empty days are, how important it may be sometimes not to expect to produce anything, even a few lines in a journal. A day when one has not pushed oneself to the limit seems a damaged damaging day, a sinful day. Not so! The most valuable thing one can do for the psyche, occasionally, is to let it rest, wander, live in the changing light of a room.
—  May Sarton, Journal of a Solitude

2/05/2017
Been studying hard for my upcoming exams, German and then history.
History scares me more because it is an essay writing subject which I am weaker at ;;

May study challenge day 2: what is your life philosophy?

I have never really thought much about it but I am currently all about pushing boundaries and proving oneself.

amozon28  asked:

prompt: obi need to relax so shirayuki gives him a back massage

Thanks for the prompt!!


He looks positively miserable.

Shirayuki frowns as she watches his hand dig into his shoulder, his eyes staring absentmindedly at nothing off to the side. She doubts he’s even fully aware of just how tense the rest of him appears to be, drawn tight, like a guitar string about to snap.

She supposes that like every instrument, he needs to be tuned every once in awhile. Obi tended to use his body like some sort of tool, pushing it to its limits and ignoring his own discomfort. Letting people down, disappointing them or not meeting their expectations is not something that he can handle. He likes to feel needed and desires to be irreplaceable. He refuses to slow down for even a second, lest someone realize that he’s not invincible and move on.

He likes to think that he’s an enigma, but she’s got him pretty well figured out.

Still, she thinks as she sets down her pruning shears, it’s not okay to push oneself to the point of breaking down. Shirayuki rinses the greenery from her hands and decides that some things are more important right now than floral arrangements.

“Obi?”

He starts, obviously focused on something else, and flashes her a bright smile. She can’t help but notice how tight it is around the edges. “Yes my lady?”

Shirayuki comes to stand in front of him. Tilting her head back, she stares into his eyes and demands, “How long are you going to live with that pain?”

His smile falters and he tilts his head at her. Caught. “What do you mean?”

Unimpressed with his feigning ignorance, she rolls her eyes, wrapping her hand around his fingers and tugging him along behind her towards the island where her arrangement sits unfinished. She ignores his questioning as she pulls out a stool and directs him to sit, pushing upon his shoulders gently and urging him to drop down onto the cold, grey metal.

“Really-” he insists as his head swivels around to follow her movements. “I’m completely fine-”

Standing behind him, she shakes out her hands and gently presses them into his trapezius. “You’re a terrible liar, Obi.” Actually, if she was to be perfectly honest, she just couldn’t stand the glazed look in his eyes, dulled with discomfort as he pushed the pain away. Nobody (least of all him) should have to pretend to be fine when they weren’t.

Obi sat stiffly upon the stool, his hands clenched into fists in his lap as Shirayuki began to feel out the extent of his tension. “Does it hurt?” She asked gently as she pressed her thumbs into the corded flesh.

Obi sucked in a breath, exhaling a denial as she began to exert more pressure. He sighed as her fingertips stroked along either side of his spine, the warm skin of his neck vibrating beneath her hands as he let a small moan slip from between his lips.

Shirayuki smiled as she watched Obi’s posture loosen, his spine unwinding as he murmured incoherent praise, her thumbs sweeping down the length of his back, focusing on his clavicles as he tilted his head back and gurgled.

“Good?” She murmured with a smile, pressing her palms along the tops of his shoulders and wringing the tension from him. She gripped his upper arms and pushed them together and up, rolling his shoulders for him in a steady pace.

“Uh-huh,” he groaned, humming his pleasure as his eyes slowly closed. His face was the most peaceful that she had ever seen it, every little dip and curve of his spine smoothing out beneath her hands. He relaxed back against her as she worked, his eyes practically rolling behind his closed eyelids, and she frowned at the state of his poor overused body.

She couldn’t believe how tight his muscles were. How long had he been suffering in silence? She ran her fingernails up and down his back, rucking up his black shirt as he practically purred. Pressing the heel of her palms in between his shoulder blades, she watched his back arch like a cat, limber muscles moving beneath worn cotton.

“Better?” She asked with a gentle smile, coming around to stand before him.

Obi tilted his head up at her sluggishly, his golden eyes sleepy and facial expression lax. Her poor heart. “Mhm,” he hummed, stretching his arms up over his head and rapidly tilting his neck from side to side as he rolled his shoulders. “Thanks, Miss. Didn’t know how bad I needed that.”

The phone at the front desk rang and he stood to go and answer it. Shirayuki watched his retreating form, remembering just how the splay of those lithe muscles felt beneath her hands. The smell of him clung to her palms, and she found herself inhaling it deeply.

She didn’t realize how badly she needed that, either.

anonymous asked:

Can you explain the difference between INFP and INFJ perfectionism?

The observable differences could be quite subtle, so it’s a good question to ask. I’m not even sure I can explain it all that clearly…

INFP perfectionism is more related to feeling inadequate in terms of their ideals always being just out of reach. The combination of Ne-Si gives them a sense of what is possible and also which details to focus on in terms of realizing that possibility. But Ne is fluid and always seeing more or greater possibilities so, in a way, it might seem like the goalposts are always moving. It might also seem like the details are never quite right and the more they obsess on those details, the more hopeless the situation feels.

INFJ perfectionism is more related to feeling like a failure in terms of mastering the future in the way they imagined they could. Ni gives them a rather rigid view of themselves and what life should be like. Poor attention to Se means that their vision is often unrealistic in terms of setting the standards much too high. And then their sense of self-worth is tied to how high they or others can jump to reach those standards. This constant pushing of oneself to jump higher makes INFJs very prone to feeling burn-out because they sort of get tunnel vision; their eyes are always too focused on the prize and they cannot enjoy the journey of getting there.

Sam's Guide to Mindfulness

“Even my desire to become free or enlightened is just another craving for fulfillment or completion in the future. So don’t seek to become free or desire or “achieve” enlightenment. Become present.”

— Eckhart Tolle 

The above quote encapsulates the idea of of “mindfulness” as described in the Buddhist literature.  However, it seems, to some to be both counter intuitive and virtually impossible to achieve and so is a distant target so far away that it is not worth seeking.  How can we be “present” all the time? How can we never think of the past or of the future?  What human being could function this way?  Surely this is a skill for mystics, monks and Indian Sadhus but has very little meaning for a Mom with three kids to get to school every day or so we might think.

It might seem so, but the reality is: It can be done and it is not nearly so difficult as it seems.  First let’s clear up some misconceptions.  When we talk about living in the “now” we do not mean that we have no perception of past or present.  Mindfulness is simply a return to the way we thought as children BEFORE we got bogged down with our inner voice.  We adults “filter” our experiences through the lenses of our conscious mind and inner talking.   We do not experience life first hand.  We instead, and this is odd but true, describe life to ourselves in language so we are experiencing it second hand as symbolic information rather than real world information.

If you play an instrument, sing or play a sport think of the times you are into it.  If you think rather than experience directly you will always be a step behind.  That’s why teachers and coaches who have never heard of mindfulness practice will tell you “stop thinking so much” and “feel the music” and “don’t think about the ball feel the ball”.  Makes perfect sense.  If you are trying to hit a fastball and you are telling yourself “I’m waiting for the pitch, here it is, swing” you are gonna strike out every time.  You need to ACT IN THE PRESENT MOMENT!

This then is mindfulness.

We have a natural tendency to create imagined futures colored by our fears and desires.  This state of awareness cuts us off from the true reality, what is here and now.  

Meditation can teach us mindfulness.  When we concentrate say upon a mantra, a candle flame or our breathing initially our minds will rebel like wild horses to the bridle. Our minds seek to “interpret” the objects of our awareness by comparing, contrasting and making connections to other experiences or observations.  This is not necessarily a bad thing it is just that in doing so we are once removed from our observation.  We do not see the thing.  Instead, in our minds, we transform the thing into a symbol of the thing. Only by gently, without frustration, bringing our observation back to the original can we truly see what truly is.

At first we may have to do this many times in a session.  Gradually, with practice, it will become easier and easier until we recognize the state of mindfulness and can summon it at will as we don a comfortable familiar garment. When this skill is achieved we are well on our way to clarity and from clarity to inner peace. 

Learn mindfulness, quiet the chatter in your mind by taking control of your inner dialog and you will experience true joy, you will see the world in a new and fresh light and you will never be the same again. When ever a bit of wisdom is found in several different times and places in a variety of spiritual traditions chances are it is universal in scope and a very valuable bit of knowledge. 

Live in the now … it is all that there is.

Mindfulness does not mean pushing oneself toward something or hanging on to something. It means allowing oneself to be there in the very moment of what is happening in the living process — and then letting go.

—      Chogyam Trungpa

It's that time of year again...

Not everyone is going to have a happy Thanksgiving, the history of it aside. Some of us will get stuck breaking bread with those who’d rather we not have it at all. Family members who are racist, ableist, classist, ageist, homophobic, transphobic, etc. whose “opinions” invalidate the very existences of many of us.

And to top it all off, there are the events in Ferguson that such family members are likely to rant and rave about. If you’re in no position to argue against them, see if you can try and recommend that politics not be discussed at the dinner table. An unspoken rule of table manners tends to be that neither politics nor religion are part of dinner conversation, so you may be able to use that to your advantage.

If you’re magically inclined, you have a bit more in your arsenal, even if you aren’t the cursing type. Here’s some spells that I feel would help best:

Do what you can to keep yourself safe. If that means silence, do it. If it means nodding in fake agreement with problematic comments, do it. If it means misrepresenting your own viewpoints, do it. What’s happened in Ferguson and around the world is important to spread awareness of, but your words may fall on ears with selective hearing that belong to dangerous individuals. Don’t put yourself at risk if you don’t feel that you can bear any possible backlash. 

If nothing else, there are many ways you can support the protesters in Ferguson.

The Oscars 2015: For the Birds

Richard Brody on last night’s ceremonies:

There’s no kind of acting that Hollywood venerates more than the highly constructed, technically sophisticated acting of the theatre—especially the British theatre, a tradition that also shows its work. Work can be controlled: one can study harder, research deeper, push oneself further. Charisma, the kind of natural power that a great movie actor exerts by doing nothing, is scary because it’s outside the performer’s control: it comes by the grace of God, and can vanish just as mysteriously. “Birdman” wins, in effect, in response to the ambient fear that the good times can all end suddenly.

Above: Alejandro González Iñárritu accepts the Best Picture prize for “Birdman,” surrounded by the film’s cast and crew. Photograph by John Shearer/Invision/AP

Life is quite unbearable for a human without the “risk and adventure” of a story bound life. What we are looking for when we look for the “meaning of life” is the greater story. The unfortunate truth, suggested by science and vehemently denied by religion, is that there is no greater story. We may make up stories and allow them to shape our perceptions, but ultimately there is no story. We are all living in the epilogue of our reality, or rather worse, because there never was a story. For many of us, our personal stories have run out - and it’s extremely difficult to push oneself into a new story once you see that all stories are vanity. It is like the difficulty of staying in a dream once one realizes one is dreaming
—  Sarah Perry, Every Cradle Is a Grave, P. 209