I wake up suddenly, instantly guilty that I managed
to literally pass out right in the middle of listening to Mulder waxing lyrical
on the potentiality of fate, of the different paths we are destined to take
throughout our lives; the paths in fact that we ourselves have taken to bring us right here to this point in time in
our strange partnership.
Sometimes I have trouble categorising exactly what it is we
share, what exactly is the product of our seven year history together that has
seen us fight and fall and push ourselves far away from each other so many
times; only to somehow always manage to re-connect once more?
More than once I have tried to rationalise
this thing we have, this us that is separate from our working
lives but at the same time, the threads of our professional history are still
wound tightly around us, refusing to fully separate, to allow us to be the
people we both yearn to be. I’m not
stupid, I know that a normal life can never be for us, that what others take
for granted – a home, a family, simple pleasures that are nothing and
everything at the same time – are distressingly unobtainable.
Because even if Mulder and I had chosen to
keep hold of the feelings for each other that we had denied for so long and
instead turned to others to help fill in the blanks in our lives that our work
on the X-Files had brought upon us, I still believe that those simple life
expectations could never be for us. Too
much has happened and too much has been lost and I came to realise a very long time ago that I could never risk bringing in
anyone from outside this frightening world we inhabit; that enough innocents
have been lost to our quest already. The blood on my hands is ever present and I know with a certainty that paralyses me
at times, that I will never be able to completely cleanse myself of the guilt I
carry around with me for the part I played in the destruction of the
relationships and the people I loved.
Nesta hasn’t seen her sisters in almost a year. When she’s invited back to their lake house for a long weekend, Feyre insists she brings the boyfriend she’s told her about. The only problem is, he doesn’t exist.
So out of desperation, her friend sets her up with Cassian. Somehow a weekend filled with fake hand holding and kisses, turns Nesta back into the girl she was before Tomas had destroyed her and the relationship she had with her sisters.
“Fuck. Fuck, fuck,” I slammed my laptop shut as I threw my pen across the room. Of course my sisters would decide to have a start of summer weekend at the lake. And of course they would call me out for the lies I told them about the boy I met while here in the city.
It had been almost six months since I had last seen my sisters. I moved to the city as soon as I could, as soon as I found a job that would help me pay my half of the rent. I wanted out of that small town, I had to walk away before the memories, the ghosts haunted me forever. The city was my fresh start and even though neither of them understood, they let me go.
Feyre and I talked at least once a month on the phone. She kept asking me how I was doing and she told me that Tomas still asked about me. What she didn’t understand, even though I always changed the subject, was that I didn’t want to know about Tomas. I didn’t want to know about anyone in that small ass town because they were the reason why I left. The only reason I talked to Feyre was to check up on her and Elain.
They were the only family I had left. They were the only ones who mattered.
Sure I missed them. I missed my sisters, but it wasn’t enough to make me go visit home. I wasn’t homesick, I was content here in the city, in this new life I had made for myself. I loved my job at the bookstore. I loved the fact that I could walk everywhere and that things were open well into the night. But most of all I loved the fact that no one knew me. They didn’t know the secrets that had been whispered behind my back. They didn’t know how Tomas had tried to ruin me.
They didn’t know that he had almost won that war.
I read Feyre’s email again. Our lake house, the only thing our father had left to us. The lake house that had sat unused for years until we were old enough to realize the benefits of having that big house that sat right there at the water. The only reason we still owned it was because it was completely paid off. That and somehow Feyre and her fiancee were able to keep up with it.
The lake house where so many things had happened. So many things hadn’t happened too. There had been parties, there had been underage drinking. But mostly there had been tears. From me.
I pushed away those memories and looked at my computer. What was I supposed to do? I had started the lie to make my sister feel better. For her to think I wasn’t all alone out here in the city. Because she didn’t understand that I wanted to be alone. I didn’t want to be with someone who hurt me, who could destroy me. Not after I had been with Tomas for so long.
But I couldn’t tell her that truth. Not when I had fed her enough lies to make this boyfriend seem real. She was happy for me, she didn’t worry about me because she thought I had someone taking care of me. I didn’t need someone to take care of me. Just like I knew Feyre didn’t need her fiancee to take care of her. But it was nice knowing she had someone steady. She had someone real after the horrors that Tamlin had dealt her.
My sisters didn’t know about Tomas. They didn’t really know much about why I wanted to leave. It had been different when our parents died. I could’ve left and they would’ve understood. But I stayed until they were finished high school and then when Feyre announced she was getting married last year I up and left. I didn’t even say goodbye I just left a letter explaining I needed to find my own way now that they were both able to take care of themselves.
I pulled my hair hard, trying to stop the tears from filling my eyes. I didn’t cry, not easily. But I got teary eyed when I was frustrated. I couldn’t tell them the truth. So what was I supposed to do? I squeezed my eyes shut and the door to my apartment opened.
“Fuck me this can’t be happening.”
“Nesta!” I jumped at Rita’s voice, “you seem agitated.”
I met my roommate Rita at the bookstore. She was leaving for another job and I said something about needing a place to stay. We hit it off right away and I didn’t hate living with her. Sure our apartment was small, smaller than the home I had shared with my two sisters. But it was ours, I paid rent and I had my own room. Rita didn’t nag me about my mess and I didn’t nag her about hers.
We were good roommates. We got along and we left each other alone when we knew the other needed space. We were friends, but we were almost roommates. We didn’t get in each other’s business unless there was a reason to. I had gotten lucky.
I groaned, "my sisters want to have a long weekend at the lake.”
“Not when you’ve been lying about having a boyfriend. And they want you to bring him along.”
Rita laughed, “oh shit I forgot. Damn what are you going to do?”
I shook my head, “I’ll think of something.”
I leaned back in my chair and Rita watched me. She raised an eyebrow and smiled, “I might know someone who can help.”
“No. The last guy you introduced me to was disgusting.”
His name was Adam and he was a hipster to end all hipsters. His hair was dirty and his glasses were round. They didn’t even have frames, and he spoke in riddles. I didn’t even spend five minutes in his presence. I found an excuse to leave, I texted Rita and told her to call me, and up and left him high and dry at the coffee shop we met at.
Rita laughed, “I’m sorry okay. I thought you’d get along. But you’ll like this one. Should I have him meet you? Even if he’s not the brightest, he’s easy on the eyes.”
She wiggled her eyebrows at me and I couldn’t help but laugh. I bit my lip, was I that desperate?
“Really? Your advice is that I hire someone to be my boyfriend for the weekend?”
She shrugged as she set her bag on the counter, “it’s either that or tell them the truth, Nes. I’m not sure which is worse since you seem so opposed to letting your sisters believe you have someone in your life.”
I winced. Rita never told me what to do, she never scolded me for lying to my sisters. But I knew she was right. If I was so okay with being alone, and I swore I was, then why did I feel the need to please my little sister? I’m sure there was some therapist who would say I really wasn’t okay being alone and that some part of me wanted someone around.
But I wouldn’t believe them. Because I didn’t need anyone, I only needed myself. But I didn’t want my sisters to worry. I didn’t want them to think I left them because they were a burden. They are my sisters and I will always be there for them. But it’s my turn to have a life. It’s my turn to find where I’m supposed to be.
I looked at Rita, she was texting someone. She sat down on the couch and I looked at the picture of the three of us. The only picture I had on my desk of us when I was five and they were babies. I was always there, always taking care of them. They were my best friends, before that night drove us apart. Before that night pushed me so far away from everyone else that I couldn’t find my way back to them.
I didn’t want them to ask about it. I didn’t want them to think they needed to figure me out. If I had someone with me they would direct the attention to him. They would ask him about his life and how we met and what we did, instead of berating me with questions about why I left.
I let out a slow breath and Rita looked at me. She smiled slightly, like she already knew what I was about to say. My cheeks were red as I let the thoughts settle and I nodded my head slowly.
“Fine,” I gritted my teeth as I looked at the clock, “tell your friend to meet me at Luke’s diner in five minutes.”
“He’s already on his way. Trust me you’ll like him. He’s big and handsome,” her eyes got wide as if she had a crush on him herself, “he’s just your type.”
I rolled my eyes and stood up, “if he’s a hipster I swear to god I’ll kill you.”
Rita’s laugh followed me as I grabbed my purse and headed out the door. I walked down the steps, my heart pounding as I opened the door to our building. The sun was warm, the weather had already started to turn to summer. But goosebumps pricked my skin as I thought about hiring someone to lie to my family.
It wasn’t lying. It was pretending. My sister would bring her fiancee, I’m sure Elain had someone. I couldn’t remember if she told me about someone important. His name started with an L? Or maybe it was a C. She didn’t talk much whenever Feyre put her on the phone, but she told me bits and pieces of her life. Elain was the most upset when they found me gone.
I felt guilty every time she called.
But I knew with Feyre came Rhys and with Rhys came his friends. Azriel the quiet one who followed Rhys’s cousin everywhere she went. Feyre told me they were finally opening up to the idea of dating and while I was happy for them all, they were one big happy family, I knew that meant I would be the odd one out. I always was the odd one out, the one who didn’t fit in. The girl who stood alone and never had someone there beside her.
I wanted this weekend, now that I knew about it, to be fun. I wanted them to see me as the Nesta I always was, not the girl I had turned into after that terrible night. The night I was running from. The night I would do anything and everything to forget.
I rubbed my hands up and down my arms as I rounded the corner and the diner came into view. I realized as I walked towards it that I wanted to go home. I wanted to go to the lake and see my sisters and the family they had made for themselves. But I didn’t want to go alone.
Sue me I still had some feelings. I still had some pride I suppose.
I walked into the diner and the bell above the door sounded. Luke, the owner, stood behind the counter and smiled at me. I nodded in greeting, my eyes sweeping the tables. I knew which one was waiting for me as soon as my eyes landed on him. I stood there for a moment too long and contemplated turning around.
He was a big hulking man, his dark hair was long. He looked warm, his skin glowing in the harsh lights of the diner. His black shirt fit perfectly over his arms and his chest. He took up enough space that my eyes couldn’t wander away from them if they tried. My heart stopped, his eyes landing on me before I could make a run for it. Before I could decide this was a terrible choice and I should just tell my sisters the truth.
“Well hello sweetheart,” he stood up and half his mouth tilted in a smile. He could’ve been attractive, if he cut his hair.
I pulled my chair out, “I’m Nesta.”
He licked his lips, “you can call me Cassian,” his eyes sparkled. Like they were hiding something he was dying for me to find out.
“Right well. I take it Rita told you why I’m here.”
He coughed, “something about you being in need of a male escort to the lake this weekend.”
I winced, “a friend,” I tried wondering if I could go through with this, “to make my sisters stop asking me why I don’t have a boyfriend okay? Can you do that? Pretend?”
Amusement filled his eyes. He tried to fight the smile that tugged at his lips, but when it didn’t stop he ran his finger along his chin. He looked down at his hands and I could tell he was thinking about more than just agreeing to helping me. Hell we didn’t know each other, we had just met and I asked him to date me. Even if it was fake, even if he was helping me, this was still weird.
Me and my stupid pride. I was about to take back the offer and tell him to forget it, that I had a mental breakdown and this was all just the biggest embarrassing moment of my life.
But then Cassian nodded slowly, “you know I’m surprise you don’t have a boyfriend. You’re cute and I know a few guys who like bossy.”
I rolled my eyes, “wow that was super helpful,” I glared at him, my hands were shaking. I shoved them under my legs as I waited to hear his answer, “you can just say no. Rita said you were single and I thought maybe you’d want a free trip to the lake for a weekend. I thought maybe…”
I stopped. I almost thought we could be friends. But I bit my lip hard enough to taste blood, stopping myself form wishing for something I could never have. I didn’t let myself get close to people, not after Tomas wedged between me and my sisters. Not since that night when he destroyed all the threads of trust I had ever had.
“I didn’t say I wouldn’t help you. I just said I’m surprised you aren’t taken,” he smiled then, he liked watching me squirm. He leaned back and stretched his arms over his head. His shirt rode up slightly and I saw the dark markings of a tattoo that disappeared beneath the waistband of his jeans.
He wiggled his eyebrows, “well how can I say no when you say my name like that?”
He watched me for a moment as relief flooded through me. As much as I hated this I felt better once he said he would help me. I hated having to lie because everyone thought I couldn’t handle life without Tomas. Except I broke up with him. And I moved here, far away from my family to have the life I wanted.
"What do I get for helping you?” He finally asked, his deep voice smooth as he propped his elbow on the table, then leaned his head on his hand. He kept staring at me and it felt like his honey brown eyes could see into my soul.
I looked down at his hands. His skin was golden, a little darker. He looked like he was carved of stone, like he could’ve been a Greek god in another lifetime. A piece of brown hair fell in his eyes and I wanted to push it back. I let out a breath. I hadn’t thought this far.
“I’ll pay you,” I finally said. I didn’t have a lot but I could do something, “it won’t be much. But you’ll get a four day weekend at the lake house. Meals and showers and everything included.”
Cassian seemed to think it over. He nodded his head, "how much?”
“I know I look cheap, but I won’t act like your boyfriend for a hundred dollars, Nesta.”
He shook his head, “you’ll have to do better than that.”
I blew out a breath, “$500. That’s my final offer.”
He reached across the table and touched my hand. His skin was warm and a spark shot down my arm. He ran his thumb over the back of my hand, “well sweetheart you’ve got yourself a deal.”
“Don’t call me sweetheart,” I snapped. My eyes narrowed.
He laughed, “well I guess we should make some ground rules.”
“The first one is no pet names. Nesta,“ I pointed at me, "Cassian. Got it?”
He sighed, “sure sweetheart.”
He wasn’t going to make this easy. I could tell as he continued to smile, his eyes lighting up as I glared at him. It was like he thought I was a challenge, like he wanted to defy everything I was saying. He licked his lips, his fingers tapping on the table as I thought through what other boundaries we needed to establish. I didn’t realize this would all happen so fast. The weekend would be here in two days and somehow I had managed to find myself a boyfriend to fill the empty role.
Feyre would love Cassian. He was everything I would never want in a boyfriend. He was the complete opposite of Tomas and I couldn’t stop letting that sway me. He was big and dark, whereas Tomas was small and light. Cassian was full of mystery, but not the kind that Tomas carried with him. Cassian seemed honorable, Tomas had just been pure evil.
I let out a slow breath and pulled my hands off the table so he wouldn’t try to touch me again. I couldn’t stop feeling that spark going down my spine. I couldn’t stop wondering why exactly I had wanted this in the first place. I shook my head and finally brought my eyes back up to his.
“Okay so I’ve got some rules. First we hold hands if someone else is in the room. No touching if we’re alone, because honestly there’s no reason for it. You’re there to make me look good. You can kiss my cheek, but nothing more. We aren’t big on public displays of affection. My sister and her fiancé are, but that’s another story,” I rolled my eyes. Feyre and Rhys could barely keep their hands off each other. I hated being stuck in a room with them.
My cheeks turned pink and my mouth went dry, “we will probably have to share a room, you sleep on the floor. We don’t share the room if the other is changing. Make sure you bring enough clothes to sleep in and a bathing suit.”
Cassian nodded, "fine. But you want this to be believable. So you’re forgetting one thing.”
He smiled and it would’ve knocked me to my knees if I wasn’t already sitting. I had a feeling I wasn’t going to make it through the weekend alive. I had a feeling this new friend of mine was going to try and climb the walls I had built this last year. Like he thought he could break down the shell I had surrounded myself inside.
HIs brown eyes danced as he looked at me, his crooked smile in place, ”the story of how we met.“
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader / Steve Rogers x Sharon Carter
Summary: You made your decision,now it’s time to face it.
Warnings: angst, sadness, pain, cheating, swearing and cursing, language
You sat on the dinner table at the tower together with Bucky munching on some grilled cheese you mostly ignored instead of eating it. You weren’t hungry not at all, but Bucky insisted that you need to eat you hadn’t had anything proper in a while and the thought of food made your stomach churn.
You glanced every few seconds to the clock on the opposite wall, checking the time and getting more nervous by every passing minute.
One of your hands were clutched tightly around your wine glass.You didn’t knew how much wine you had tonight but you certainly needed more for what was about to come.
This is the first English song I had ever listened to. So, taking recent suicide of one of the best vocalists, Chester Bennington, as a consideration and of course this band being my startup in English music, this is my tribute to him and I’m going to explain what does its lyrics contain? Let’s get started.
“I’m tired of being what you want me to be Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface”
These two lines are pretty much everything. These lines are the exact representations of depression. We always try to impress other people and we expect something from them. But later on, if we don’t get what we expect, we start feeling low, we start disrespecting ourselves, we start to feel ugly, we start to blame ourselves and all. We give our heart and soul to fit in and to be the exact person that someone wants us to be and then we lose our faith on ourselves. We forget who we are and we often tend to blame other people for trying to change us but in reality, they’re just manipulating us to use us. We are trying to change ourselves and if we ought to blame anyone for anything then we should be blaming ourselves because we are the ones trying to fit in.
“Don’t know what you’re expecting of me Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes”
We all crave attention from people we like or literally from people we want in our lives and so as to gain his/her attention, we tend to believe in whatever that particular person has got to say even if we know its mean by our hearts but we don’t want to lose him/her and we kind of say “yes” in everything. We would have no idea why that person who used to ignore us and was mean is being nice to us all of the sudden. We would have no idea what they’ve been cooking inside their minds for us but as we go on saying “yes” for everything and later there comes one point in our lives when that person returns to his initial stance with our relationship. S/he is mean again and s/he is ignoring again and we wouldn’t even realize that we are inside the bubble created by his/her scheduled and planned “good guy/girl” and “caring” reputation. Then we go mad, we cry, we get depressed, we feel hurt, we feel abused and we feel that pressure of his/her feet literally walking over our soul with no mercy like ALL the time.
“(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow) Every step that I take is another mistake to you”
There’s a dark undertow, let’s say a hole of feeling of loss and feeling of remorse after we get unannounced “ignore” and “mean” stance of relationship. But even if we are actually hurt, we still expect that person to be in our lives. We talk nice about that person, we don’t want to hurt him/her. We still try our best to get the person who was a “good guy/girl” and “caring” but every time we try to impress them they tend to push us as far away as possible and that hurts like crazy!
“I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there Become so tired, so much more aware I’m becoming this, all I want to do Is be more like me and be less like you”
Our body tends to feel sad constantly, we don’t feel anything around us. Our brain is particularly obsessed with how to get that person back and how to get loved by him/her. We feel tired, we feel helpless, we feel like there is nobody for us and we just feel void, empty, dark carousel of constant sadness, aka mental illness, i.e. famously called DEPRESSION! We try our best to be ourselves and we read articles on wikihow about “How to forget someone”, we take buzzfeed quizzes about “Am I depressed?” but even if we try our best to get out of that enclosed bubble of his/her fake stance with us, we cannot come out. We are still under his/her influence, we still want him/her and we cannot control our thoughts of there is nobody for me and nobody cares about me. This is the stage where most of the people take their own lives and I won’t say it is cruel cause some people just can’t help it. They want to get rid of these voices inside their heads and I dont want people who are alive to judge people who have taken their own lives as suicidal thoughts are insane and as those people didn’t try to fix him/her when s/he was alive, thus they have no rights at all to criticize about their deaths.
“Can’t you see that you’re smothering me, Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control?”
We feel suffocated, we feel isolated, we feel like everyone is happy without us. We try to show what pain we’ve been inflicting at the moment and what we’ve been going through to that same person expecting remorse and forgiveness for no mistakes of ours whatsoever. We break down, we cry, we hurt ourselves to prove him/her that we weren’t faking it. But s/he wouldn’t care, nope not at all. Like seriously, how can people be this cruel and how can they break hearts so easily?
“'Cause everything that you thought I would be Has fallen apart right in front of you.”
Even though there are no mistakes of ours, or maybe we made mistakes and even though we don’t realize our mistakes, we just don’t blame him/her for leaving us in that situation. We still blame ourselves like “I couldn’t be what you had always wanted me to be. What should I do to be yours? I know I’ve disappointed you (Even if we’ve no idea how). Please, I want to be yours, I don’t want to lose you, it’s not that I don’t want to lose you, I CANNOT LOSE YOU. (sad emoji) (cry emoji)”. S/he would give “seen” or text “K” and go.
“(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow) And every second I waste is more than I can take.”
Now as we were expecting that person to be back in our lives because we just tried to manipulate him/her emotionally so selflessly to own him/her and to fill the hole created by his/her fake friendly stance, we still get ignored. Now at this moment we feel angry, we feel like we aren’t his/her toys to get played whenever they wanted to play with us. We feel like s/he must apologize to us and we feel like, “I can’t stand this anymore. I deserve respect and I deserve love and oh yeah, I’m worth getting respect and love honey.”
“And I know I may end up failing too. But I know You were just like me with someone disappointed in you.”
Now we start overthinking. While we’re overthinking, we still blame ourselves even though we’ve just said “I can’t take it anymore.” We still try to be nice to him/her. We still tell him/her “I know what you must have been feeling. I know our differences but I know you feel for someone. You are just sad and disappointed like I’m on you for someone else and I totally get that. I’m sorry for forcing you to be with me and I’m so sorry that I said I cant stand you the day before.” and s/he says “I don’t feel, okay? I don’t feel anything, I don’t have anyone in my pockets and I don’t want anyone.”and then you start crying because you’ve been trying to be in his/her pockets and s/he says s/he has nobody for him/her and s/he doesnt want anyone. Then we break down, we explode, we feel dead, we feel like dying, we feel like getting cremated alive and it’s not okay at all.
Thank you for reading. Follow me to read many blogs like these! <3
Note: The texts I used inside quotations are fictional and completely made up for relevancy. :(
And everyone accused delirious for killing “the host” (chose whoever) but at the end after Tyler gets killed, we discovered that it’s not delirious but it’s was Vanoss who killed the host ….. And actually delirious is the colonel in this who goes insane after Tyler, the mayor and Evan, who metaphorically died but who is trapped in his own body while this (like dark) posses him. We go with delirious and do a ritual and are sent into Tyler who is accompanied by the real Evan. We pull Tyler out but we die in our own body in the real world. We try to push Evan back into himself to overwhelm the thing but he grab us by the wrist and pushes us and says, “take care of them and get as far away from here as you can…. because I’m coming for you…” and then we get back and see that delirious and Tyler are hovering over us and stressing that we are dead. But are relived that we survived. Delirious asks where Evan is, we lower our head and “explain” what happened. They go quiet. Ohm, the butler, comes to all of us and says we need to leave. So we go to the door. Delirious and ohm leave but when Tyler and us go to leave it’s like a bubble prevent us from doing so. Then we realize that it’s because when we inside Evan and Tyler. The thing in Evan put something on us that makes us be stuck there. Delirious snaps and shoots ohm and starts to laugh while crying and repeatedly says, “It’s just a joke, it’s all just a joke” he falls to the ground on his knees and screams “I DIDN’T MEAN TO KILL THEM IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, *laughs* ITS A JOKE ALL OF IT” Tyler and us scream and yell to stop him for doing something hasty. Delirious looks at ohm and still laughing, “Get up ohm, it’s over, the jokes over” we look at Tyler, who is shaking lightly and tearing up and still trying to convince delirious to do something. Delirious looks up at the sky which it thunders and rains hard, he gets drenched, he starts to cry, “Come on Evan, Luke, stop hiding, the jokes over, it’s not funny anymore…” He then grabs his gun and puts his against his head and screams and laughs, crying. Then it all stops and everything seems like time stop and delirious looks at us. “It’s just a joke…” he whispers and pulls the trigger. As we hear the gun sound everything slowly goes back to normal and we hear Tyler and us scream. Tyler falls the floor sobbing and we hover over him. Then the “camera” goes inside the house, it looks like we are walking until the gun shoots are heard. They sound louder than normal. We stop and the camera lens break a little. Then it turns to a mirror and we see we have been in Evan’s point of view. Evan looks at the mirror. He breaks it with his fist, he looks up and stares at the mirror but it looks like its at us. Then glaces at his bloodied fist, we hear bones cracking and he fixed it and looked like nothing happened. He sits up and straightens his back and walks away while singing but as he passes we see the real Evan trapped in the mirror, eyes widen, skin bloodied up with cuts and bruises and he banging on the mirror. He screams, the screen goes black and all we hear is the real Evan’s scream echoing then we hear Dark Evan’s sinister chuckle.
Annabelle Hawke would never have guessed that one of her best friends would be the wife of a Templar. Then again, she never would have guessed that she would be run out of her home by a Blight or that she would ever set foot in Kirkwall. But that was all years ago now.
The clash of steel rang loud in her ears as she parried a blow aside, lifting the shield instinctively to cover her center as she withdrew from her attacker. The one-woman avalanche kept after her, pushing her harder, three heavy blows falling on the shield as Hawke stood her ground, teeth bared in a determined grimace. As the ginger-haired woman pulled back for another vicious slash at her shield arm, Annabelle seized the opening and drove her blade forward to stab her opponent, flinging her shield arm outward to add to her momentum. The other woman twisted in a reflexive reaction, Hawke’s blade sailing harmlessly past her, and suddenly the blade that had been well to her left a moment ago was pressed against her ribs. “Dead,” said her opponent with a tone of firm finality. Anna growled and lowered her weapon, the sword still overly heavy and unfamiliar in her hand. The shield dragged at her arm.
im curious about what matsuno brothers said/react when they realized that their painful bro and reader-chan went away together and when they found about Kara's new ability to speak f l u e n t english. Care to tell, please?
I’m gonna write this as a mini fic bc I’m trash for my own fic, here’s for the sick part, i’ll answer the trip part in the tags ~Mod Mattie
oh no, i had to think about something just as worse. what if shizuo hurt his s/o? it's possible that i've seen you write this already or that i saw a similar request elsewhere, but either way, i'm completely DEVASTATED
Even though you saw how annoyed Shizuo was you were still as cheery as usual, chatting with him and hugging him. But the blond was far more annoyed than usual, and his annoyance soon turned to anger. He pushed you away, but since he used far more force than he wanted to he ended up with throwing you through the table.
When he realized what he had done his eyes widened, Shizuo at once rushing to your side and letting out a small sob. He picked you up and carried you to Shinra to treat the injuries you had, crying the entire time. You ended up with a few broken bones and bruises, Shizuo constantly buying you presents and other things to make up for harming you.
Even after you several times told him you forgave him he kept feeling guilty, knowing that this wouldn’t have happened if he wasn’t such a monster.
37 and 48 (if that one isn't cliche idk what is) also 1 isn't au :) wincest ofc
Wincest + Prison AU. I went total Prison Break with this.
“I’m not going to let this happen.”
The statement only earned laughter from the inmate behind the glass.
“It’s already happening. Sammy, you’ve tried for over a year now to get me out. You’re the best lawyer in California, but it doesn’t matter how determined you are. This set up is just too good, and the execution sentence was already passed.”
Dean was smiling, but the reassurance didn’t reach his eyes. He placed his hand against the glass, mouthing ‘I’ll miss you’, before standing.
“Dean! Dean, wait! There are still things we can try, okay?” Sam shouted. “Dean!”
So again the video isn’t fitting the screen all the way and crapy is terrible but that’s not the point.
I made this video to bring like to the fact that poc,male & trans/non-binary fans are not represented in the fam and im really tired of being erased from the fam and so here the video
Males in my eyes are the biggest part of this fandom being erased do to the fact when you typically think of a “boy” band most people think of it having a female fan base but that not the case. This is not the case in this situation. There are a lot of male fans that i know and they feel like they aren’t really part of the fam which is really shitty cause i would hate to not be included in something i love so yeah. Anothet thing mentioned in this video is the lack of males in fanfics. I see fanfics as a why to connect to the boys in a fictional setting and it hard to connect when the character in the settings is female. To be fair to both male and female fans would just copy the fan fic and change the pronouns to he/him so they can also feel included. And if you really wanna try to pull that “ that would be pushing homosexuality on them” or “that makes me uncomfortable ” im going to come for you cause that is so homophobic AND how is it okay to assume that they heterosexual ? Anyway make it fair for everyone if you want to go back to the 2013 fam .okay?
Next i talk about poc and most people like claim that there isn’t that much lack of representation but the thing is There is a HUGE LACK. Again back to what i said perviously most people tend to think “ boy ” bands have female fans but another misconception is that the fans are also white. So that being said you can see where we get removed from the fam. We also get removed in alot of other thingstoo like moodboards , fanfic, visual imagines and ect. Most fics are base of white character(s) getting with on of the boys. The little things the characters do and the way they’re described pushes the poc readers to stop reading ( not always) and some people looking for a fic that they could relate to give up hope and stop reading fics cause its very hard to find fics that relate. Little simple things like burbs and stuff like that you dont really have to go in detail like that. Keep it vague so everyone can relate.
Trans and non-binary fam have completely to know representation in this fandom we as a whole are barley recognized and a fairly large portion of the fam is transphobic. Like i have a friend that gets hate for loving there fave just because he’s trans like what the fuck. So many trans and non-binary people get hate and what makes is that they get even more hate in this fandom cause we all kinda stick together. Like i can find a group of us really easily because we have been pushed so far away from the rest of the fam that just finding one fan who is trans will lead you to other fans that are trans because we started to stick together and follow each other so we have support ( idk if that makes sense to y'all).But anyway in fics, moodboards, ect we are completely erased i have found maybe 2 fics with a nonbinary person as the lead ( i guess) and other than that all you can find if you look up non-binary & poc of wattpad or on here you get very little or you get 5sos being non-binary which is fine but most looking in thoes tags are looking a story that relates to them. Most people are shocked when i say i have friends who are trans / non-binary and they also like 5sos its always that one question of “ are there a lot of you guys” and the answer is fuck yes there is a lot of us and we have stayed quiet in fear that we would be harassed but the time is now is 2016 and we are tired of this, of not be Represented in out own fam and not being included in things and have to seek to low fucking levels of using the wrong pronouns while reading a fic so we could finally feel like we are included i something.
The way to fix fics and stuff would be just to leave it vague have gender neutral pet names and stuff it helsp everyone feel included and it helps eveyone who isn’t represented fill like they are and now we can go back to 2013 fam most people want
Anyway thanks for taking the time to read this please reblog it means alot
A/n: Hello all you lovely people! Well here is part 6 of muted! I posted chapter 5 yesterday (If you’d like to read it you can do so here) As always thank you to everyone who has been reading/liking/commenting it really means so much!
Summary: Dan reflects on his relationship with Phil.
Word Count: 1,114 (whoop whoop)
Type: Angst, Fluff (kinda not really any fluff)
Warnings: Sad feelings, Post Breakup
POV: 1st person, Dan
A/N: If you want a sequel that be okay! Also feedback is
nice. Also this might suck and have some errors, don’t hate me, I’m human!
You know, sometimes it doesn’t work
out. Sometimes things fall apart, but I guess, I guess I was hoping that we
wouldn’t fall apart. I was wrong. We fell apart. You moved on, you probably
found someone else, someone who smiles more, doesn’t have insecurities as big
as I do. We always said we would hold
on. We said we would be okay, because we made it through six, almost seven
years, before we broke. I should have known that our story was no different.
We could barely keep our eyes open
enough to do our jobs, never mind time for one another. Sure, sometimes we
would be on Cloud Nine, but other times it was hell on earth, and those are
when I would pray to anyone who would listen, that as long as you were happy I would
be. I’d go into our room, and crawl next to you, telling you I was in the wrong
and just tired and promising that we were fine, unbreakable. We had our good days, just like everyone. Days where
we had to cut out large portions of videos. We would wake up and smile because
the world was bearable if we woke up next to one another. You would give me
little kisses on the nose, with your morning breathe and all, and I’d still
smile. We were in love.