push the line

“You can’t be funny without being offensive!”

Um

“Functional, healthy family relationships can’t be funny! Only dysfunctional relationships where the family members despise each other can be hilarious!” 

UM

“Everything has to be edgy and dark and violent and push the line to be good!” 

If you genuinely believe that, then you’re not trying hard enough. 

okay but zendaya, lupita, and rihanna ALWAYS put in legit effort to match the theme at every met gala they attend and their looks are always innovative and different.. like last year rihanna’s dress was like 50 feet long and lupita’s hair was really one of a kind and it was inspired by an infamous black icon.. all the girls pull so many one-of-a-kind looks, really pushing the line between art and fashion. AND YET every fucking magazine or news article or youtube celeb news shitshow can seem to only talk about what the kardashians are wearing?? despite the fact that literally every year they wear some glittery, sheer and tight fitting dress LITERALLY ! EVERY ! YEAR ! ITS NOTHING DIFFERENT AND IT NEVER FITS THE THEME BITCH IM T I R E D

Lazy

Summary: Pure porn without plot. You wake up and spend a morning with Sam and Dean.

Warnings: Smut, threesome (no Wincest), anal sex

Word Count: 2650ish

A/N: Hope y’all enjoy! XOXO

Too hot. Too bright. Everything feels heavy and suffocating, like you’re trapped or tied down. Leg muscles twitch, but you can’t move them as you force your brain to swim toward the surface, try to break your mind out of its haze.

And then you wake up.

For just a moment, you focus only on your breath. You wake up like this two or three times a week, have ever since you started hunting, and it will only take your body a few seconds to calm down.

Keep reading

I had CA: TWS playing in the background at work today, and something caught my attention that I have idly wondered about before, but this time, it was like a great big flashing sign. So much so that I had to go back and replay the scene.

Pierce: The timetable has moved. Our window is limited. Two targets, level six. He already cost me Zola. I want confirmed death in ten hours.

I saw that then I watched the scene on the bridge. Watch the Winter Soldier. He comes in for the attack, and the first person he takes out of the equation is Jasper Sitwell. AKA the man who let the Lumerian Star get captured by pirates. AKA the reason Fury got the intel and had his suspicions raised. AKA the reason that the timetable was moved. AKA the reason they lost Zola.

I always assumed it was Steve and Natasha he was coming after, but no. Steve is Level 8.

Just watch the way TWS attacks. He doesn’t go for Steve or Sam directly. He takes out Sitwell, the easy target, first then aims through the roof of the car at Natasha first. And when the car crashes, he doesn’t go after Steve.

Instead, he fires towards Natasha, and only misses because Steve pushes her out of the line of fire. The blast sends Steve hurtling over the ledge. You would think he would be a priority target after that, but TWS ignores him. Instead, he calmly stalks after Natasha like a predator.

The other HYDRA operatives are firing like mad, shooting at everything, but he just watches for Natasha. He doesn’t fire until he has her in his sites. He only fires three times when she’s still on the bridge, and each shot only just misses her. (Speaking of, I love that the only thing that makes him lose his cool and fire as wildly as the other HYDRA agents, is when she manages to land a hit on him. That’s the one time he doesn’t aim)

When he gets given the machinegun, he also doesn’t waste his ammunition once she’s out of range. He hops over the edge of the bridge and goes after her on foot. The only time he actually bothers himself with fighting Steve is when Steve attacks him.

Also, I think this whole scene really demonstrates the difference between the design of the Winter Soldier as a weapon and the way HYDRA have used him. HYDRA tends to be very much smash in and “KILL THEM ALL WITH FIRE!” style, whereas the Winter Soldier is very much carefully aimed and positioned. Just watch the way he moves when he’s hunting. Or even when he’s firing. He is absolute stillness and quiet, compared to the chaos and destruction of the HYDRA boys. He just walks into a scene, lifts his gun, fires, and just like that, is gone.

best scene in King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017) dir. Guy Ritchie: prep school bitch arthur pendragon on the boat with a whole lot of unwashed peasants, wearing a pristine white hollister cashmere shawl, pushing through the line of people who had been standing there since fucking 4am only to find out he’s the true king of england. Mood.

bzfd.it
The Downfall Of YouTube’s Biggest Star Is A Symptom Of A Bigger Illness
The schadenfreude over YouTube star Felix Kjellberg’s sudden fall from grace overlooks a much bigger, more insidious pattern of young men testing boundaries in the angriest corners of the internet.
By Jacob Clifton

“The online alt-right is built on lulz, and on an insulated privilege enjoyed by people without any personal context for or historical understanding of the things their privilege lets them say. Rewriting Felix Kjellberg’s history to make him a monster — pulled along by the gravity of recent high-impact cautionary tales like those of Milo Yiannopolous and Richard Spencer — is investigative laziness that obscures a much more important fact: that “edgelords,” the boys and men who group together online for the explicit proliferation of hate speech and misogyny, will almost inevitably keep pushing the line until they end up in a truly dark place.

Because PewDiePie’s relationship to his following, like that of Milo to his own fans, is both a reciprocal system of validation and a male personality cult, we don’t diagnose it as anything out of the ordinary: We take it at face value, because “men are men.” We can demonize “them” (the ones who go too far) as an idea, continue to ignore them in reality, and then act shocked when their need for attention finally intersects with their ability to make themselves heard.

This isn’t about being right. Of course joke-racists, trolls, and budding fascists are wrong; of course they’re out of control, abetted by corporations who provide them with platforms to organize and speak. This is about understanding what lies beneath this dark side of the internet, and how to stop it.”

In One Piece: part two

He took her chin between his fingers and and leaned down to place his lips on hers. Her eyes widened in shock before pulling back, shrieking “What do you think you’re doin’?!”

“Kissin’ yeh.” He smirked.

“Sorry, bu’ I don’ feel like kissin’ yeh right now,” she frowned.

“Le’ me make it up to yeh, please.” He rested his forehead against hers, “Please, sweetheart.”

or

Alex upsets his girl and tries to make it up to her.

WARNING: SMUT

“Don’ know wha’ Y/N was thinkin’ when she agreed to marry yeh, silly girl tha’ one. Silly as can be. But a cunt?” Alex growled, veins protruding all over as his grip tightened on the squirming prick he had pinned to the wall. “She’s jus’ no such thing, mate,” he pulled Thomas’ body forward before slamming it into the ivy covered brick again, evoking a low groan from him.

Y/N sat fidgeting in her seat across from him. She didn’t really know what to say, or how to say it. She just knew it needed to be said. “What’s this about?” Thomas asked. He was smiling, she could hear it in his voice, but she looked any and everywhere but his eyes. “Y/N?” He asked once more, the smile dissipating from his voice.

She toyed with ring upon her left fourth finger, twisting it back and forth and so before finally slipping it off. She placed it gently on the table between them before saying, “I can’ marry you.”

His head straightened up tall and floored by her statement. “‘Scuse me?”

“I can’ marry you, Thomas. My heart isn’ in it,” she answered.

“So where is your heart, then?” He asked, though he already knew the answer. “Funny yeh say this considerin’ I know yeh saw Alex yesterday.” He bit his bottom lip, teasing his tongue with the taste of blood.

“‘M truly sorry, I am. It’s jus’ not fair to do this to ourselves.” She reasoned.

He sat there for a few moments, trying to soak up her words, syllable by syllable. “Why’d yeh even say yes?” He laughed, but there was an unsettling look in his eye.

“I couldn’t bring myself to tell you no-,” she said, but was interrupted by the fierce rise in his voice.

“Bullshit!” He cracked. “Don’ put this on me! Yeh made me believe yeh wanted this, made me believe yeh wanted me!  Lead me by a bloody leash, you did!” His chest palpated dangerously fast, anger fueling his every action.  “You’re a right cunt fo’ tha’!” He picked up his water glass, slamming it against her dining wall and watching it shatter to pieces. She flinched at the ear-splitting sound, hands subconsciously flying up to hold her head.

She was on fire, burning with rage and fear. “We wen’ out together on dates! Never up until that point had I professed some deep and undyin’ love for yeh that would’ve made you go and propose! Tha’ was on you!” She spat. “I enjoyed your company, bu’ yeh had to rush it!” Y/N hadn’t ever been so hostile in her life. She’d like to think of herself as a generally calm and collected person. But this? This pushed her over the line. Who did he think he was?

Thomas’ back was to her as he rocked himself back and forth on the counter. He was taut with fury, practically steaming at the ears. “This isn’ about how I rushed it, Y/N! It has nothin’ to do with tha’ and everythin’ to do with Alex, I’m no’ stupid!” He slammed his fists onto the counter.

“Yeh know wha’? You’re right. I love Alex. I loved him before you, durin’ you, and now, an’ I’m sorry fo’ hurtin’ you, but I can’ help who my heart wants!”  Y/N cried.

“So what’d yeh do? Did yeh kiss him? Did yeh shag him? Huh?! Answer me!” He roared, shaking Y/N to the very core. “Be’ yeh did. “

“‘M not really sure what you’re implyin’ but-,”

“I’m sayin’ you’re a whore! A blimey slag!” Thomas growled, finger pointed inches away from her face.

“Ge’ out.” She whispered.

“Oh, wha’? Can’ face wha’ you’ve done-,”

“I said get out! Get ou’ of my house!”  Y/N bellowed. Her whole body was jolting with adrenaline and she feared she might pass out from the unforgiving anger she felt. Thomas shook his head, scoffing out a laugh before kicking the chair out of his way and slamming the door on his way out to prove his point. She felt bad, terrible even, for hurting him, for angering him. Though she couldn’t say she wasn’t a bit relieved, he was quite unnerving when he was bothered and upset. She cradled her head in her hands as she silently shook with cries. Y/N never handled other’s anger well. She hated when people would let their emotions get the better of them, especially when she was the cause.

She sat for a while before sucking it up and wiping her tears and grabbing the bin to clean up the shards of glass. She tried to be very careful, not wanting to cut herself, but that inevitably failed when a knock and open to her front door startled her, causing the glass to cut her hand. “Dammit,” she whimpered.

“Y/N, love,” Alex called, “what’re yeh doin’?”

Alex’s hand was gripping Thomas’ jaw harshly, threatening his skin with finger-shaped bruises as he convulsed infuriatingly so. “And a whore? That was a bi’ of a stretch, too, duffer,” he kneed him in the groin, earning a cry from Thomas. “Ditzy thing sometimes, bu’ she’s a bloody angel!” Alex growled through gritted teeth. With one uppercut to the face, Thomas was on the ground in fetal position. Alex spit in his face and stormed away, stewing and brewing and flailing about.


Alex sat atop of Y/N’s bathroom sink as she cleaned the scrapes and bruises amongst his hand from his prior indiscretion with Thomas. To say Y/N was upset with Alex was an understatement. She’s didn’t really believe in violence, and while her heart swooned at the thought of him defending her, that didn’t mean she wanted him to have a back-alley brawl with her ex-fiancé. Her lips were pressed in a tight line as she bandaged the wound to prevent infection. She wouldn’t even look him in the eye, and it hurt his heart a little. “Sweetheart, please look at me,” he sighed, but she kept her eyes low. “Y/N, c’mon,” he tried again. However, she kept doting around on his knuckles and refusing to give him what he wanted. Finally, he took her face in his hands and forced her to look at him. “I think it’s clean, love, now look a’ me.”

“You’ve really upset me,” she said.

He felt his chest tighten at that. “What ca’ I do?” He pleaded.

“You’ve done enough.” Alex really wanted to fix this. He couldn’t stand the fact that she was upset with him, but she was his girl, and nobody would insult his girl. He was sorry for disappointing her, but not sorry for what he did. Thomas needed to be taught a lesson as far as Alex was concerned. He was wracking his brain trying to figure out ways to get her to forgive him, and then he it dawned on him. He took her chin between his fingers and and leaned down to place his lips on hers. Her eyes widened in shock before pulling back, shrieking “What do you think you’re doin’?!”

“Kissin’ yeh.” He smirked.

“Sorry, bu’ I don’ feel like kissin’ yeh right now,” she frowned.

“Le’ me make it up to yeh, please.” He rested his forehead against hers, “Please, sweetheart.” She bit her lip, toying with the idea in her head before locking eyes with him, signaling him the go-ahead with a subtle nod of the head.

His lips met hers sweetly, taking her breath away. She placed one hand on his chest and wrapped the other around his neck to pull him closer. His hand gripped her waist and held her securely to him. Her lips felt like velvet and he couldn’t get enough of it. Every time she’d pull away, he’d bring her even more close, savoring the sound of her labored breath and the rise and fall of her chest increasing by the second. He finally let her break away to catch her breath, but still held her just as tightly to him. She opened her eyes to find him already itching to look into hers and her cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment, so she looked away. “Hey, quit lookin’ away from me,” Alex demanded. He slid off the bathroom sink and intwined his arms around her back. She strained her neck up to look at him once more and smiled graciously, placing his lips on hers once more.

The kiss was innocent to start with, but the second she threaded her fingers through his hair and tugged in delight, a fire was ignited in him. He spun her around, gently slamming her hips into the counter, eliciting a soft, squeak-like sound from her which raised every hair on the back of his neck and tickled his skin with goosebumps. He lifted her up and placed her on the counter and moved to wrap her legs around his hips. She trailed her hands down to his chest, nails lightly scratching along the way, before he jerked her hands back up to his hair. “Keep ‘em there, love,” he growled. A coil snapped within her at the sound of his voice so rough and deep that she tugged on his tresses once more just to hear the sound again.


He sunk his teeth into the plushy flesh of her skin, and she jolted from the sensation. Her head sunk deeper into the pillow the closer he approached where she ached for him. He was feeling dizzy, overwhelmed at the situation and reeling in the smell of her in the air. He moaned quietly as his mouth watered just thinking about what he was about to do. His mouth teased the crease of where her thigh met her hip and her breath wavered. He trailed kiss after kiss until his lips touched the damp spot right in the center of her cotton panties. It was then his tongue snuck from between his lips to press against her ever so slightly, and she shied away from the contact, but his hands brought her back down against his tongue. “So sweet already an’ I haven’ even taken these off yet” he groaned. He believed, with full sincerity, that she would be the death of him.

His fingers hooked inside of her knickers and yanked them down her thighs and onto the floor before spreading her legs and nesting a home between them. He spread her open with his fingers before attaching his lips and tongue to her clit, sucking and pulling and doing everything to coax a sound from her. She whimpered, though they sounded more like squeaks, and she’d be dying from embarrassment had it not just felt so good. Her hands instinctively flew to his head and reveled in the warmth of his tongue on her most sensitive spot. Her back arched and shivered and trembled with every nibble and lick, and to make matters almost more unbearable, he curved a finger inside of her. It was foreign, a bit uncomfortable at first until Alex stroked something within her, and it wasn’t anymore.

“A-Alex,” she mewled. He moaned against her, and the vibrations nearly shocked her core. Her heart was working double time to keep her body from caving in to the pleasure completely. Between the vibrations of his mouth and the stroke of his finger inside of her, it became too much to balance. Her vision was white hot as her legs tightened around his neck and shuddered so. His name was breathless on her lips and she swore nothing could compare to the feeling of his face between her thighs, even though she could never say that aloud because it nearly humiliated her with how lewd the reality of it all was.

Alex pressed one final kiss to her mound before trailing his tongue back up her body slowly, taunting her. His lips pressed to her neck causing her to shiver at the sensitivity before pressing a kiss below her eye and asking, “How was tha’?”

“Tha’ was,” she gulped, “somethin’.”

“Had to be more than jus’ somethin’, baby. Practically ripped all my hair out my head,” he giggled.

“Oh, shush,” she covered her face, mortified. Alex pried her hands away and kissed her with fervor, heart swelling with how her lips melted into his just right.

“Stop hidin’ tha’ face away from me,” he grinned.

“Then quit embarrassin’ me!”


“My god,” Alex gasped. He buried his face into her neck, biting and kissing in attempt to silence the sounds erupting from within his chest. Her nails dug into his skin in discomfort as he settled deep within her walls and she cried out. “‘M sorry, love, so so sorry. I’ll stop, I’ll stop,” he stumbled over his words.

“No,” a tear trickled down her cheek, “don’ stop, please.” He ignored her and moved to untangle her legs from around his wait, but she gripped his shoulders frantically. “Please, no! I wan’ to feel you,” she hummed.

He sunk back into her and she gripped his right hand, interlocking their fingers and squeezing it harshly. “I don’ want to hurt you,” he mumbled.

“I’m okay, promise.” It didn’t necessarily hurt her at this point, it was just uncomfortable.

“I love you, love yeh so much, petal,” he kissed her cheek. “I’ve never felt so whole in my life. Look a’ tha’,” he gently brought her head forward to look at where they joined as one, “connected, you and me.” He laid her head back down. His hips faltered to the right a little, causing her chest to press against his and she swore. His ears perked at the sound, quickly trying to repeat the movement he just made.

“Yes,” she hissed, “that’s it!”

Neither of them had ever felt anything quite like this. It wasn’t lust. No, their love overwhelmed the lust by a long shot. It wasn’t the act of getting swept up by desire. It was a commemoration of their feelings for each other. Y/N felt like her heart could burst at any moment at the sound of Alex’s sweet nothings and praises in her ear. “Yeh feel so good, baby. You’re doin’ so well for me,” he urged a hungry kiss on her lips, “such a good girl,” he cooed.

Her body was writhing beneath his and he hoped this was a sight he could remember forever. She looked so beautiful like this. Well, she looked beautiful all the time, but there was something about the way she couldn’t contain herself at this moment that had him gawking at her. Her eyes screwed shut and broken pleas sounding off the walls put him in a near daze. The way she clenched around him and how divine she felt seemed like a luxury he could not afford.

Her lips left breathy, open-mouthed kisses to his neck and he fell against her, driving his hips right into hers, grunting each time. He was in such a state of euphoric bliss that nothing else mattered to him in this moment except for her and proving his love to her. He wanted her to feel what she did to him. How she shot electricity through his veins every time she cried his name. How his whole body quaked with each yank of his hair. How satisfactory it felt to be the only one to make her eyes roll to the very back of head with each push to the right place within her. So that’s what he did. He carried on til the early morning until neither of them could take it anymore and collapsed into each other’s arms and exchanged honey-covered words until they succumbed to the imminent sleep, tangled together, in one piece.  


so this is part two!!! i skimmed through this to half-ass make sure there were no mistakes but i’m sure y’all will find one. also sorry i’m the worst smut writer in the history of this website. i hope you guys like this as much as part one. stay tuned for part three to continue the rest of Alex and Y/N’s story!