I swear sometimes I don’t know what to do with myself. I know what I should be doing but, I don’t want to do that. I really feel like I don’t have a purpose in life. I want to mean something to the world, I want to make a difference in this world but I don’t know how to. I just feel like If I am told what I would be good at and what will let me help people then I would put everything I had into doing just that. I have never been good at figuring things out on my own. So much for wanting to choose my own destiny. And I feel bad to because I know there are millions of kids that would love to trade places with me even though I don’t have the best life. When I think about all the things that I have that those kids don’t, I realize how much I take things for granted. I know I’m not the only one who does but then again I don’t want to be like everybody else. I am 17 now and when I graduate from high school my family expects me to already know what to do with myself. I know I’m not ready for the real world yet. I wish I could have stayed a kid longer. I hate that I was forced to grow up way to quickly.

#Selfie because today the person I saw was filled with hope, passion and purpose. I wouldn’t change myself for the world. Not because I’m perfect, but because my imperfections contribute to the my wild firecracker that I am ☺️.
#not being who you expect me to be but who Je made me to be. Some days it’s easier than others - but everyday I try and so should you ☺️!
#LovingMeTotally #AsIAmIAmGreat ##LoveYourself #EssexFireCracker #WildFlower #peculiar #purspose #HopeAgain #passion #darkAndLovely #hat #mdmflow #


Awesome song, awesome message, awesome artist! AWESOME GOD!


My existence is the riddle of riddles to me. What am I meant for? Who, am I meant for? Why does any of this even matter? Ah, and there it is, my three W’s of life. It must be nice to be happy. To have a purpose that transcends your past. My past haunts my future in the present. So much so, in fact, that I’m rarely even present in the present! Oblivion erodes what little humanity is left in this decrepit soul of mine. It scares me. No, I scare me. Well, depending on who you ask, it was meant to be. But either way, that’s me.

What We Really Want.

What it all comes down to is.. we all just want to feel some sort of importance in someone else’s life. We all want to know that someone holds us higher than everybody else in their life. And we don’t think that our parents’ love is enough, or anybody in our family, because we feel like their obligated to put us first. What we look for is someone else who is not related to us, (friend/lover) because they have no obligation to care about us that much, or love us that much… but we need this, because it makes us feel like we’re worth something to someone. That’s what we want.. to feel worth something. 

Conversations I have with on of my best friends. We really get down to figure out life.


The Purpose Of The Son Of God