purposeless

Life is purposeless. Don’t be shocked. The whole idea of purpose is wrong – it comes out of greed. Life is a sheer joy, a playfulness, a fun, a laughter, for no purpose at all. Life is its own end, it has no other end. The moment you understand it, you have understood what meditation is all about. It is living your life joyously, playfully, totally, and with no purpose at the end, with no purpose in view, no purpose there at all. Just like small children playing on the sea beach, collecting seashells and coloured stones – for what purpose? There is no purpose at all.
—  Osho

SEE THE THING IS, he said, BIG GIRLS LEAVE MORE SPACE FOR ME TO GRAB AHOLD OF
but
i’m not your handlebars

SEE THE THING IS, she said, BIG GIRLS ARE BETTER THAN SKINNY ONES BECAUSE MEN DON’T LIKE BONES
but
other girls are not graveyards

SEE THE THING IS
a baby girl isn’t beautiful because somebody is gonna hold her
i mean we all wanna be loved but i want her to
love herself
first

a baby girl isn’t beautiful because a man’s fingertips can dig
bruises into her hips, she’s beautiful because
she just is

in nature we don’t say a flower is beautiful
when somebody wants to pick it

in fact we say that nature’s beauty is at the height of purity
when it would destroy you to even touch it

SEE THE THING IS
i would rather be an ocean of danger and deep black and
thick mermaid thighs rather than
a body you want to cruise across
i would rather be the night sky and crush ribs with a suffocating sense that we are all small and purposeless
rather than a landscape of freckles someone happens to think
are akin to constellations
i would rather be storms and lightning and a bright sun rising, i
would rather make you quake in your boots than get your heart
pounding,

i would rather be beautiful like a cold spring stream:
not beautiful because you said so
but beautiful because
i am me.

—  Don’t really wanna be your girl? Just wanna belong to me? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ /// r.i.d
I ruined myself for you,
picked myself to pieces just to humour you
and now you’re gone and I’m nothing,
nothing, nothing, nothing,
but an out-hollowed soul;
empty, reflection-less
trying to fill the vacant space
with the burning taste of alcohol,
benzodiazepine, warm wet kisses on sweaty skin,
the hands of strangers beneath my skirt
as if in those fragile moments I either
consume an identity or
destroy it completely.
— 

“I am All or Nothing”

(my writings, please don’t delete any of this)

You see I didn’t realise I was ill.  So I can only write about how I got to this moment reflexively.  And only nearly three years on from my total breakdown and later diagnosis of severe clinical depression and generalised anxiety disorder.  On the 9th May 2013 I left work and never returned.  I do not know how I got home that day and my memory of the following six months is vague.  But there are certain things I do remember.  I could not speak.  Or at least when I tried to speak nothing coherent left my mouth.  I could not wear clothes.   I felt like I could not breathe wearing anything.  So I was naked for most of the time.  I could not bear people to be me near me.  I didn’t want anyone to see me and I didn’t want to see them.  My mind just wouldn’t shut up.  no peace, no sleep just constant noise.  It felt like I was trapped in myself.  I felt like my head was going to explode.  This was a physical pain.  It was like being tortured.  I wanted to explain to my partner what was happening but when I heard the words I was uttering It was just gobbledegook.  The frustration deepened my inner turmoil.  I was an articulate person before.    I could hear myself screaming ‘help me’  and then screaming back ‘weak pathetic useless piece of shit’.

So a big jump to the present as I can’t really write at the moment anymore about that time.  So here I am. Just me.  Nothing to define me except me.  And that’s frightening.  My mental health has fucked up my sense of self.  My identity, or what I thought I was has gone.  I find it difficult to identify with anyone or anything.  I feel purposeless.  But I think I choose that.  Purpose could lead me back to that place.  Interest in anything could draw me in and before I realise I’ll be back there again.  Its like the soft lull of waves breaking on the shore.  It sounds and looks comforting but underneath the current is strong, it wants to pull me in, drag me under.  So I keep myself isolated.  And yet I am so lonely.  I feign my disinterest so convincingly but I am paralysed.  I want to find comfort in just being me but I don’t know who I am.

— 

anonymous writer

tobementallyill.com

This fear has been under my skin since the day I started school;
“Make plans”,
“Straight lines”,
“Straight A’s”,
“You’re not doing good enough”,
“The numbers and letters tell you your worth"…

We’re taught to plan out our lives
But life is inevitably unpredictable, laden with uncertainty
And they never taught us how to go with the flow;
They never taught us to deal with the punches life throws at us
They never taught us that some of us will not know what to do in some situations
And that is OKAY
And that it is not the end of the world

You may not know your future like some of your peers claim to
And that is okay
You don’t have to know, step by step what your life will look like
Plans are just guidelines
With their only purpose as to keep your vision in focus

They wont teach you that some of you may not know your purpose
Because there isn’t a word for it yet
That your purpose is so revolutionary and so abstract
That language has yet to give you the words to express your importance
Because you are important!!!
So very important.

Don’t let their linear minds shove you into the boxes they’ve created for you
Because you can’t fit into one
You were never meant to fit into one

Your life will be a type of art no one has ever seen yet!
Your life is the dream of so many that don’t even know it yet!
How exciting is that?!

So quit trying to force yourself into a box like they’ve taught you to
And start trying to built a whole new case with crazy edges and infinite curves  
For you are made of star dust
So don’t forget your purpose is cosmic.

—  Purposeless | Kassandra Dea 
youtube

Osho
Life has no purpose

Paradoxical as it may seem, the purposeful life has no content, no point. It hurries on and on, and misses everything. Not hurrying, the purposeless life misses nothing, for it is only when there is no goal and no rush that the human senses are fully open to receive the world.
—   Alan W. Watts
10

Popsicles Photographic Series by PUTPUT

“Referencing a classic product pack shot the Popsicles series creates an imitation of a common object through a purposeless addition. Both products represent different aspects of everyday life and are recognizable in their own right. They are morphed into a fictional replica creating a visual double take and a dysfunctional bi product. Basically it’s sponges with sticks in them.”

Established in 2011 by Stephan Friedli (CH) and Ulrik Martin Larsen (DK) and currently based in Copenhagen, PUTPUT is the visual and conceptual meeting of two minds, a collaboration in thought and practice. Neatly placed between input and output we navigate the increasingly busy intersection where photography, sculpture and design meet.