no matter what I
am always disappointed
and it scares me that

I have lived for so
long and I have not yet found
what makes me happy.

—  by shelby leigh
The Philippian Substance

My grandma rested on the plot of grass
In front of that smooth black granite,
A bouquet of white yarrow in her hand,
In all directions: corn,
Raspberries on the tree line,
And those white flowers in the ditches
On the side of the road.

A road where black goop filled the cracks
As though it could glue scars together
With its stick.
The heat of the summer
Would enrage the goop into little bubbles,
And the bubbles would burst and stick to everything.
Somehow, it even clung to the yarrow petals
Speckling my grandma’s stomach.

She was trying to teach me something,
And, like the black goop,
I don’t know what it was,
But it stuck to my hands, my feet, 
Left its residue for hours,
And clung to everything I touched.

She was trying to teach me something,
And maybe it never left 
- this black film
Sticky on my hands -
It’s still there,
Touching everything I touch.
I’ve just gotten used to it.

How to Live a Meaningful Life

1. Have a sense a purpose – That is, something which gives you a reason to get out bed, and meet each day with expectancy.

2. Prioritise meaningful relationships – These are relationships with people you enjoy, who accept you as you are, and who make life feel worthwhile.

3. Build into the lives of other people – Through being helpful, warm and interested in others, and their needs.

4. Be authentic, genuine and express yourself – We need to have the freedom to be who we really are, and to enjoy being natural, and to discover our true self.

5. Be adaptable and changeable – For nothing stays the same. That’s part of the adventure, and it helps us stretch and grow.

6. Accept that life’s a journey, and we need to be courageous, to be patient, open, hopeful and resilient.

I often think that I’m not where I want to be at this age, but I need to remember that where I am is exactly where I need to be at this point in my life. If I focus harder on my passion for helping people, my path will continue to lead to where I am meant to be…

Sometimes God works behind the scenes… sometimes His work is center stage and the star of the show. Regardless of whether you can see Him working in your life or not, He truly is. You are not unnoticed by Jesus. Your prayers do not go unheard. He sees you. He is piecing the puzzle of your life together and the comforting thing about it all, is that He already knows what the whole picture looks like. We can trust Him. :)