purple sweatpants

In Another Life - Secrets


summary: a chaptered fic made up of a series of smutty oneshots taking place in the pastel!dan and punk!phil alternate universe

genre: smut

warnings: in this particular oneshot - masturbation, toys, size!kink, dirty talk, spanking, slight praise!kink, double penetration

word count: 3490 ((ky is back ayOOOOOOOOO))

a/n: this was beta’ed by the lovely holly and i hope you all enjoy this! it was really fun writing this and i just hope you all like it because so much effort was put into this you have no idea. like literal research on aftercare because it’s important. okay yes i’m gonna go before this gets too long, but here here another continuation of my pastel/punk series! <3

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Purely Science

Concept: Logan want to know want the limits of manifestation in the mindspace is

Pairing: Analogical (You can fight me!)

Logan was trying to figure out what the limitations for manifestation in the mindspace were. He knew he could summon food and objects but what else. Logan thought for a minute, “Can I summon another person?” He looked at the clock it was near 2 a.m. he figured Virgil would probably still be awake. Logan thought really hard about the anxious side. He figured it probably wouldn’t work, that another person was too complicated to manifest. He had to imagine every detail of Virgil, the way his bangs fall in front of his face, the way he pulls his hoodie over his hands, the way he rubbed his neck when he was uncomfortable. All the cute little nervous ticks that Logan had told Virgil to stop, the picking of the fingernails, the tapping of his fingers, the leg bouncing, and the way he used his bangs to hide his face when he blushed or was nervous.

Logan had a fond memory of sitting next to Virgil, watching a movie in the commons, Virgil was fidgeting, it wasn’t that Virgil was uncomfortable per say but sitting for extended periods of time to help ease his anxiety he started bouncing his leg subconsciously, Logan was trying to pay attention to the movie but the anxious sides’ incessant need to bounce his leg was getting on his nerves.  Finally, Logan reached over to and put his hand on Virgil’s bouncing leg, “I would appreciate if you would cease this illogical tick.” Virgil looked at Logan daring him to do something, “Make me, teach!” Logan moved from his seat and sat on Virgil’s lap, “Will this suffice,” he chuckled. Virgil smirked and pushed the logical trait to the floor but was pulled down on top of him, in his shock he squealed, which only caused Logan to laugh. There they laid, neither wanting to be the first to break contact.

Now he was focused on the task at hand with this glorious memory in mind, he focused on the memory and the spot in front of him and closed his eyes, not wanting to be disappointed he refused to open his eyes until he heard, “Logan what the fuck! If you wanted to see me you should’ve just come and got me! This is not fair or polite!” Logan opened his eyes and blushed realizing he had caught the anxious side at a bad time, “My apologies I didn’t realize it would work. It was purely for scientific research,” he smirked proud that it had worked. He finally took in the sight in front of him Virgil didn’t have a shirt on, only had eyeshadow under one eye, and he had on purple sweatpants. Virgil was obviously slightly annoyed by being summoned out of his room while he was attempting to get ready for bed, but then matched his significant others’ smirk, “Are you enjoying the view?” Logan blushed unaware he was staring, “Sorry Verge, I just wanted to see if it would work.” Virgil approached Logan and put his arms around the others’ waist, “Well now that I’m here would you like me to stay?” Logan nodded, “I wouldn’t mind your company obviously.” From there the two went to bed, fell asleep in one another’s arms, both of them would definitely have to take advantage of being able to manifest the other at will. It would become a game.

Used To Love You (Baron Corbin x Reader)

Context: Baron reminisces through the times of his last relationship and hopes for the future.

**A/N:**  The song I used for this one is “Used To Love You” by Yuna (ft. Jhene Aiko). For this one, I just went with my interpretation of the song.

*Warnings: mentions of a toxic relationship (mainly emotional abuse). Please skip this piece if it is triggering.*

Originally posted by thearchitectwwe

**Tags:** @shadow-of-wonder ; @actualamyautopsy ; @m-a-t-91 ; @the-geekgoddes ; @lifeoutofcontrol ;

“I wonder if you think about me

Now that you’re out there on your own

You made it seem so easy

I wanna be just like you…”

           Baron laid comfortably on the grey sofa once the last box of his boxes had been into the new apartment. He had survived but the memories that he had still haunted him in his mind. Life was changing progressively; it was getting better. 

           Footsteps came from down the hall. I peered out from around the corner as I tied the strings of my purple sweatpants back into place.

           “Baron,” I called looking at him as he drifted off in his own thoughts. “The paint cans are empty. We should go get more before the day is over so we can work on your room…..Hey, are you even liste-…”

           I stopped when I saw him lying on the sofa. He looked deeply at peace, the most at rest I’ve seen him in the last year.

           “You should sit. I never told you about Tiffany. The full story behind our relationship and everything; that night when I called. We can get the paint tomorrow.”

           “Baron, you don’t have to explain anything.”

           “But I want to.”

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this turned out longer than I thought it would (7,690 words), so I cut it in half, but if you guys like it, please let me know and i’ll try to continue it!<3


The club isn’t that bad. Jason likes the songs that they’re playing.


The lights are too bright—and he knows later on, Leo’s gonna make a comment about how he acts like an old man. Jason doesn’t go out much. He’s partial to staying at his apartment in his sweats and reading a good book.


However, Piper asked him to be DD tonight, which is why he was willing to leave his comfy abode at one in the morning.


He rubs the sleep out of his eyes, pockets his keys, and waves at the club bouncer, Mike Kahale. Mike flashes him a small smile and nothing more. He doesn’t ask for Jason’s history—which is good. Jason doesn’t think he has the energy to chat.


Piper isn’t answering her phone, so he goes straight inside and towards the bar.


“Hey!” Percy says—while he makes a dozen drinks at once. He grins at Jason, suddenly ignoring the crowd of people sitting in front of him.

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anonymous asked:

Can you do a blurb where you and Niall are just having a lazy night and it turns into something more??? I want more niall smut pleaseeeee :D

Kind of a surprise in here.  This was fun and the first time I’ve written anything like it.  Hope you enjoy.  

It was one of those rare nights where Niall had come home early.  His studio time had been cut short when the wife of one of the producers he was working with went into labor.  Niall took it as a sign for him to head home and relax with his girl, which was exactly what he did when he walked through the door.

He quickly changed into some sweats and a ratty old t-shirt and parked his ass on the couch with a beer next to him.  His voice was the first thing you heard the moment you walked in the front door,

“Babe!”  He called out.

You were already smiling a mile wide when you’d driven up to see his car parked in the garage, hearing his voice only grew it ten times wider.  You set your bag and coat down on the front table, kicking your shoes off as you ran towards the sound of his voice.  

He smiled the moment you rounded the corner,

“Hello, Love.  Been waitin’ for ya all day it seems like.”

You quickly cuddled into his lap, tucking your head under his chin as you let out a deep sigh,

“I was stuck in the most heinous traffic cuz of the rain.”

Niall stopped sipping his beer mid-sip and looked out the window,

“It’s rainin’?”

You pulled your head up off his chest to look out the same window,

“Started about an hour ago.”

He shrugged,

“Musta missed it.”  He turned back to you, his hand squeezing your ass gently, “Go get some sweats on…got a hankerin’ t’let ya lay on me all night.”

You gasped out playfully, he knew very well that your favorite thing in the world was to lay on him and watch old reruns of shows you loved,


Niall gestured to the TV,

“Reruns of Full House all night.  I ordered a pizza.  Should be here in about five minutes.”  He squeezed your hip, “Go on…go get changed.”

You could barely contain yourself as you ran upstairs.  He was right about the pizza.  By the time you’d changed into your yoga shorts and tank top, washed the makeup off your face and pulled your hair into a messy bun the pizza was already there.  

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stcriescfourlives  asked:

Omg, please tell the Riarkle exposed on Valentine's Day. Please. I need it.

You better like this because I just wasted like an hour of my life typing it out only for it to DELETE ITSELF so now I’m starting over omfggggggg

  • Kay so Riley and Farkle start dating on her Sweet Sixteen but keep it a secret
  • Mostly because they’re just assholes who find the sneaking around thing fun but it’s also Riley being salty about people forgetting her birthday and Farkle worrying Cory will murder him and serve him on a plate with mashed potatoes
  • The ONLY person who knows they’re together is Feeny
  • Because Riley and Feeny are super close like they Skype each other and have tea almost every Saturday it’s very cute
  • So Feeny was well informed on the who Farkle-Drama before they got together, so she told him like immediately after they kissed. He’s super happy for them but he thinks they should tell everyone else they’re dating
  • They don’t listen to Feeny
  • You should always listen to Feeny
  • Okay so anyway it’s Valentine’s Day and everyone’s got plans- Zay’s visiting Vanessa, Auggie’s at Ava’s place, Lucas and Maya are at a bowling alley antagonizing sixth graders, Shawn’s taking Katy ice skating HE’S GONNA PROPOSE SCREAM WITH ME
  • Cory and Topanga have reservations at some fancy place. Morgan showed up in the city out of the blue, so Eric and Josh are taking her to dinner while (jokingly) texting Cory about him being awful for picking his wife over his sister. Cory is so distressed bc he has had the reservations for 3 months omg
  • So anyway Riley’s home alone and Farkle has a plan
  • A good plan
  • An amazing plan
  • But what happens to all of Farkle’s plans? They fail horribly
  • like omg so Riley specifically told Farkle she didn’t want to do anything for the holiday bc she had studying to catch up on and she didn’t want anyone to run into them and figure out they were together
  • And Farkle was like “yeah that’s reasonable”
  • Except he’s trying to be romantic so now he’s trying to fucking break into her apartment
  • Which he normally wouldn’t have a problem with except he wasn’t expecting rain and he sLIPS AND FALLS OFF THE FUCKING FIRE ESCAPE
  • So now Farkle Minkus is just laying on the ground covered in mud and water with ripped flower petals surrounding him and a sad bunny head next to him and he’s just like “this is it. this is how I die”
  • He literally fucking lays there until the rain stops omfg
  • Suddenly he gets a text from Riley asking what he’s up to and he has no words to possibly explain this so he just snaps a selfie and sends it to her with no context
  • Except the dumbass forgot to switch it to selfie mode so actually he just sent her a picture of a decapitated stuffed bunny laying in the mud surrounded by rose petals
  • Poor Riley gets the picture and is like what the fuck is this supposed to mean????
  • So she calls Farkle and he’s trying to sound casual as if he doesn’t have a concussion so he picks up and is like “Do you like surprises? If so, come outside, darling’
  • So Riley’s like ‘what the fuck’
  • So she goes outside and sees him laying there and she’s like FARKLE H O W
  • She helps him up and they stumble up to her apartment and shoves him in the bathroom and tells him to shower while she washes his clothes
  • Which he does but he finishes much faster than the washer so now he asks Riley if he can borrow some clothes and
  • She just hands him a pair of hot pink sweatpants with purple flowers around the ankles
  • And he’s like “this is a weird tactic of trying to see me naked”
  • “Just put them on, if I give you my dad’s clothes he’ll notice. I don’t think any of my shirts will fit you tho”
  • So Farkle just groans and accepts it. However, had he not been concussed, the poor boy would probably have remembered that roughly 87% of his girlfriend’s wardrobe used to belong to him
  • Riley was absolutely just fucking with him and when he wasn’t looking, got plenty of pictures for future black mail
  • Anyway so now Farkle and the ill-fitting sweatpants are sitting on the bench in the kitchen right
  • And Nurse Riley is kneeling on the bench in front of him, her pajamas consisting of basketball shorts and a t-shirt,  checking for injures
  • She notices blood and freaks the fuck out and basically becomes Jacob from Twilight cause she rips her shirt off to put pressure on it (she’s in a sports bra chill)
  • Farkle’s got his arms wrapped around her waist because he feels like he might fall over
  • And then the door opens
  • In walks Cory, Topanga, Eric, Josh and Morgan omg
  • They find these two in an admittedly compromising situation
  • Dead silence for a long moment as everyone stares at each other in shock
  • The silence is finally broken by Eric emitting a high pitched shriek
  • Followed by Josh whispering “OooOOOHHH NOOOOOOO” while covering his eyes in horror
  • Riley opens her mouth to explain but Farkle, in full panic, just screams “I’VE BEEN DATING RILEY FOR TWO MONTHS”
  • The only reaction that gets is Morgan starts applauding like the fucking Opera just ended omg
  • Cory and Topanga look like fish and they just wordlessly leave the room with Topanga gesturing for them to give them a minute
  • Eric is still shrieking and is using the couch to stop himself from collapsing at this point
  • Josh just lays face down on the window seat in the living room and starts to quietly cry to himself
  • Morgan is cracking the fuck up and looks at Riley and deadass says “Atta Girl!”
  • Flash forward like 30 minutes omg no one is talking Stuart and Jen are here now bc they received an angry phone call
  • Riley knows all four parents are about to go OFF because they won’t even let her explain it was a misunderstanding. She texts Maya to come save her
  • Just as the yelling gets underway the door opens to reveal Shawn and Katy!!!
  • Because Katy said yes so Shawn’s immediate reaction was “sWEET I’M ENGAGED I GOTTA GO TELL CORY” but they walk in and immediately figure out the situation
  • Mostly because no one has let Riley and Farkle get dressed yet and Josh is still softly crying in the window
  • Not to mention Eric is on the phone yelling “FEENY MY NICHE WAS VIOLATED BY A ROBOT” omfg
  • Shawn is very torn at this moment because since he’s been more ~involved~ he’s gotten pretty close with Farkle so like half of him is like “Nice, kid!” and the other half is “RILEY MY SWEET SUMMER CHILD NO”
  • So everyone’s getting ready to yell again when Maya and Lucas burst in
  • And boy when Maya figures out the situation she goes off before their parents do omfg
  • Lucas is honestly just confused he has not put it together yet
  • At one point Maya literally yells “You’re not supposed to loose your virginity before me!” and that’s when all the adults in the room remember the yelling is supposed to be their job
  • Everyone starts yelling at once omfg Stuart/Jen go the ‘irresponsible’ route while Corpanga seems more upset this was happening behind their backs while Riley’s yelling in defense of herself while Maya is siding with Corpanga because she didn’t know about this while Katy’s yelling at Maya for apparently having planned when she and Riley would respectively loose their vcards while Shawn goes back and forth between “HOW COULD YOU TWO” and “NICE” and Feeny is yelling on speaker phone trying to get everyone to calm down while Farkle is yelling about the fact no one is getting him medical attention while Eric and Josh just cry
  • Morgan is filming and also defending Riley lmao
  • Everyone eventually calms down enough for Riley to explain it was all a misunderstanding right
  • But then Cory goes “okay but how did Farkle get hurt?’
  • And bless Farkle’s poor concussed little self because he said "I was trying to break into your apartment to surprise Riley and be romantic”
  • Stuart just GROANS
  • Cory just takes a deep breath and says to Farkle, “This is your head start”
  • Farkle gets the message and immediately bolts out the door
  • Still wearing nothing but Riley’s hot pick sweatpants
  • Cory let’s out a war cry and runs after him
  • There’s a moment of silence and Topanga’s like “I’m just gonna follow after them in the car”
  • Eric and Shawn just make eye contact, nod, and start screaming and run after her
  • Riley’s now in her apartment with the Minkus’, Maya, Lucas, Morgan and Josh
  • There is a very awkward tension in the air so Morgan is like “Why don’t we just put on some tv”
  • Top News Story: Billionaire Stuart Minkus’ Half Naked Son Runs Screaming Through the Streets as a Curly Haired Man Chases Him. Car of Laughing Adults Follows Leisurely in Pursuit?“
  • Everyone groans
  • Meanwhile, Eric’s in the car live tweeting the whole event
  • And Eric’s the fucking Senator so he has a fair amount of followers on Twitter. That’s where the news is getting the updates to the story omfg
  • So there’s the basic background info of what started all this (apparently he had been live tweeting the fight too without anyone noticing) but now he’s like ”THEY’VE BEEN RUNNING FOR HALF AN HOUR WITHOUT STOPPING THIS KID IS DEFINITELY A ROBOT”
  • “Okay apparently Shawn Hunter is Mary Poppins because he just pulled a fully loaded water gun out of his coat pocket I don’t see where it could have fit???”
  • So meanwhile in the alley Farkle hit a fucking dead end and Cory’s cracking up and is trying to get him to calm down
  • Like Cory’s a little pissed obviously but not this much he totally just wanted to see how scared of him Farkle actually was omfg
  • So Cory gets him to chill and they have a quick sappy talk about how of course Cory ultimately knows he can trust Farkle with his daughter but also implores them to just take things a little slow
  • And Farkle agrees 1) because duh but 2) it’s not like him and Riley have even done that much in their two months of dating because they are both awkward little ducklings omg
  • They get in the car and thank God Topanga had blankets waiting for Farkle because it’s fucking February and he’s shirtless and barefoot omg
  • They get back to the Matthews apartment and everything is still really awkward
  • Riley heads to her room to get changed and Stuart and Jen are getting ready to take Farkle to the hospital to get him checked out
  • Lucas is still super confused and Zay’s in the group chat trying to get details and he’s like “I don’t know???” Maya just pm’s him to tell him everything omg just let Lucas suffer
  • The two of them leave
  • All the sudden Shawn just fucking groans and looks at Farkle and was like “you couldn’t have held out till June??? Now Eric won the bet!”
  • And everyone starts grumbling while Eric is celebrating until they hear the deathly low angry voice of Riley Erica Matthews
  • “What bet?!”
the signs as different leonardo dicaprio stages
  • aries: Wolf of Wall Street Leo
  • taurus: grocery shopping in uggs and purple velvet sweatpants Leo
  • gemini: coachella dad dancing leo
  • cancer: 90s heartthrob jailbait Leo
  • leo: tanning through the car window leo
  • virgo: top-knot and beard eco-warrior Leo
  • libra: selfies and vape with Tom Hardy Leo
  • scorpio: Academy Award Winner Leonardo DiCaprio
  • sagittarius: Splashes random topless woman in the ocean Leo
  • capricorn: partying with Victoria Secret models on a yacht Leo
  • aquarius: water gun fight leo
  • pisces: sipping tea on a yacht Leo

nathanmillerz  asked:

Imagine this au 'the one where you don'y know your soulmate(s) until you hear them speak, or hear them speak a certain word; your name, for example' with bellamy knowing clarke is his soulmate but refusing to use her name - calling her princess all the time - because he doesn't want her to know and one day he half says her name and she feels something weird and then keeps trying to get him to say her name so she knows for real

I’m sorry it took me so long! I hope you like it, though! :))

Also on AO3


The hallway is crowded and people are jostling Clarke left and right. That might be due to the fact that she’s not particularly tall but what she lacks for in height, she makes up for in her determination to fight.

And she really, really wants to fight Bellamy fucking Blake who’s pretending like he can’t hear her - five feet away from her.

“Bellamy Blake!”

The thing is, she knows he can hear her. Every time she calls his name, he flinches but keeps going. She sees his messy curls bobbing and if he were any closer, she’d tell him not to give her shit for her height when he can’t even get a hairbrush.

Clarke shoves away a guy who seems like an annoying frat boy and finally - finally - stumbles onto Bellamy, not caring if they fall down.

He turns around in a beat, hands pressing at her waist to keep her steady, and smirking. “I told you you’re too tiny for big crowds.”

Clarke shoots him a glare, gathering her books before they spill all over the floor. She hates pre-med, she hates university, and being a stripper seems like a decent career choice.

She also hates that smug asshole grinning at her just because he’s slightly taller than her.

“Don’t mess with me, Blake.”

“What are you gonna do, Princess?” He scoffs. “Bite my ankles?”

Clarke inhales sharply, clinging onto her sanity - the same one that’s dangling on the last thread now.

The thing is - she doesn’t know what Bellamy’s problem is. She was nice to him when they first met, they never really fought about anything (they bicker, but that doesn’t count), they agree about so many things, have fun and he still avoids her like the plague.

Still, she’s here because she needs him to come to Raven’s birthday party. Nothing else. So she sighs, rummaging through her bag until she can come up with a crumpled invite Jasper made. He’s super into Photoshop and graphic design these days.

“You shouldn’t have avoided me,” she tells him, trying to stare him down even though he’s distractingly pretty. “I’m just passing the invite to Raven’s birthday party. It’s this Saturday, you don’t have to bring gifts, just booze.”

The gaze in his eyes turns much softer after the initial shock wears off and it’s like they’re suddenly suspended in time. He isn’t even glaring or scoffing at her. Hell yeah, it’s weird.

“Thank you, Cl- ahem.”

Something stirs in her chest when he nearly says her name and he cuts himself off, startling like a newborn fawn. For a second, they just stare at each other.

But it can’t be.

“Clahem?” she asks, trying for nonchalant even though shivers are still running down her spine and it’s - different.

Bellamy’s hand darts to his hair, long fingers disheveling the messy curls even further. It’s like someone spilled ink all over them, leaving it to drip and form makeshift constellations on his cheeks.

“Thank you,” he repeats, even though he’s averting his gaze and the invite is ridiculously small in his hands. “I’ll be there.”

“Yeah, just, Bellamy - “

Another flinch and then he squares his shoulders. “I gotta go.”

Clarke’s left standing alone in the middle of the hallway like it’s nothing at all. Like Bellamy just didn’t make something flutter in her chest, somewhere disconcertingly close to her heart. 

He’s not her soulmate, obviously. He can’t be. Soulmates happen to other people, people with kind voices who know how to pronounce each other’s names. Who want to do it.

And Bellamy Blake wants nothing to do with Clarke Griffin.

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Ellie has suggestions

The Avengers come back to the tower after a long day of being awesome only to find Ellie there. The young girl has been thinking up ways to improve their superheoring

The team trudged into the Avengers tower. Sweaty, bloody and weary after a long fight. Captain America’s shield was scratched, the Iron man suit was torn with sparking wires by the shoulder. Professor Bruce Banner was in dire need of a new pair of pants, holding the much beleaguered purple sweatpants around his hips as he limped. Hawkeye only had three arrows left. Natasha’s face was smudged with dirt and her hair was falling loose from its ponytail.

So in other words, most days for the Avengers.

Spiderman and Deadpool were currently bickering over reattaching Wade’s severed arm.

“oh my god oh my god peter just let me do it”

“the last time you did it you put it on backwards now stop squirming you big baby”

“nonononono baby boy come on lets be reASONABLE OH FUCK”

Peter had finally jabbed the arm into its correct position, the bones audibly cracked into place as his body accepted the missing piece.

“Jesus fuck on a cracker baby boy warn me when you do stuff like that.”

“I DID warn you! you’ve just been being a baby! You’ve fallen off buildings with less fanfare than this!”

“I probably would’ve complained less if you let me do it!”

Wade and Peter continued to bicker in the background. Out of all of them it seemed only Thor was feeling properly chipper. Thor’s chainmail was bloodied and dirtied but his smile was bright and his gait light as he swung his hammer back and forth.

Thor grasped both Clint and Natasha’s shoulders, one on either side of him as he shook them lightly on their already unsteady feet.

“Indeed friends art there no better sport than the glory of battle?” he grinned wide at the pair of them. The god didn’t seem to notice the poisonous glance Black Widow sent his way at the Comment. Clint decided to intervene.

For Thor’s safety.

“hey Thor, we’re all pretty beat. Mind handling the food?”

The Thunder God perked up at the suggestion, he shook clint harder “EXCELLENT!” his thunderous voice made Peter and Wade pause their bickering and Natasha to glare harder “WE SHALL FEAST AS HEROES!”

“YES FOOD!” Wade pumped both hands into the air, the motion dislodged the newly attached limb and he and Peter watched the limb fall to the ground in a sickening wet splat.

Peter pinched the bridge of his nose “oh for fuck’s sake wade”

Wade motioned to the fallen limb with his remaining hand “that wasn’t my fault.”

Thor merrily jogged ahead of the team as they continued into the tower. He opened the door to the Avenger’s living quarters. In their living room a little girl was coloring with a….is that a hydra agent?

All of her previous weariness forgotten, Black Widow flew across the room, three daggers were flung with expert precision, pinning the hyrda agent to the sofa, a fourth dagger held to his throat. All before hawkeye raised his bow.

Ellie didn’t even look up from coloring as the Hydra agent began sobbing.


Natasha looked him straight in the eye, her voice steady as a rock and her glare the heat of hellfire.

“Who are you and what are you doing with this little girl, answer me now and I MIGHT not castrate you and staple your balls to your ears like the world’s worst earrings”

The Hydra agent only sobbed harder. Ellie continued to color as she spoke “Aunty that’s just Bob.”

Black Widow loosened the knife a fraction as Deadpool came in with Spiderman holding his reattached arm steady.

The Hyrda agent looked ready to cry tears of joy at the sight of Deadpool. “MR. WILSON THANK GOD!!” He leaned forward only to have Black widow push him back down and press the blade harder against his throat.

“Oh hey Bob! Nice to see you! Hows the Wife? Hows it being held by Black Widow at knife point?”

“ummmm…” Bob squeaked. “She’s fine and to the second question….terrifying and uncomfortable?….”

Black Widow raised an eyebrow at Wade “You know this man?”

“yeah yeah, me and Bob go way back, not sure what he’s doing here though. Thats a little weird..”

Ellie pointed a crayon accusingly at her father “YOU forgot to pick me up at soccer practice! I had to get Bob to pick me up! Do you know how LAME Bob is????”

“Oh shoot baby girl, I’m so sorry, I forgot, Daddy had his arm chewed off by a werewolf ninja…”

She flung a purple crayon at his head “EXCUSES!”

Deadpool pouted at his daughter “Would it help if I told you I saved some werewolf ninja fangs for you?”

Ellie perked up “COOL! WHERE!!???”

Deadpool handed over three long curved fangs for his daughter to inspect “Daddy gouged those out of Daddy’s arm!”

Ellie grinned as she turned the teeth over in her hand “Can I make them into a necklace??”

Wade ruffled his daughter’s hair “Sure thing pumpkin!”

“YAY!” she jumped up and down before she leveled her father with a contrite look “…Sorry for getting mad at you…I know what you do is important…”

Wade dropped to one knee in front of the girl “Nothing is ever as important as you baby girl” he said as he hugged Ellie to his chest.

“Aww thats so cute….” Bruce looked at the tender father/daughter moment, still holding his stretched out pants to his hips.

Suddenly self-conscious he turned to Tony and whispered “…I should probably go put on some pants now that there’s a kid here….”

“yeah you go do that….”

Bob coughed from under Black Widow “…Umm can I go now??”

Captain America made a dismissive motion with his hand “Nat just let him go…”

Natasha took her knives from where she had pinned Bob to the couch, the hydra agent ran, tripping over himself to the elevator. He got inside and frantically started to push the down button, frantically eyeing the Avengers.

At the last moment before the elevator door closed he raised both fists and yelled “HAIL HYDRA!” before letting out a girly shriek as one of Natasha’s knives whizzed past his head and embedded itself into the wall of the elevator behind him. The Avengers all stared blandly as they listened to the sound of Bob’s girly shriek fading as the elevator descended.


The Avengers all got settled in on the couches, flopping to the cushions like battle weary ragdolls as Thor stooped to talk to Ellie. Wade and Peter settled in next to each other, Peter leaning his head on Wade’s shoulder while Wade leaned his head back.

“My heartiest greetings are extended to you young Mrs.Wilson.” Ellie giggled as Thor bowed to the child “Pray thee, what hast thou done in our absence?”

Ellie perked up “I’ve been drawing you guys of course!”

Tony popped up from where he had been sitting “Ah ha! no….no…nope…I’m gone….It never goes well for me when that kid draws…Bye! I’ll be in my lab!….”

Natasha kicks the armored seat of his Iron man suit as he tries to edge past “stop being a jerk and sit your shiny metal ass down, you don’t refuse drawings from kids.”

Tony looked like he was going to protest but a venomous look from Natasha seemed to take any real fight from him. He sat back down, pouting and arms crossed.

“Fine! sheesh fine!” He sighs and motions to the child and leans back “Alright kid, whatcha got?”

Ellie grins and starts to rummage through the papers on the floor “Ok so I’ve got some Ideas!!”

Its then that Bruce returned in a new pair of pants and a t-shirt “What did I miss? Ideas for what?”

Ellie grins wider and every Avenger is suddenly far too aware of just who’s daughter she is “IDEAS ON HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR SUPERHEROING OF COURSE!!!!”

The Avengers all gave each other a worried look as Ellie sorted through her papers.

“OK Aunty Nat!” Natasha straightened at the mention of her name as she was presented with the first drawing.

“OK AUNTY! Picture you! With SPIDER POWERS!!!”

The Avengers all leaned in to see the drawing in Natasha’s hands.

The scribbly Black Widow in the picture seemed to be screaming, her mouth full of sharp fangs and two additional arms below her normal arms, all four arms seemed to be flailing while shooting spiderwebs. a red black widow insignia was adorned onto her chest.

Natasha considered the drawing for a moment. “Wonderful. Though I would like to point out that the red symbol is not very conducive to stealth missions and would likely draw fire…”

Tony raises an eyebrow at the super spy “Really? THATS the problem you have with this? You have FOUR FUCKING ARMS!”

“The more arms to strangle you with now shut up and let her show us her drawings”

Professor Banner continues to look over the drawing “how do you propose we give her extra arms?”

Ellie shrugs dismissively and gently punches the professor on the shoulder “You’re smart, you’ll figure it out! Now I have some ideas for you too!”

The professor begins to sweat.

“You know how you always stretch out your pants when you go all jolly green giant at the bad guys?”

Tony and Clint snigger at the child’s phrasing while Bruce tentatively nods.


“Well my Idea is that you DON’T wear pants”

Tony and Clint giggle louder, Natasha smacks them both upside the head.

Bruce looks even more worried “Excuse me??”

Ellie doesn’t seem to notice the commotion and presents her next drawing. “See dresses and skirts are way stretchier than boring old pants to they ought to stay on you better but then I remembered that not a lot of guys wear skirts unless they’re my dad, so whats LIKE a skirt but not??”

The team all leans forward to inspect the new drawing. Here a scribbly hulk stands proudly in a…….is that a kilt?

“A KILT!!!” Ellie squeals, obviously impressed by her own cleverness.

Clint falls off the couch he is laughing so hard.

“Ummm….” Banner falters under the child’s beaming gaze “yeah….I’ll look into that….”

Ellie turns to Thor “YOUR TURN!”

Thor grins back at the child “Aye I look forward to thy recommendations! pray thee, how dost I improve myself?”

Ellie leans in and cocks an eyebrow at the god “How do you feel about being a…. WEREWOLF!!!” This last word was punctuated with Ellie shoving a drawing into Thor’s face. Thor accepted the drawing and eagerly showed his teammates.

The drawing depicted a very hairy Thor, screaming, eyes crossed, his mouth full of fangs, bushy blonde tail.

Tony looked at the drawing and the jagged werewolf tail on drawing Thor’s backside.

“….Looks like he’s having a fiery explosion fart…..”

Ellie points to a necklace around drawing Thor’s neck “See thats a chunk of moon rock so you can be a werewolf whenever you want!”

Thor nodded and raised an eyebrow in question “Truely is it moon rock? I had thought it a piece of cheese.”

Ellie snatched the drawing back from the god “Its not a piece of cheese!!”

Thor raised a finger “Aye but consider! A cheese necklace may prove to be nigh indispensable on the battlefield! Hunger in the heat of battle is naught a trivial matter!”

Ellie squinted at the drawing and then at the God and nodded “….I didn’t think of that….”

Clint continued to laugh, his wheezing giggles muffled from where his face was pressed to the coffee table.

“OK BIRDMAN YOUR TURN!” Ellie poked the back of Clint’s head. Hawkeye raised his head to rest on his hand as he turned to face the child, his face still beet red from laughing.
“OK kid shoot.”

Ellie presented the next drawing “Ok you’re already pretty cool…”

Clint grinned “why thank you!”

“But have you ever considered… KATANA ARROWS!!”

This drawing featured a screaming cross-eyed Hawkeye about to shoot a long squiggly sword from his bow.

Clint eyed the drawing “….Thats actually really cool….”

Deadpool looked at the drawing and nudges Hawkeye “Dude we should try that.”



Ellie turned to Captain America “OK Cap you next!”

Captain America nodded at the child and straightened his back.

“So you are really cool but have you ever considered….” Ellie handed him the next drawing “SWORDS AND NINJA STARS!!”

This Scribbly Captain America, like all the others, was screaming and cross-eyed. the drawing Captain America held one red katana and one white Katana while apparently shooting white ninja stars from his eye balls.

“Get it?” Ellie gestured to the drawing “It’s like the national anthem! the katana swords are your ‘broad stripes’ and the ninja stars are your ‘brights stars!!!!”

Natasha put a hand to her mouth to stifle a giggle and Steve nervously eyed the drawing.

“thank you…Ellie….But I think I’ll stick with my shield….”

Thor nodded approvingly at the drawing “Tis’ good advice brother…A sword is a noble weapon! There is nothing wrong with a diversification of weaponry! before I gained my hammer, I was oft to fight with a battle axe!”

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed his eyes “Thor, I’m not going to fight with swords…”
“And why shant thee? a sword is a perfectly honorable weapon…befitting of royalty!”

“Wait a second…It that?….” Tony squinted at the drawing.

The Captain america drawing was set on a beach. In the left hand corner was a perfectly innocuous figure sprawling on the sand in a red bikini. Innocuous except for the blue dot on the chest that was obviously supposed to represent the arc reactor in Tony’s chest.

“IS THIS ME????”

Iron man stooped to the floor and scooped up the rest of Ellie’s drawings. Again and again he was depicted in pinup poses, in either bikini’s or short skirts.

“WHAT THE HELL???” drawing after drawing of perky butted winking kissy-faced Tonys flitted about the room as he flipped through one after another.


Ignoring the panicking millionaire, Peter leaned down to his step-daughter “What about us Ellie?” Deadpool leaned down too “Yeah baby-girl, any suggestions for us?”

Ellie hugged her dad and her step-dad “You guys are already perfect”

Wade and Peter hugged their daughter between them, both planting a kiss to her temples. Peter leaned back to face Ellie and kissed her forehead “Come on Ellie, lets get you home…” Peter placed Ellie on Wade’s shoulders and took Wade’s hand in his own. Their little makeshift family leaving with grins on their faces.

Iron man laid on the floor surrounded by about thirty pinup versions of himself.

“…..Why?” he defeatedly whispered to himself.

Natasha sat on his armored chest perusing the pinups. She nodded approvingly as she flipped through them.

“These are DEFINITELY going up in your office” she announced.