purple eye make up

Dysphoria

Words: 792
Warnings: Dysphoria, Bullying, Self-Hate
Inspired By: @bunny-yams Highschool Hamilton AU

Thomas and John walked into Mr. Washington house as he let them in. “Alex is in his room, he hasn’t came out all day,” George spoke, following the two boys a bit. “I’m pretty sure dysphoria has hit him hard this time,” He added. The boys nodded, walking up the stairs to Alex’s room.

John knocked lightly, waiting a moment before speaking, “Hey, Alex. It’s us, can we come in?” He asked. They waited before hearing a click from the door. “We are coming in now, okay?” John said before Thomas opened the door.

Alex sat on his bed, his head facing his knees that were at his chest. His back was against the wall as he sat there, unmoving. Thomas and John walked over, sitting down on the coloured duvet on ether side of the boy. Thomas reached up to run his hand through Alex’s hair.

“Hey, what’s the problem love?” Thomas asked. Alex leaned over on Thomas a bit, and let out the tears he was holding in. Sobs filled the room as the two jocks looked at each other in worry. They both attempted to comfort Alex without moving him, since he always hated being held when his dysphoria was acting up.

Alex’s cries died down a little bit before his broken voice filled the room, “Why c-can’t I be st-strong, be a b-boy like you guy-ys?” He asked quietly as he let more tears fall.

“Hey,” John started, “You are just as much a boy as we are. You are a boy, okay? We only ever see you as one, and so does everyone else,” He said as Alex let out another sob.

“Hey, look at us,” Thomas said, and Alex looked up. He quickly looked down as Thomas gasped quietly, confusing John.

“Alex, please look up again,” Thomas spoke slowly, though he knew what he saw.

Alex knew he couldn’t hide it, but he didn’t want to face his boyfriends right now. Thomas gently put his fingers under Alex’s chin; not to force him to look up but to convince him too. Alex slowly looked up at John and Thomas, making John shocked as well.

Alex’s tears had washed away some of the make up around his eye, showing off a purple and black bruise. “Who, who did this?” John asked quietly, trying to not burst out in anger right then and there.

“M-Matters what day you-u want t-to know-w about,” Alex mumbled, looking down again.

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” Thomas asked, and Alex just vaguely gestured to his sides and legs. John went to stand up, wanting to get Washington but Alex grabbed onto his sleeve.

“P-please, don’t tell him,” He asked, his voice breaking. John looked at Thomas sadly as Alex refused to let go. “P-please,” He spoke again.

John let out a small sigh, sitting down beside Alex once again and gently pulling him close. “So, this isn’t about your dysphoria?” Thomas asked, holding onto Alex’s hand and rubbing his thumb across the back.

Alex shook his head, “Y-y-your w-wrong. N-no one th-thinks I’m a guy, they-y all hate me-e and s-say it’s for attention,” He stuttered out; squeezing Thomas’ hand tightly.

“Hey, who ever said that is wrong, you are perfect the way you are Alex. You are our boyfriend, and you’re a boy, okay? A strong, brave boy,” Thomas spoke.

“B-but, I couldn’t-t even st-st-stop this,” Alex gestured to his eye, “they’re th-the ones who t-tell me I’m a w-weak girl and-d proved-d it b-by beating-g me multiple t-times,” Alex curled into himself a bit, “I-I hate th-his, I hate me-e, I w-want to b-be okay,” Alex’s eyes started watering once again.

“It’s okay to not be okay Alex, but you don’t have to go through this alone. We’re here, Mr. Washington is here, you have so many people who are here for you. You are a boy, you don’t have to prove that to anyone,” John spoke.

“And, if others don’t see it, we will always be here to protect you, to help you, and to show them the truth. That being you’re the best boy, and the best boyfriend, to ever exist,” Thomas added, kissing Alex on the cheek.

Alex nodded. He still hated himself, but John and Thomas were there for him. They loved him and he loved them to, completely and whole heartedly. Even if no one else believed him, all said it was for attention and hurt him because of it, Alex would always have his boyfriends.

And, that is enough.