purple nurples

Seventeen as things said in Buzzfeed: Unsolved videos pt 2
  • S.coups: Xeroxing is not how cloning works
  • Jeonghan: Well if it's any consolation, you look like an idiot
  • Joshua: Or he could be like "wow what a colourful vest"
  • Jun: Hey ghosts, tousle my hair, gimme a little purple nurple or something. Let's have some fun
  • Hoshi: So if I step on a...a fly? Does a fly's ghost...stay around?
  • Wonwoo: If you slit my throat tonight I'm gonna have a hard time forgiving ya for that
  • Woozi: I'm gonna serve you up a fresh truth pancake right now
  • DK: That's my...my darn sandwich
  • Mingyu: If I see people taller than me I get concerned about them because I think they're going to die young
  • The8: I think your argument is not a compelling force though, so
  • Seungkwan: Let's just fuckin skidaddle back home
  • Vernon: It is a very old piece of footage, but so is... Die Hard. Still good.
  • Dino: *laughing* You look like an idiot
Celebration (Poly! Jihope)

*First, sorry Anon, I was swamped this week and I was aiming for Wednesday :( also, Happy Belated Birthday!!*

Anon said :  Heyyy, I saw your requests were open and it’s my birthday this Wednesday so could I request a JiHope!Poly scenario with birthday sex (that possibly includes riding their thighs, please?) Thank you in advance, if you accept my request☺️ & Since you called for it. Can I have a Hobi thigh riding smut?

Word Count: 4.4k 

Your resting body, nested in a cove of blankets as you kept yourself warm during the bittersweet winter. The previous week you were sleeping happily in shorts with a thin blanket, oh how the season change. The cold nibbled at your nose, making you tiredly cover your poor nose. You hear a giggle followed by the snap of a camera, your sleepy conscious not completely registering the presence of another being in your bedroom. You feel your bed dip on either side of you and heat associated with the sudden weight. You open one eye, a blurry glimpse of pink hair and rosy cheeks.

Maybe it was the weight of missing your boyfriends, the sadness creating your cute boyfriend on top of you. You felt lips gently against your cheek, the soft texture and delectable plumpness consisting of Jimin himself but you won’t believe this figment of imagination until your door swung open.

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Drugs Don’t Look Like That

Summary: After a long day of dragging Dean around, the reader just wants to wind down. Unfortunately, the boys make a ‘discovery’ and interrupt her plans for relaxation.

Word Count: 1070

Warnings: mentions of drug usage, light swearing

A/N: my first original fic on this account that isn’t a reply to an ask??? who knew??? send me feedback to let me know if you like this stuff (since I’m usually better at writing angst and not whatever genre this is)
anddd I have like an entire fucking list of stuff I want to write but it’s not coming out just like me so we’ll see if I continue to post on a regular(ish) schedule or nah




Y/N dropped the plastic bag on the kitchen counter as she leaned on it, sighing. It had been a very long day. She hadn’t gone out to hunt or anything, but she spent the entire day grocery shopping dragging Dean around from noon ‘til nightfall. It didn’t help that halfway through her shopping list she lost the eldest Winchester.

She had been looking into buying something before noticing it was too eerily quiet. There was no whining, no cheeky flirting with the local blonde, no accidentally knocking things over. Y/N had the quickly bought the tea baggy in her hands before chasing him down, finding him two stores over looking at tequila, saying something about a ‘purple nurple,’ whatever the hell that was. Honestly, she was afraid to ask.

She had just placed her bag on the table when Sam walked in, evidently awake and hungry. She smirked.

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Voltron immature head canon (cup check game)

I feel like Keith and Lance are the type to play Cup Check and try to give each other purple nurples. Especially cup check, tho. And Hunk would join. And the three would just run around hitting each other in the balls and Allura would just be like “what the fuck are they doing?” And Shiro’d be like “I have no idea, I haven’t played this since I was in, like, middle school…”

Two hours later she opens the door to him playing with the boys, and being the reigning champion and all he can say is “It was very nostalgic watching, I couldn’t help it”

Bonus: Lance accidentally doing it to Pidge and she just stares at him with the most fucking done expression and he’s like “I’m sorry! I forgot!!!” And she just straight up kicks him as hard as she can in the nuts and he’s just like “Yeah okay, I-I deserved that one.” with his voice like 12 octaves higher.

Check, Please! Characters as Things I've Done
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b>Bitty:</b> Shrieking in horror because I saw my mom use apple sauce as a substitute for canola oil<p/><b>Jack:</b> Immediately launching into the inherenty gay nature of the history of the Wild West any time someone so much as mentions cowboys<p/><b>Shitty:</b> Unfriended 250+ people (including my grandma) on Facebook because they kept posting Donald Trump memes<p/><b>Lardo:</b> Accidentally ate my eraser in my figure drawing class because it was sitting too close to my bag of chips<p/><b>Ransom:</b> Downloaded the NHL app, and the first thing I did was look through the head shots to pick out the hottest players<p/><b>Holster:</b> Wore a crop top in the middle of winter for no discernible reason<p/><b>Dex:</b> Gave my brother a purple nurple that bruised his entire boob<p/><b>Nursey:</b> Sat up on the top bunk of my brother's bed and got hit in the face with the moving ceiling fan, proceeded to bleed all over his sheets<p/><b>Chowder:</b> Tweeted multiple hockey players asking them to pay my college tuition <p/><b>Kent:</b> Bought a new eyebrow kit and literally cried I was so happy<p/><b>Tater:</b> Yelling "Hi puppy!!" at literally every dog I've ever seen, regardless of context<p/></p><p/></p><p/></p><p/></p><p/></p><p/></p><p/></p>

So, totally wasn’t kidding when I said I tripped on my way into the restaurant for lunch. Gave my husband a purple nurple when reaching out and grabbing ANYTHING to keep from falling! Lol.

Did some shopping and stuff, got home and my ankle blew up! Now I’m sitting here on ice wondering if that margarita was worth it.

(It totally was)

2

“Kwamis, COMBINE!”

…When you trying to form Voltron but the squad ain’t in sync.


Bloo: Ouchie! Tikkiii, you’re stepping on my head!
Tikki: Oops! Sorry Bloo. Wayzz, quit joking around and or else you’re going to lose your balance!
Wayzz: I am loosing my balance, Tik! Miss Hunni, can you please stop squirming. You’re gonna make me fall!!
Hunni: Well sorry Wayzz but it’s no picnic for me either carrying you and that heavy shell of yours on my back. I don’t understand why Bloo and I have to be at the bottom while everyone else gets to stand comfortably on top of us. Especially you Plagg! Whose idea was it to put you at the top.

Plagg: Come on Hunni, we’ve been over this a dozen times now. Yellow and blue are the legs. Red and Green are the arms and black forms the head. Black is always on top because black’s the leader and the best one so ha-ha!

Hunni: That’s not fear! Why can’t yellow be the head?

Plagg: Because yellow is the leg! I didn’t make the rules hun. That’s the show hunni bee so deal with it!
Hunni: Well then how come Noroo gets to sit on your shoulders? I don’t remember there being a purple one in the show.

Plagg: That’s cause Noroo’s my wingman. He’s the only one here with wings and I didn’t want to leave him out so Noroo gets to be the wings and no one gets to complain, got that!

Noroo: Thank you Plagg! ♥
Plagg: No problem kwami friend.


A Miraculous Crossover parody of Voltron Legendary Defender.

I just recently finished the new Voltron: Legendary Defender and so far, I’m really digging this new reboot of the old series. Love the new premise and storyline. Love characters and of course, I love the animation. Studio Mir, you have wowed me once more. Definitely cannot wait for Season 2 of this series to premiere. I’ve seen one or two Miraculous and Voltron crossover art pop up in the fandom before and decided to do my own take on it featuring the kwamis, of course.

Looking at our current group of kwamis, I noticed that they all match up with the colours of the present Voltron lions and the paladin team (y’know red, blue, green, yellow and black), ironically enough. So naturally I thought it would be cute if I squiggled the kwamis trying form their own little version of the legendary defender and failing…rather humorously, of course. The only exception was Noroo—our little purple nurple who I creatively designated to be the wings. It’s the least I could do since I made him a shield in my last squigglustration and I’d imagine that Noroo would be very, very happy to be the wingman of the K-Squad Voltron team.

Hope all my fellow Voltron loving miraculers in the audience get a laugh out of this crossover parody piece. As always enjoy the K-Squad art everyone and see you next time in the next squiggle art. Stay tune for more star kids.

~LittleMissSquiggles (2016)

♥ More Miraculous Art by Squiggles

Signs as stories of me when I was little
  • Aries: I had a bad case of the hiccups and I held my breath to get rid of them but I did it for too long and passed tf out.
  • Taurus: This girl who was babysitting me wouldn't play hide and go seek with me so I called her an asshole bc I heard it from that 70's show.
  • Gemini: I was like 6 when I was learning how to whistle and I accidentally cat called an elderly woman.
  • Cancer: I gave my cousin a really bad purple nurple and he started to cry and I covered him in a blanket so I wouldn't get in trouble.
  • Leo: I had this Barbie popstar you could sing along with and while I was singing my sister tried to join but I was a jealous hoe and kicked her off the platform.
  • Virgo: I convinced all my friends that I was like 99.9% able to control the wind.
  • Libra: My imaginary boyfriend Toby broke up with me bc I didn't think his skateboard tricks were cool enough.
  • Scorpio: This gross boy in 1st grade always spit on girls for fun and so I protected the girls and spit a mouthful of saliva on him and he never did it again.
  • Sagittarius: After I watched toy story I trapped all my toys under a laundry basket weighed down with books at night.
  • Capricorn: I broke my collarbone when I was like 6 bc my cousin and I were playing ring a round the rosie really fast and my hands were too sweaty to hold on.
  • Aquarius: I wore pink tutu's and plastic furry heels to the grocery store just in case I ran into a prince.
  • Pisces: I was petrified of squirrels and I stayed on my play-set for literally an hour after I saw one run by bc I thought it would kill me.
[insertclevertitlehere]

Tagged by @greggleestfu

Rules: tag 9 people you want to get to know

Relationship status: gay af for @pocket-the-time-lord hahahhhhhhhhhhhh

Favorite color: G R E e n aaaandmaybe purple nurple hhhhh

Lipstick or chapstick: chapstick hhhhh

Last song I listened to:  [VOCALOID] Kagamine Rin and Len - Alluring Secret ~Black Vow~

Last movie I watched: Logan

Top three TV shows: Over The garden wall, Samurai Jack, Wander Over Yonder

Top three characters: Bonechill, PRIN C e  Si D O n, Vaati

Books I’m currently reading: Demian - Hermann Hesse

i tag absolutely no one because im a lazy couch potato imsorry
okayfinei’lltryhhhh
uhhhh @judathian @spmwiki @sketching-misery @ghastly-falls @bugaboo-darling @insertcoolnames @razias-cats @saltcastic @battlewhale