pure grain alcohol

The Mad Scientist

Kramer, fancying himself a mad scientist, abducts both George and Elaine. After a quick ice-pick lobotomy, George is happy to do anything he asks, effectively his servant. “All too easy,” Kramer thinks. Next, he has George apply restraints to Elaine while he attaches an IV to her arm and electrodes to her head. Ignoring her pleas to stop, Kramer explains that she must blow into a breathalyzer every 15 minutes (or else risk being shocked), and the IV will ensure that her BAC is kept at a consistent level, just high enough to ensure extreme intoxication without risking alcohol poisoning. Soon, she has an extreme physical dependence upon alcohol.

Once said dependence is ensured, Kramer imprisons Elaine in a ten-by-ten windowless cell, with a balcony above allowing people to look down upon her. He then enlists George in a new task: Every 15 minutes, he is to drop a single shot of pure grain alcohol from somewhere above the room to see how Elaine reacts. Invariably, she runs to that location in the cell, gulping it out of the air, or, if she’s too late, lapping it directly off the ground.

Kramer observes all of this with great curiosity, writing extensive notes and “hmm"ing loudly.

Alone in his apartment, Jerry wonders why exactly his life has become relatively quiet and very pleasant, but he’s unable to put his finger on it. "Merry Christmas, indeed,” he says to himself.