pure garbage i'm sorry

some fun facts about killian jones

also known as, “why i just can’t quit this asshole”

- was a bad guy. a REALLY bad guy, not just a “villain,” to the tune of killing strangers out of spite, killing enemies to save his reputation, allowing a stranger to die to save his reputation, shooting an enemy’s lover in the stomach to settle a long-held grudge, and killing his own father in a drunken rage out of an overinflamed sense of betrayal (and consequently, orphaning his half-brother)

- was a good guy. a REALLY good guy, to the tune of punching out a man who harassed a strange woman, risking his life to make sure his lover never even had to see her ex-husband again, going out of his way to save the life of a guy who hated his guts, stepping back and allowing the woman he loved to make her own choices, showing mercy to enemies who didn’t deserve it, atoning for his sins and admitting when he was wrong, and repeatedly risking his life (and dying, more than once) to save emma and her family/friends, as well as complete strangers

- was an unparalleled disaster garbage can mess who drank himself into servitude, gambled himself into slavery, slutted his way through every tavern in the enchanted forest, nurtured his drinking problem until it became a downright liability and landed him in thrall of the evil queen, got so fuckstruck with a waspish enemy that he was blinded to her powers and those of her friends, lost two fights in a row to a tiny librarian, and got obliterated by a fairly large and visible car on an open road

- has a very close relationship with floors and unconsciousness. physical comedy value: a+

- is dapper as fuck and knows it. is handsome as fuck and knows it. is the world’s most consummate gentleman, even when blackout drunk, head over heels in love, a literal coward in an alternate universe, or in the middle of a goddamn swordfight. also an unapologetic bottom with no concept whatsoever of wounded masculinity.

- has repeatedly tried to cut himself off from his friends and emma because he thought his corruption and doomed nature was hurting them. literally tried to die because he thought his becoming the dark one would ultimately hurt emma more than his death. is reluctantly coming to realize that he’s worth something and that his existence isn’t just a cosmic joke

- has literally sassed the king of the underworld and consistently gives zero fucks for authority

- ????? just really loves emma swan more than anyone or anything in the world, and is too good for this world, too pure