pupamp asked:

So it was my birthday and I had asked for a big puppy daddy but I guess none of my friends got the memo. Any strays left in the kennel to adopt? 😈❤️

You didn’t get a puppy for your birthday? Oh, that brings back memories… Wait, I’m a clone. I have memories of my childhood like androids dream of electric sheep. Still, it’s very sad that you didn’t get a pup to perfect the party celebrating such a momentous occasion as your birthday! 

Please, come with me! I know just the thing to fix this nearly irreparable travesty!

Welcome to the Forest! This is a particularly interesting area of the Foundation because it wasn’t meant to contain anything or anyone in particular. It was intended to simply be a place to connect the Bear Den and Kennel by it’s back door to allow both the connect to nature they deserve as implicated by their names, but then it just started coming about that more mystical creatures started being moved here.

Now it’s not unusual to see a merman, centaur, satyr, or any other sort of thing you can imagine here. If Taurean was on duty you’d see what I mean, but he’s off playing with his toy somewhere in here. No that’s not a euphemism. It’s a long story. Besides, we should be looking for the bear-pup.

The bear-pup is a mystical thing, a pup that is hairy, burly, manly, and altogether a perfect daddy in form, but instead he is a pup. My last predecessor, coincidentally the one Taurean is now probably fucking, was processing him when he became Taurean’s toy, so we don’t honestly know who he was or how to repeat this magnificent effect. That’s we’re on this little safari hunt instead of simply making another bear-pup.

Oh, wait! There he is! Isn’t he great! Now, the story has it that if you approach him and he sees goodness in your heart then he will become loyal to you fore eternity. Then again, the tale also says that he will grant you three wishes if you speak the secret word into his tail-hole, so I brought some irresistible Foundation Treats.

Go on. Hold out a treat in hand. Yeah, he’s got the scent now. Don’t panic! His butt is wagging. He’s excited! He wants to be yours! Don’t just give him the treat though. Make his work for it. If the tales are right, he is a very smart pup. Ask for his tail-hole. What a good boy!

Well, my work is done, so you go ahead and have fun! I’ll send a guard over here in a little bit to check on you guys, and when you are done go ahead and drop by the Kennel to register the cutie to your name. Alright?