My brother posted this on Facebook:
Punxsutawney Phil woke up, looked around him, and pronounced in groundhogese, “I have seen not only my own shadow, but the long, dark shadow that has enveloped your land, blotting out all light. All joy. All hope. Know that this winter shall not end! Not in six weeks! Not in six upon six thousand weeks!”
He then turned to the president of the Inner Circle and said, “Our accord is broken! Do not call upon me again!” And with that, Phil scurried back into his burrow.