punsy

libraryoftheancients replied to your post “So the new thing in my life is listening to evERY PODCAST EVER OHGOD…”

Clearly you should do a podcast devoted to puns

I–okay. So. Best case scenario? I quickly run out of pun material, because that shit takes skill.

Worst case scenario? I actually succeed in keeping a puncast running. I am subsequently overwhelmed by the deluge of outraged hatemail, which is the natural response to terrible, repeat punning crimes. The world’s CO2 levels skyrocket as every listening human and several house pets heave exasperated sighs in unison.

Also, if anyone is going to have their life hijacked by the creation of a puncast, it ought to be @copperbadge . I think he’s earned that, for good or ill.

Queen B Puns

I will be very disappointed if Chloe/Queen Bee does not drop a ‘bee’ Pun at least once. Or multiple times.


“You got to 'BEE’ kidding me.”

“Don’t 'BEE’ Stupid.”

“I am 'BEE'tiful”

“You got to 'BEE’ kidding me!”

“'BEE more careful!”

“You better not 'BEE’ flirting with my ladybug, you stupid cat!”

“Will you 'BEE’ Mine?”

Originally posted by laurasartblock

*SPOILERS FOR TG:re 129*

Confirmed: Kirishima Bunbun Number 1 has a bun baking in the oven. Also she ate a hamburger bun and okay I really should just stop with trying to force bun puns

I have so many things to say about this.

1) The baby is conceived from a half-ghoul and a full-ghoul, which would make it a three-quarters ghoul. I would assume that it would have more ghoul traits than human traits, so I don’t understand why Touka has to eat human food to nourish it. I mean, Kaneki freaking found out about his ghoulification by not being able to eat human food anymore. So if that trait is dominant in him, and obviously in Touka, then shouldn’t the baby be able to take in nutrients from ghoul food aka human meat?

2) From a narrative standpoint, sure, there’s a lot of drama to be had by Touka suffering just so she can bear a healthy child, but wouldn’t it be just as dramatic if the main conflict of this subplot was Touka trying to find a way for her body not to absorb her child? That’s more plausible given what we know about ghoul biology, barring what I just said previously about it being more ghoul than human in any case.

unless of course it’s revealed that eating human food would make her less likely to absorb her child idk. But that plot thread’s way too implausible.

3) Also, from a nutrition standpoint, HAMBURGERS ARE NOT NUTRITIOUS, TOUKA. YOU HAD A CHEF FOR A BEST FRIEND. ALSO NISHIKI, YOU WERE FREAKIN’ STUDYING PHARMACY AT UNI, YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER. God. Tsukiyama will probably have an aneurysm, you uncultured swine.

4) Okay, how ‘bout the fact that this special type of pregnancy opens up a huge discussion in ghoul biology? Ishida has to explain a ton of things with regards to reproduction, intrauterine growth and development, genetics, and ohmygod my geek is showing.

5) Speaking of biology, I wonder if the fact that Touka initially wanted to study biology in Uni is going to be addressed? As I said, she’s involved in a very special type of pregnancy, she’s basically her own grad school thesis tbh.

6) BRINGING KIMI BACK TO THE STORY WOULD BE SUCH A BIG HELP RN??? She was heavily implied to be an integral part of that pro-ghoul human organization, which also specializes in ghoul health. She’s a medical student. Wouldn’t she be the best OBGYN for Touka? And Nishiki’s also helping Touka. I just want them to get back together already.

7) Also does this mean Touka’s going to be sidelined in the fighting again? I mean getting stabbed and healing from that is one thing, but it’s another thing if your uterus gets stabbed while your still developing child is inside. Unless one of the first things that develop in a ghoul fetus is the healing factor. Idk. Ghoul biology, guys.

Anyway, I feel like there are a lot of fixes for Touka’s little BUNdle of joy that’s the last bun pun I promise but Ishida’s playing it up because drama.

Open When… You want to know one hundred reasons why I love you.
  1. I love your eyes
  2. I love how forgiving you can be
  3. I love your gorgeous smile
  4. I love that you write me letters
  5. I love how you asked me to prom
  6. I love the way you look in your grey beanie
  7. I love the way you kiss me
  8. I love that you’re a man of faith
  9. I love your laugh
  10. I love your attitude towards life
  11. I love that you can make me smile no matter what
  12. I love how tall you are
  13. I love that you visit me at work
  14. I love that you play guitar
  15. I love that you never lie to me
  16. I love that you put up with my awful jokes
  17. I love your sense of humor
  18. I love your voice
  19. I love the way you hold me
  20. I love how passionate you are about your career
  21. I love how giving you are
  22. I love your blond hair
  23. I love that you love basketball
  24. I love that you have the perfect taste in music
  25. I love the nicknames you give me
  26. I love all the freckles and moles on your skin
  27. I love how forgiving you can be
  28. I love how well you can read my emotions
  29. I love how caring you are
  30. I love that you’re a dog person
  31. I love that you’re a great conversationalist
  32. I love our inside jokes
  33. I love how ticklish you are
  34. I love the way you brush your hair to the side
  35. I love that you let me drive your truck
  36. I love your kisses
  37. I love that you tell me goodnight every night
  38. I love the way you dress
  39. I love the way you dance with me
  40. I love that you hold my hand
  41. I love how much you love movies
  42. I love your commitment
  43. I love how often you tell me that you love me
  44. I love the stories we have together
  45. I love the way you look at me
  46. I love how persistent you can be
  47. I love the way you hug me
  48. I love your odd euphemisms for swear words
  49. I love you unique you are
  50. I love that you take school seriously
  51. I love that you love your family
  52. I love how honest you are
  53. I love how shy you were when we first started talking
  54. I love that you always know what to say
  55. I love how willing you are to help me when I need it
  56. I love how patient you are
  57. I love that you finish song lyrics with me
  58. I love your teeth
  59. I love the way you look when you’re confused
  60. I love that you’re fun
  61. I love that you text me good morning
  62. I love how supportive you are
  63. I love that your voice is deeper in the mornings
  64. I love the way you think
  65. I love that I can talk to you about anything
  66. I love how smart you are
  67. I love that you feel comfortable with me
  68. I love all of your dorky one-liners
  69. I love the way you smile when we dance together
  70. I love how trustworthy you are
  71. I love that you put your arm around me when we watch movies
  72. I love how protective you can be
  73. I love that you will do anything for your family
  74. I love how musically inclined you are
  75. I love that you talk to me
  76. I love how you treat your friends
  77. I love that I can have a great time with you no matter what we do
  78. I love that you are willing to do anything for me
  79. I love that you know what you want in life
  80. I love your good looks
  81. I love that you make me want to be a better person
  82. I love that you tell me secrets
  83. I love how special you are
  84. I love that you put up with my weird taste in music
  85. I love how encouraging you are
  86. I love that you kiss me on the cheek
  87. I love that you’re willing to talk about the real things
  88. I love how hard working you are
  89. I love how you comfort me
  90. I love that you can be competitive
  91. I love how cute you are
  92. I love that you listen to my music suggestions
  93. I love that you trust me
  94. I love how handsome you are
  95. I love how you always tell me how you feel
  96. I love the amount of effort you put into our relationship
  97. I love how supportive you are
  98. I love your awful puns
  99. I love that you can always make me laugh
  100. I love you
Happy Father’s Day!

Hey trans folks! I know many of you have rather fraught relationships with your dads, and some of you have lost your dads. Father’s Day can be rough on folks in that situation, so I want you to know that if you don’t have a Dad for Father’s Day, you do now. I’m now your Dad. Consider these benefits:

  • I have 13 years experience as an actual certified (my name is on TWO certificates!) dad
  • I’m phenomenal at bad dad jokes and puns
  • I care about you
  • I love you
  • I see you for the wonder and joy that you are
  • I see you for the gender and person that you are
  • You can always come to me for some fatherly advice whenever you need. 
  • And! Not everyone can say they have a trans woman for a dad, but now you can!

Have a happy and safe Father’s Day!

UR FAVE IS PROBLEMATIC: HUGH DANCY
  • looks smol but is not smol
  • owns a schnoodle named weegee
  • looks good with and without facial hair
  • enjoys soaking in fake blood, even when it gets into his asscrack
  • can speak fluent french
  • trolls his fans with good/bad puns
  • is a DILF
  • has visited the shanghai museum of sex multiple times
  • is really good at accents
  • has a friend who is obsessed with airport carpets and was booted out of an airport after taking a picture of their carpet for said friend
  • loves jaffa cakes
  • have you heard the way he pronounces ‘marzipan’? sinful

please feel free to add more!

anonymous asked:

why do you love cal so much?

omg where do i start

do u know those cinnamon roll types post well cal is the one who ‘looks like they could kill u but is actually a cinnamon roll’ and that is why i love him to death

he says stuff like

“i am your rightful king, silver-born for centuries. the only reason you’re still breathing is because I can’t burn the oxygen from this room” (i died)

and winks at mare NOT MUCH OF AN INCENTIVE and she’s all like “the noble ladies of norta would have fainted if prince tiberias winked at them” dude’s hot afff

loves planning battles and stuff (it calms him makes him happy) and is literally a soldier

but then he also

makes (dorky) puns
is not a good swimmer (and embarrassed bc of it what a cutie)
is good with kids (imagine dad!cal bye)
doesn’t have to help the reds (flying the blackrun, training them!!) but he does
still will protect mare even if she betrayed him

anyway i just love him a lot!!!

anonymous asked:

Imagine if Fox!Lila managed the tear Alya's miraculous from around her neck, resulting in her transforming in front of all of Paris. Lila has her pinned against the street, LB, CN, and QB are all in the shocked crowd that surrounds the previously battling foxes. Alya sees her family and Nino, terrified, at the crowd's head. Lila grins, and leans toward the retrained heroine, and says: "Liars don't deserve love; take it from me." 1/2 (I'm getting vibes that she's gonna get kicked in the face)

Ladybug like runs tf over there and punches her (Lila) in the face and Chat and Queen are in the background screamin “TALK SHIT GET HIT, OOOOOOOH!!!!!” And LB retrieves Alya’s miraculous and gives it back and she’s like “Everyone deserves love, even liars. It just so happens that liars also deserve to be kicked in the groin or punched in the boobs.”

ok no tho im going to be serious now i promise also this is long sorry

Ladybug is fuming when Alya’s revealed in front of paris. She’s fuming when Lila tells her she doesn’t deserve love. She’s feeling guilty then too. But she squashes them both down, because she’s got her best friend and a classmate to save.

Her yoyo begins to spin and pick up speed, her brow is furrowed, and beside her CN and QB are in position to move. Everyone holds their breathe, waiting for Ladybug to make her move. Alya’s panicking and Lila’s smirking, but even her smirk is tinged with nervousness. Ladybug is about to do something, everyone can feel it, but before she moves, she says:

“There is no single person that I’ve met who is undeserving of love. Liars, cheaters, bullies… what they do is wrong, yes. But if they do not deserve love, then it is hate they will get. Hate breeds hate breeds hate. Knowledge and understanding and compassion and love… those are what burn ignorance and cruelty to the ground.” She takes a deep breathe, reaching out with her mind to feel every muscle in her body. She’s steady, she knows it, and when she speaks again, her voice is free of wavers and strong. “Love will prevail today, Lila, as it always does. The heart is true and pure. Yours has been corrupted, but we will free it from Hawk Moth’s control. Now… Let go of my best friend.”

And just like that everything’s throws into action. Ladybug lunges forward at the same time Lila does, Chat Noir and Queen Bee both act as support, and Alya tries to get herself closer to her miraculous which is still gripped firmly in Lila’s hand.

Keep reading

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Finally! I drew my Fatesona! Now I can join the ranks along my friends! Special thanks to @lithety​, @belowtheraedar​, @ronyasartarchives​, and everyone of my new friends who continue to inspire me and make me laugh with their such amazing drawings (and of course @krazehkai​ my dear Senpai and basically god of the fandom tbh.)

I hope I get to become friends with more of you! I promise I’m not a bore and I will shower you in fan art if I can ;v;

Anyways let’s get down to the info!


Name: Paco

Class: Apothecary

Birthday: July 28

Personal Skill: Quick to Forget
When Paco is not carrying any healing items (cause he forgot them),
+4 Speed and +10 Avoid (get it? Quick to Forget?)

Description/Facts:

  • 5′ 6″ (or 167.5 cm)
  • Very naive and trusting (Very easy to trick)
  • Very kind but not quick to forgive
  • Is sympathetic and can see things from different perspectives
  • Physically can not use real curse words nor swears. Ever. (frick)
  • Very clumsy
  • Talks to himself for fun sometimes
  • Fears being alone or hurting others
  • Can be very loud at times
  • Very susceptible to cravings (move over gaius)
  • Has mad ADHD Quick to get distracted
  • Is not mentally adept (cant read well or math rip)
  • Just wants everyone to get a long (awwww)
  • Most of his recipes were probably found off a dead nohrian (thanks ma)
  • bad puns
  • is a meme

Background History:

Paco was a simple villager in a small town of Hoshido. Nothing ordinary. Aaand then Corrin and the gang passed by and he joined up with them. The end. He never wanted to become a healer or a merchant like his parents, but had a passion for baking. Despite the lack of encouragement and strict physical and mental training, Paco still managed to spare time at the oven. Unfortunately, he never got the hang of memorizing recipes or got passed the basics of healthcare. Still he stayed determined to make his parents proud. When the time came to finally enlist in the Hoshidan army, although woeful of his abilities in healing and medicine, he was able to make up for it with his archery. Although never rising above average in accuracy, his efforts did not go unnoticed, as his high spirits and commitment helped him keep up with his fellow comrades. And I love him very much.


Anyway that’s all for now! I’ll probably update this eventually but good enough to start joining the community right?