puni god

  • Apollo: I am a god! No one can touch me! I-
  • Clairesse: *Picks him up by the leg and starts smashing him on the ground*
  • Clairesse: Puny god.
Imagine:

After Jasper is finally healed, Lapis approaches her and, pressured by Steven, offers her a sincere, whole-hearted apology over the whole Malachite fiasco…

…Jasper’s response is the following:

Originally posted by marcintosh

(Or, to be more faithful to the series)

Originally posted by arrowsablaze

Until Lapis is utterly fucking poofed, upon which Jasper, perfectly calm and deadpan, replies “…you’re forgiven!”

Lie - Bruce x Reader

This was originally posted (along with some of my other posts) on my Wattpad book. 

(This is set just before Age of Ultron)

You had just finished making a call for Tony so you went down to visit him and Bruce in the lab.

Before the sliding doors opened in front of you, you heard JARVIS announce your presence. When you entered the lab, you could see that they’d closed all their holographic images and computer programs.
Now, both Bruce and Tony were leaning against the bench, staring at you with an attempt at innocence.

“(Y/n)!” They said in sync, Tony sending you a grin.
Your eyes went straight to Bruce.
“How’s the research going?”

“Uh. Good. It’s going good.” The Dr smiled at you.

“Good.” You said, striding over to him. Bruce bent down to press his lips to yours but stopped just before he did.
“This is your cue to leave Tony, if you don’t mind.”

You could see from Bruce’s expression that behind your back Tony was mouthing something, probably about not trusting Bruce to keep their secret. He wasn’t wrong to be worried.

Finally, Bruce’s lips were on yours and you could hear Tony muttering about getting kicked out of his own lab before the doors closed behind him.

You pulled away from the kiss to look at him, “So what have you been doing down here?”

“We have a lot to do.”

“Such as?”

“I can’t tell you.” He said blushing.

You quirked an eyebrow, “I thought you would trust me Bruce?”

He sighed, “It’s Tony’s idea. It would be amazing if it worked but it’s just too dangerous.”

You leant back on the bench, tilting your head.

Bruce opened his mouth to speak but then Tony suddenly reentered the lab.
“We’re working on a suit to fight the Green guy. Just incase he goes rampaging and destroys half a city… again.”

Both you and Bruce sighed at Tony’s bluntness.
“Okay then. I was just checking up on you guys. I’ll see you later.”

A few weeks later you caught them off guard.
They’d “acquired” some new equipment after their attack where they’d met the Maximoff twins.

They were in the lab, talking about it and you walked in.
“Artificial intelligence?” Bruce asked in bewilderment.

“Artificial Intelligence?” You echoed and their heads snapped round to see you quick as the wind.

“(Y/n), have you got the drinks-” Tony began, but you cut him off.

“Artificial intelligence? You want a suit with artificial intelligence flying around the world? Do you really think that’s a good idea?”

“Yes. I do.” Tony stated but you ignored him.

“You lied to me, Bruce.”

“I only found out about this now!” He complained.

“No. I heard you. Ultron. You’ve been planning this for a while.”

“(Y/n), it’s just an idea.”

“Okay great, an idea that could potentially kill everyone.”

“Or protect the earth from alien attacks!” Tony put in.

“You’re so paranoid about alien attacks yet you want to use alien technology for a weapon!”

Bruce gently touched your arm, “It’s not a weapon.”

“Oh really? Okay then. If you say so.” You went to leave the lab but Bruce ran after you.

“(Y/n)! Would you listen to me?”

“You’re just going to lie!”

“No! I’ll talk to Tony. Talk him out of it. I’ll do my best.” He took your shoulders.

“Fine.”

He grinned in relief, “Thank you. I should never have kept this from you.”

“Yeah. You shouldn’t have.” You said as you left.

Avengers Chatroom: Puny God

Requested by Anon.

Scenario: Loki’d


Thor has created a chatroom.

Thor has invited Y/N, Tony, Nat, Bruce, Steve.

Thor: Greetings.

Y/N: Hey, Thor.

Tony: Hey point break

Thor: I need to ask a question.

Steve: Shoot.

Thor: What is good for my hair? What will make it soft and silky?

Bruce: Maybe Nat can answer this. She has great hair.

Nat: Coconut oil? I’m not sure.

Thor: I need my mane to be glorious.

Y/N: It already is though.

Thor: MORE GLORIOUS.

Tony: Mkay …

Thor: I would also like to share that I have finally realized how great my brother is. I’m declaring him as the future King Of Asgard. I was wrong about him. Also he should get access to the base and all our chats.

Y/N: EH?

Steve: Why?!?

Thor: He was just misunderstood.

Nat: Remember what I told you when we all first teamed up?

Thor: Nay?

Nat: Oh you know… THAT HE MURDERED DOZENS OF PEOPLE.

Thor: He was just… acting out.

Y/N: MAN MY ACTING OUT IS LIKE, SLAMMING A DOOR AND THEN REGRETTING IT INSTANTLY. WHO MURDERS PEOPLE?

Thor: Enough. I forgive my brother and you all should.

Steve: We accept that you forgive him but it doesn’t mean we should.

Tony: HE THREW ME OUT OF A BUILDING!

Thor: HE WAS JUST TRYING TO FIND WHO HE TRULY IS!

Bruce: I’ll kick his ass if I ever see him again.

Thor: I will make sure he evades you at all costs …

Nat has added Clint.

Clint: What’s going on?

Clint: Really, Thor?!

Clint: HE MADE ME DO THINGS AGAINST MY WILL!

Thor: HE IS SORRY!

Y/N has added Wanda.

Y/N: I need you to check if he has brain damage pls

Wanda: Thor, can you let me poke around your mind for a bit?

Thor: STAY BACK YOU MEWLING QUIM!

Nat: Oh you have got to be kidding me.

Thor: I mean… I am an oaf who thinks about stupid things. It would be embarrassing if you entered my mind.

Tony: I knew something was off about Thor!

Bruce: Before I hulk out, which I’m about to, here is a message from the hulk: HULK SMASH PUNY GOD!

Bruce has left the chat.

Y/N: I just saw Thor and let him know what you did, Loki.

Thor: WHY WON’T YOU PEOPLE JUST FORGET ABOUT MY PAST?

Y/N: OH BOY, I TRIED TO TAKE OVER THE EARTH. WHOOPS, I FAILED. BOY OH BOY. OH WELL, ALL IS GOOD, WANNA HANG?

Thor: Yes, actually.

Y/N has left the chat.

Wanda: Do we assemble…?

Steve: I think the hulk can handle this.

Thor: PLEASE NO.

Thor: I JUST SET MY HAIR.

Steve has left the chat.

Tony: Try not to bleed too much. I just got white carpets and blood would be hard to remove.

Tony has left the chat.

Nat: You know, we would be okay with you hanging around, but instead you pull stunts like this.

Nat has left the chat.

Clint has left the chat.

Wanda has left the chat.

Thor: YOU WILL ALL REGRET THIS

Thor: I AM LOKI

Thor: AND I AM BURDENED

Thor: WITH GLORIOUS

Thor has been disconnected.