puni god

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┬┴┬┴┤ ├┬┴┬┴ I’m prepared to get kicked out of the fandom

@bekbekah92 @bloody-geisha

Avengers Chatroom: Puny God

Requested by Anon.

Scenario: Loki’d


Thor has created a chatroom.

Thor has invited Y/N, Tony, Nat, Bruce, Steve.

Thor: Greetings.

Y/N: Hey, Thor.

Tony: Hey point break

Thor: I need to ask a question.

Steve: Shoot.

Thor: What is good for my hair? What will make it soft and silky?

Bruce: Maybe Nat can answer this. She has great hair.

Nat: Coconut oil? I’m not sure.

Thor: I need my mane to be glorious.

Y/N: It already is though.

Thor: MORE GLORIOUS.

Tony: Mkay …

Thor: I would also like to share that I have finally realized how great my brother is. I’m declaring him as the future King Of Asgard. I was wrong about him. Also he should get access to the base and all our chats.

Y/N: EH?

Steve: Why?!?

Thor: He was just misunderstood.

Nat: Remember what I told you when we all first teamed up?

Thor: Nay?

Nat: Oh you know… THAT HE MURDERED DOZENS OF PEOPLE.

Thor: He was just… acting out.

Y/N: MAN MY ACTING OUT IS LIKE, SLAMMING A DOOR AND THEN REGRETTING IT INSTANTLY. WHO MURDERS PEOPLE?

Thor: Enough. I forgive my brother and you all should.

Steve: We accept that you forgive him but it doesn’t mean we should.

Tony: HE THREW ME OUT OF A BUILDING!

Thor: HE WAS JUST TRYING TO FIND WHO HE TRULY IS!

Bruce: I’ll kick his ass if I ever see him again.

Thor: I will make sure he evades you at all costs …

Nat has added Clint.

Clint: What’s going on?

Clint: Really, Thor?!

Clint: HE MADE ME DO THINGS AGAINST MY WILL!

Thor: HE IS SORRY!

Y/N has added Wanda.

Y/N: I need you to check if he has brain damage pls

Wanda: Thor, can you let me poke around your mind for a bit?

Thor: STAY BACK YOU MEWLING QUIM!

Nat: Oh you have got to be kidding me.

Thor: I mean… I am an oaf who thinks about stupid things. It would be embarrassing if you entered my mind.

Tony: I knew something was off about Thor!

Bruce: Before I hulk out, which I’m about to, here is a message from the hulk: HULK SMASH PUNY GOD!

Bruce has left the chat.

Y/N: I just saw Thor and let him know what you did, Loki.

Thor: WHY WON’T YOU PEOPLE JUST FORGET ABOUT MY PAST?

Y/N: OH BOY, I TRIED TO TAKE OVER THE EARTH. WHOOPS, I FAILED. BOY OH BOY. OH WELL, ALL IS GOOD, WANNA HANG?

Thor: Yes, actually.

Y/N has left the chat.

Wanda: Do we assemble…?

Steve: I think the hulk can handle this.

Thor: PLEASE NO.

Thor: I JUST SET MY HAIR.

Steve has left the chat.

Tony: Try not to bleed too much. I just got white carpets and blood would be hard to remove.

Tony has left the chat.

Nat: You know, we would be okay with you hanging around, but instead you pull stunts like this.

Nat has left the chat.

Clint has left the chat.

Wanda has left the chat.

Thor: YOU WILL ALL REGRET THIS

Thor: I AM LOKI

Thor: AND I AM BURDENED

Thor: WITH GLORIOUS

Thor has been disconnected.

Lie - Bruce x Reader

This was originally posted (along with some of my other posts) on my Wattpad book. 

(This is set just before Age of Ultron)

You had just finished making a call for Tony so you went down to visit him and Bruce in the lab.

Before the sliding doors opened in front of you, you heard JARVIS announce your presence. When you entered the lab, you could see that they’d closed all their holographic images and computer programs.
Now, both Bruce and Tony were leaning against the bench, staring at you with an attempt at innocence.

“(Y/n)!” They said in sync, Tony sending you a grin.
Your eyes went straight to Bruce.
“How’s the research going?”

“Uh. Good. It’s going good.” The Dr smiled at you.

“Good.” You said, striding over to him. Bruce bent down to press his lips to yours but stopped just before he did.
“This is your cue to leave Tony, if you don’t mind.”

You could see from Bruce’s expression that behind your back Tony was mouthing something, probably about not trusting Bruce to keep their secret. He wasn’t wrong to be worried.

Finally, Bruce’s lips were on yours and you could hear Tony muttering about getting kicked out of his own lab before the doors closed behind him.

You pulled away from the kiss to look at him, “So what have you been doing down here?”

“We have a lot to do.”

“Such as?”

“I can’t tell you.” He said blushing.

You quirked an eyebrow, “I thought you would trust me Bruce?”

He sighed, “It’s Tony’s idea. It would be amazing if it worked but it’s just too dangerous.”

You leant back on the bench, tilting your head.

Bruce opened his mouth to speak but then Tony suddenly reentered the lab.
“We’re working on a suit to fight the Green guy. Just incase he goes rampaging and destroys half a city… again.”

Both you and Bruce sighed at Tony’s bluntness.
“Okay then. I was just checking up on you guys. I’ll see you later.”

A few weeks later you caught them off guard.
They’d “acquired” some new equipment after their attack where they’d met the Maximoff twins.

They were in the lab, talking about it and you walked in.
“Artificial intelligence?” Bruce asked in bewilderment.

“Artificial Intelligence?” You echoed and their heads snapped round to see you quick as the wind.

“(Y/n), have you got the drinks-” Tony began, but you cut him off.

“Artificial intelligence? You want a suit with artificial intelligence flying around the world? Do you really think that’s a good idea?”

“Yes. I do.” Tony stated but you ignored him.

“You lied to me, Bruce.”

“I only found out about this now!” He complained.

“No. I heard you. Ultron. You’ve been planning this for a while.”

“(Y/n), it’s just an idea.”

“Okay great, an idea that could potentially kill everyone.”

“Or protect the earth from alien attacks!” Tony put in.

“You’re so paranoid about alien attacks yet you want to use alien technology for a weapon!”

Bruce gently touched your arm, “It’s not a weapon.”

“Oh really? Okay then. If you say so.” You went to leave the lab but Bruce ran after you.

“(Y/n)! Would you listen to me?”

“You’re just going to lie!”

“No! I’ll talk to Tony. Talk him out of it. I’ll do my best.” He took your shoulders.

“Fine.”

He grinned in relief, “Thank you. I should never have kept this from you.”

“Yeah. You shouldn’t have.” You said as you left.

Semifreddo

So I was catching up on Shokugeki no Soma the other day and one of the dishes that was made was a semifreddo. It was made both my Aldini and stalker dude, but I opted to make Aldini’s because it’s a little simpler and this is already a difficult recipe. Here is what it looked like in the show. 

It’s a 4 layer dessert that starts with a pate a genoise on the bottom (a sort of sponge like cake), followed by a thin layer of lemon curd, then the semifreddo itself, an almond praline on top, and then the dish is dressed with a limoncello syrup. 

This is one of the harder dishes I’ve attempted from the show. Overall I think mine turned out well, but there were areas that needed improvement. It would be a gigantic wall of text to write out a lot about each layer, so I’ll just go through what caught my attention with each layer. 

The pate a genoise requires you to beat the eggs and sugar together over a double boiler and then whip that to double the original volume while it’s cooling and then very gently fold in the flour. This gives it a really luxurious fluffy texture. Unfortunately I mostly collapsed the mixture when I folded in the flour. So mine was pretty squat and dense. It tasted alright, but the texture was not great. 

The lemon curd is the next layer, and one of the simpler parts of the recipe. You just take all the ingredients and throw them in a saucepan and whisk it together as you heat it up. The tricky part about it is that the curd goes from really thing to oh no the eggs are about to scramble really fast. I had to very quickly put mine into an emergency ice bath to stop it from cooking further. I’d recommend making a lemon curd at some point. It’s fairly straightforward and is a great spread to put on anything. I’ve been enjoying the leftover curd on waffles. 

The next layer is the Semifreddo. Much like the pate a genoise it requires you to heat a mixture over a double boiler and then whip it to double the volume. If you’re not familiar with cooking over a double boiler it would be real easy to scramble the 7 egg yolks in the mixture. The recipe I used called for bringing it up to 170′F and then taking it off and whipping it as it cooled down. The MVPs here were the instant read thermometer and the stand mixer with the whisk attachment. But a bit more about the eggs. So egg yolks start to set around 160′F and you have to bring the mixture up to 170′F. This means that if you stop whisking it and let it sit for a bit it will start to basically scramble. This is bad. You can’t make a frozen custard out of scrambled eggs. But if you’re diligent with whisking and taking the temperature pretty regularly it’s not a huge problem. Once you’ve cooled it down and beat it, you fold in whipped cream and then pour it into a mold and let it freeze. It was topped with chopped roasted almonds.

The praline is very straightforward. I have a really hard time with candy, so I was a bit nervous about this part of the dessert. The recipe I followed called for gently melting a cup of sugar in a saucepan until it turned a pale golden, and then letting it sit and darken to a deep golden and then you stir in the nuts and then pour it out on a tray. I’m pretty sure the deep golden that was referenced is hard crack (~300′F) but I’m not sure exactly. Overall it turned out more like a brittle than a praline, but that’s ok. It was better than I expected. The texture was pretty hard though, and blitzing it in the food processor would have made plating and eating the dessert a lot easier. (yes the wooded fork became one with the candy)

The last part of the dish is the limoncello syrup. I didn’t take any pictures of this step so I’ll talk a bit about limoncello. It is a liquor that is typically produced in southern italy and has a very strong lemon flavor as you might have expected. It varies greatly in sweetness but typically has some amount of sugar in it. I looked up how to make it by scratch and it’s pretty simple. You take a denatured spirit (everclear is a good example) and steep lemon peels in it (with the white part removed from the inside. That’s really bitter and would not give you the desired taste) for 100-140 days. It’s very simple to do, but it’s a long time to wait. I think I’ll make some sometime, but that’s not on the radar just yet. So to make the syrup I just reduced some limoncello with a little bit of lemon juice and sugar to make a simple syrup. 

So it’s time to put the creation together! The semifreddo melted much faster than I was expecting which made this kind of hard to plate. But here you go!

It was starting to fall over and melt pretty quickly so this is the best picture I managed to get. Overall I was really happy with the dish. The lemon curd turned out excellent, the semifreddo had a wonderful lemon flavor and really light fluffy texture (due to it being made of things that got whipped a bunch, lots of air in the mixture). The praline was too hard and when you tried to put a spoon through it, it squashed the whole cake down. Had I blitzed it in the food processor and just poured crumbles over the top it would have been a lot easier to eat. It still tasted good. As I mentioned before the cake was a little too dense and sort of overpowered the rest of the dish. But If you got a small bite of cake with a larger bite of the other things it was super tasty. 

It was a lot of work to make this dish and I wouldn’t recommend it for people not confident in their cooking abilities. Each part of the dish can go catastrophically wrong really fast, from double boiler disasters, to your candy turning into glass. But if you’re confident in your abilities then it’s a fun dessert to make for a special occasion. If you happen to have liquid nitrogen, dunking the semifreddo in it before plating would help solve the melting problem, but I’m going to assume very few people have access to liquid nitrogen for home cooking. I aspire to get some, but I don’t have it yet. 

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My part of the art trade with the very lovely @tsurakerusartandcraft​ ♥ ♥
Hope you like it!! qwq I’ll draw you something better soon I swear ;; v ;;


I did a cute chib just for you look at him love is blind zfdzfdzfdqsdd

anonymous asked:

favorite movie quote? favorite book quote?

Oof. I have a LOT of favorite book and movie quotes.

Book quote: “In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him. I think it’s impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves.” -Ender’s Game

Favorite movie quote:
Loki: Enough! You are, all of you are beneath me! I am a god, you dull creature, and I will not be bullied by… 
[Hulk flattens Loki with repeated smashes into the floor
The Hulk: Puny god. 

(from imdb)

That is one of the most iconic moments in all of Marvel cinematic history!!