punchlin

Cr1tikal is hilarious on his own but the funniest thing about him is that he hid his identity for like 9 years (longer??) and people judged from his unusual voice and rude way of speaking that he was either this super obese guy or hideous deformed degenerate

fast forward almost 10 years later and the punchline is revealed: he’s looks like he was carved by angels and everyone loses their shit

it was a joke almost a decade in the making

Cr1tikal, you’re a magical man

anonymous asked:

In terms of raw power, would you say America Chavez is on the same playing field/an even match for (or stronger than) any given Kryptonian?

Now, if I was in my serious writer mode, I’d argue that separating any superhero character from the context of their universe just doesn’t work. Nothing is neutral, and superhero stories are stories, not simulations. When you do crossovers between universes, the rules are always fudged (i.e. created a new set of rules which tries to give a significant level of dignity to all individuals). My go to example is always Superman vs the Authority. If Superman fought the Authority in the DC universe, the story,… well, the story would probably go like ACTION COMICS 775. If Superman fought the Authority in the old DC universe, he’d be turned into ham-salami in two seconds in a gloriously cynical punchline. Or to put it another way - “Batman only wins” only works in a universe which is willing to go along with that. As such, we can’t really compare them in any 1:1 which is fair. They’re different fictional constructs with different purposes - though America was explicitly me doing a riff on Wonder Woman, which may help place her. I’ve always meant to write a little essay on my thinking behind America.

Now, if I was in a less serious and terrible troll mode, I’d probably say something like “America’s magic. She’d kick Superman’s head clean off.” 

My Dad Tells A Story:

It’s just a list of facts

My Mom Tells a Story:

Tolkein levels of description and setup but she usually nails the punchline

My little brother tells a story:

Starts in the middle, doesn’t explain one or more crucial details until the end of the story

I tell a story:

Riddled with verbal asterisks and parentheticals and not in any particular chronological order

Honestly kinda tying in with what I mentioned last night, I’m not a big fan of ripping out Flowey’s petals intended to be the punchline of a joke, for the same basic reasons, and especially if by Frisk. I wind up just seeing it as the equivalent of a little kid getting their hair painfully ripped out and that’s just not funny it’s sorta just fucked.

god's a stand-up comedian (he's got a special on hbo)

by olivias

bellamy and clarke are both stand-up comedians, and as bellamy insists: they’re the comedy world brangelina. everybody loves them. they’re good, maybe the best. then the mount weather fiasco ensues, and after that, london. as a result, clarke commits some serious comedy crime: she steals bellamy’s jokes, and tells him goodbye.

ba dum tss. the punchline is he still loves her.

Words: 2731, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English



Read it on AO3 at http://ift.tt/1S60NfN
Nearly 70% of Americans said a (Donald) Trump presidency would make them anxious. And 30% said a Trump presidency would make them Canadian.
—  Conan O’Brien, in Punchlines.
*shuffles up to you in a trenchcoat* “ey mac, u wanna watch some anime?”

I’ve been asked to create a list of shows that i would recommend for someone lookin for good shows to watch so here u go

Classifications:

👊: fighting/shounen

👀💦: Fanservice

🙀: horror/gore

😍: Has love story

😂: humorous

💔: FEELS

💯: one of my favorites

🔍: Mystery

🔮: supernatural

😪: slow at the beginning BUT HOLY CRAP THE ENDING

🚗: Mech

🎶: AWESOME SOUNDTRACK

🕘: Ongoing, not finished

🎨: BEAUTIFUL ART

💭: Psychological BS

OK: HERE WE GO, IN ALPHABETIZED ORDER, WITH LINKS

Akatsuki no Yona👊, 😂,😍,🔍, 🎨

Aquarion Evol:  🚗, 😂, 🎶, 👀💦,😍,👊,🔍

Avatar: The Last Airbender💯, 👊,😍, 😂, 🔮, 🎶,🎨

Bakemonogatari: 😪, 👀💦👀💦, 👊, 🔮, 😂, 🙀, 😍, 🎨, 💭

Blue Exorcist: (read the manga too, tbh) 🔮,👊,😂,🙀but not a lot, 👀💦,💔 

Erased: 🕘, 🔍, 🔮

Ergo Proxy: 🎨, 😪, 👊, 🙀, 😍, 🔮, 🔍, 💭

Eureka Seven: 🎨 (seriously it’s like a Ghibli movie), 🚗, 🔮, 🔍, 💔, 👊, 😍

FLCL (Fooly Cooly): 💯, 👀💦, 👊, 💭, 🔮, 🎶, 😍, 😂, 🔍, 🎨 

Gurren Lagann: 💯, 🚗, 👊, 👀💦, 😍, 😂, 💭, 🎨, 💔💔, 🔮, 🎶

Katanagatari: 💯, 👊, 👀💦, 🙀, 😍, 😂, 💔💔, 🔍, 🎨🎨

Kekkai Sensen: 💯💯, 🎶, 🙀, 😍, 😂, 💔, 🔍, 🔮, 🎶🎶, 🎨 holy shit just pls go watch Kekkai Sensen omg

K-Project (season 1 bc season 2 sucked tbh ): 👊, 👀💦, 😂, 🔍, 🔮, 🎨

Kyoukai no Kanata: 💯, 👊, 👀💦, 🙀, 😍😍, 😂, 💔, 🔍, 🔮, 🎶, 🎨

Magi: Kingdom of Magic ie: If you’re from the Middle East, why are you white?

💯, 👊, 👀💦, 🙀 (mild gore), 😂, 💔, 🔍, 🔮, 

Mononoke: HELLA GOOD ART 🎨🎨, 🔮, 🔍, 💭, 💯, 🙀, 😪, 🎶

Noragami: 💯,  🎨, 👊, 😂, 💔, 🔍, 🔮,🎶, 😍😍

One Punch Man: 💯,  🎨, 👊👊, 😂, 🔮, 🙀

Owari no Seraph: 🎨, 👊, 🔮, 🙀, 💔, 🔍, 😍 (hella ghey), 👀💦

Punchline: 👀💦 (but not in the way you’d expect), 👊, 🔮, 🙀, 💔, 🔍, 😍, 🎨, 😂, 💭(time travel UGH)

Parasyte: 💯💯💯MHMM GOOD SHIT,👊,🙀,😍,😂,💔,🔍, 🔮, 🎶,🎨, 💭

Samurai Champloo: AGH MY FAV💯💯💯, 😍, 😂, 💔, 🎨🎨, 👊, 🎶🎶🎶

Shingeki no Bahamut: 😍, 😂, 💔, 🎨🎨, 👊,🙀, 🔍, 💭,🔮, 🎶, 👀💦,

Snow White with the Red Hair: 😍😍😍, 😂, 🎨

The Legend of Korra: 💯, 👊, 😍, 😂, 💔, 🔮, 🎶🎶🎶, 🎨

Tonari no Kaibustu-Kun😍😍😍, 😂, 🎨, 💔, 😪, 

Tokyo Ghoul: 💔, 👊, 🙀🙀🙀, 🔍, 🔮, 🎶, 🎨

Xam’d: Lost Memories: 💯,👊, 🙀, 😍😍, 😂, 💔, 🔍, 🔮, 🎶, 🎨, 💭

Zankyou no Terror: RATED T FOR TEARS 💯💯💯, 💔💔💔, 🔍, 🎶🎶🎶,🎨🎨🎨, 💭💭 No seriously this is one that you really shouldn’t ignore.

MOVIES 

Howl’s Moving Castle😍,🔮, 🎶, 🎨🎨🎨

Princess Mononoke 💯,👊,😍,🔮, 🎶, 🎨🎨🎨

Wolf Children: 💯,💔💔💔,😍,🔮, 🎶, 🎨🎨🎨

The Girl who leapt through time: 😍, 💔, 🔍, 💭, 😪, 🎨

Summer Wars:  💯, 👊, 😍, 😂, 💔, 🔍, 🎨🎨

Epic: 🎨🎨, 👊, 😍, 😂, 🔮

Spirited Away:  🔮, 😍, 🎨, 🎶,  

Journey to The West: Monkey’s Return: (this is the best quality link i could find i’m sorry TT - TT )  

And just for the heck of it have some of my favorite non anime cartoons:

Gravity Falls

Steven Universe

Star vs the forces of evil

Samurai Jack

Sym-bionic Titan

Go nuts

Originally posted by iloveanythingkawaii