My players are trying to sneak out of a royal party with the princess, upon her request.

Me: Two guards are walking down the hallway; one away from you, and one straight towards where you’re hiding. The princess ducks behind you as to not be spotted.
Paladin: I look [Monk] in the eye and say “punch me in the face.”
Monk: I punch her on her armor.
Paladin: I fall dramatically into the middle of the hallway.
Me: The guard extends his hand to you and says, “are you okay, ma'am? What happened?”
Monk: I’m pacing and yelling about how she disrespected me!
Paladin: I lunge at her.
Me: Make a dex saving throw?
Paladin: *fails*
Me: Alright, the guard is holding you back now.
Artificer: I totally didn’t realize that they’re pretending, so I say: “C'mon, really? Things were going so well and then you started infighting! We don’t need this right now!”
Paladin: I’m just glaring at [Artificer.]


Teen Titans: ↪ garfield logan / the changeling / beast boy

“Let me tell you this Cyborg. Are we still going to play video games later? And Raven will you still punch me in the face every time I hit on you? Starfire is your heart still full of love and friendship? And Robin will you still push me to be the best hero I can be? It’s like you said, bro. Looks don’t matter. We are family no matter what!

Taylor Swift didn’t punch me in the face when I was talking to her and I don’t know if I’m happy or sad about that… like.. bitch, fuck me up?? but also thank you for understanding that I bruise easily!

Kouri watches Stranger Things 1.05

  • “Our little boy” fuck you Lonnie
  • Jonathan just not wearing his tie because he won’t ask Lonnie for help *ugly cries*
  • I love how they tried the “it was all a nightmare/hallucination brought on by drugs!” trope on Hopper and he just nopes right on out of it
  • Dustin figuring out the thing with the compasses I love him so much
  • I’m not saying I want Lonnie to come back in season 2, but it is a grave injustice that nobody got to punch him in the face
  • Hopper’s face when he sees all the lights at the Byers house lmao
  • Elevennnnnnnn I am a billion cries
  • Nancy investigating the gooey hole in a tree like Nance, I love you, but that’s the sort of thing that gets people in horror movies killed

Oh, hey, look at that, it’s a random drunken slimeball flirting with Yang.

Cue punch to the face in 3… 2… 1…

(when he said “You’re not too bulky, not too lean” and Yang finished his sentence with “I’m just right,” I’m pretty sure that was a Goldilocks joke…)

Okay, look. I know I said that Yang would probably punch the guy in the face. But even as I typed it, I realized I wished it would not happen.

Look, this guy was being an insufferable twit, true. And as horrible as lecherous comments and invasion of personal space is, an actual punch from a rage-fueled Huntress, enough to knock a tooth out of his face, is a bit much.

Right now, the world views Yang as a dangerous, bloodthirsty, aggressive beast. You know, from the Mercury fiasco.

And this really doesn’t help dispel that image.

I won’t lie: I’ll be a bit disappointed if this scene comes and goes with no ramifications from it. Just a bit.

canon can do what it likes but in my heart the show will always end with 

-Pidge rescuing her family

-Allura K.O. ing Zarkon with an epic punch to the face

-and all of team Voltron plus Sam and Matt heading back to Earth for a well earned vacation so Pidge can introduce her alien gf to Mom Holt and the family dog